Freak
by bobafettsgirl
Summary: Katherine Jane Welsh prefers to have a cigarette in the morning instead of toast, booze instead of water, and drugs instead of homework. She would also prefer to have an alarm clock wake her up instead of her drunken parents. But we can't always get what we want, can we? Under reconstruction!
1. Prologue

**McKinley High School**

**Michigan**

**1980**

Katherine Jane Welsh was a freak. She was a burnout, an abortion, and a weirdo. There were three tracks in High School, as Daniel explained it. 'Track one', 'track two' and 'track three'. 'Track one' was the smart kids, 'track two' was the normal kids, and 'track three' was the dumb kids. Katherine was clearing 'track three' long before she entered high school. As if that wasn't enough, McKinley High had seemingly divided itself into social groups; the jocks, geeks, freaks, Goths, Hispanics and blacks. In her dichotomized school, there was only one haven - the patio. She could smoke to her heart's delight, and no one would bother her or give her cruel glances. Her only friends – Daniel, Nick, Kim and Ken – were like bright patches of light in pitch-black darkness. They held her up by tiny thin strings that were too close to snapping. They were constant support beams that never seemed to crumble.

When she needed to throw up in class, Daniel was there for her. When she got too drunk at a party, Kim was there for her. When she got so high she couldn't stand up, Nick was there for her. When she felt like slitting her wrists, Ken was there for her.

Katherine was a ticking time bomb that her friends seemed to keep diffusing. But for some reason, something kept lighting the match.


	2. Chapter 1 - Pilot

**Pilot**

****Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.****

****A/N: I do not own anything besides Katherine and her family/back story. ****

"Hey Welsh, you got gum?"

The ever so common question that I heard at least three times per day came from my lovely friend Kim Kelly, who had stopped me in the hallway in between classes and was holding her hand out in inquiry. This particular afternoon had not allowed us to cross paths during our schooling, as our shared classes at McKinley High were few in general.

Not wanting to disappoint my blonde friend, I bobbed my head up and down and reached into my saddle bag to grab a piece of spearmint gum for her to satisfy her sugar cravings. For Kim, gum was the way to survive the day without allowing her vicious anger problem to bubble over and destroy everything in its path. In a sense, it was like a very slight addiction holding back a dam of emotions, but I liked to consider it a simple sugar craving instead.

Myself, on the other hand, needed particularly heavier substances to forget about my emotions. For example, there was nothing that would allow me to forget or get over this morning when I had nearly slipped on my mother's vomit on the floor – she and my stepfather boasted heavy drinking problems – other than alcohol. I used a lot of substances as crutches: nicotine, marijuana, alcohol – the list went on, but it more or less included anything I could get my hands on. Most often than not, thanks to my so called 'responsible parent's' problems, that substance ended up being alcohol that I swiped from the not-so-secretive cupboard. This morning had also been particularly rough since Daniel was still in the process of fixing his car, so I had been forced to hitchhike to school upon the realization that I was going to be late.

My anxiety ridden life was not a good one; I constantly suffered from panic attacks and had been diagnosed with nervous vomiting, an extremely sensitive issue that my long time friends – Kim, Daniel, Ken and Nick – tried to help with. My mental status was in a state of constant decline, and I found myself only being able to cling to my friends, who were more like family than my real family, to stay afloat.

"Thanks," Kim interrupted my thoughts as she grabbed the gum from my hands and shoved it in between her lips, chewing viciously only to make a disappointed face. "Ugh – it's mint?"

"Deal with it," I scoffed bravely and approached my locker, opening the combination and dumping one of my textbooks inside. It was a bit of a struggle, especially when my underweight frame and its bird arms tried to place the heavy book up top. "It's the only kind I have."

"Alright, whatever," Kim shrugged the incident off and placed one hand on my back, the gesture easing my somewhat upset stomach. "I'll see you after school, yeah?"

I nodded and watched her and her blonde hair make their way down the corridor. The feeling that accompanied satisfying Kim Kelly's gum cravings was strange; considering how she used it as an assistant to keep her anger at bay it put a weird pressure on the friends around her to constantly supply some form of the chewy 'sedative'. I wasn't sure how comfortable I felt feeding her this sort of antidote to her anger.

Trying to ease my mind of those thoughts, I distracted myself by grabbing my books for second period English and heaved a sigh. I dreaded school – I wasn't cut out for it, and I really couldn't stand being told what to do. I wanted freedom, and the thought of being chained down by tasks like reading another useless book due the next week made me feel like a dog on a leash. The only plus side to school was that Daniel happened to be in a large amount of my classes, which comforted me greatly. When he wasn't running around with Kim trying to impress her or pulling fire alarms like the classic 'bad boy' that everyone knew him to be, he was a sweet guy who cared for the well being of his friends and I was honored to have him as one of my companions.

Despite my friends casting a soothing presence in the classrooms that I frequented however, it was unlikely that they could eliminate all traces of anxiety in my chest that caused such horrid problems to arise throughout school hours.

This concept proved itself true the minute I walked into the English class and plopped myself down next to Daniel, who shot me a calm smile that did not comfort whatsoever. The growing ball of nausea tightened and tightened in my stomach as the class moved forward, and I knew that the inevitable was going to happen. About halfway through Ms. Dwyer's reading of _Othello_, I began to feel my throat tightening and my neck craned automatically. Gagging silently and feeling Daniel's eyes on me, I turned towards my friend looking like a sick cat with my eyes as wide as saucer plats. He motioned towards the garbage can, gaze growing in concern when I paled visibly. I tried to make myself as inconspicuous as possible as I rose and bolted towards the garbage can.

This goal could not be attained, of course, as I vomited as soon as I reached the black bin and the entire class was distracted by what was now a usual occurrence. Not many emitted noises of disgust; most people pitied my condition at this point and were polite enough to at least talk about me behind my back instead of my face.

Daniel had been hot on my heels as I had rushed towards the trash bin and was now placing a warm hand on my back, but all Ms. Dwyer managed to do was sigh impatiently. If this had been any other student I would have considered her reaction rather rude, but with my constant interruptions it was a less serious matter and I understood her annoyance.

"Mr. Desario," Her nasally tone filled the now-silent room as my friend and I stood near the trash receptacle. "Please escort Ms. Welsh to the nurses office _again_."

Daniel and I left the English class and a very miffed Ms. Dwyer as quickly as possible, travelling down the hallway at an appropriate pace to get to the washroom. I would never go near the nurse's office in fear of being sent home for health concerns, and Daniel didn't care to be in the girls washroom, so each time a teacher sent us out when I felt sick, we would go the bathroom. Daniel was usually the one to accompany me on these sick journeys, as he and I shared most of our classes together.

"Shit," I muttered as I gagged again and felt the bile rising in my throat.

Ripping myself away from Daniel's clutches I quickly veered right towards a trashcan and hurled right into it. Daniel tugged my hair back held it away from my face, a task that he had grown more and more used to over the years. I grimaced at the thought that I had put my friends through so much of this crap, ignoring the sting of the stomach acid in my windpipe until I had to pay attention to the fact that the horrid nausea was coming back and I was retching once more. By the time I had expelled whatever stomach acid could have possibly been left in my stomach, my throat was completely raw.

"Done?" Daniel stopped rubbing my back and let go of my hair as I straightened, nodding glumly.

We slowly made our way towards the bathroom, where I rinsed my face with cold water and drank straight from the tap like a parched animal. My esophagus still felt like it was on fire, even with the chilled substance soothing my throat that was causing my nausea to go down.

"I need a cigarette," I muttered as I rose from the sink and tugged my sleeves further down my scar-filled arms. I hated the fact that so many people could see how badly my anxiety affected me considering most of my puking occurred at school – where I was most nervous – and at the moment the only thing I wanted to do was be swallowed up by the ground. Unfortunately I knew that this was rather far fetched, so I had to settle for hanging out with my friends at the school's hidden 'patio', where we could sit, smoke and not be nagged by teachers who never bothered to travel back there.

Daniel passed me my messenger bag in response to this that he had tugged out of the classroom with him, and I thanked him before rifling through it for my pack of cigarettes. Cursing as my fingers simply couldn't grasp the package, I realized that I had either forgotten my pack today or Rick, my mother's awful abusive boyfriend, had stolen them.

"God dammit," I groaned pathetically as I looked towards Daniel leaning against the wall of the women's bathroom. "I'm out of cigarettes."

Daniel sighed and reached into his back pocket, opening his pack of Marlboro's and holding out a cancer stick. My hand shot up for it, but as soon as I was about to grasp the cigarette he pulled it away. I made a noise of protest in my throat, reaching for the small stick once more, but he held it high over his head with a classic Daniel grin.

"Only if you listen to my story!" He bargained, and I groaned before rolling my eyes and agreeing.

"Fine," I drank from the sink's tap once more before we exited the bathroom, making out way down the hallways towards where the patio was located. "Tell me your stupid story."

"Not stupid!" Daniel sang as he held open the door for me, ushering me through. "Alright – so get this. I was wearing Ken's shirt right? The one with the bloody axe and the guy's head all severed and shit."

"Right."

"And you know how my mom makes us go to church every week?"

"You mean how she literally drags you by the ear?" I smirked, remembering staying at home plenty of Sundays whilst Daniel was forced to dress himself in stuffy clothing and attend services. "Your mother is a tank."

"Exactly," Daniel grinned once more. "Exactly that – so anyway I get up to the door and the priest says I can't come in. So you know what I did?"

"What?" I echoed back, a sly smile spreading over my face as I realized that this story quite possibly held a happy ending.

"I told my mother that I'm a full grown adult," Daniel began proudly, a smirk lighting up his face. "And that I choose not to be religious. And you know what? She listened! The broad listened! You're lookin' at a church free Daniel, baby!"

"Yeah well," I scoffed unimpressed, pushing open the last door to the cafeteria. "You better pray to someone when she finally figures it out that you're repeating math again."

"Oh shut up," My friend playfully shoved my shoulder, shaking his head. "You're in the same boat Welsh, don't gloat."

Daniel stopped briefly to pick up some food from the lunch line that was still quiet, as most classes hadn't gotten out to eat yet and we wanted to reach the patio as quickly as possible. My friend quickly grabbed meatballs without pasta, orange snowballs – I couldn't begin to describe how much I hated the sugar filled things – and a slice of garlic bread. I didn't know how Daniel managed to stay in shape with such a diet, but somehow the impossible became achievable.

"You should eat something, Welsh," Daniel's tone had taken on a very condescending ring, and I rolled my eyes as I was forced to handle the familiar situation once more. My friends tried to make me eat as much as possible when I was around them, but due to my nervous vomiting and disordered eating I tried my very best to divert their efforts.

"Nope," My lips popped on the 'p' of the word, causing Daniel to frown at the cashier as he paid for his food.

We set off through the cafeteria in silence, and I knew that in these moments my friend was somewhat fed up and confused at the fact that I continued to resist his efforts to help me with my health. Kim had a similar problem with my eating habits, but recently they all seemed significantly more concerned with me.

Daniel tore into his food as we walked, making his way over to where the plates were stacked and dumping his on top of it. It wasn't until I looked down at the empty piled dishes on the trolley that I realized he was already half done his demented meal. I was about to speak up and say something when a very familiar voice beat me to it.

"Hey Daniel – hey Katherine,"

We both turned at the sound of Lindsay Weir's voice, a girl who we knew quite well to be the brainiac of the school that was a little more earthy than the rest of the smarties. She had recently quit the mathletes and was now adopting a large military jacket, a fashion statement that I rose my brow to as I wondered why exactly she had changed her style.

"Hey Lindsay," Daniel nodded to her as he licked his fingers clean of the juices on the meatballs he had recently gobbled down, smiling slightly at her. It didn't take a fool to see that Lindsay was slightly infatuated with Daniel, but then again _everyone _was slightly infatuated with Daniel. My friend was handsome, cunning and classically rebellious, all traits that seemed to draw women in like moths to flames. "What's up – where you been?"

"I-I've been uh..." Lindsay stuttered on her words, seemingly trying to search for the right thing to say. "Around."

"Cool, cool," Daniel nodded, wiping his hands off on a nearby napkin before throwing the paper into the pile of dishes and wrapping an arm around me. "Alright – let's hit the patio."

"Oh?" Lindsay seemed to hesitate at first, watching Daniel's movements closely. "The smoking patio?"

"Yeah," Daniel smiled, noting that Lindsay was clearly nervous. "It's alright – they don't bite. Except this one."

My friend landed a noogie on my head, causing me to squeak and swat his paws off of me. Lindsay made her final decision to follow us after a split second, still watching Daniel pull my small frame along curiously. We passed through one more set of doors that allowed us access to the patio, slightly hidden by artistic walls that seemed to make the teachers forget about the space we frequented altogether. Upon our arrival there were shouts in Daniel's direction, and I made my way over to the bleachers to sit next to Ken. I sighed and tried to focus on the beat of Nick's drumsticks on his thighs, whilst ignoring Ken's faulty attempts to hit on Isla Swartz by slapping her in the ass with an elastic band.

"I'm sorry!" Ken called out as she turned in disgust and spat out an insult. "Your butt was calling to me."

"I'm thoroughly ashamed," I scoffed and shook my head in mock embarrassment of the incident as Ken bumped shoulders with me in response.

"But you love us, right Welsh? And you'll stay with us forever?" Nick gave me a sloppy grin from his place in front of me, tilting back until he was leaning against my legs. I shook my head again and grinned, playfully slapping his head as we both knew perfectly well that my friends were the only good parts in my day.

"You'll never leave!" Ken feigned intensity, shaking me back and forth until bubbly laughter was spilling out of my lips in glee. "You're ours forever!"

"You guys know Lindsay?" Daniel quickly stole our attention as he introduced Lindsay to Ken and Nick, who despite looking rather passive and harmless at the moment were clearly intimidating Lindsay.

"Hi." She waved meekly, and I suddenly found myself thankful that I was comfortable amidst my close friends. I couldn't imagine being in her place and being forced to make friends all over again when she undoubtedly had abandoned her own social circle.

"Oh hey, you were in my English class last year!" Nick pointed at Lindsay with his drumstick, causing her to smile slightly. "You're the chick who got an A."

"Yeah, well what are you gonna do?" Lindsay shrugged, noticing that his comment silently asked the question of 'why are you hanging out with us if you're an A student?'.

"I dunno," Ken's blank stare took Lindsay off guard. "What _are_ you gonna do?"

"Hey Desario," I spoke up to cure the awkward silence that was now plaguing the group as Lindsay realized Ken's wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, reaching out my hand towards my male brunette friend. "You owe me a smoke."

He tossed me the cancer stick with a smile, watching me light up and exhaling the soothing smoke through my nostrils. I sighed happily as a calming sensation flooded through my body and relaxed my bones, thanking Daniel formally as soon as I had taken another drag. Lindsay regarded me with wary eyes, unsure of whether or not I was a friend or foe to her but relaxed a bit when I shot her a shaky smile.

"So, are you guys going to the homecoming dance?" She asked, desperately trying to make conversation in an area that she hadn't redeemed herself in yet.

"I beg your pardon?"

"That's funny," Daniel grinned down at Lindsay, a light of uncertainty sparking in his eyes. "That's a joke, right?"

I stayed quiet and smoked my cigarette, tuning out the conversations of my friends around me. The only chance that I would have of going to any dance was if someone paid me, and considering my scrawny frame there was little chance of that. It was of no interest to me to listen to conversations concerning social situations such as dances or events, as I was already nauseous enough at school as it was.

My thoughts drifted to my mother, and how drunken she had been when she woke me up at 6 am this morning by vomiting loudly and then putting me at risk by not cleaning it up. Rick, her awful boyfriend and my unfortunate stepfather, kept supplying all of her alcohol and only making her habits worse. It was getting to the point where I was sure one morning I would wake up and find her passed out for good. Strangely enough, considering the fact that Rick was rather abusive both mentally and physically to the whole family, I wasn't looking forward to that day. The only thing seemingly keeping Rick from murdering both of us was my mother, so I sincerely hoped that the woman wouldn't tap out for good.

I was shaken out of my thoughts when Nick and Daniel's tiny scuffle nearly shook my cigarette out of my hands, causing my anger to flare.

"Hey! Watch it!" I scuffed Nick atop the head and blew my smoke in Daniel's direction. "What are you, five years old?"

Lindsay laughed at the tiny ruckus, until Nick noticed Millie standing at the entrance to the patio.

"Hey, check it out." He noted, nodding in her direction. "What does she want?"

"Lindsay!" Millie called softly, trying to call her friend over across the patio. "Linds..."  
"Friend of yours?" Ken questioned sarcastically, wrapping a loose arm around me as I took another drag of my rapidly diminishing cigarette. "'Linds'?"

Lindsay reluctantly walked over to Millie and uttered words that I couldn't hear, seemingly trying to tell the other girl to leave. It apparently worked, because after a couple seconds Millie left and we shrugged off the incident only to continue on with normal conversation. Well – normal to us. For Lindsay, this whole situation seemed bizarre and this opinion was clear on her face. I didn't know what kind of conversations she had been having with the mathletes, but apparently our talks about whether or not Ken's mother was cheating on his father or exactly how drunk our friend Stoker had gotten at a party last weekend – drunk enough to fall head over ass down the stairs like a goddamned slinky (I still didn't know how he was standing) – were enough to keep her relatively quiet until we decided to take a walk inside.

I snuffed out my finished cigarette and acknowledged that there was a good ten minutes left of lunch, as well as the fact that Lindsay was still trailing after us as we calmly roamed the halls. Ken had disappeared for a little bit, but quickly reappeared as we stopped near Nick's locker in one of the main hallways.

"Hey," Ken quickly approached Daniel with a folded sheet of paper. "Chemistry exam you ordered?"

"Alright," Daniel smiled and took the paper from him, but frowned as he realized the pages were blank. "Where are the answers?"

"You just said to steal the test…" Ken's face was blank as he tried to realize what he had done wrong, only to come up empty handed.

"Well good work, genius!" Daniel spat and lightly smacked Ken across the head. "Way to use your brain."

"What?" Ken whined, and I patted his arm as Daniel scoffed in frustration.

I felt sympathy for him; I knew what it was like to walk into a classroom and know that you were going to fail the test, no matter how hard you tried. It was a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach that just kept growing and growing, and it didn't stop until you finally had handed in your papers and walked out of the classroom. Granted, I got better grades than most of my friends – besides Lindsay (who was actually yet to be considered a friend) – but I knew for a fact that Daniel and his report card were not on good terms whatsoever.

"I'm cutting. Who's got gum?" Kim approached our group with a neutral expression, eyes passing over Lindsay as she rose her brows expectantly. Our newest attachment began rifling through her own things to search for a beloved chewy stick, and I nearly rolled my eyes as I realize just how many pieces of gum Kim most likely went through in a day. Ken ended up being the one to find a piece first, and held out a suspicious looking stick of gum towards Kim.

"Oh yeah," Kim snorted sarcastically at the sight of the crumpled stick. "Why don't you blow your nose into some bread and make me a sandwich, too?"

"Why is everyone crawling up my butt today!?" Ken looked at the blonde girl astoundingly, disbelief coating his usually calm features as Kim merely sneered in his face.

"Hey Kim," Lindsay got my blonde friend's attention as soon as she finished insulting Ken, bravely stepping up to the task of handing her a piece of gum. She had no idea what she was in for. "I got some."

"What's she doing here?" My friend whipped around and glared at both her and Daniel, eyes accusing.

"She's our friend," Daniel gave her his classic smile, and I grimaced.

_Wrong answer._

"What?" Kim teased, placing her hands on her hips and looking up at her on and off boyfriend. "Are you doing her so that she'll help you with your math homework?"

"Hey," Daniel tried to suppress Kim's attitude, and partially shielded Lindsay with his body. "Lay off."

"Hey, Kim, I –" Lindsay tried to initiate a conversation with our blonde friend once more, only to be interrupted by her seconds later.

"I wasn't talking to you brain," Kim sneered, blue eyes cold as ice as she stared down the smaller brunette girl. "Don't you have a test to take or something?"

"Hey, would you be cool?" Nick stepped out from behind Lindsay to defend her, finally. Lindsay looked confused and insulted, and I practically shielded myself behind Daniel to avoid getting any whiplash out of the toxic situation. "Please?"

"Did I do something to you?" Lindsay asked my blonde friend in shock, astounded that Kim had the audacity to behave this way towards her.

"You're here." Kim deadpanned, not catching onto the fact that Lindsay had no experience dealing with the likes of her attitude before. She wasn't going easy at all.

"Well I have as much right to be here as you do!" Lindsay fired back, and I sensed things were getting tense.

Daniel huffed and turned around, almost walking away from the situation before I held a hand out and made him stay. There was no way that he was leaving Nick, Ken and I with an angry Kim and a helpless Lindsay who, for the record, still hadn't done anything wrong. Despite this, Kim retained the awful ability to make people feel horrible about nothing, and was a fantastic bully when she wanted to be. It was moments like these that I was ashamed to call her my friend, but there were reasons behind her actions.

"Hey brain, I shoplift in your daddy's store," Kim started to advance on Lindsay, approaching her slowly and leaning down slightly so that she was talking directly into her face. "You're just some rich kid whose trying to piss off her parents. You think you can hang with these guys, huh? You think that's gonna make you cool?"

"I don't know what to tell you..." Lindsay was seemingly at an impasse, not being able to decide what the right course of action was to take. She eyed me in despair, only to witness me shaking my head and covering my face in frustration.

"You know what, I'm sorry – let's be friends." Kim gave Lindsay a very sarcastic smile, and then proceeded to dump her bag out onto the floor.

"Hey!" I reached out and tried to stop her midway, but I was too late. The contents of Lindsay's bag were spilling onto the green and red-checkered hallway, clattering and making noise as they rolled around at our feet. "Damn it, Kim! Why –"

"There," Kim growled, ignoring how I bent down and began to help Lindsay collect her things. "Now we're friends. See you at the mall."

"What are you, on your period!?" Daniel asked, arms spread wide towards a retreating Kim as he began to lean down and help Lindsay collect her things alongside me.

"Hey, if you wanna hang with your little poser friend and pretend with her, then that's your waste of time," Kim began to storm off, and I nearly took off after her before decided to finish helping Lindsay first. "Just keep her the hell away from me."

"I'm sorry about her." I made a face as soon as the blonde was halfway down the hallway and everyone had chipped in to help Lindsay collect her things. "She can be a huge bitch."

"It's okay," Lindsay muttered and thanked everyone for helping her. I nodded, and then rose as the bell rang.

"And that is exactly why I don't carry a purse," Ken muttered as soon as Lindsay was up and ready to go again.

"Right," I snorted, mood lifting a little as I thought of an insult. "It's cause you keep your tampons in your pockets."

"Oh shut up," Ken huffed, flustered upon realizing that he had no insult to shoot back at me. I could, however, detect a wisp of a smile on his face which released my own grin.

"I've gotta get to shop class," Nick scratched his head awkwardly as he began to back away from the group down the hallway. "It's the only one I can pass. I'm sorry about your stuff, Lindsay."

"Are you really gonna go?" Daniel questioned, looking up at me dubiously as I made a similar excuse. It was often that I ended up skipping periods after my phases of vomiting, acknowledging that the nervousness only got worse throughout the day.

I nodded in confirmation, and Daniel only sighed as he slipped his hands into his pockets.

"Alright, well," He seemed to slip up his words for a moment, but then sighed again. "I'll be out on the patio – come get me if anything happens."

I bit my lip and nodded along with Nick, knowing that by this he was basically telling both him and I – most likely Nick in case 'anything happened' (that being me vomiting) – to go and get him so that he could help. Daniel had always been the best at helping with my panic attacks and the most comforting, but a close second up was Kim. I didn't know why, especially considering all five of us had been a tight knit community of friends since we were little, but perhaps it was Daniel's slight accent or the soothing tone that his voice took when he dropped it several octaves into a more calming husky baritone.

"Hey, were you okay at lunch?" Nick turned to me as soon as we were out of earshot of Daniel and Lindsay, a slight frown marring his face. "You're still kinda pale – did you eat anything?"

"I'm always pale," I snorted in good humor, grinning slightly. The truth was that my throat still hurt and the only cigarette I had smoked hadn't really helped with anything except for my nausea and calming my poor nerves. "I'm fine – don't worry about me."

I spoke the words without a trace of hesitation or wavering, even though I knew – and I was pretty sure that all my friends did, too – that I was most certainly not 'fine'.

"I'm always fine."


	3. Chapter 2 - Beers and Weirs

**Beers and Weirs**

****Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.****

"KATHERINE JANE WELSH!"

I hadn't realized the extreme mobility of the human body until my mother had begun to yell me to consciousness in the mornings whilst curing her hangover with more drink. My torso basically folded in two as I jolted out of bed in shock, giving myself a head rush when I went to get up and dressed as fast as possible. If my mother was already drinking away her headache that meant that Rick was doing the same thing, and his intoxication was substantially worse than hers. The man was always ready to chuck me out the door in the mornings if he wasn't in the mood to chase me out of the house himself in one of his drunken early rages, meaning that I needed to act as fast as possible to avoid his clutches.

I cursed the paper thin walls of our house as my mother began to yell again, something about the welfare check coming in late this month and setting us back yet again. One wouldn't exactly refer to our house as a dump – it was more so a five room broken down shack in a bad part of down that was in desperate need of refurbishing.

Ok...so maybe it _was_ a dump.

I heard my name being called yet again and sighed, beginning my normal morning process. I tried to ignore my mother's excessive screaming while pulling on clothing, but it was hard when she continued to trip over things and make a concerning ruckus. I wearily exited my room with my bag in tow ten minutes later, hoping to get to at least grab a piece of toast before I had to bolt to Daniel's car. He was nice about rides – he always tended to pick Kim and I up on Friday mornings and was generally sweet about giving anyone drives if they needed it.

I thought that I was in the clear after I toasted one piece of bread in the empty kitchen, thinking that perhaps I had gotten lucky and Rick was still passed out in my mother's bedroom, but I nearly jumped a foot in the air when I heard a slam behind me.

It was my livid stepfather, and he was by no means passed out. In fact, he looked absolutely ready to explode.

The bottle of unfinished Gin in his right hand proved that both him and my mother were already drinking this morning, but the bottle of alcohol was not what concerned me the most. His left hand was pointing at me across the table, and my eyes widened reflexively when I realized what this meant. I had gotten past the point of fighting my 'guardians' a long time ago – at this point it was all about avoiding them and their abusive behaviors.

The first time I had tried to resist Rick I had gotten a black eye and a broken wrist; the second time I had almost gotten a concussion. Time after time I had tried to avoid them, only to result in rough injuries. Sometimes I wished that my 'parents' were more like Kim's – and that was saying something considering both of them were verbally abusive. Bringing myself back to the situation at hand, I was glad to see that Rick wasn't stable enough to jump across the table to get me – instead he tried to circle around quickly in his drunken state, something that clearly wasn't easily accomplished.

Making a beeline for the front door as fast as my feet could take me, I managed to avoid his grabs and got out the front door without a scratch. Thankfully Daniel's car was already idling on the street in front of my house, and I began to sprint towards the Trans Am with everything I had.

"Come b-back here!" Rick stumbled out the front door after me, the bottle still in his hand although by now it was empty. "Stop running!"

I merely increased my pace and ran to the other side of the car, jumping in and slamming the door shut before checking behind me that Rick hadn't managed to catch up. Daniel took off as soon as I was in safely, jaw clenched and eyes on fire.

"Jesus!" Kim glanced incredulously back at a very angry Rick stumbling behind the Trans Am as we pulled away in a hurry. "What the fuck was that!? Was that your stepdad again!?"

"He's a fucking animal," I growled through clenched teeth, beginning to lace up my boots with fingers trembling so hard I could barely grasp the laces properly. My body shaking with anger and adrenaline, furious with the incident that had occurred and my inability to do anything about the situation.

I hated my house, I hated my mother, and I hated her stupid boyfriend and the stupid empty bottles of alcohol that littered the floors when I walked in through the front door. I hated the fact that I was frightened to leave my room in the morning, and that I couldn't get a chance to even make toast or brush my teeth in peace unless both of my 'parents' were passed out cold.

Both Kim and Daniel were quiet for a long while, but I could feel their eyes on me as I rang my trembling fingers through my long black hair. I bit my lip and forced myself not to cry, even though I could feel a lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes. I vaguely heard Kim ask if I had eaten anything, and thanked the heavens that I had such valuable friends as these.

"Yes," I muttered, my voice unsteady as I picked at my nails and refused to look Kim in the eye.

"What did you eat?" Kim pried as I tried to focus on not letting my tears escape.

"Toast." I replied simply, begging the skies that she would not inquire any further.

"How many pieces did you have?"

I sighed as soon as the question left her lips, not wanting to answer her. My friends were always concerned about the amount of food that I ate – always trying to make sure that I got some nutrients in me when they were around. This made it harder to deny my body food sometimes – they noticed my lack of interest in eating for reasons of confidence as well as my nervous stomach and only tried to get me to eat more.

"One."

With a screech of tires, Daniel took a hard left and stopped at a convenience store. Before Kim and I could even ask what he was doing the boy was exiting the car and bolting into the store, emerging minutes later with a small carton of milk and two granola bars.

It didn't take a fool to assume that this was all he was able to afford, and I felt my heart clench at the gesture.

"Drink," He gently handed the items to me before sliding back into the driver's seat. "Eat."

"Daniel..." I looked down at the food in my lap uncertainly, heaving a shaky sigh.

It was difficult to ignore Kim's calm hand on my knee – she had shifted into the backseat with me for obvious reasons to provide comfort and security and was now gazing at me with her deep blue eyes again as Daniel started the engine up. When the car pulled out of the convenience store parking lot and I still hadn't made a move to begin eating, I knew they were going to start pushing.

"Please Katherine," I caught Daniel's eyes in the review mirror, the brown basically begging me to listen to him. It was a cruel game, really – he knew that I couldn't deny him when he pleaded that way. "Please."

Under the scrutiny of two sets of eyes, I began to unwrap the bars and bit into one of them, again concentrating on not letting a new wave of tears burst past my eyelids. 

* * *

"No, no. What you've gotta do is look for something in the store that's expensive, but looks really cheap...and then you switch price tags with something that _is _really cheap. "

It was much later in the day around lunch, and Kim was lecturing Daniel, Ken and I on what was basically illegal bargain hunting. I wasn't surprised – Kim's closet was full of clothing that she had stolen or switched price tags on at the store. It was frustrating for me when I tried to use the same tactic however; Kim was fantastic at remaining innocent and stone faced in the presence of suspicion, but I had somehow always radiated guilt. In the end it didn't really matter considering I rarely fit into most regular sizes of clothing. As Kim liked to put it, 'if Katherine turned sideways you could barely tell anyone was standing there'.

"Then you've gotta put the original back on it, and return it for store credit," Kim continued, not adhering to the presence of a recently arrived Nick – who had been looking rather down this whole week on account of John Bonham's death five days ago – and Lindsay on the patio as her back was turned. "That's how I got this jacket – ten bucks, this thing cost me."

"Aw, it's beautiful. Clearly worth all the effort." Ken's voice leaked with sarcasm as Kim proudly opened her blue jacket to show what a prize it was, causing her to snort when she recognized his patronizing tone.

I gave Ken a shoulder bump and a smile from my place beside him, rolling my eyes to indicate that we were all capable of acknowledging when he disapproved of an action. Lindsay had seemingly caught onto what we were talking about, and began to explain how her father had caught a shoplifter once and decided to lock him in the store until the police came to pick him up. At this, most of us looked up at her dubiously, wondering if this was the end of the story, and she quickly had to make it up by mentioning that shoplifters 'costed her dad a fortune'.

I took out a cigarette and my lighter as Ken gave me a weird face that more or less wordlessly said 'isn't that the point of shoplifting?', deciding that now that both Lindsay and Kim were here there was going to be a fair amount of drama. The girls' relationship hadn't gotten any better after the bag incident, and I was surprised that Kim hadn't said anything to the brunette yet.

"Hey if I owned your store and I caught some little kid shoplifting I'd just take him out back and deal with it," Daniel punched the palm of his hand, and I could almost guess that there was a heavy set grin on his face from my place behind him on the bleachers.

"Oh, would you Mr. Tough Man?" Kim questioned sarcastically, and I did a double take when I recognized the venom in her voice. Where was this coming from? Had they broken up between this morning and lunch? Why had she been in the car this morning at all?

"Yeah I would Mrs. Tough Man," Daniel retorted haughtily, playing along with her little game.

"Oh yeah," Kim reverted to old tactics, bringing up scenarios that were no longer relevant. "Like that time when John Ergner kicked your ass? Like that?"

"Do you mind flapping your lips somewhere else?" Daniel waved his hand and ignored the jab, not even making eye contact with our blonde friend. It was at this point that it was fair to assume that the two had fought during the first two periods of school, and I rolled my eyes once more. "You smell."

"Hey, what – did you guys break up or something?" Nick questioned from his place beside Lindsay, still standing in front of the four of us sitting on the bleachers against the wall of the patio.

"No, we didn't break up," Kim smirked up at our friend with an evil glint in her eyes, reminding me of just how mean she could be. It was a strange concept that to me she was like a mother – a big hearted girl who always made sure I was alright and cared for. "I dumped his loser ass during second period."

"Oh, is that what happened?" Daniel shot back as he shook his head in disbelief, sarcasm leaking through his words. "Ok – if it makes you feel better."

At that Kim seemingly gave up, and Daniel leaned back onto my legs with a huff. Absentmindedly I took a long drag of my cigarette and ran a hand through his hair, feeling the muscles in his shoulders relax as soon as I performed the action. In a way, massages were how I paid Daniel back in terms of calmness and relaxation; he provided me with security during panic attacks, and I offered him a de-stresser when he was all wound up over Kim. I knew Kim would never take any advances I made on the boy as threatening, considering the fact that we had all been friends since such a young age and no matter what status their relationship at was they always cared for me as a duo, but I knew that eventually Daniel was going to have to get out of this toxic relationship.

"Does anybody want to come see The Wall with me on Saturday night?" Nick interrupted my thought process with an oddly timed question. "I thought I might try and experiment, y'know? See it straight once."

"Don't do it," Ken blurted suddenly, shaking his head towards his friend at the mention of the band. I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not, and at this point I didn't care nor did I think it mattered – with Ken you needed to let a lot of things slide. "You'll regret it man, trust me."

"Well I would," Lindsay looked up at the tall boy standing beside her. "But my parents are going out of town, and I have to watch my little brother."

"Hey!" Daniel pointed two fingers at Lindsay, and I could almost sense what was coming next. As soon as any of us had an empty house for a night or two there was an immediate call for a get together, or just a plain out of control party. "Maybe we could all hang out at your house!"

"Kegger..." Nick grinned slightly as the gears began to turn in his head, hoping for a party.

"Kegger!" Ken let out a cough as he spat out the word, letting a smile overtake his face as well when he looked up at Lindsay with his brows raised. It seemed that a party was in question, and Lindsay looked like she was feeling rather pressured.

"Y-you mean like a party?" She tried to clarify, eyes darting around and catching mine as I exhaled cigarette smoke from my nose.

"Yeah right," Kim scoffed as her eyes narrowed towards Lindsay, tone snarky. "Lindsay's too lame to let anyone enter her precious little house."

"Why not?" Lindsay shrugged seconds later, finally stepping up to the plate to one up Kim and recognizing the games that she played. "I like parties."

"Who's the lame one now?" Daniel teased Kim, cupping a hand to his ear and watching her grow more and more discomforted by the fact that she had lost.

"Up yours!" She spat, fed up with the situation and choosing to leave the patio in a huff.

"Bye!" Daniel rose a hand sarcastically as she left, ignoring the middle finger she shot him in response. "Bye!"

At this I began to thread my fingers through his hair more intensively, careful not to burn him with the ash from my cigarette as I continued to smoke and used my nails to massage his scalp. Within several moments he had relaxed again, sighing through his nostrils as an indication that his stress level was going down. Several more moments passed of this, until Daniel decided to confirm the party was happening by requesting support funds from the rest of us.

"Ok guys, ten bucks each for the keg." He sat up to collect the money, and gazed at me expectantly. I shot him a look and blew the smoke out of my nose.

"Who says I want to come?" I made a face, winking at Lindsay to let her know that I was messing around. She seemed to understand, and smirked whole heartedly before Daniel turned around and looked at me funny.

"Cut the shit, miss," He shot his famous grin as he began to poke at my stomach, pulling a giggle out of me. "Come on – ten bucks!"

"Cough it up, Kath!" Nick urged with a smile as I reached into my bag and thrust the money into Daniel's hands.

"You guys suck," I scrunched up my face and teased, already looking forward to the evening with friends.

In a sense it was true that I really didn't need to go at all – I didn't drink beer simply because when I drank I drank to get drunk, and I never felt like consuming alcohol for the taste or the relaxation. I regularly stole from my parent's liquor cabinet (in terms of technicality, I was actually helping their addictions) and didn't want to bother with drinking a certain amount of beers until I got drunk when I could do it in a simple few shots and a small can of coke. This was something that both Daniel and Kim disagreed with; they were already concerned about my low weight as it was, and it made them even more upset when I drank heavily and put myself in danger. Nevertheless I continued to do so, favoring my addictions over my safety.

"Let's get to class," Daniel sighed as soon as the lunch bell rang, causing some of the residents of the patio to scatter. Most stayed where they were, which wasn't a surprise since most of the kids who came out here during lunch were labeled 'freaks' who often skipped class. "Come on Welsh, we got English."

I patted his shoulders with a groan and a large sigh of my own, and waited until he got up before taking his sarcastic hand. He held it out along with an exclamation of a sarcastic 'madame', helping me off of the bleachers before letting it go and placing a hand on the small of my back to lead me to the purgatory that was English class. 

* * *

Before I knew it Saturday had rolled around, and Daniel was at my doorstep waiting to drive to Lindsay's for the party – I made sure to clamber out of my bedroom window this time considering both Rick and my mother were home instead of out at some random bar. Lindsay had given everyone the location of her home which was not surprisingly in a fairly nice part of town, but still easy to get to. I now understood her hesitation and attitude when we talked about topics that her folks most likely never breached; there were certain qualities that higher class kids retained even when they tried to blend with us lower class folk. I didn't know Lindsay's true motivations for wanting to become friends with us, but she was nice and I considered her a refreshing addition to our circles.

Of course, none of this was bias considering she was currently throwing a kegger.

Speaking of alcohol, I had my flask tucked neatly away in my army jacket, full of stolen whiskey that I had managed to swipe even though my mother had almost caught me reaching into the cabinet twice this afternoon. The situation would have been comical if it hadn't been so sad; I often played off of my mother and Rick's inebriation to steal from their liquor cabinet considering they were both extremely sloppy drunks, using their altered state of mind to carefully grab whatever alcohol I wanted or was supplying to my friends.

Daniel and I arrived at the party just as his seedy relatives arrived, having brought along several of their friends for the party. This was questionable, considering Lindsay barely knew any of these boys – some of which were a little too old to be going to a teenager's house party – but I shrugged it off and assumed that Daniel had checked with Lindsay first. I recognized several of their faces from a barbecue not so long ago when the weather was warmer, but they tended to gravitate away from me considering the last time they had seen me I had been sporting some nasty welts on my face courtesy of Rick. Their perverted minds had understood that there was some sort of abusive situation going on – and it didn't help that Daniel threatened to murder them if they ever laid hands on any of his girl friends – and they had stayed clear.

Despite this, Daniel didn't stop one of them as they picked Kim up and and slapped her on the butt, carrying her into the house. He simply kept his eyes on me, clenching his jaw as I placed a hand on his arm to ground him. I was surprised that Lindsay had allowed Kim to show up at all, considering how their previous interaction of the day had gone. My best guess was that Kim had forced her way into the home, uncaring of whether or not Lindsay had allowed her inside. Either that, or Lindsay had caved to try and impress my blonde friend.

"Hey Lindsay, sorry I'm late!" I approached my new friend on her doorstep and smiled widely, feeling dizzy after the first few shots that I had taken back in my bedroom. The alcohol hadn't quite embedded itself into my system on the car ride over, but I was just starting to feel the effects. "Thanks for having us."

"N-no problem." Lindsay smiled loosely at me, and I vaguely wondered if she was just nervous or if she already had some alcohol in her system.

Daniel gave her a similar greeting and a hug before we both made our way into the house, having left our jackets in the car. I made a point of tucking my flask into the waistline of my pants, the long sleeved shirt I wore successfully hiding it from wandering eyes. Soon enough I had lost myself in the building crowd of people, and I found myself in the kitchen where I grabbed a unopened can of coke off of the counter and found myself face to face with Mark.

"Hey Kathy," The pot dealer smiled, long curly hair bobbing as he grinned at me and lifted his red solo cup in greeting. "How's my favorite customer doing this fine evening?"

"'Favorite'?" I quoted, grinning as I opened the coke and took out my flask, placing both containers full of substances on the counter. "You say that to all your customers, you suck up."

Time seemed to slow for a moment as I took the first shot out of my flask, quickly masking the bad taste with a swig of coke and remembered the sole reason I held the strong piece of metal between my fingers. The flask had been my father's whilst he had been alive, but the man had overdosed on Oxycontin when I was little, and had only left a few belongings in his stead. To this day I had very little knowledge of who he had been, and I certainly wasn't going to gain any information from my drunken mother. His death haunted me, but I tried my best not to think about it. It was bittersweet moments like these however, that forced my emotions out of the steel ball I kept them hidden in.

"You want me to prove that you're my favorite?" Mark interrupted my thoughts with a creepy grin, and I grimaced before taking another shot of alcohol and not bothering to even acknowledge his perverted offer. Now it was time to forget.

"You know how you can prove it to me?" I challenged, closing my flask and tucking it into my waistline again. I tried to ignore how Mark's eyes followed my fingers. "You can give me some of your best tree, dipshit."

Associating with Mark was the downside of buying pot off of him, but in reality he wasn't such a bad person when you overlooked the sometimes weird comments and remembered how good his product was. No one knew what he did to make the marijuana he grew so potent, but it had made him famous in many neighborhoods of the city.

"Alright, jeez," Mark made a perturbed face and set down his solo cup, reaching into his coat pocket. "How'd you know I'd even have any?"

"I didn't," I burped once and wavered slightly in my speech, getting a sudden head rush as the effects of the strong alcohol began to hit me hard. I was eager to make this exchange and get my drugs before my mind state became too altered, as I knew just how strong the effects of the hard whiskey could be on my small body. "Lucky guess. Gimme three grams."

I thrust out the thirty dollars I had left in my hand towards him, blessing the Wisconsin benefits system for placing me on their welfare program when I had turned eighteen. I was aiming for their disabilities plan considering I had the anxiety condition labeled as nervous vomiting, but the state hadn't granted that yet and I was stuck with a measly five hundred dollars a month. This, unfortunately, was not enough to get me a good enough apartment, but it was enough to start saving until I got a real job.

Mark took the money and quickly measured out three grams, giving it to me in a small plastic baggie and watching as I tucked it away in my jean pocket. I thanked him and grabbed my coke can, disappearing into the sea of familiar faces once more. I passed by Stoker watching Germain teach one of our classmates how to fight, and gravitated towards where Kim and Ken were sitting on opposite ends of Lindsay's couch. As soon as I plopped down in between them I noticed that they were both grimacing at something not too far away, and it was then that my inebriated mind managed to latch onto the fact that someone was both playing the piano and singing.  
It was the religious girl, Millie, and she was singing about Jesus.

I almost spared her an eye roll, but it seemed like Kim was giving her enough for the both of us before she looked at me with a scrunched up face and made a gun with her fingers, shooting herself in the temple. This made me giggle before we both turned back to listen to the church goer, cringing as Nick joined in for the fun of it and the party stopped and started all over again until everyone got over her horrid singing. It took a second to realize that someone was speaking to me, and it wasn't until Ken basically hit me on the shoulder that I noticed he was asking a question.

"Ow!" I slapped his forehead, vision slightly blurry at this point. "Watch it, you animal!"

"What the -" Ken was about to reprimand me for hitting him back until he noticed my flushed face and glassy eyes. "Katherine, are you drunk!?"

"No – nono, absolutely not!" I adamantly denied, not wanting to share any of the alcohol I had arrived with knowing that the minute someone smelt liquor they would be asking for a shot of it. Taking a shot in the kitchen with Mark had been relatively safe since I knew he wasn't a heavy drinker, but I wanted to be secretive about my alcohol intake out in the open with these vultures. As soon I spoke the words however, I knew I had given myself away.

"You're drunk!" Ken pointed a finger at me, leading me to believe that my words were more slurred than I had originally thought. The truth of the matter was that my friends had seen me drunk so many times at this point that it was easy for them to tell when I was under the influence. "But that's impossible – someone replaced the keg with non-alcoholic beer!"

"W-what?" I frowned and tilted my head back, looking at the large metal tub sitting in the middle of the living room. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Ken repeated, and absentmindedly – I blamed this decision soley on my inebriation – lifted up my flask and took another shot of liquor only to wash it down the coke seconds later.

"Goddammit, you're drinking from a – hold on, what's in it?" Ken grabbed my flask from me and took a long slurp before grimacing.

"Hey!" I hit him in the arm before handing him the can of coke in a bout of pity, watching him wash the taste of the hard liquor down with sweet coca cola. "You only get one – last time you finished half of the fucking bottle without my permission."

"Alright, alright." Ken grumbled and nodded in thanks, handing me back my substances and watching me tuck the flask away.

Minutes later he was getting up off of the couch and muttering something about going to find the real keg and playing quarters, but by that point I had taken two more shots and was almost at the bottom of my flask. Whatever music was playing overwhelmed the voices bouncing off of the walls of the house and blending together, causing me to close my eyes for a split second to relish in the confusion and blur.

When I opened them seconds later I vaguely acknowledged that Daniel was standing several feet in front of the couch holding Ken away from one of his relatives, and wondered how the hell an altercation could have occurred in the few seconds that my eyes were closed. It didn't acknowledge until the morning after that I had been so drunk I had fallen asleep for a couple minutes and only woken by the lack of music.

After the incident many went back to drinking and a couple more people trickled through the door, only causing me to become more isolated and prone to finishing whatever alcohol I had brought with me. I worked my way through the rest of my flask, ignoring the couple that came to make out next to me on the couch and instead curling up on one end of the plush sofa. It hadn't occurred to me how comfortable the couch was until the drunken haze settled on me, and I found myself feeling very held down by a weight I couldn't describe. This familiar feeling of drunkenness was well met by the rest of my body, and despite the complaints of my bladder I stayed right where I was until the last drip in my flask had entered my system.

Through my slowly tunneling vision I tried to anticipate the feeling of blacking out, but somehow this night the unconsciousness seemed to creep up on me. I would have been scared if I hadn't known that all of my friends were attending this party too, considering no matter what they always made sure that I would be safe and alright for the night. With that, I allowed my head to rest against the back of the couch and let the inebriation consume me, uncaring of who would find me and take me home as selfish as the thought was.

Everything faded to black just as I heard a prepubescent voice yelling something that sounded alarmingly close to 'police!'. 

* * *

When I woke, it only took seconds to understand that I was in a moving vehicle based on the bumps and rumbles all around me, and the familiar soothing smell of Daniel's car confirmed that my friends had indeed taken care of me. Unfortunately it was not long before I was gagging, my short sleep apparently having allowed my body to try and digest the alcohol I had consumed far too quickly. I gagged once and burped up stomach acid, alerting Daniel – and apparently Kim, as a gasp familiar to hers confirmed – who pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Katherine – you don't look so good," He hopped out of the car as soon as I had sloppily shoved the side door open, but Kim had already beat him to it.

"Of course she doesn't Daniel," My blonde friend sneered, guiding my stumbling form until we were forced to stop on account of my retching. "She's completely wasted."

I felt like a total idiot; my knees reminded me of a newborn calves legs based on the way they refused to coordinate with the rest of my body, and I was struck with the familiar feeling of being totally off balance until I finally began to puke. The horrible feeling of vomit expelling itself out of my throat distracted me, and I could feel two sets of hands on me stopping my body from stumbling forwards as my stomach dumped it's contents all over the side of the road. I could not longer distinguish who's hands were doing what; someone was rubbing my back and holding my hair away from my face whilst the other was keeping a tight hold on me, assuring that I didn't fall into my own puke. I assumed the latter was Daniel, as the grip was warmer and stronger.

"You finished?" Kim's soothing tone was patient and motherly as she allowed me to loll my head onto her shoulder. I nodded softly once, hoping that she had understood my wordless confirmation as my throat was on fire and I was too drunk to formulate words properly.

"Let's get her to bed," I registered Daniel's deep tones in my drunken stupor, but him and Kim's voices seemed to fade in and out and I couldn't seem to keep myself upright.

"I have to pee..." I heard myself slur, but the words sounded all muffled and distorted as though they weren't coming from my own mouth. I didn't register Kim's soft response.

"Daniel – she can't walk," Kim complained as they tried to turn me around, and I was almost drunk enough to whine about them talking about me like I didn't exist when I remembered that this was a usual occurrence.

"Oh man," Suddenly I was being swooped up into Daniel's arms, and my face melted against the warm cloth coating his rumbling chest. Good ol' Daniel. "I got her. How ya feelin', girl?"

I let out another incoherent noise to let him know that I heard him, and it seemed like milliseconds went by until he placed me in the backseat of his Trans Am once more and we were zooming down the road. It took another several seconds to realize that they were talking again, and I tried to lift my head up out of Kim's lap to listen to their words before it was shoved down again by her soft hands that continued to caress my hair.

"Well, where is she gonna stay?" Kim's tone was surprisingly gentle, and I assumed that her and Daniel had made up during Lindsay's party. "Both my parents are home tonight."

"She can stay at my place," Daniel's voice sounded very far away, but I was capable of latching onto the words. "Last time she went to yours she got yelled at – you know we can't let her stay there anymore."

"Yeah." Kim's retort was reluctant, but she knew it was the truth. Kim and I undoubtedly had the worst parents in our friend group, with Ken and Nick coming in at a close second.

It was funny how Daniel, Kim and I's relationship worked. It was like they were some splendid foster parents that I had stumbled upon, taking care of me without a doubt in the world. Even at my worst moments they helped me without questions or judgment, waiting until after the situation was over to try and counsel me out of my bad decisions. I couldn't have asked for more – my friends were taking more care of me than my parents and this was something that I recognized each and every day. Daniel and Kim knew what was wrong; why I drank and why I took drugs. They sympathized with why I smoked and why I had bad anxiety and why I didn't like to stay at my house. Hell, I considered them more family than my real family, who put me in danger each day and couldn't give less of a crap about me.

So, in the dead of night, I allowed my family to carry me home as I faded into blackness once more.

When I woke again, disoriented for the third time that night, the familiar smell of Daniel's room hit me in the nostrils. I had stayed over before many times, in fact too many times to count – most of them being when my parents wouldn't allow me to sleep or my stepfather was threatening to burn my guts – but I could always identify Daniel's room by his familiar scent.

I groggily raised my head, ignoring the uncomfortable nausea still resting in the pit of my stomach and reaching for the glass of water that I knew Daniel always left by his bedside table in these cases. The boy was already snoring beside me, having reflexively wrapped an arm around me that was still resting across my stomach and tightened automatically when I sat up to drink my water. I pried his warm appendage off of my abdomen and tiptoed to the bathroom as quietly as possible to relieve myself, grabbing a pair of Daniel's sweatpants to sleep in as I went. After I had changed myself and used his facilities, I decided a needed a joint and silently crept back into the room, fetching my three grams out of the pocket of my jeans and ventured over to the drawer where I knew Daniel kept his rolling papers.

Pulling out what I needed, I crafted the products into a nicely sized spliff and began to smoke, leaning out the window so the smoke wouldn't clog up Daniel's room. It took ten minutes for the drug to begin to affect my brain, and after finishing the joint I clambered back into the bed with Daniel, much less drunk and a lot comfier.

I was surprised when Daniel let out a huff and wrapped his arm around me again, pulling me closer into his warm embrace and huffing against my shoulder. Usually he slept like a rock, but surprisingly enough he had woken and was apparently miffed about me smoking it up without letting him know.

"You didn't share," He yawned, hot breath fanning over my shoulder as he grumbled and re-positioned himself for sleep once more.

"Oh, shut up," A short breathy laugh escaped my lips before I made myself comfortable once more, eyes drooping shut as the marijuana soothed my system enough to relax me for sleep. "You big lump."

I felt Daniel's smile on my shoulder before he whispered a goodnight, and as soon as the exact same return words left my lips I slipped into the realm of dreams and was lost to my subconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 3 - Tricks and Treats

**Tricks and Treats**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

"Do you like that? Does it getcha hot?"

Amidst the chilly late October air, the last thing our friend group wanted to hear was Daniel play fighting Kim and pretending to strangle her while they made sexual innuendos, and several of us had already rolled our eyes or made disgusted noises when they had started during our lunch break. In the several weeks that had passed the two had broken up and gotten back together three more times, and Lindsay still hadn't gotten used to their tumultuous relationship.

"Would you knock it off? You're making me sick!" Ken grumbled from his spot next to me on the bleachers. He'd been watching them for several minutes, and had seemingly grown tired of their affectionate play. The patio was always like this for us; just an opportunity to fool around in between classes with an audience that wouldn't call the principle, but it was often ruined by Daniel and Kim's excessive flirting or excessive banter.

"Hey, why don't you make out with Nicky there, and we'll call it a foursome?" Daniel grinned back at Ken while Nick just scoffed, banging his drumsticks on the lid of a garbage can.

"Hey, why don't you make out with my butt and we'll call it love?" Ken teased right back, causing me to giggle in between blowing smoke rings. He always had a way about him that allowed him to shrug everything off in the most uncaring and sarcastic fashion; nothing affected Ken – he was our solid unwavering rock of strength.

"Hey, watch out guys – the narc's here," Kim narrowed her eyes at the oncoming Lindsay Weir, who clearly didn't know what was about to hit her.

"Yeah," Lindsay played along, shrugging her shoulders as she breached our circle. "Watch out or I'll bust ya!"

"Hey man – I'm not joking," Kim piped up again, and I rolled my eyes once more as I recognized that she was about to play a joke on Lindsay. "I heard about what you did to Brian Stroker; saw him smoking a 'j' outside the Quick Fill and went inside and told some cops? Brian's in prison now and I heard his brother's lookin' for you."

"What?" Lindsay looked shell shocked for a moment, staring at Kim as though she had grown a second head. "I didn't do that."

"Yeah," Kim burst out laughing after a moment, causing Lindsay to reel back in surprise and confusion. "I know! I was just messing with you!"

At this, Lindsay frowned and walked past Kim to go stand near Ken and I, Nick trailing closely behind her and trying to apologize on Kim's behalf.

"She got me with the same joke last week," He laughed, eyes red from the pot he had been smoking earlier during the lunch break. "It's kinda funny, though."

"Hilarious," Lindsay's tone was completely dry as she glared towards Kim, who was fully immersed in a conversation with Daniel once more.

"So, what are you doing for Halloween?" Nick tried to change the subject, not wanting any more drama between the two girls. I almost felt like patting him on the head for such a smart move; it was easy to keep people distracted if you knew how to turn a conversation around, and Nick had an endless supply of useless conversation starters.

"Oh, I have to hand out candy with my mom," Lindsay smiled up at him, then laughed to herself. "I know it sounds dorky – she just gets really into it."

"Oh Lindsay, I don't think it's dorky at all." Kim snorted teasingly, causing me to shoot her a look. There was no need for her to be a bitch, and her act was getting tiring. The fact that Daniel was letting it slide didn't sit well with me, but I left the situation well alone as I recognized that the two could make their own decisions. I was merely disappointed.

"Hey, at least she's being nice!" Nick turned on Kim, scoffing irritably. "Just because you hate your mom doesn't mean everybody else does, okay?"

"I do. Me – right here. I hate my mother." I raised my hand sarcastically and drawled, holding my still burning cigarette in between my fingers.

"Come on, everybody hates their mom." Daniel grinned while Nick tried to ignore my comment, waving a hand in my face. I was starting to have a sneaking suspicion that he was developing the slightest crush on Lindsay and smiled secretly at the pair, causing Ken to frown curiously towards me.

"Well, what are you guys doing for Halloween?" Lindsay looked around at us in curiosity.

"Oh well Kim, Nick, Katherine and I are going out – borrowin' my uncle's big ass 'caddy…and we thought maybe you'd like to come with us?" Daniel looked slightly hesitant as he spoke – he hadn't notified everyone about this news; that 'everyone' being me.

I didn't really mind since it didn't really matter that Lindsay was coming with us – it made things less awkward if there were three people to watch Daniel and Kim make out instead of two. And Lindsay seemed like a pretty cool girl – she had once helped me with some homework in algebra class that had ended up saving my ass in the long run so I was alright with her coming along.

"Oh, you mean l-like a double date?" Lindsay asked timidly, obviously having missed the fact that I was coming along at all.

Ken scoffed from beside me, causing me to hit him in the shoulder before snuffing out my cigarette. I debated whether or not to light another one as I realized I was standing in between Lindsay and Kim once more, which basically assured that I was in for more drama.

"If that's what you need to call it in your diary," Kim teased once more, confirming my assumptions. "Princess."

I gave her a harsh glare at that, causing her to shoot me a 'what?' expression in

"I can't," Lindsay ignored Kim's jab and faced Nick with a dejected expression, seemingly disappointed while Nick shrugged it off. "I'm sorry."

"Your loss," Kim piped up to my surprise, and I rose my brow at her while she shrugged at me as if to say 'what?'.

It was nice to see someone who valued family time – with an actually functioning family – over throwing eggs at children, destroying pumpkins and denting mailboxes with a baseball bat all night. I would have killed to have a family to hand out candy with, but ruining people's mail receptacles would have to suffice to drown out my feelings for a night.

The bell rang suddenly, jolting me out of my train of thought and causing me to gaze tiredly towards Ken.

"History." We both groaned at the same time. 

* * *

Halloween arrived at an alarming rate, reminding me once more of how much I hated the concept of time and how fast it passed by. The older I got the less time I seemed to have in the world and the more pressure seemed to be pressed down on me. It was uniquely frustrating and fascinating at the same time to watch other kids my age in school complete their homework on time and fill out college applications while I stayed behind in several courses, having been held back for incompletion. In a sense it was as if I was living a second life through my eyes and watching the people I was supposed to be get on with their lives when I couldn't budge, bringing me a specific sort of stress. I had been left behind due to my own failures, and this made me not want to even try anymore.

I willed myself to forget about these problems on Halloween night however, because when Daniel stopped in front of the Weir household with Kim, Nick and I in tow I assumed that there had been a change in plans. He honked the horn twice and no one protested his actions, leading me to believe that once again no one had bothered to notify me that Lindsay was indeed coming on our little night out. Once more, this concept didn't really bother me considering I liked Lindsay – if anything it was Kim who had the problem with the brunette.

I found myself suddenly wondering about Lindsay's home life as I watched her dart out of the front door of the quaint little house, yelling goodbye to someone on the other side who we couldn't hear yelling back. She was visibly excited, sporting a smile on her face that happily showed off her straight pearly whites.

"Come on, Lindsay!" Daniel called, starting up the engine again as she ran across the street. She slid into the car and with a squeal of tires, we were off.

The sweet sound of April Wine's 'Roller' filled the vehicle as my friend sped up the vehicle, and as I would have guessed the minute we hit a long open road Kim leaned out of the window of her seat and began to yell incessantly. I didn't know what it was with her and cars – she had a certain affinity for going fast, and this matched well with Daniel who loved to drive fast in the right scenario.

"Don't fall out!" The boy in question tucked his hand into her jean pocket to hold her inside the car, and Kim laughed manically before swatting it away and plopping back in her seat.

This caused Lindsay to give me a very uncertain glance from her place on the other side of Nick, and I merely gave her a warm smile before lighting up my cigarette. Again, the discomfort around Kim and Daniel was something she was going to have to get used to if she wanted to stay in our friend group. There was no getting in between them, and it was a better idea to just wait until they tired themselves out with the crazy antics.

"She's a roller…a high roller baby!" Kim began to sing along to the radio, turning up the knob so much that the car was shaking with the sheer volume.

"Would you knock it off, blondie?" Daniel dialed the music back down. "You're gonna blow the speakers."

"Oh I'm sorry, Grandpa," Kim fixed Daniel with one of her snarkiest looks. "I'll try not blow anything of yours from now on."

I let a snort escape me at this, not expecting the sexual joke, and found myself laughing uncontrollably. This, in turn, made Kim laugh just as hard, and we let our cackles overtake all other noise in the car for a good twenty seconds while Daniel pouted. I wasn't paying attention to how close my hands were to the front seat however, which apparently was too close for the driver's comfort.

"Watch it, Welsh! Don't burn anything!" Daniel snapped, trying to swat my hands away from the leather seats.

"Don't get your panties in a wad Desario," I grinned darkly. "Your uncle Gary's precious car'll be fine."

"Hey, so what do you guys wanna do?" Lindsay interrupted, not having received the memo on how our Halloweens usually functioned. "There's this haunted house that could be kinda scary."

"Yeah, y'know?" Nick agreed with her, confirming my suspicions that at this point he had definitely developed a crush on the brunette. "That could be kinda fun, no?"

"For who?" Kim scoffed from the front seat, tapping her fingers against the side of the car. "Losers?"

"Hey – shut up! I like haunted houses." DanieI wore a very suspicious smirk on his face when he spoke these words, leading me to believe that he was just being sarcastic – either that or he was just siding against Kim to make Lindsay feel better.

"I rest my case," Kim rolled her eyes with a grin and pointed towards her boyfriend, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Hey, listen. Let's just drive around and see where the night takes us," Daniel explained, comment directed towards the newest addition. "Is that cool with you? Lindsay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah! I'm up for anything!" Lindsay evidently was a little put out by Kim's comment, but quickly recovered and was now smiling once more.

"Right on, kid." Daniel shot her a grin from the driver's seat and stopped at a red light, quickly changing radio channels so that 'Gonna Raise Hell' by Cheap Trick was now playing.

I blew my smoke out the window and listened to Nick and Lindsay getting along perfectly, nearly gagging until I decided to tease them a bit.

"You two are _adorable_," I took another inhale, eyeing Lindsay's definitely non-platonic smile and watching as Nick rolled his eyes. It was in my nature to tease in this manner, and I was happy that Nick had found someone after the last cluster fuck of a relationship, so I hoped that this scenario would turn out better for him.

In a very sudden turn of conversation, the car was suddenly filled with conversations about the origins of Halloween and how many families really didn't understand it's devilish roots. The holiday was rooted in Satanism and the day of the dead, honoring one night of the year when spirits could walk amongst the living. Daniel and Lindsay were by far the two most excited in the car, avidly continuing the conversation until the rest of us were bored out of our skulls.

"Well, think about it," Daniel began to explain once more what was so wrong about the idea of Halloween. "All of the people in this town are _real _religious, but just 'cause it's Halloween they'll hang pictures of devils, witches, ghosts all over their houses. It's a joke!"

"Yeah!" Lindsay agreed, nodding passionately. "Yeah, I know, it's total white middle class hypocrisy."

Everyone in the car including myself tried to understand what she was talking about as we nodded our heads dumbly and pretended to catch on. It was sort of sad that we had no idea what she was going on about, but I comforted myself on the fact that Lindsay was above average and that it was most likely we were not the only ones that didn't know what she was talking about.

"You wanna know what I think about it?" Kim suddenly turned around in her seat and interrupted the conversation, opening her mouth to let out a large burp.

"Lovely, Kim!" I erupted into giggles again at her awful manners, glad that I was sitting beside the window so that I could let the puffs of my cigarette out. "You know, your years in charm school have really paid off!"

"Oh, yeah?" Kim grinned at me in return, eyeing shining. "How are things going at ass school?"

"Gettin' all A's," I smiled and inhaled my nicotine again, reveling in the chorus of laughs that followed my pun. It was a nice feeling to know that I could make my friends happy, even in periods of time where their own lives weren't so happy.

"Hey! You know where we could go?" Lindsay piped up again, causing Kim to roll her eyes and me to perk up in curiosity. "We could go to the movies! There's a new Friday the 13th playing."

"God, brain! Why are you so hung up about doing something?" Kim flipped around in her seat once more to give Lindsay an irritable glare. "Are we boring to you?"

"Hey, no! She's right!" Nick defended the brunette once more, causing a sneaky smile to cross my face. "We can't just drive around all night."

"It's Halloween – we're not just gonna drive around! We are…" Daniel turned up the radio in the middle of the chorus of the song. "Gonna raise hell!"

It wasn't long before everyone else started singing along besides poor Lindsay, and I avoided her exasperated facial expression. I knew that she was beginning to have enough of Kim – her weeks of trying to actually become somewhat of a friend to her weren't amounting to anything and she was most likely not going to last based on the fact that it was totally obvious she had a slight crush on Daniel. Nevertheless I hoped that she survived, as she wasn't necessarily a bad addition to the group and her ideas weren't half horrible, although I was dead set on smashing pumpkins this year considering last year Daniel had only let me smash one set on account of my inebriation.

Eventually we stopped to allow Kim to apply her eyeliner, Daniel declared that it was time to start kicking in some pumpkins. The houses on either side of us had fully carved and decorated pumpkins ripe for smashing, and considering that it wasn't too harmful – we weren't hurting anyone per se, just ruining their decorations – it was a great way to entertain ourselves. There was a bit of arguing as to who got to do it (Daniel kept shutting me down and telling me that I got too carried away) and until Kim tossed in the idea that Lindsay should perform the task it was unanimously decided that Nick would go in her place.

"Hey relax – it's Halloween," I assured a very nervous looking Lindsay, who shot me a bashful smile. "We're supposed to do this stuff."

With a large swinging kick, Nick's shoe firmly planted itself in the face of the happy carved pumpkin and utterly destroyed it. Before the owners could detect what had happened he was already sprinting back towards the car and jumping over me, making Daniel pull away in a hurry. It took a couple seconds for Lindsay to react over our laughter, and she eyed Nick in disbelief.

"I can't believe we just did that!" She exclaimed in shock, brown eyes sparkling with mischief just like Daniel's did when he was up to no good. I briefly wondered if my green ones ever did the same.

"Don't worry about it – they'll be back next year," I lit up another cigarette and listened to Daniel scoff. "And we'll smash 'em again."

"You keep smoking like that Welsh," He piped up, notifying Kim that I was having another cigarette. She tended to be the harsher critic of my smoking habit. "Your lungs'll turn black before you get pregnant."

"You've had like five today Kath," Kim reprimanded me, tutting as she would have done to a child. "'Cutting down' my ass."

"Oh zip it – both of you," I waved them off. "And I only had one yesterday Kim – so I get extra."

"Still doesn't count," She grumbled as Nick snorted at my faulty logic, disappointed that she hadn't stopped me sooner.

My friends were not only involved in efforts to help me with my eating habits and anxiety, but my smoking habits as well. Out of all of the friend group I was the one that smoked the most, Daniel coming in close second and Nick in third place with his pot addiction. So Kim tended to gravitate towards letting me know when I was having one too many cigarettes, although I tried to argue as best I could half the time despite her efforts having grown more rigorous over the last several months.

"Waittaminute," I suddenly spotted a fine grouping of three organized pumpkins in front of a neat little blue home, ripe for squishing and causing me to disregard whatever conversation was going on. "Stop the car."

"What?" Daniel shot back, confused as to why.

"Just stop the car!" I complained, and Daniel slowed the vehicle only to give me a strange look. He started complaining when he followed my eyesight to find the grouping of three freshly carved pumpkins, and Kim began to laugh and clap in glee as she realized what was going to happen.

"Oh come on, Kath!" He whined, realizing what I was going to do. I had a slight tendency to get carried away with destroying pumpkins, as every year I relished in the chance to take my anger out in a controlled fashion on innocent vegetables and sometimes found myself unaware of just how intense I was with the activity. "Not like last year!"

"Hey, shut up!" I pointed an accusing finger at him, walking backwards towards the home. "And I get two stops this time, or I'm telling your uncle it was you that was smokin' in the car!"

Ignoring whatever crap Daniel was giving me in return, I trapped the cigarette in between my lips and vowed that I wouldn't get chased away from the home owners like last Halloween. I chose to take each pumpkin one by one and raise it over my head before throwing them down onto the owner's lawn as hard as I could, eyes lighting up at the sight of their orange forms splitting into many pieces. When all three were laying in bits across the lawn I took my time and squished the parts down into the ground, my black converse now sporting flecks of orange on them as well.

"There – happy, you psycho?" Daniel teased after I had darted back into the car and taken off just in time for the front door of the home to open.

"Almost!" I grinned, finishing my cigarette and throwing the butt out the window. "I get another, remember?"

Daniel groaned comically and the night went on, with me happily watching the rest of my friends go and kick pumpkins in to their heart's delight after receiving my own second turn. Kim, Daniel and Nick all got more rounds, and Lindsay even went so far as to bring a pumpkin back into the car with her when it was her turn. Her happy-go-lucky carved vegetable stayed with us for a good couple minutes until it started to smell, at which point it was thrown out the window and we continued on our merry way. After several more clusters of pumpkins were destroyed we started to get bored, and Daniel declared our next activity had begun.

Nick pulled the baseball bat out of the trunk, frightening poor Lindsay at first who believed that we were going to be doing some kind of mugging. I quickly assured her that it was only knocking down mailboxes – sort of like jousting – and she visibly relaxed. It wasn't until Daniel drove near the first row of houses that Nick decided to go first, and with a 'batter's up, baby!' he smashed the first mailbox that we crossed. The whole car cheered and urged Lindsay to go next now that she saw how it was done, and the brunette took the next mail receptacle completely off of it's post.

"There you go, sweets!" I clapped for her, a grin lighting up my face as I pulled out another cigarette. "Alright – my turn. And I get to go twice since a certain someone," I poked Daniel in the back of the head, making him smile. "Only let me swing once last year."

"You would have fallen out of the car!" Daniel complained, and I rolled my eyes as Nick agreed with him whole heartedly. "You keep forgetting how drunk you were."

"Yeah, yeah – whatever!" I grabbed the bat out of Lindsay's hands and switched places with her, leaning out of the car window with my unlit cigarette resting calmly between my lips as I zeroed in on the next mailbox coming our way.

In the split second before I swung towards the blue box, I distinctly remembered the desire I had for a normal family to spend my Halloween with and hand out candy alongside. Yet, as the mailbox went clattering to the ground with a satisfying metallic clang I couldn't help but feel satisfied with the way my holidays were turning out with my real family. There was no denying that this was fun, and after so many years of doing it with the same crowd I felt more like my friends and I were merely proceeding with traditions rather than causing a ruckus.

"New personal record!" I shouted, looking towards the next red mailbox that Daniel was going to drive by. "I'm about to beat yours, Nick!"

There was laughter from inside before Kim started to cheer, and I yelped proudly as the next mailbox was also taken right off of it's hinges. This time it landed neatly next to it's post, and I whooped in preparation for the next yellow box as I swung as hard as I could.

"That's right!" I lifted a spare hand in the air as it also fell to the ground with a nice clunk, finally dropping back into my seat with a triumphant grin. "Three in a row, motherfuckers – you try and beat that, blondie!"

I passed off the bat to Kim and accepted high fives from my friends, winking once more at Lindsay to comfort her as I lit my cigarette. It only took a few more mailboxes for us to get bored once more, Kim not having been able to beat my score and only knocking down one mailbox. Daniel also had a turn whilst I drove the car, caving into my whining about I hadn't gotten to drive the Cadillac since three Halloweens ago. Eventually when Daniel was back in the driver's seat and we had ruined enough mail receptacles to satisfy our desires, I finally pulled out the eggs that Kim had reminded me to swipe from home the night before.

"Here we go..." I reluctantly handed out the small white ovals to Kim and Lindsay, who coughed slightly even when I tried to exhale my cancerous smoke away from her face. "And don't aim for their heads, Kim! Remember when that mom started chasing us down?"

"I got it!" My blonde friend sang as she took another egg from me and started to lean out the window alongside Lindsay. "Don't worry!"

The two took a minute to situate themselves and find a group to throw the eggs at, the usual targets being upper class little boys that looked like they needed to be taken down a good couple notches. Usually we aimed for groups that didn't contain adults, knowing the consequences of the parents being capable of remembering license plates and nabbing us – or whoever's car we were driving – for disturbing the neighborhood.

"There! Ready!?" Kim's sudden cry signaled that the dairy products were about to be catapulted towards some innocent victims, and the rest of us in the car watched with gleeful faces as a group of four geeky looking boys ducked down to avoid the attack.

Only one of them ended up being pelted with the eggs, dressed in a robot costume that seemed a little too young for his age. The group couldn't have been less than thirteen or fourteen years old, although their immature nature – trick or treating past the seventh grade was really pushing it and basically putting a target on your own back – made me feel a little less worse as Daniel pulled the car away. I tried to ignore the twinge of guilt that I usually got on these missions, convincing myself that as long as I wasn't the one throwing the eggs it didn't matter.

"Oh my god!" Lindsay's sudden panicked tone silenced everyone's laughter, and we all stared at her in confusion.

"What?" Nick looked back towards the kids as well, frowning as he tried to decipher what was wrong.

"We just egged my little brother!" Horror coated the brunette's face, and she immediately began begging Daniel to stop the car so that she could tend to her sibling. "Let me out of the car!"

I tried to ignore the way everyone but me and Lindsay were giggling into their palms, not finding what was so funny about this situation whatsoever. Smashing in pumpkins and ruining mailboxes was one thing, but purposely hurting other people by hurling eggs at them was something I didn't agree with 100%.

"Daniel, stop the car, alright!?" Nick tried to tell his friend, a confidence that didn't usually appear coming to life all of a sudden. "Just stop the car! Let her out."

"It's just eggs – he'll be fine," Daniel tried to assure, looked back at Lindsay from the review mirror. "Take it easy."

His dark brown eyes suddenly caught mine, and I shook my head slightly as to communicate that he needed to listen to the girl. This visibly caused him to reconsider, and he sighed once before putting the car in reverse.

"Don't get out," Daniel ordered everyone. "We'll go get him."

"Sam!?" Lindsay called as soon as the car was closer to the cluster of boys. Everyone but the boy who the eggs had descended upon scattered, clearly fearful of another attack. "Sam! I'm so sorry!"

As soon as the car had pulled up alongside the boy on the sidewalk, I immediately felt the guilt inside me increase by a good thirty percent. The poor boy had egg all over his face, and was looking towards Lindsay, who was now leaning out of the window of the car, with a very dejected expression. Three out of the five of the people in the car began to beg with the boy, not wanting Sam to blame Lindsay for our influence on her.

"I'm sorry Sam," Lindsay's voice cracked, and I stayed silent as the situation seemed to grow worse. "Come on, get in the car."

Sam began to walk, and Daniel continued to follow him along the sidewalk in reverse so that they could keep talking to him. This made me slightly nervous, as Daniel wasn't the best reverse driver and often bumped into things.

"Please?" His sister tried once more as he continued to ignore her advances. "Come on. Let us give you a ride home, ok?"

"Kid," Daniel tried once it was clear that Lindsay's attempts weren't getting through to the boy. "It's not your sister's fault. She didn't even know it was you."

"Look," Nick butted in once Sam had stopped once more and fixed the vehicle with a betrayed look coating his features. "She's really, really upset kid. I swear to god."

"It's true Sam!" Lindsay's voice cracked again, and I could swear that she was going to cry if it weren't for all four of us surrounding her. Kim and I still hadn't said a word, and I continued to smoke my cigarette silently whilst ashing out the window. "I swear to god."

But Sam wouldn't listen, instead beginning to sprint away from the car and cut across lawns until he disappeared in between houses.

"Sam...SAM!" His sister called after him to no avail, then slammed her hand down in frustration against the exterior of the car. "Man, I am in so much trouble – just take me home."

This made me rather surprised, as I hadn't seen such affection for siblings in a long time. Kim and Daniel were the only ones out of our friend group with siblings, and since Chip was slightly retarded and Daniel's brother was a drug addict we didn't talk about either of them very often. Lindsay seemed rather concerned about her sibling and his reaction in the family, anxiety basically rolling off of her in waves.

"Why don't you just stick around –" Nick tried to convince the brunette, only to be interrupted by a very impatient Kim.

"Just take her home already, god!" The blonde complained, rubbing her forehead in frustration. "I told you she'd be a drag."

"She wasn't a drag, Kim!" I piped up, exhaling the cigarette smoke out of my nose and making eye contact with Daniel, who basically begged me with his big brown eyes not to initiate anything with Kim. "She just made a mistake."

Kim didn't respond.

The car ride was silent all the way back to Lindsay's home, and none of us talked until she had left the vehicle without a word. Nick had given up trying to convince her to stay, understanding that at the moment family was more important. As soon as we had made sure she was safely inside the house Daniel pulled away, driving back towards the richest neighborhoods in the city so that we could resume smashing mailboxes. Egging seemed to be off the table for the night, which made my mood a little bit better.

Nick seemed slightly disheartened at the fact that Lindsay had gone home, but after he smashed in a couple more mailboxes he was right back to normal and when darkness finally fell we broke out a joint and shared it between us four. The scent filled the car as we hot boxed the vehicle, stopped beside a random park that boasted no visitors. With the marijuana heavily influencing our minds we pulled into a burger joint and ordered some food, Kim having promised me that she wouldn't nag me over a cigarette if I shared some fries with her. I reluctantly agreed.

"I think," Nick drawled as we sad on the hood of Daniel's car in the parking lot minutes later, munching heartily on our food. "That Reagan is the best…thing – yeah, thing, to ever happen to us."

"He hasn't even been elected yet, stupid." Daniel shook his head and grinned, taking another bite of his hamburger.

"This is the life," Kim leaned back next to me on the window shield and allowed me to rest my head on her shoulder, watching the stars as they shone brightly above us. "I couldn't have wished for a better Halloween than this."

As I listened to Nick and Daniel argue over whether or not Led Zeppelin could hire a better drummer after John Bonham and whether or not they would continue successfully as a band, I couldn't help but make the connection that the stars were like my friends – twinkling lights surrounded by never-ending, scary darkness. They protected me and showed me the light in situations where I believed there to be no hope left, and this meant that they would be forever more valuable than any family I had ever had. They were everything to me; kept me from drowning in the sea that was life and allowed me to find a renewed purpose of living.

"Yeah." I smiled at this, munching on a solitary fry in between drags of my cigarette. "It is the life."


	5. Chapter 4 - Kim Kelly Is My Friend

**Kim Kelly Is My Friend**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

It was completely fine, utterly normal morning in Chippewa, Michigan besides the fact that my cheek was sporting a welt that would rival some of the highest ranking boxing fighters in the world's bruises.

This morning Rick had gotten particularly upset over my usage of the bathroom before him, and landed a slap on my face that was still stinging miserably. I had done my best to cover it with makeup and succeeded, thanking the heavens that there was no way to detect the injury besides some slight swelling in the area. My face still ached whenever I spoke or yawned, and I tried to limit the amount of words that I had spoken to avoid feeling any more horrid pain. I had considered the possibility of buying cheap pain medication off of one of Mark's associates, but decided that I didn't want to make the trip downtown and would instead try to make it through the day without substances to calm the damage on my face.

When I had arrived at school none of my friends had been the wiser, although I was nervous that someone would have spotted the slight swelling. To avoid this, I took my long black hair out of the ponytail that it was held in and allowed it to fall around my face, shielding the side that was sporting the bruise. Daniel and Nick continued to talk normally as we leaned against the lockers near mine, not having made any comment to me besides to utter a good morning. This caused me to lose interest in the conversation, instead opening my own locker to collect the books I needed for the first two periods of class.

"Your hair looks nice today, Kitty-kat," Daniel suddenly broke out of the conversation with Nick, using my very old nickname that our friend group had formulated a while back. Kim had always preferred to call me 'Kit-kat' after her favorite chocolate snack, whilst Daniel preferred 'Kitty-kat'. Nick and Ken often leaned towards the former as well, although I was called a variety of both from everybody.

"Thank you," I smiled at him strangely as I shut my locker door, not used to him dishing out compliments so easily without them being backhanded.

He nodded and smiled once before resuming his conversation with Nick, this time beginning to speak about how his car needed repairs again. He was quickly distracted by Millie walking by carrying a box of doughnuts seconds later, and he reached out behind me to grab one leaving my self very disorientated as I hadn't seen the churchgoer coming.

"Hey!" Millie glared towards Daniel, holding the box away from him. "Those are for my French class!"

"Oh, but I love sprinkles!" He gave her a helpless face as he bit into his doughnut, causing Millie to roll her eyes.

"Fine," She growled, knowing fully well that once this boy took something he rarely gave it back. And I didn't think Millie wanted her now spit-covered doughnut back. "Just eat it."

"I'm really hungry too," Nick pleaded with the mathlete, placing his hands together in a prayer-like fashion. "Please?"

"Just take the plain one, okay?" Millie sighed as Nick grabbed one of the sweet treats himself, hanging it on his drumstick and beginning to eat it like a shishkebab.

"Oh, thank you!" He munched on the newly acquired treat happily.

The girl said nothing to me, and I remembered the time that I had threatened to beat her up last year if she didn't let me copy her English homework before report card day, having been panicked that I was going to fail. She surely hadn't forgot the little incident, and even as guilty as I felt I couldn't bring myself to apologize to the girl. I rathered her never make eye contact with me again and pretend that the whole situation had never happened rather than confront it, as I supposed that she didn't want to address the humiliating scenario ever again either.

Millie began to leave, and I was lead to believe that this was the last we would see of sweet treats for the day, but to my surprise Karen Scarfolli – and fellow freak that our friend group had encountered in the ninth grade – bumped into her and caused the whole box of doughnuts to go crashing to the floor. Her and Kim had arrived on the scene together, and the blonde was now raising her brows towards a very angry Karen.

"God!" Karen exploded in Millie's face, raising her hands up into the air. "People are walking here, okay!?"

"Ugh – now they're dirty! Just eat them!" Millie completely ignored Karen's outburst, storming off down the hallway and clearly very upset about her spilt doughnuts.

Kim, Daniel and Nick laughed whilst kneeling down to collect more doughnuts, and I merely watched with a slight smirk on my face. Millie's comical reactions were hilarious sometimes, and they made the soreness in my face worth it for the smile they cost. I chose not to kneel down and get a doughnut, refusing the one that Nick offered me with a sweet smile. It wasn't that I thought I was grossly overweight; I was just discomforted by the thought of eating a lot of food and gaining any weight. I was quite fond of my tiny figure, despite the health risks that it brought along.

"What? What's the problem?" Nick asked when Karen didn't accept the doughnut he was offering her.

"My problem is your face, dirt bag!" She spat and clomped away down the hall, causing Kim to snicker slightly.

"What's wrong with her?" Nick asked incredulously, two doughnuts now finding a resting place on one of his drumsticks.

"Ricky dumped her this morning," Kim shrugged, biting into her own sprinkle covered doughnut. "She's on the warpath."

I winced slightly at the mention of Karen's breakup, knowing that her and Ricky had been dating for awhile even though she had been fooling around with his younger brother about a week ago. Karen and I were pretty good friends – we liked egging houses and intimidating younger bullies together, convincing each other that we could make the school a better place if we scared enough bullies straight. Not to mention I was good at listening to her complain, and this was a quality that Karen favored.

"Well – if she's looking for new customers..." Daniel wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, finishing the last of his doughnut Nick laughed suggestively. "I'm up for a test drive."

"Shut up, Daniel!" Kim hit her boyfriend on the chest playfully, giggling and then yelling for Karen to slow down. "Karen! Wait up!"

She proceeded down the hallway without us, as Daniel and I headed to English while Nick traveled to shop class. Both Karen and Kim had spares, and would no doubt take the time to antagonize some poor innocent victims, so I was glad that I was not a part of that adventure even though Ms. Dwyer seemed to be in a particularly bad mood today. Despite this, the period went relatively smoothly – I even managed to answer one question about the reading correctly to the entire class' surprise, and earned a high five from Daniel – with no nausea to be felt at all.

We reconvened with our group at lunch in the cafeteria, gathering at a table near the wall that was most often than not our usual location. Since we were upperclassmen students tended to give us space, and since we were freaks even kids our own age tended to gravitate away from us. It didn't take long for Lindsay to locate us, filling in the fifth spot at the head of the table and listening in on our conversation about what exactly was going on with Karen.

"So why did Ricky break up with Karen?" Daniel tried to clarify with Kim. "Was she a prude? Did she, y'know, not go the distance?"

"Go the distance?" I snorted as Kim laughed and Nick grimaced. I was the only one without a tray at the lunch table, and was praying that Daniel and Kim wouldn't notice since they were usually the ones to monitor my food intake.

"No, Karen's not a prude," Kim made a face and twirled her straw in her chocolate milk. "She's a slut, obviously."

"_Obviously_?" Daniel repeated with a bit of a bite to his tone, piling more mystery meat into his mouth. "She's a friend of yours."

"Yeah, well last week," Kim disregarded his jab and continued, reminding me of how inconsiderate she could be sometimes. "She started getting it on with Ricky's older brother."

"Cool?" Daniel frowned into his food.

"Yesterday," My blonde friend continued, blue eyes shining as she told the table the whole story. "He walked in on them."

"Ooh..." Nick made a noise of disgust as he reeled back, not having expected that detail.

"Who walked in on who?" Lindsay asked, not having been informed on who exactly we were talking about and out of the loop considering she hadn't been present for the morning altercation.

"_Who walked in on who?_" Kim imitated Lindsay rudely, refusing to include her in the conversation. "God, people are so gossip-y at this school. It's like – get a life, y'know?"

Kim didn't even acknowledge the fact that she might have slightly insulted Lindsay, and instead took some of her yogurt on her finger, delivering it straight to her mouth. Lindsay took her yogurt off of the tray with a disgusted look before dropping it off of her tray and leaving the table. I sighed and shook my head in disappointment at the situation, not liking the fact that these two girls weren't getting along especially when they were in such close quarters all the time.

"What's her problem?" Kim asked as we watched her walk away. Nick followed Lindsay with a scoff after glaring at Kim for a second or two, causing Daniel to widen his eyes momentarily at the boy.

"She's upset Kim," I piped up, willing to go through this with her one more time especially since my cheek was feeling much better.

"Upset about what?" Kim shrugged, as if she didn't want to understand the reason why Lindsay would no longer tolerate her attitude.

"You don't like her," I shrugged playing with the sunglasses resting on the top of my head as Daniel peered at me curiously, assessing how I dealt with the situation. "Do you?"

Kim was quiet, but she made a face as if to say 'whatever' and started to eat her sandwich again.

"She's not a total bitch Kim," I tried to nudge my friend in the right direction, watching her sigh and lean back in her seat as if she was giving up. Daniel seemed to be surprised that my tactic was working. "Try to be nice – please."

"I'm sorry – it's just…" The blonde seemed to have an internal debate with herself for a minute. "My mom was being really stupid this morning."

"I understand that – you know I do," I nodded in sympathy, knowing the feeling of how a simple dispute with your parents in the morning could ruin your entire day, just as well as I knew the feeling of how being abused by your parents could ruin your entire life. "But can you try for me? For all of us?"

Kim nodded sullenly after another moment of thought, and Daniel raised both brows at me as if to silently congratulate me on the subject of curing Kim of some of her hatred. I felt empathetic towards the blonde girl in this moment, knowing how having your 'parents' yell at you and ruin your day by accusing you of things that you never did could throw you off emotionally for long periods of time. I knew how there was an indescribable feeling in the pit of your stomach when it happened; a mix of sadness, fear, jealousy and rage that wouldn't go away until some good old fashioned revenge occurred against an innocent soul.

Nevertheless Kim had no right to behave the way she did with Lindsay, and so I was relieved when the girl got up out of her chair seemingly calmer than when she had sat down. The lunch bell rang seconds later signaling the end of the period, and as Kim, Daniel and I walked to Algebra we conversed about exactly what had gone down this morning at the Kelly househould. As it turned out Cookie – Kim's ever so uptight mother – had figured that it had been Kim that had taken money out of her wallet this morning when in reality it had been Chip – Kim's elder brother – who had taken the cash. No matter how much Kim had tried to explain that she hadn't taken it Cookie still didn't believe her, and Chip wasn't doing anything to correct the situation so Kim had inevitably turned on her mother for not listening to her instead.

We spent most of the Algebra period trying to convince Kim to call her mother and straighten things out if it was bothering her so much, and I figured that it was a good way to avoid the nausea creeping up in my stomach. I successfully avoided it for the entirety of the class and managed to motivate Kim enough to call her mom after the class, earning another silent high five from Daniel who always encouraged me to help Kim in these types of scenarios. Kim was always more likely to listen to me, as another woman who pissed her off significantly less than Daniel.

When we emerged out of the classroom an hour later it took some more coaxing to get Kim to build the confidence enough to actually perform the task of calling her mother, but with some encouraging words I finally ignited a fire in the girl.

"Alright, I'll do it now," Kim growled between clenched teeth and stalked towards the phone, dropping in fifty cents and dialing her home number.

Daniel and I waited patiently against the wall out of earshot several feet away, watching as she began to talk in a hushed tone to her mother. She had requested us to stay and wait for her until she was done, not having expected the conversation to take very long, but with Kim and her mother you never really knew. We barely noticed Lindsay walking up on us until she spoke, making me jump slightly as all my attention had been previously focused on Kim's form leaning against the phone booth.

"What are you guys doing?"

I turned to face the brainy brunette who had approached us, long hair whipping around my shoulders.

"Kim wants us to wait for her," Daniel explained, thumb pointed towards Kim as he leaned on the wall nonchalantly. Sometimes I wished I retained the same sort of relaxed attitude as Daniel did all the time – he was rather good at making life seem like a breeze. "She's on the phone with her mom."

"I said I don't know!" Kim was yelling into the phone, catching Lindsay's attention and causing her eyes to widen. "Are you deaf!? No! I'm trying, okay!? I-I'm trying! GOD, would you quit yelling at me, you psychopath!?"

"You know, sometimes relationships can be a drag." Daniel pointed out, eyes darting between Lindsay and I before fixing themselves on me as I rose a sarcastic brow at him. His expression did not reveal any joking mannerism however, and my eyebrows quickly formed a frown as I realized there was a hidden meaning somewhere in his statement. I wouldn't get to figure it out in time however, as Lindsay was talking once more and Daniel attention was directed towards her.

"Especially if you're goin' out with her," She nearly snorted, and then realized that Daniel was giving her a pointed look. "Sorry."

"No, I know." Daniel scoffed slightly, making me narrow my eyes in suspicion at my best friend. Daniel had always defended Kim despite her crazy antics, but his latest words surprised me and led me to believe that something was changing in his mind.

"She can be cool if you get to know her," I butt in, giving Lindsay an encouraging smile and trying to convince myself to shake the whole scenario off. It was likely that Daniel was just getting tired of Kim, as expected.

"You know, mother!? You have _really _lost it this time! No – well you need help! God!" Kim stole the attention once more and slammed the phone down on the receiver, making a beeline towards the three of us waiting for her as she grumbled under her breath.

"No success?" I looked at her in sympathy.

"No," She shook her head from side to side in confirmation. "As per usual my mother is being a total shrew."

I was about to say something else to her – words of comfort, perhaps – but the bell interrupted me and made me jump at least a foot in the air thanks to it's proximity. I held my head in panic as Lindsay stared at me in concern, obviously having noticed how jumpy I was. If the situation hadn't been so raw Kim would have giggled, but she had her eyes trained on Lindsay cautiously. It wasn't until I remembered our previous lunch conversation that I realized why exactly she was acting so strange.

"Biology," Daniel reminded me as he wrapped a hand around my waist and started to guide me away from the two other girls. "We've got a test, so we'll see you guys later!"

"See ya!" Lindsay waved, and before I could protest Daniel was whisking me down the corridor.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to leave them alone together?" I glanced nervously back towards where Kim and Lindsay had begun to walk down the hallway together, not too comforted by the fact that they had been arguing until very recently.

"They'll be fine," Daniel smiled the smile that could relax anyone, and I found myself filled with a bit of hope as we turned a corner to walk towards our Grade 11 biology class (both of us had been held back a year and had chosen to repeat it once more).

"So how are things with your mom?" Daniel turned to me, hands in his back pockets as he slowed his pace.

"Why do you ask?" I made a face; he knew the answer to that question and knew that I seldom wanted to talk about the topic.

"Well," Daniel pointed a finger behind him. "just seeing as how Kim got all mad like that…"

"Yeah," I snorted and shook my head exhaustion, trying to brush his concern off. "It's more or less the same thing over at my place."

"It's worse," Daniel shook his head, knowing fully well that my parents were ten times more abusive – both physically and mentally – than Kim's. "Don't lie to me, Kitty-kat. You're a bad liar."

I knew that Daniel could relate to what Kim and I were going through to some extent – his father had been ill with a sickness that I couldn't pronounce the name of for a long time, and since Daniel was the one with the car it was his responsibility to go out and get the medication. His mother wasn't the friendliest person on the planet, most likely because she had a problem child, but was good at heart and despite her stressed nature tried her best to be a good mother. Daniel's older brother on the other hand, had been addicted to pain medication ever since Daniel had entered high school, and this caused a strain on their relationship as well as the family.

"So it's not getting better," Daniel confirmed as we stopped just outside the biology classroom, fixing me with his dark gaze. I still hadn't replied.

"No?" I rose my brow again at him, wondering why he was making all of these strange comments today. "I told you – I'm saving up for my own place. I've got to get the hell out of there as fast as I can."

"I'm not gonna let you move into some cockroach infested dump for five hundred bucks a month," Daniel scrunched his face up, shaking his head as if the idea was ridiculous. "You need more money than that."

"What do you want me to say, Daniel?" I tried to ignore the curious gazes of the students filing into the classroom next to us. "I can't stay there forever."

My friends knew about the abusive nature of my parents, but I had forced them not to say anything to teachers or police simply because of the fact that I would turn my parents in when I was good and ready. As of right now I didn't want to confront their abuse or stop it, fearing the worst from them if they found out that I had called the police on them. My friends respected this fact, but when they saw bruises it was torture for them to not do anything about it. This was the reason why I tried to cover up my marks as much as possible and tried to pretend that nothing was going on at home in hopes that they wouldn't be concerned and would hopefully forget about it.

"Come stay with me," Daniel pleaded, and I rolled my eyes. We had had this conversation many times, especially after rough nights where I had to escape from my bedroom window to run to Daniel's car when Rick was trying to kick down my bedroom door. "There's a spare room, and my mom can charge you rent, utilities –"

"I can't," I shook my head and interrupted him, clenching my jaw roughly. "I can't do that to your mother – I don't want to be a burden."

"You wouldn't be a burden!" Daniel exclaimed, getting the attention of the classroom inside that was now settling. My friend grew aware of this, and quieted himself before repeating his words. "You wouldn't be a burden – you know that. You're bringin' in cash, my mom could use the money –"

"I can't," I repeated myself as well, watching as Daniel rolled his eyes and huffed out in annoyance before leading me into the biology classroom.

The tests were handed out just as we fell into our two seats at the back of the classroom, and I temporarily forgot about Daniel and I's brief exchange as I took a look at some of the questions on the sheet. My facial expression must have been concerned, because when I peered over at Daniel in fear his face seeped comfort.

'It's okay.' He mouthed over to me, causing me to nod and take a shaky breath. There was a possibility that this could turn out alright.

We had the entire period to write the test, which gave me some reassurance up until I realized that I knew very little on this paper and this fact already made my nausea increase tenfold. The first question was to explain what Cladistic classification was, and for the life of me I couldn't pull the definition of it out of my brain. I knew that at one point we must have talked about it in class, but I either hadn't been paying attention or had been absent, so I moved on to the next question. This question was to explain what Thylakoids were, and I remembered hearing something about them in class, so I wrote down what I thought they might have been and moved on. Question number three was about photosynthesis, which I remembered learning lots about not only in this current course but in many courses in my previous schooling, and I smiled widely at the fact that I could retain some information that was useful.

Unfortunately, my good mood didn't last long – in fact the sixth question was when I lost it completely. The fourth and fifth questions had been awful – I couldn't comprehend the language in them at all nor what they were asking, but the sixth question was asking about vascular plants. I didn't even know that we had learned about vascular plants in this entire term. It was impossible that this could be on the test – how could the teacher have done this?

I felt the bile piling up in the back of my throat too quick for comfort, and I got up as least noisily as possible whilst trying to avoid gagging on my way out. I excused myself without reason from the classroom, the only object with me being my bag that I had grabbed at the last minute. I assumed – or hoped, rather – that both the teacher and Daniel knew what was going on, because I wasn't in the mood to go back to the classroom for the life of me.

My wishes were granted as I heard the distinct footsteps of my best friend behind me, and it wasn't long before I made a hard right towards a nearby trashcan and practically face planted into it as puke expelled itself from my throat.

"Couldn't've picked a better time," I could practically hear the slight smirk in Daniel's voice as he held my hair back and rubbed my spine. If I hadn't been vomiting my guts out I would have rolled my eyes; when Daniel got off Scott free from tight situations he experienced some sort of buzz that convinced him he could get away with anything, which was uniquely annoying. I couldn't count the amount of fire alarms he had pulled to save himself from writing a test only to adamantly deny it later on. "That test was killing me, man."

"Ugh," I wiped my mouth and spat once more in the trash can for good measure.

The nausea was clearing in my gut, and I looked down at the mess of stomach acid at the bottom of the wastebasket. Tears welled up in my eyes as ten different emotions coursed through me; I hated the fact that school made me nervous – the fact that I would come here and feel like shit everyday. The fact that I had to put school before my mental problems, or the problems I had at home. I hated the fact that I was dumb and didn't know what the teacher was talking about in class. I hated the fact that my own family couldn't even help me with these problems and my friends were forced to deal with them instead.

"I gotta clean up," I made my way to the girl's lavatory, Daniel trailing behind me as I hid my tears and tried to keep my voice as steady as possible.

I performed my usual routine, washing my face and gurgling water so the stinging in my throat would go away. I fixed the eyeliner around my eyes and double checked to make sure that the makeup on my cheek hadn't disappeared before I fixed myself with a very intense gaze in the mirror, gripping either sides of the sink harshly. Daniel leaned against one of the gaudy yellow walls of the female lavatory in a relaxed manner, but I could feel his tense gaze on me. My problem was getting worse.

I could feel tears well up in my eyes and push past my defenses before I could stop them, and even though I felt like the most pathetic person in the world at that moment I couldn't do anything to stop the flow of wetness rolling past my cheeks. I hung my head in shame, not wanting to burden my friend with any more of my problems, but Daniel clearly didn't feel the same way and was approaching me rather worriedly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He lifted my chin up with two fingers and frowned, brown eyes basically boring holes into my green ones. "What is it?"

"I hate it Daniel," I sobbed uselessly, shoulders drooping. "I hate being stupid."

"You're not stupid, Katherine," Daniel's tone was surprisingly serious instead of comforting, as if he was frightened that I seriously considered myself so low, and I dropped my gaze from his eyes to his chest. "Don't ever say that. You're not stupid."

"I don't know a-anything," I hiccuped sadly as I shook my head and ignored his argument. "I completely bombed that test."

"You're not stupid," Daniel repeated himself, gripping my face in between his hands to look me in the eyes. "You get better grades than the rest of us – and just 'cause you're not school smart doesn't mean you're dumb."

Daniel suddenly enveloped me in a tight hug, and I found myself clutching to his jacket in desperation as I reveled in the warmth. It was like being held in a cocoon of warmth and safety – I never wanted to leave. I liked the feeling of being wrapped in someone's arms that cared about me.

"I h-hate it when e-everyone raises their hands – a-and I don't..." I let my tears soak his shirt, uncaring of whether or not he would complain.

"You're not stupid," Daniel murmured once more, and simply repeated the phrase until I had ceased crying and was a quivering mass, sniffling every so often whilst trying to regulate my breathing based on his coordinated inhales and exhales.

The nausea was gone, instead replaced with the feeling of disappointment as I remembered that I hadn't even finished the test before I had been forced to run out of the classroom like the big phony idiot that I was. I was also forced to reapply my eyeliner all over again, as a majority of it had been released onto Daniel's shirt and now stained the blue material black. He assured me that this was not a problem, and we stayed in a comfortable silent embrace until the bell rang and we were forced to evacuate the bathroom on account of the girls that would undoubtedly come in and squeal about how there was a boy in the girl's washrooms.

"C'mon," Daniel nudged me with an encouraging smile, similar to the one I had fixed Kim with earlier today. "Let's go find everyone."

* * *

I rolled my eyes for the fifth time that afternoon upon glancing at my two friends canoodling underneath the bleachers. Daniel and Kim were cute, yes, but considering I had vomited only several hours before – they were spawning seeds in the pit of my stomach that I didn't necessarily want at the moment. I simply turned the other way and smoked my cigarette in silence, blowing smoke rings when I could. By this point it was after school hours, and we were moseying around together before we all parted ways.

"Hey Lindsay! Where're you going?" Kim turned away from Daniel when Lindsay arrived on the scene, fixing the brunette with a curious gaze.

"I dunno…home?" Lindsay looked up at Kim questioningly, no doubt wondering why the blonde was being so nice to her.

"Well, what are you doing later?" Kim asked the other girl, hope revealing itself her tone. I briefly wondered if she was simply trying for the group or if she really wanted to spend time with the girl, and found myself proud of my friend either way. Before I knew it Kim was inviting Lindsay over to her house for dinner, and whilst I thought that this move was questionable considering the nature of Kim's family, I settled on giving Kim an encouraging thumbs up away from Lindsay's view.

"Hey," Daniel caught my attention from his spot a few meters away from me, lighting up his own cigarette. "You alright?"

I nodded and blew a long stream of smoke from my mouth. "I'll be fine."

"Call me if you don't feel good tonight, ok?" His gaze was heavy, but I ignored it in favor of nodding and rising up off of the benches we had scattered underneath the bleachers. I had taken my biology textbook from my locker, deciding that it wouldn't hurt to look it over in preparation for the next test, but the downside was that it weighed down my messenger bag and caused me to walk a bit slower than my usual pace.

Daniel resumed talking to Kim as she explained to him her change of plans for the night, and I was just about to leave for my house when I stopped.

"Hey guys?"

Both Daniel and Kim turned to me, whilst Lindsay watched awkwardly from several paces away.

"Do you mind if I crash at one of your places tonight?" I asked, watching relief mold Daniel's face. I really didn't feel like going back to my house, especially after the events that had transpired this morning.

"I'm having Lindsay over," Kim shook her head, regret shaping her features. "Sorry Kit-kat."

"You can stay at my place," Daniel nodded, taking a drag of his cigarette. "I'm going out anyway – you know where the key is."

Since I didn't have anything else to do that night, I decided to head directly over to Daniel's house and see if I could actually complete some homework. It was a pretty long walk to his house – but I was grateful that he was letting me stay either way. His mother was used to me, and I had only seen his extremely ill father a couple times anyway.

When I arrived, the key was under the doormat as per usual and Daniel's mother was in the kitchen making soup for her husband as per usual, not surprised that I was staying the night. We didn't chat for very long before I made my way into Daniel's room and pulled out my textbooks, laying them on his floor so that I could utilize the area better. I pulled out one of his Black Flag records and let it spin, using his large headphones to concentrate on my studies as best I could.

I struggled through my math homework, but did the best I could and moved along to science where I tried as hard as I could to understand the words on the assignment that my teacher had handed out. After a good half hour of trying and scribbling down what I thought could have been correct answers, I concluded that I was most likely doing everything incorrectly and hoped for the best. In reality, as long as I scored over a fifty percent it sat well with me, and I wasn't really looking to heighten my average any more than that. So, with a last sad note, I closed the textbook I had been trying to learn from and fought more tears building up from behind my eyelids.  
I ventured to the bathroom and washed my face to distract myself from the fact that I would most likely be forever under average, using my overnight bag I always left at the Desario household to brush my teeth and remove my makeup. I usually had at least one package of things in each one of my friend's houses, which included clothing, a toothbrush, any substances and school supplies. Unfortunately, the amount of time I had been spending at friend's houses had increased dramatically as the relationship between me and my 'parents' got worse, and I had ended up moving most of my belongings to each of these overnight bags.

Creeping back to Daniel's room, I ignored his older brother's door and the overwhelming feeling of sadness in my stomach that I got looking at the initials carved into the wood in favor of remaining as silent as possible as to not disturb his father. I didn't want to think about addiction at this very moment.

Despite the fact that it was only six o'clock, my body was faced with an overwhelming tiredness and I slumped into Daniel's bed with a final groan of satisfaction, letting sleep overcome my exhausted body. 

* * *

When I woke, I woke in a state of indescribable anxiety.

It didn't help that Daniel was nowhere to be found; he was either passed out at someone else's house or still out partying, which wouldn't have been a surprise considering the time on his alarm clock read twelve in the morning. I stared at the bright red numbers for several minutes, trying to fight the horrid depression creeping up on me that was swallowing me whole, but I couldn't resist it.

This entire day had been horrible, and had only convinced me as to why I didn't want to live any further. My real family hated me, my friends would eventually get tired of my antics and outgrow me, and I was of no use to the world whatsoever if I couldn't even pass a simple science course. It was ridiculous, really – I was an absolute waste of space and time that didn't deserve a second more on the planet, and really didn't need to waste anyone else's time either. I was afraid to live; afraid to fight any longer; afraid of people, the grades, the jobs, my house and my parents. The fight in me had run out. I was done.

Yet, as I crept into the Desario kitchen in the dead of night and grabbed the largest knife I could find, my eyes latched onto the telephone hung up on the wall and my stomach clenched in guilt. Even though I had tried to convince myself that I wouldn't have been missed if I offed myself, there was no denying that it was cause extreme sadness in my group of friends. I couldn't do that to them, despite my extreme conflict in the scenario that caused me to grip the knife with a renewed vigor.

Again, I was faced with extreme guilt and forced to place the knife back down on the counter with tears in my eyes, and as if an unknown force was controlling me I took shaky steps towards the phone and picked up the handle. Immediately I began to dial one of the random numbers that I had memorized in my head, knowing that the four combinations of digits undoubtedly lead to either Nick, Ken, Kim or Daniel. I knew I wasn't calling Daniel, since this was his phone, but any of them would have sufficed. I needed help – I didn't know what to do and I was desperate to tell someone how I was feeling. If I didn't get these emotions off of my chest I didn't know what I could do, and right then and there I just wanted to comfort of one of my friends talking to me.

The phone rang once, then twice, and then a third time. It didn't seem like anyone was going to pick up at 1 AM in the morning, but thankfully on the fourth ring someone picked up.

"_Hello?_" Ken's groggy voice came from the other end of the telephone, and I let out a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding in. I didn't know what I would have done if he hadn't picked up the phone, and was already undoubtedly in debt to my friend.

"Ken?" My voice sounded small even to myself as I tried to formulate proper words, looking down at the knife sitting on the countertop and trying to resist the urge to pick it back up again. "I uh...I-I wanted to – no I need to talk."

"_What's wrong?" _Ken's tone immediately switched from groggy to alert, as if he was able to detect that something was wrong with the way I was speaking.

"I can't do it anymore," I murmured, shaking my head as I let some tears escape my eyes. "I'm sorry. It's getting too hard with everything and I feel...I feel like saying goodbye."

I was silent after that statement, waiting for him to put the two and two together. I hadn't been faced with this much depression in ages, and was having a very difficult time deciding what to do. I felt so useless and small and insignificant in the world; a mere burden on the shoulders of people who seemingly had problems worse than mine.

"_Are you alone?" _

"No," I answered truthfully, still not knowing what to say afterwards. I wanted to talk, but I couldn't think of what to say next without a prompt or a question. "I just...I just wanted to talk because I need help deciding – I don't know what to do and I just want to talk."

Ken didn't say anything for a moment or two, before he seemingly dropped whatever he was thinking about.

"_Okay. Let's talk." _


	6. Chapter 5 - Tests and Breasts

**Tests and Breasts**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

It had been several weeks, and I still hadn't told anyone about the incident that had occurred at Daniel's home involving Ken and I. He had agreed to remain silent on the matter, deciding that everyone was already concerned enough about my health as it was and as long as I was certain that I was not at risk for the time being we could keep it a secret. Ken had, however, made me promise that if I ever felt that way again I would either call the hospital or call him personally otherwise he would go straight to Daniel, and I had had no problems agreeing to that pact. Ken had been wonderful that night, talking me through how I was feeling and re-instilling logic in my head that gently allowed me to face reality once more. By the time Daniel had come home I was sleeping soundly in his bed, and he was none the wiser as to what had happened.

The entire friend group was still clueless, and I was glad that Ken had stuck to his promise as Nick, Daniel and I leaned against the lockers before the first bell of the morning. I didn't know what their reactions would have been like if they had known what had occurred about a month ago.

"Kim's in my shop class now," Nick was speaking, explaining to Daniel and I why our blonde friend had dropped out of our Algebra class. "She's not gonna tell her folks, but she said she couldn't deal with Kowcheski anymore."

"Amen to that," Daniel sighed, running a hand over his face just as the bell rang. "The man's a beast."

"Okay Mr. Desario, Ms. Welsh," Mr. Kowcheski suddenly interrupted our conversation from behind us, startling me in the process and beckoning us into the room. Luckily it didn't appear that he had heard our conversation. "Time for your favorite class."

Both Daniel and I pulled faces as we followed the balding man into the math classroom, cursing the subject in our heads. I could vaguely grasp the concept of most subjects at school, but math was an area that I struggled in severely. No amount of extra work or 'secret formulas' could help, and Kowcheski's attitude certainly wasn't assisting at all. The man was harsh, cruel and spiteful and always refused to give me extensions on homework, making Algebra one of the classes that always made me the most nauseous. Daniel knew this, which was why I was beyond grateful that he had retaken the course with me and was always willing to sit through the agonizing lessons alongside me.

"Come on people, simmer down – let's go," Kowcheski tried to control the noise level in the classroom as he situated himself, closing the door behind him. "This is my time, not yours – hey! Chatty Kathy! You sit on the furniture at home?"

Kathy Hertz, a leggy brunette with an attitude, glared towards Kowcheski before removing herself from the desk and placing herself onto her seat instead. She was well known amongst students for chewing loads of bubblegum and leaving it everywhere in the school, causing trouble amongst the staff who couldn't figure out who the culprit of the gum crisis was.

"Okay, a reminder about tomorrow's test," Mr. Kowcheski continued, clapping his hands together as he faced the class with a stern gaze. "It's tomorrow."

There was a collective groan before Daniel raised his hand. "Uh – Kowcheski?"

"Desario?" Kowcheski sighed. I had a feeling that he was getting tired of Daniel's constant interruptions in class, especially since he had been dealing with it for a long while now. Daniel had been his usual troublemaker self since he had been little and his work ethic wasn't getting any better, and I had a feeling that all of the teachers had clued into that a long time ago.

"Didn't we take a test last week?" My friend questioned our Algebra teacher, who raised his hands as if it was obvious.

"Your point?"

"Well," Daniel began to argue, and I could just tell from the tone of his voice that he was going to drag this out for as long as he could. "I just don't think you've taught us enough in the past week to give us another test."

The class laughed at this, making Kowcheski roll his eyes before he placed his hands on his hips and quieted the students down. I found myself smirking at the fact that it was indeed true that the teacher had handed out a test last week, and perhaps it was a little too soon to write another test considering the little knowledge we had accumulated in the last several days. Then again, I was extremely biased thanks to my low grade point average and lack of motivation.

"Okay people, in math, every week you build off of what you learned the week before," Kowcheski explained, then tried to make a simple analogy for the situation. "I mean, it's like a bus – if you keep missing the bus, you're never going to catch up."

"But, uh – I don't ride the bus," Daniel's tone was anything but serious despite his innocent facial expression. "Sir."

The class laughed again, but this time around I couldn't bring myself to smile at my friend's antics. Kowcheski was right; if you kept missing the bus you would be constantly chasing after it and struggling to catch up, forced to watch as all of the passengers rode the vehicle without a problem whilst you tried to use all of your energy to reach the car that just kept getting faster.

"Desario," Kowcheski addressed Daniel head on this time, clearly done with his joking mannerisms as his sarcastic tone of voice revealed. "Flunk another test...and you might have to come back here next year and ride the bus with me again."

Daniel was silent, but there were various immature choruses from the rest of the students as they laughed at their teacher's ridiculous tone. I momentarily speculated if my friend had reached the same conclusion that I had; perhaps now he realized that at one point or another, he needed to succeed with his grades or everything was going to fall apart for him. He had already been held back a year and flunked several classes, and he needed to realize that everything was based off of a good education. If you didn't get good grades in high school, you wouldn't get into a good college, or college at all, and then you wouldn't have access to a good profession, and from there you wouldn't have money. It just kept going – and everything started with knowledge, or as Kowcheski put it, 'riding the bus'.

My epiphany was abandoned when Kowcheski brought our attention to today's lesson, which happened to be advanced functions 101. I groaned and slumped my head down on my desk, acknowledging that it was easy to say that everything started from knowledge but the hard part was actually applying yourself to understand what the hell was going on in the classroom. This was my biggest struggle, besides the fact that high school was generally terrible for me. Friends didn't always help when I was vomiting into the trash bin every other class and my family hated me, not to mention the fact that I was mentally unstable, constantly being labeled a freak and there were several teachers who thought that my lifetime goal was to become a crackhead prostitute.

Needless to say, I didn't have much encouragement, and it was getting harder every day.

I looked over at Daniel beside me, safely concluding that he had already put the interaction with Kowcheski in the back of his mind as he was currently using his switchblade to carve something into his desk. Kowcheski's words rang through my head again as I regarded my friend silently, a concerned frown shaping my brows.

'_You keep missing the bus…you're never gonna catch up.'_

* * *

"I took twenty bucks from my mom, right? But she thought it was my brother – she completely went nuts on him! Hit him over the head with a spatula – I mean, it was hilarious."

It was my second period spare, and I was listening to Kim tell Lindsay about a ridiculous incident that had happened at her place last night. These types of stories were pretty common coming from Kim; she liked to make light of the sad incidents that happened in her home that caused her a lot of inner anger. Lindsay seemed less than impressed, but Nick and I were used to these sorts of tales and I found myself laughing along as I continued to smoke my second cigarette of the day. I had a bit of nausea resting in my stomach, so I hoped that the nicotine would soothe the feeling even though Nick had already notified me that I was rather pale. He and Kim were supposed to be in shop class, but were both clearly skipping. Daniel was also present on the patio, although I could sense that something was off with him as he smoked his own cigarette on a faraway picnic bench and decided to leave him in peace for the time being.

"Sounds like it," Lindsay retorted to Kim's story, clearly not knowing what else to say.

My blonde friend had told me about their chaotic dinner together and how the evening had gone exactly how she had predicted, and I found myself feeling rather sorry for Kim once more. Putting aside the feelings that were telling me to feel sorry for myself considering how much worse my own 'parents' were, I reminded myself that at least Kim's parents had expectations for her that she was constantly reminded of. Some days it was like a comedy routine at her place, but others it was a living nightmare where Kim had to call me crying at eight o'clock because her parents had once again insulted her grades.

Seeing that Lindsay was rather bored, Nick valiantly took his straw out of his pop and blew the liquid trapped inside of it straight onto Kim, who squawked in surprise.

"God, you bastard!" She cried, wiping off her shirt and visibly growing peeved. "Why'd you do that!? What are you, lit or something!? Jesus!"

"I'm sorry," Nick apologized in a tone that was anything but sincere, blowing off the whole incident. "Mellow out, alright?"

Kim scoffed and pushed his drink over, causing it to spill over Nick's pant leg so that his thigh was also covered in the sticky juice.

"There, how do you like it!?" She stood up and tried to clean her shirt off, only to groan in displeasure. "Now I gotta walk around all day with pop on my shirt, y'know!? Thanks a lot."

With those final words she was storming off, and before I got up and followed her I briefly wondered if Nick had done the horrid deed on purpose to get rid of her or to actually provide some entertainment for Lindsay. The brunette beside me was looking rather entertained, but instead of sitting around to listen to the two lovebirds flirt I decided to snuff out my cigarette and follow a rapidly disappearing Kim. It was important that I tried to stop her bad mood before it affected anyone else; I knew just how easily Kim's day could be afflicted by these sorts of silly events.

"Kim!" I called out to the girl as soon as I spotted her, approaching her at her locker. "Kim?"

"What do you want?" Kim flipped around in a huff, eyeing me with a hostility that almost made me take a step back and reconsider my decision to follow her.

"Nothing," I stood my ground and maintained neutrality, seeing that the best approach to healing her mood was to ignore what had just gone down. "We have economics together, remember?"

"Ugh," Kim stuck her tongue out in disgust and closed her locker door, clearing a path through a crowd of students so that we could get to our classroom. "Don't remind me."

It took five minutes for her to start ranting about Nick's behavior, and I was glad that she had chosen me to confide in. At least this way her negative mood wasn't affecting anyone else, as I was certain that I could handle it without letting it put a significant damper on my own mood. If it had been any other member of our group they would have put a shotgun to their chin by the time Kim started using swear words.

"He's such a fucking idiot sometimes," Kim plopped down in her seat as soon as we entered the economics classroom, taking advantage of the fact that the teacher hadn't arrived yet so that she could use the full capacity of her offensive language. "I swear he's gonna end up in prison or something 'cause he's such a tool. Just watch – he's gonna piss off the wrong person one day and wham! Ten year sentence."

I almost laughed at the faraway look in Kim's eyes, the picture of Nick in an orange jumpsuit trying to coax the prison guards into buying him a drum kit for his cellblock removing all thoughts of comforting my friend for a moment. It was true, considering Nick wanted to be a famous drummer and enjoyed taking drugs; he was technically taking the fast lane to failure. Unless, of course, he took initiative and decided to enroll in a drum lesson. Nick was very passionate, but lacked some basic skills required to become as famous as he wanted to be and didn't seem to realize the reality of his situation.

"Yeah," I spoke once I had regained control of my sense. "I could see that happening."

"Hey, could you get me a tissue?" Kim whined, once again glaring down at the wet spot on her shirt.

"Sure," I rose from my seat and ventured to the front of the classroom, grabbing a kleenex and returning it to my friend.

"Thanks," Kim grumbled and began to wipe her shirt furiously, not letting up until the teacher walked in and the lesson started.

I was proud to say that there was little to no nausea to be reported for the rest of the period, and even though the class had been somewhat confusing I had managed to grasp the major concept of the lesson. I had also managed to convince Kim to follow through with our plans with Nick this Friday, having wanted to smoke it up in his basement considering he had just purchased a new sound system. Even though she was still slightly put out by her sticky shirt, when she spotted Nick on the patio just as the lunch bell rang all she did was give him a playful punch. I smiled at the two getting along just fine and lit up a cigarette, ignoring Kim's annoyed grunt.

When Friday rolled around however, her reaction to me smoking was much different.

"Come on Kit-kat," She whined, squinting thanks to the sun shining brightly in the sky. "You've already had enough today, no?"

"Oh please," I rolled my eyes. "I've had like two. And I have a history test next period so take pity."

"Well," She huffed as I continued puffing away, plopping down beside me to file her nails. "Did you study?"

"A bit," I sighed, telling her the truth. "I'm still really worried, though."

Kim didn't say anything, instead continuing to file her nails somewhat indignantly. She didn't like talking about education – it made her defensive and bitter. She, like me, hated the fact that she didn't get good grades and that she couldn't carry on a simple conversation about current events. Nothing really interested her, and besides the fact that the school held ample opportunities for her, she never took heed of anything that was thrusted into her face. Clubs, sports teams and councils passed her by like utility poles on a highway, but I always had to remind myself that when judging Kim about her scholastic opportunities I was being hypocritical. I didn't take interest in many things either, but at least I was able to maintain a sixty plus average.

"Hey Kim, Katherine!" Lindsay emerged onto the patio with a small smile, interrupting my thoughts. "Where's Daniel?"

"I dunno," Kim answered as we both shrugged our shoulders. "Beats me."

"We have a disciplinary meeting after school," Lindsay looked a tad bit nervous as she revealed this, and both Kim and I grimaced.

"Ugh," I made a noise of disgust, remembering the last time I had a disciplinary meeting after helping Stroker cheat on a test. It had resulted in Mr. Rosso giving me three detentions and glares in the hallway for a good several weeks. "You nervous?"

"You know, don't worry about it," Kim jumped in to reassure the girl after she made a tiny sound of insecurity. "Daniel gets out of stuff like this all the time."

"I mean, I shouldn't be worried about it, right?" Lindsay's tone was hopeful as she straddled the bleacher next to us. "Kowcheski's a jerk. I mean he'll pass the test and then I'll tutor him, and he'll pass the class. I mean everything's gonna work out, right?"

Kim and I began to laugh, and I did a double take to make sure that Lindsay was being serious.

"I'm sorry," Kim tried to clarify with a smirk. "You think that you and Daniel are gonna be like, study buddies?"

"He wants to learn, and what about the next test?" Lindsay clearly didn't know Daniel well enough, so we tried to help her out and explain to her that Daniel wasn't exactly a person who tried very hard to do things the right way.

"He'll just get the answers from someone else," Kim pointed out sadly, holding out her filing stick as it if was obvious.

"He always does," I finished my friend's sentence before we were interrupted by the man in question himself.

Daniel came up behind Kim and surprised her by play fighting, not catching the way that Lindsay was staring at them dumbfoundedly. Truth be told I had thought that the brunette would have been able to catch onto Daniel's ways sooner – it was clear to me that this boy always chose the easy way out of things, and that was obvious based on his work ethic and even the way he solved day to day problems. Daniel didn't like complication; he wanted one sentence answers to large problems and didn't like hearing that he had to work hard in any scenario. This was an unfortunate trait sometimes and would undoubtedly mess him up later along the road, but I couldn't comment on it considering my own damaging problem solving skills.

"You ready to stick it to the man?" Daniel finally turned to Lindsay, grinning at the mention of of the meeting later on. "Partners in crime, gimme five."

Lindsay's face seemed to change, and I knew what was happening in her head – I had gone through the same thing when I first acknowledged Daniel's problems. Lindsay was realizing how he worked and how desperate and helpless he was to cling on to anyone who knew the answers not just for homework and tests but for problems that he didn't want to deal with. If he knew how to deal with a situation at hand he would, but if there was something that he couldn't get or that he had to work towards – by George would he avoid it with all his might. For a person who didn't like working, Daniel seemed to work very hard _not _to work.

"Hey, don't leave me hangin'," Daniel wiggled his hand once he realized that Lindsay wasn't giving in, but when she slowly but surely smacked her hand against his he grinned triumphantly. "Alright."

I merely considered this another loss on Daniel's side. In a way it could have been considered a victory – he had succeeded in getting Lindsay to help him cheat, they had gotten 'caught', and now all they had to do was deny, something that Daniel was excellent at. But Daniel didn't realize that he was being tricked out of something very valuable, which ended up being knowledge. Lindsay seemed to be the only one who realized this, and saw just as well as I that poor Daniel was stuck in an endless cycle of not understanding anything, finding someone to do it for him, and then starting the entire process over again because he hadn't understood the material in the first place.

To say the least, I was scared for him. I wasn't the brightest bulb in the set, but I understood that knowledge was power, and without knowledge you would end up with a crappy job and crappy lifestyle that didn't satisfy your needs. Either way, I hoped that Daniel would soon realize that he was stuck in a circle that only he could get himself out of and that unfortunately, was a task that he couldn't convince someone to do for him.

On that sad note the rest of the day passed by rather quickly with no more nausea to speak of and before I knew it I was dumping my books into my disheveled locker and shoving some homework into my bag before following Nick and Kim out to the parking lot. We slid into her old Gremlin that her Aunt had bought her awhile ago before she had overdosed on cocaine, and Nick reluctantly took the back seat as I slid into shotgun. We were on the road and making fast time to Nick's house, eager to relieve ourselves of the stress we had built up during the week. Daniel and Ken were going to be attending a concert later on in the evening and Lindsay had rejected our invitation of smoking, so we were on our own.

As soon as Kim was on open road she turned up the radio, and Van Halen flooded the speakers causing Nick to start drumming along in the back seat. He bashed away on thin air as Kim and I shared weary glances, but I was glad that the two were getting along again after Tuesday's incident with the pop. A bit of liquid on her shirt was something that I had hoped wouldn't leave Kim pissed at someone for a long period of time, but I had seen her hold grudges for much less so I wouldn't have been surprised if she was still miffed at our stoner friend.

"So Daniel and Lindsay got caught cheating, huh?" I asked to neither of the two in particular, most likely going to receive a response from Kim since Nick was now bashing his head along to the song on the radio as well as air drumming. "Is that why they had a disciplinary meeting?"

"Yeah," Kim sighed as we both shook our heads. "Apparently there was an 'anonymous note'."

"Bullshit," I laughed, snorting a bit as I wondered if Kowcheski had been the one to think of the silly idea. "Cops use that all the time, it's just a ploy."

"Daniel knows that," Kim pointed out, and I nodded hopefully.

"Yeah, he'll get out of it no problem," I was willing to bet that Daniel only needed to spent ten minutes with Kowcheski and Rosso before being let off the hook Scott free with no problem whatsoever. He had done it before a million times, so there was nothing stopping him from doing it again. "Like always."

"Hey, has he ever used that track one, two three thing around you?" Kim giggled, remembering Daniel's long guilt-tripping speech about how dichotomy effected a kids lifestyle and how sorting people into groups convinced him that he was a dumb child. He played a lot of teachers into thinking that he really did care about his grades, when instead he was making a reference to one of his favorite songs on the Zeppelin II album.

"Oh yeah," I laughed. "The stupid Zeppelin lemon song or something?"

"Hey!" Nick interrupted us, pointing his drumstick towards us in accusation before continuing on with his kooky musical antics. "Zeppelin isn't stupid!"

"Right," I continued, rolling my eyes at our friend in the backseat and debating whether or not Nick was already stoned or not. "Anyway, I was thinking of going to see the school play."

"What?!" Kim snorted, causing me to scoff in disbelief at the fact that the minute any of us mentioned anything to do with school involvement she was already against it.

"Yeah, come on!" I encouraged with a smile, somewhat teasingly. "We could go _really _baked! It could be fun!"

"Maybe - we'll see," Kim shook her head with a smile as she pulled into Nick's driveway, 'Spirit of the Radio' ending just in time before she shut off the engine.

As soon as we got to the basement, avoiding Nick's father on the way down, we began to roll joints. There were at least six on the table before we started to smoke them, two for each of us. It was our usual group routine and usually it consisted of several more people, but this was a special case. This meant more pot for us, so we happily kept rolling and smoking until Nick's stash had a good clump taken out of it.

"Okay, if we use any more I'm gonna run out!" Nick laughed, storing the rest of the drug underneath the couch in the same old box. "You guys are leeches with this stuff, I swear."

Kim blew some smoke out of her nose into my face, ignoring Nick's comment and making me recoil. I laughed and leaned back until I was fully lying on the floor, staring up at the stained ceiling that was Nick's basement.

"Okay - fine," I muttered, taking another hit from the joint that was resting loosely in between my fingers and coughing. "But we need some music."

"That," Nick grinned manically, rising up off of the couch with his drumsticks in tow. "I can do for you."

Naturally, Nick put on one of Rush's albums and made both Kim and I groan in disappointment. It wasn't that we didn't enjoy Rush, but Nick couldn't stop playing either them or Led Zeppelin on repeat until all of our friend group was tired of visiting his basement and listening to the same songs over and over again. I huffed in disappointment, but allowed him to climb onto his drum set with the lit spliff still hanging from his lips so that he could follow the beats of the drums on his own kit. He began to bash away, and I focused on trying to finish my joint as opposed to listening to his noises. I prayed that the effects of the drug came soon – I didn't think that I could tolerate much of Nick's musical adventures without being under the influence of something.

The high hit me quicker than I imagine it would have, and I alerted Nick and Kim of my state by beginning to laugh at the former's facial expression as he banged away on his drumset. Nick's pot seemed to make me happier than my own pot, which confused me because we purchased it from the same dealer, but for some reason my highs were always more enjoyable. Then again, I pondered as I took more hits and finished my first joint of the evening, it was possible that I was simply enjoying my highs more because I was surrounded by friends whenever I smoked Nick's pot.

Kim seemed to be having a great time as well – she had been giggling about something that Nick was doing on the drums, and was now rolling around on the floor howling with laughter. I began to laugh as well – finding her bliss captivating and infectious. Within minutes, even Nick had started to join in, his drumming falling out of tune and step with the song, abandoned because of his outrageous delight. Our peace of mind and euphoria lasted for the next half an hour, and once it started to die down we smoked some more.

Our attempts in keeping it alive succeeded, and we found the never-ending exhilarating felicity that we had become habituated to. All of our lives had something wrong with them one way or another, and we loved being able to laugh without any boundaries – without any restrictions or regulations. There weren't any guidelines like school or rules at home; there were no dreadful parents or distressing homework assignments to turn in; no hideous cheerleaders to ruin our fun. There was just Kim and Nick and I laughing like buffoons for hours upon hours until our guts were sore from clenching too hard.

At one point, we decided to put as much dry ice as possible into a bucket of hot water, and the effects were fascinating to our still influenced minds. We whooped and howled in amazement as the fog enveloped us, hugging each other in delight as we shrieked with laughter. The sheer feeling of delight and light headedness had me reeling and drunk with pleasure at the fact that in these very moments there were truly no worries in the world.

"You know," Kim smiled groggily at me while Nick was playing along to _Freewill_. "I really like you."

"Thanks, Kim!" I smiled and flopped halfway on top of her, making her squeal.

"Ow! You're on my boob!" She laughed, shoving me off.

"Oh, I was just about to tell you how much I liked you too!" We hugged each other and collapsed into a fit of snickers, and I found that I couldn't stop laughing. My ribs hurt and my cheeks felt like they were about to fall off – just thinking about laughing and watching Kim laugh made me laugh even harder. The delirium and optimism surrounding us was overwhelming. Our cheerfulness was corrupting.

There was no need for words, no need for an explanation or logic. Sense and comprehension were of no use in this environment. It was just pure fun; boisterous amusement. Joy stacked on top of joy. Laughter and elation combining into one. We didn't care that Nick's father hadn't come to check on us in over three hours; we didn't care that Daniel and Lindsay had been caught or that everyone at school thought we were freaks. All that mattered was that we were having the time of our lives in Nick Andopolis' basement.

Eventually, around 2 AM when Kim had fallen asleep on Nick's couch, I stumbled my way home after bidding my host goodbye. It wasn't too long of a walk from Nick's house to mine, so I was capable of finding it even in the state that I was in. I entered my house as silently as possible, praying that the creaky front door wasn't going to live up to its name tonight and that both my mother and my stepfather were both already passed out. Fortunately, I wasn't too loud, and even though I was as high as a kite I managed to get to my room without tripping over anything. I flopped down on my bed and didn't even bother to get changed, instead passing out as soon as my face hit the pillow.

Tonight had been a splendid, wonderful, joyous night, and I had to admit that I was glad to be alive.


	7. Chapter 6 - I'm With the Band

**I'm With The Band**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

"We're gonna call the cops, young lady!"

It was in these moments, when I had woken up to my parents howling at each other as well as throwing objects around the house and had tried to make a quick getaway only to be yelled at as well, that I wondered what a normal family was like. Did Lindsay's parents sometimes wake her up screaming at each other? Did other kid's parents use everyday kitchen utensils as weaponry?

These questions seemed not to be very important as my stepfather loomed over my small form in the kitchen, putting a stubby finger in my face and demanding that I stayed home today to help my mother clean up the house. Spit flew from his mouth as he spoke, his face so pudgy and red that I couldn't help but grimace at it. He was stumbling slightly, revealing his level of intoxication, and I managed to fool him into thinking that I was staying around today long enough to make some toast for myself.

"I can't believe you, Katherine Jane Welsh!" My mother piped up as I waited for my bread to toast, and I glared at her and her disheveled form as I clicked my long black nails on the counter. "We haven't seen you in a WEEK! And the minute you show up you want to leave again!?"

She was holding a rolling pin in one hand to undoubtedly threaten Rick with, and a spatula in the other that I couldn't imagine the use for. I had vivid memories of Cookie hitting Chip over the head at Kim's house, and didn't want to be victim of a similar scenario in my own house, so I tried to defend myself.

"I have something called school! And it's not my fault I don't wanna stay here!" I cried in indignation towards my mother and Rick, who had come out of the bathroom and was now glaring at me whilst holding the cheap counter to remain steady. "You guys are drunk all the time! I've had enough, y'know!? Fuck both of you!"

I yelled back at them, taking my saddlebag off of the counter and preparing to leave the house. I was just about to exit the stupid rickety door with the hinges that no one ever bothered to fix and the stupid decoration on the front that mom never changed when I felt a tug on my hair and was thrown to the ground. I let out a screech of surprise at this, holding my head in pain as I lost my breath from the impact of my back hitting the floor.

My stepfather's face loomed over me amidst my mother's cries, but I wasn't left alone with Rick until she disappeared into her bedroom screaming about how this family was too 'chaotic' for her. I growled and tried to get Rick to release my hair, but his hand wasn't giving up.

"Let go of me, you asshole!" I screeched and tugged side to side, the back of my head erupting in pain.

"You little bitch!" He growled and pulled me up by my shirt, causing me to flail out towards him in rebuttal as rage took over my actions. I could smell the alcohol on him and gagged in disgust, knowing that this situation wouldn't turn out well for me. "You're gonna break up this whole family!"

"You already did, you dirtbag! I hate you!" Pulling back my fist with all my might, I swung as hard as I could and hit Rick square in the jaw.

He grunted in pain, stumbling a step backwards, and then retaliated with a punch that I wasn't prepared for. He hit me right in the solar plexus with a force that I couldn't reckon with, and I bent over without even a grunt of pain thanks to the shock that being punched came along with. The bottom line was that he was a man – he was intoxicated and had a bigger body mass than me, and at this point I was screwed because I was vomiting all over the floor.

"You fucking brat! Watch the shoes!" My stepfather barked dangerously, giving me one more shove against the door for good measure before pointing a finger in my face again. "If you ever do that again, I'm gonna call the cops on you."

I wiped my mouth and gulped nervously. "If _you_ ever do that to _me _again, I'm gonna call the cops on _you_."

"Excuse me?" Rick leaned down to my level almost teasingly, grabbing my chin and squeezing it so tightly that my eyes began to water. "I'd like to see you try."

As tears began to pool at the corners of my eyes and threatened to spill over, I found myself literally shaking with pent up adrenaline. I wasn't fighting back, and we both knew why. Time after time I threatened to call the police on my parents only to receive jeers and taunts in return and not actually go through with it, partly because I was terrified of the consequences and partly because I believed that the police wouldn't actually arrest Rick. It was a tight situation that I wasn't ready to exit out of, and Rick knew that my threats to call the police were always empty. It was how he had managed to get away with so much up until this point.

"You're just a little piece of filth," He spat, not relenting his hold on my chin. "Who thinks she can get away with anything around here."

At this, I found that the rage inside me being held back by a dam of fear suddenly snapped and released, causing me to rip myself out of Rick's grasp with a furious cry and clock my fist as hard as I could against the side of his head. Knowing fully well that at this point Daniel was waiting for me out front by the sound of his Trans Am's engine rumbling not too far away, I didn't bother to watch Rick go stumbling into the pathetically tiny dining room table and instead threw open my door. As soon as I began to sprint away from the house I heard the door open again and the familiar cries of my stepfather hot on my heels, so I concentrated all of my remaining efforts into dashing towards Daniel's car idling ten meters away.

"Stop right there, you stupid cunt!" Rick was shouting, and I jumped into the passenger side of Daniel's car just in time for my stepfather to miss his chance to grab me. I locked the door just as Daniel began pulling away, both of us ignoring the 'thud' that no doubt meant Rick had laid a kick in the side of the Trans-Am.

"You're a failure and a whore!" Were the last words out of the stepfather's mouth.

I growled wordlessly, rage building inside me again as my body decided that I had had enough of Rick for today. I flipped around in the passenger seat of Daniel's car and gave my stepfather two middle fingers through the rear window, watching his face twist in fury as he tried to chase after the car.

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, flopping back into my seat as soon as Daniel took a hard left and panting heavily from the leftover adrenaline coursing through my system.

Daniel didn't say anything at first, driving way past the speed limit towards the general direction of the school until we stopped a couple blocks away. He turned the engine off when we had found a free parking spot, resting his forehead against he steering wheel of the car. It took me a moment to realize that he was trembling just as much as I was, and another minute or two to acknowledge that this wasn't fear – it was rage. Daniel was literally vibrating with rage. I had never taken into account how much anger he must have felt seeing me abused like this, despite having seen Rick this way many times. I thought he wasn't going to say anything and was merely taking a break from driving to calm down before school, but then he did something completely unexpected.

Daniel let out the most anguished, tortured, blood curdling scream I had ever heard and literally made me jump a foot in the air before I gaped at my friend in disbelief.

"What the fuck, Daniel!?" I yelped, holding my forehead in shock. I didn't need this right now.

"You can't stay there!" He cried, turning to face me in a sudden fury, and I nearly gasped when I realized there were fresh tears on his cheeks. "You can't, Katherine! Look at what he does! I can't keep -"

A sob suddenly tore itself from his throat, and he slammed his fist down on his dashboard once before holding his head in his hands and continuing to cry.

"I don't know what to do...I don't," He blubbered uselessly as I sat there in astonishment. I didn't know how to process this information. Daniel was crying. My Daniel – my unbreakable Daniel that I had known for so long to be a statue of rebellion and foul play and ways to get by without hurting, was sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't know what else to do besides place a hand on his shoulder. "What did he do?"

"What?" I was staring at my friend in surprise again, a dazed sort of fog intercepting my ability to deal with this situation.

"What did he do to you?" Daniel grabbed my arms and flipped them over, and I let him manhandle me without question as he searched my body for injury. "Come on, Kat – please!"

I gently motioned towards my stomach whilst taking deep breaths to calm myself down, recognizing that one of the symptoms of my panic attacks was distinctiveness. Daniel noted my actions and lifted my shirt, spotting the red mark that would no doubt turn into a bruise by the end of the day. He also noticed that my breathing was increasing in pace rapidly, and deduced that thanks to the traumatic events that had just gone down I was most likely having one of my famously horrid panic attacks.

"Shit," He cursed, hopping out of the drivers seat and leaving me alone in the vehicle for a moment, before I realized that I had gone numb and he was opening the car door on my side. "Katherine? Katherine!"

I couldn't respond.

My lungs were on fire; my arms and legs were on fire; my stomach was on fire. I was on fire and it felt like I couldn't breath. Gasps left my mouth at an inhumane rate, and even though I could feel my chest rising and falling it felt like there was no oxygen in my body at all. My vision was blurry and my fingers and toes were so numb they felt like they were going to fall off any second now. I couldn't grip the leather seat underneath me nor feel anything that my fingers were touching, in fact I couldn't feel anything besides the terrifying thumping of my heart. It was as if the muscle was about to jump out of my chest, and time slowed as I tried to turn my head to look at Daniel to no avail.

It took me a moment to realize that there was a terrifying ringing in my ears as well, and a blockade in my throat that was preventing me from speaking. It wasn't long before Daniel gave up trying to communicate and merely lifted my form from it's place in the passenger seat. My best friend cradled me to his chest like a newborn baby and kicked the door shut with his foot, transporting us both to the backseat where he closed the door and continued to hold me.

It took awhile for my breaths to calm down – I assumed the attack to have gone on for a good fifteen minutes before Daniel was capable of getting my breathing back to normal, but even then I was trembling like a calf and my body was starting to grow cold after the hot flashes that I had been experiencing. I couldn't do anything but stare into nothingness as if it was the most interesting thing I had ever seen and try to focus on Daniel's incoherent mumbling in my ear, praying that the ringing would subside sooner rather than later. It wasn't until ten more minutes had passed that I recognized he was repeating the phrase 'you're alright, you're safe' over and over again.

To let him know that I was somewhat back to normal, I nodded once and tried to swallow once only to cough harshly. I hadn't expected such a dry throat, even after experiencing many panic attacks over the years, and Daniel immediately began to rub my back in response. His actions reminded me of just how lucky I was, and I vaguely realized that the poor boy had been suffering a sort of attack of his own before mine had launched into full force.

"Daniel, I'm sorry," I croaked, apologizing for many things all at once.

"Sorry?" My friend reeled his head back at this, frowning dubiously. "Sorry for what, Kit-Kat? There's nothin' to be sorry for."

"I can't move out," I defended myself weakly, looking up at the dried tears on his cheeks. "I can't call the police. I can't do anything – I just...can't."

Daniel was silent for a long while after that, and he didn't do anything besides lean his head down on mine that was resting in the crook of his shoulder. He still held me in his arms the way a mother would a frightened child, one arm behind my back and the other underneath my knees. At this point in time we didn't care for our tardiness any classes that we were missing, focusing solely on the peace and quiet in the vehicle parked on a calm street that was letting us take our breaths in a very dark period of our lives. But, as with all good times, we knew the moment had to come to an end sooner or later.

"Come on trooper," Daniel laid a kiss on the top of my head after several minutes, ignoring that he hadn't answered my statement and that we hadn't addressed his previous outburst. "Let's get to school." 

* * *

After a particularly uneventful second period – Daniel and I had missed first and our English class had been boring beyond belief – the usual gang, minus Kim for a reason I wasn't aware of, reconvened in the cafeteria to eat lunch. The lack of presence of my blonde friend worried me slightly as I could have used the extra support considering the colossal cluster fuck that was this morning, but I was more than alright with having four out of five friends present.

"Make sure you get somethin' to eat," Daniel mumbled as we lined up to get food, and my stomach clenched once in anxiety and then a second time in pain. There was no doubt a bruise already forming where Rick's fist had implanted itself on my solar plexus this morning.

Daniel hadn't checked for any other injuries like he usually did, which this time around didn't matter considering my stomach was the only one. When we hung out there usually wasn't an absence of words unless something was wrong, in which case we sat in a fair amount of silence like the car incident this morning. Our friendship didn't rely on communication as much as I would have liked it to, but it was nice to have someone to sit beside in total silence and know that neither of you had to say anything for a connection to exist.

I sullenly picked out chocolate milk and some fruit from the lunch line, deciding to ignore the hunger in my stomach. I hadn't eaten my toast because of the fiasco this morning, and my appetite after what had happened had diminished by a fair bit.

After Daniel had acquired his food and we had both purchased our meals, we located Nick, Lindsay and Ken sitting at our table surprisingly accompanied by Sean who was a fellow freak as well as a member of the boys' band. We began to eat after exchanging greetings and smiles, but were interrupted when Millie and Colin, dressed in ridiculous outfits, came to advertise the school play. These two were always the stars of the school's productions, Millie being a mathlete and the perfect Christian model student, while Colin was a virgin who couldn't drive and liked to pretend he could act.

"Hi everyone! If you're just a boy or girl who can't say 'no'…" Millie started, letting Colin, the other geeky drama student, carry on.

"Then you won't be able to say 'no' to tickets to the McKinley High Drama club's presentation of…" Colin waited for someone to ask.

"What? What!?" Nick's sarcastically enthusiastic response prompted Colin to answer his question with a giant grin.

"OKLAHOMA!" Him and Millie spread their arms.

"Oh, no way!" Nick retorted, causing me to let out a giggle or two.

Although it was just poking fun, these types of situations made me feel better and I had Nick to thank for this type of humor. Despite my stomach letting out spurts of complaint, I ignored it in favor of laughing at my friend's antics and how ridiculous Millie and Colin looked in those two awful century old costumes.

"So come on down, partner, but leave the ducks and geese at home!" Colin smiled at us, making me both laugh and swallow down the urge to shake him awake and make him realize that he didn't know he was committing social suicide by standing in front of the whole cafeteria wearing such a horrid costume.

"And oh, what a beautiful evening you'll have! Yeehaw!" Millie delivered the cringe-worth statement, and the two hobbled out of the cafeteria with a weird interpretive dance.

"Alright, tickets are two dollars at the box office – don't miss it! It's a great show!" Mr. Kowcheski finished, and we were finally at peace to finish our lunch with a few final scoffs of disbelief that the school was really letting their students dress up like idiots.

"Hey, you'd look good in that dress," Nick smiled at Lindsay, causing me to snort into my chocolate milk and therefore causing Sean to give me a shove. This was the first time that he had sat with us all week – he usually cut class for work so that he could support his single mother at home, but today he was present.

"Thanks," Lindsay muttered, a bit weirded out but taking the strange compliment.

"Hey, you guys wanna rehearse today?" Nick asked the other three boys sitting at the table.

For a while, him, Ken, Sean and Daniel had been jamming together in Nick's basement with his ridiculous 29-piece drum set. They weren't very good, to put it politely, but with some encouragement and practice they could get better. The problem was that neither Kim nor I were very keen on telling them that they needed to do more work, as we both knew that it would lead to offense and denial that they sounded like shit. So the band lived in ignorance.

"Oh, is this your guys' rock band?" Lindsay was curious to know more about it, and I could almost guess what her face was going to look like when she eventually got the 'privilege' to see them play.

"Yeah, we've gotta audition for battle of the bands comin' up," Nick fist pumped with his 'band mates', and I tried to keep myself from rolling my eyes again. "Winner gets three hundred bucks!"

"I can think of like, a bunch of less time-consuming things that could earn you guys three hundred bucks," I piped up, causing all eyes at the table to turn to me in both curiosity and confusion. "...all of which involve mens genitals." I finished with a playful grin, causing everyone to let out sudden laughs and earning me a good slap on the arm from Daniel.

"Mind out of the gutter, Kitty-kat," He grinned his special grin before we were interrupted by Lindsay.

"I bet you guys are really good," She smiled encouragingly, making me snort once again as I watched Nick beam. This time around, Daniel gave me a dirty look. He knew that the band wasn't classically 'good', but preferred to live the lie rather than admit to someone that they were shit.

"No," Sean shook his head earnestly, apparently have a more honest idea. "I don't think so."

I nodded my head in agreement as Daniel made a face and balled up his napkin, throwing it at Sean's head.

"Do you guys have a name?" Lindsay tried to ignore the antics and pressed on.

"Yeah," Nick leaned back in his seat and beamed, as if he was proud that he was part of a terrible basement band that would never get very far. "'Creation'."

"No, we don't have a name," Daniel smiled patronizingly at Lindsay, ignoring Nick and causing the boy to scoff in frustration.

The boys had debated about several names over the past couple of months, but naturally they couldn't agree on anything and their label was still up in the air. Nick was all hung up over the name 'Creation', but Daniel hated it. Sean wanted to name the band something to do with Death, and of course Ken didn't care whatsoever.

"Come on," Nick complained, tossing his fork down onto his plate like a ten year old. "I liked that name."

Daniel merely raised his brow as if to threaten Nick to challenge him once more on the topic, and after a moment Nick merely rolled his eyes.

"Alright," He gave in, changing the subject. "Anyway – three o'clock for practice?"

"No," Daniel shook his head and continued to eat his orange snowball. "I gotta do something with Kim at three."

"Hey!" Ken hit Daniel on the shoulder with a sly grin, obviously implying dirtiness. "How about three o'one?"

"How about three fifteen?" Daniel took another bite and joked, making me stifle a giggle. "I gotta fit in your mother."

"You wanna sleep with my mom?" Ken feigned a hurt expression and held a hand to his chest in mock horror.

"Mhm," Daniel nodded, still playing along with the joke as he took a gulp of water.

I shook my head, still smiling, and went to dump my unfinished lunch out in the garbage. Unfortunately, I had chosen the same time to stand up as Vicki and her awful table of cheerleaders, who were particularly unfriendly to the community of freaks and/or geeks at McKinley High. They didn't purposely seek anyone out to make them feel bad about themselves, but they were bullies regardless based on their harsh tones and whispers. So, it was better that I tried my best to avoid them and moved quickly.

This was easier said than done however, and I had just started dumping away my food when I heard the first nasty word fly out of a passing Vicki Appleby's mouth.

"Freak."

I didn't care that the word was said in such a malicious way or the negative connotations that were carried with it. What I cared about was how they acted as if they were any higher than Kim, Daniel, Ken, Nick and I with their frilly outfits and horrible attitudes. There was nothing wrong with being a freak; we knew who we were and that we weren't horrible people, and I didn't appreciate the way we were looked down upon as if we were the scum of the earth when Vicki and her posse of friends could be just as bad as Karen sometimes.

"Bitch," I hissed back, uncaring of whether or not the insult was out of her earshot and done with her little games.

"What was that, you little rat?" Vicki's haughty tone retorted from a few feet away, and I could hear several of her friends stop as well.

"You heard me," I spun around bravely on my foot, facing the group of girls that was now staring towards me in disbelief. The girls were younger than me and whilst heavier, didn't look very intimidating with their perfectly curled locks and green ribbons in their hair. "Bitch."

"How dare y-" Her mouth opened in disgust, and as her eyes changed I prepared myself for a battle. Her insult did not come however, because before I knew it Daniel had blocked my vision and was severing the malicious contact between me and Vicki.

"Woah, hey," He laughed nervously, holding a hand out to make sure that I didn't come near the blonde girl who was now staring astoundingly towards Daniel as he addressed her. "Kat didn't mean it – she's havin' a bad day."

"Of course I fucking meant it," I growled, making a beeline for Vicki once again with the intention of shoving her to the floor and teaching her a lesson. "She's got it coming."

Daniel roughly intercepted me and held me tight before this was possible however, ignoring the watchful eyes of several nearby tables as the incident attracted more attention.

"You better watch it," I pointed a vicious finger at the blonde, who I was proud to report had a glimmer of fear in her eyes and was staring at me as if I was some sort of savage. She was speechless and seemed unsure of how to deal with the situation, apparently incapable of dealing with the fact that I had almost jumped her. "You hear me?"

"Calm down Kit-kat," Daniel muttered into my ear as he wordlessly pushed me back to the table, and it wasn't until we sat back down that I realized I was shaking with anger. Just as Daniel had done earlier, I was gripped with the sudden desire to scream out in frustration. The stupid dichotomy of this school drove me insane, and I hated being treated as if I was some kind of bug simply because my friends and I didn't succumb to traditional normal roles.

I watched Vicki like a hawk as she sat down at her own table and began to gossip, staring back at me with wide eyes as if I was some sort of mental patient. In a fit of frustration and pent up rage, I shot her the middle finger before having my hand slapped down by Daniel.

"Come on, Welsh!" He snapped, eyeing the teachers monitoring the cafeteria nervously. Lucky for us, we hadn't seen a thing and it was unlikely Vicki would report the incident. "Leave 'em alone."

"What's going on?" Lindsay was clueless to the situation and clearly concerned, while Nick was quiet as he continued to eat his food.

Our group hadn't had a lot of run-ins with the cheerleaders as they mostly left us alone, but we knew their opinion of us and frequently heard it being whispered as we walked by. Not to mention the looks we received in hallways and classrooms, only adding to our irritation.

"Nothing," I muttered sourly in response to the newest addition, picking at my nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. "Vicki's just a raging thundercunt."

"Watch your mouth, Kit-kat," Daniel tried to hide his smile as Lindsay sputtered at my wording, causing Nick to laugh as well. "I'm tellin' ya. It's filthier than a sailor's."

"I like a sailor," Sean winked at me, causing me to snort at the fact that I couldn't tell whether or not he was being serious. Sean commonly flirted with everything that moved, regardless of the fact that he was shot down a lot.

"Yeah well," Daniel grumbled, opening another snowball that he had miraculously acquired out of nowhere and throwing the wrapper at Sean. "This sailor's off limits. Especially from you."

This statement surprised me, as Daniel hadn't necessarily been protective of my sexuality before. I wasn't sure if it was an instinct designed to shield me from assholes like Sean who would just end up hurting me in the end or if it was just a joke, but Daniel hadn't sounded like he was joking. I watched my friend out of the corner of my eye for a bit after he lapsed into silence, noticing that the rest of the table had taken the comment into stride very lightly and continued with regular conversation. Daniel, on the other hand, had moodily continued to eat his snowball. I wasn't sure if he was pissed because of the cheerleader incident or because of Sean's comment, but before I knew it it didn't matter anymore because I felt a very distinct nausea bubble in my stomach.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath, trying to control my rapidly laboring breathing as I winced from the pain in my solar plexus. "Dammit."

"What?" Nick's voice broke my concentration, and I realized with a start that he had caught my symptoms and my table of friends now had their eyes on me.

"Nothing," I assured as I slowly stood from the table and gripped it for support, not wanting to worry anyone. "I'll see you guys later."

Hoping that I hadn't bothered anyone enough to make them follow me, I made my way through the mass of tables in the cafeteria at a pace that was less than ideal for my poor stomach to read the exit point. As soon as I had breached the doors I immediately turned right, and allowed the nausea burning up my esophagus to finally bubble over and spew out of my mouth into the trash can below. I tried to be as silent as possible, as I was aware of several students in the hallway on their way to the cafeteria, but it was difficult to control my noises when my throat felt like someone was holding a blowtorch to it.

"Katherine?"

"Kim," I croaked in response to the familiar voice as I spat out a large glob of vomit-coated carrot that was wedged in between my teeth.

"Oh boy." Without another word Kim immediately came to my aid from wherever she had come from, holding my hair back into a ponytail. "What happened?"

"Nothing," I groaned as more nausea forced more half-digested chocolate milk and celery out of my stomach. I heaved once more into the trash bin, coughing miserably and retching up the last of the terrible green vegetable.

"It was Vicki," Daniel's voice, growing closer by the minute, I attested. He must have followed me out of the cafeteria, but Kim had found me faster than he had. He withheld the information about this morning, which wasn't as surprising as I thought it would have been. "The little tart got her so mad Kat was shakin'."

"That bitch," Kim growled as I grabbed the sides of the trashcan and vomited into it one last time, appreciating the fact that at least my hair never got puke caked in it thanks to my friends. "I'm gonna kick her ass."

"Don't," I straightened myself and wobbled over to the drinking fountain meters away, voice hoarse. "Please, Kim. Just leave it – she's just ignorant."

"Whatever," Kim rolled her eyes, having let go of my hair in favor of rubbing my back as I drank from the fountain. My eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head in pleasure from the cooling water that refreshed my throat, still stinging thanks to the stomach acid. "What did she even do?"

"Called me a freak," I shrugged as I straightened once more, acknowledging that whilst I had been mad at the time of the incident I had calmed down now and saw that it wasn't a big deal. I had Daniel to thank for that realization. "It was nothing. Anyway, where were you all morning?"

Kim thankfully accepted the turn of conversation and walked with me down the hall, Daniel flanking me on my other side. She explained how her car had run out of gas on the way to school, and she had been forced to part on a random block and hitchhike the rest of her way. Kim then complained about how both her and Daniel's cars were on the fritz, and how it was unfair that the junkyard always seemed to have scraps for his Trans Am but never for her Gremlin. Daniel joked that the skies were in his favor, but Kim and I both seriously assumed that he had been born with a serious streak of luck in his bones.

"You're coming tonight, right?" He asked as soon as Kim had reached her locker and had quieted to focus on grabbing the right textbooks for the afternoon.

"To Nick's?" I clarified, raising my brow. I hadn't exactly wanted to attend the infamous band practices that went on once a month, but I realized that I didn't have an excuse and found myself nodding before I knew it. "Sure. I'll come."

Although I was reluctant to accept the offer, it wasn't like I had anything else to do tonight. I certainly wasn't going to go back home, and if there were anyone that I would want to stay with tonight it would have been my friends. My mind replayed the scene with my stepfather from this morning, causing me to cringe and remember why my stomach was so sore. I almost seemed like the calm dilemma in my parent's chaotic lives, threatening to stable the imbalance that was a daily occurrence in my house.

I shook my head and refused to think about what had happened this morning, instead following Daniel to English and taking water breaks every fifteen minutes to ensure that I wouldn't puke again. Before I knew it the day had passed by relatively calmly despite the traumatic morning, and we were on our way to Nick's house with Lindsay to watch the boys practice. Kim had skipped fourth period to go fetch her car and fill it up with gas, so half of us traveled with her and the other half in Daniel's Trans Am.

As soon as we got to the basement and the band started playing, I managed to slink away into the backyard where Nick's father couldn't spot me if I stayed below a certain height. The man wasn't home until late tonight – hence the night for practicing – and I used this occasion to dig deep into my bag and pull out the little tin cigarette holder where I stashed my pre-rolled joints. The convenient idea had once come from my mother, it being the last good idea she had shown me before she had reduced into alcoholism and utter emotional demolition.

I quickly lit up, glad that I didn't need to share, and watched the birds flutter around the trees surrounding Nick's parents' home in peace. It was difficult to ignore the awful music coming from Nick's basement, but the pot was helping and before I knew it I couldn't even hear Ken's awful 'singing' anymore. Unfortunately this didn't work out too well in my favor in the end, because after a good half our of practice there was the sound of an engine in the driveway that I didn't realize was Mr. Andopolis' car until a good minute or two. Thankfully his footsteps carried away from the backyard, but he would no doubt smell the marijuana if he opened the windows and I decided that it was high time to get out of Nick's place.

"Shit," I murmured, taking one last drag off the finished joint and snuffing it out under a large pile of dirt.

I opened the door to the basement as quickly as possible and let myself back in, only to find everyone packing their things and leaving. Without even giving me time to ask what was happening Kim explained that Nick's father had arrived home and that Nick was staying behind to 'chat' with him. Lindsay was going to wait, and the rest of us were apparently going to get food from the drive-thru where Sean worked and could get us discounts. I was on board with this plan and happily piled into Daniel's car, grinning slyly at the fact that Lindsay had chosen to stay behind and wait for Nick. That was quite the sacrifice, considering Nick and his father's meetings were extraordinary for continuing on for awhile.

Daniel drove me, Sean and his guitar to where Sean's drive-thru was located whilst Kim drove her Gremlin to make sure it was still working safely. Besides, she hadn't wanted to leave it at Nick's overnight – especially not with his father there. There were several complaints that I smelt like pot and hadn't shared, causing me to roll my eyes as Daniel urged for me to cough a joint up. I reluctantly did so, letting my friends reach the same levels of peacefulness that I was currently cruising at.

We watched Sean dart into the back of the store with the two dollars that Daniel had grumbled about forking over for a soda, coming out ten minutes later with a large bag filled with burgers and fries. As soon as the boy had come out we reconvened on the hood of our friends' cars once more, and I watched my friends munch into their food happily whilst I sipped on the extra large soda that we were all sharing. There was little conversation until most of the burgers were gone, at which point we talked about movies and music for awhile until the topic shifted to the band and its progress.

"I don't see where Nick wants to go with this," Sean nervously flitted his eyes around to the rest of us. "I don't see Creation going anywhere."

"Not Creation!" Daniel reminded, this time throwing a fry at our friend's head.

"Nick just keeps getting more and more intense with it," Ken took the last bite of his burger and shook his head. "It's like a weird obsession."

"That may be so," I piped up from my spot leaning up against the windshield of Kim's Gremlin, still holding the giant cold soda in my hands. "But it's either this or the army for Nick. He's got no chance in getting his grades up with all the pot he smokes."

"Yeah," Kim agreed. "And he's not gonna wake up and smell the roses anytime soon, so he'll probably just keep trying to be a famous drummer."

"Right," Daniel snorted, obviously doubting Nick's potential or drive to get better. "He's gonna choose what he can't get to..."

"Well, if he works hard enough and actually takes some lessons," I mused, twirling the french fry Kim had handed me – with a very pleading look, might I add – between my fingers. "He could be pretty good."

"Yeah – speaking of lessons," Kim suddenly approached me with her carton of fries, causing me to lean back for a moment. "I need to give you a lesson on how to eat. This is your first meal in like, days."

Despite my squeal of surprise Kim grabbed a handful of French fries and shoved them in my face, causing them to rain down my front. I barked out a laugh and did the same for her, elapsing us into a mini food battle that everyone joined in on with their leftover food – much to Sean's chagrin. A couple minutes later, we were joined by both Nick and Lindsay, who, much to Sean's displeasure, forced him to get them free eats as well. He hesitantly made his way into the employee's section and disappeared once again, coming out with two more burgers.

"So guys, I was thinking," Nick butted into our conversation eagerly as soon as he had finished eating, drawing the attention onto himself. "We should rehearse again sometime soon."

"Practice again?" Ken frowned, and I slurped my coke whilst watching the exchange with an interested gaze.

"Why not?" Daniel agreed, sliding his arm around Kim and finishing the last of his burger. "Jammings always fun. Can't hurt, right?"

"It can't hurt 'cause you guys suck." I snorted to myself, blowing bubbles into the soda that no one else was going to drink from. I hadn't expected anyone to listen, but when Sean began to laugh and Nick shook his head in retaliation I realized that my comment had been heard. And unfortunately, it earned me a playful slap on the forehead from Daniel himself. 

* * *

Despite Nick's enthusiasm for frequent musical get-togethers, the next band practice was just as awful as the first.

The bass was atrocious, the guitar was just plain awful and I couldn't say anything for Ken's vocals besides the fact that they would have cleared out an entire stadium instead of had them chanting for him. It was like Alice Cooper's first days all over again – the man had been made famous for his disgusting way of singing, and Ken was rocking the house in that category. I couldn't even laugh at Lindsay's expression considering how shocked I was that they had somehow gotten even _worse _after the last practice.

Of course, I wasn't going to tell them any of this.

It was very important that Nick had his fun before he was shipped off to some naval base in the middle of nowhere, as there was no way that he was succeeding as a drummer and there was no way that he was getting his grades up unless by some miracle. It did, however, seem as though Lindsay was trying to help him achieve his dreams because when the boys finished their song Nick stood with a somber face and exchanged a peculiar glance with her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lindsay give him a subtle shake of her head.

"Hey – uh, listen guys," Nick awkwardly tugged on his shorts, clearly not used to being in command. "That wasn't very good. Let's try it again."

"What?" Ken stared at the drummer behind him in awe, disbelief ringing in his voice no doubt because of the fact that in all of the bands' sessions, no one had ever suggested that they repeat a song.

"Let's, uh, let's try 'Sunshine of Your Love' again." Nick repeated himself.

"We just played it man," Daniel pointed out to his friend, bright red electric guitar still strung around his neck as he turned to face Nick. "Why would we do it again?"

"'Cause, uh, it wasn't right, man," Nick tried to defend himself weakly, statement growing in strength as he continued along. "It was really sloppy, and it didn't really sound anything like the record."

Well, he had a good point there. No one could argue for a moment, but the silence was quickly interrupted by Daniel who obviously felt very differently about the fact that Nick was trying to get everyone to run through the song once more.

"I don't care what the record sounds like, okay?" He challenged Nick firmly, making me frown at his tone. It wasn't so much that he was battling Nick, more that his voice was growing ruder. "We play it the way we play it."

"Are you still buying pot from the same guy?" Ken asked before Nick could retort to Daniel, obviously not ruling out substance for his friend's strange behavior.

"You mean me?" Sean joked, trying to lighten the mood to no avail.

"Look, you guys, I just wanna play the song right, y'know?" Nick seemed sincere, and considering none of the other band members had parents who ran a tight ship like Mr. Andopolis, they weren't going to take this 'band' thing as seriously as he did.

"Look, any way that we play is the right way." Daniel snapped, and I jumped a bit from my spot in between Kim and Lindsay at his tone. This caused Kim's hand to land on my back in comfort, and I could sense her glare at Daniel. She didn't like it when he yelled either, but Kim was a hypocrite in terms of her harsh tones and so was I.

"Not if we wanna get into battle of the bands -" Nick protested, and I found myself wanting to plug my ears. This argument was getting worse and I didn't want to get stuck in the middle of a tornado when it hit.

"I could give a crap about battle of the bands!" Daniel finally yelled, interrupting him and causing me to let out a shaky breath. If I was getting angry at some stupid cheerleaders it was one thing, but when my rocks – my precious friends surrounding me – started to crumble themselves it was disturbing. Not that they were at the same level as Rick, but it was awful to see them breach the tip of that iceberg. "Who cares!?"

There was a moment of silence, and suddenly Kim's hand on my back felt like the warmest thing in the world.

"You were right, Lindsay." Nick's crestfallen expression had taken on a look of bitterness, and the brunette beside me was wide eyed as everyone turned to her.

"Right about what?" Daniel questioned the girl, eyes flitting to Kim and I for a split second where guilt broke through the frustration. He must have spotted my somewhat less-than-comfortable face and Kim's pissed off expression.

"Please," Ken spoke into the microphone once it was apparent that a very discomforted Lindsay wasn't going to respond. "Do tell."

"Look – I'll tell you," Nick broke in, finally going out on a limb and ranting to us whilst flailing his arms about. "It's that you guys don't care. Maybe you're just screwing around, but I – I want us to be good, y'know? I'm tired of sucking at everything in my life! And I wanna nail that audition, alright? But we're not gonna nail the audition unless we play the songs over and over and over again until they're perfect. Alright, _Daniel_?"

Nick left an emphasis on his friend's name, glaring at him pointedly. "So can we play the song right? Once?"

Daniel didn't respond for a good few seconds, only gazing at his friend with a clenched jaw and an expression I couldn't place. Lindsay seemed to be trying to disappear into herself; something that I had to admit I'd tried to do before. I was familiar with the feeling of being the bringer of unfortunate and factual news. Reality sucked. Nick's band sucked. The truth hurt, but secrets hurt even more.

"Please? Alright?" Nick repeated to prompt the boys into motion once more.

"Alright," It was then that Daniel moved his fingers onto the frets of his guitar once more. "Let's play the stupid songs."

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey!" Nick nearly exploded as the guitar began to strum out the opening chords to 'Sunshine of Your Love' by Cream. "Did you hear any sticks, man? Wait for my sticks, alright?"

"Gee, this is really fun, guys," Ken's sarcastic tone made Lindsay shrink into her seat even further, and his thumbs up didn't help the overall mood at all. Everything was tense and strange, an attitude that I wasn't used to with my friends. "I'm glad we have a band."

They began to play again, and I had to admit, it wasn't as bad as the first time around. It was a bit more relaxed and mellowed down, but at least it didn't sound like cows stuck in a meat grinder. Kim yawned, and although I was still rather upset with the way that their conversation had gone down I found myself relaxing. The song still didn't sound anything like Cream, but it was definitely better than the first time around the block.

"Wow," Daniel snorted as soon as the last lines were finished. "That sucked."

"Royally," Sean agreed, both boys detaching themselves from Nick's speakers and flinging the wires away.

"No, hey!" Nick rose from his stool in protest, disbelieving that his friends could really think that it sounded worse than the original few times the song had been played. "It sounded better!"

"Yeah," Lindsay agreed, shooting Nick an encouraging smile. "It really did sound better."

"Oh, did it, _Lindsay?_" Daniel spat, making me recoil in shock at the sheer venom in his voice. Again, Kim was quick to lay a hand on my wrist and Daniel looked between us nervously before stalking forwards and roughly placing his guitar in its case. "Do you approve?"

"Come on, Daniel." Lindsay scoffed, as if she didn't understand that he was truly upset.

"I'm outta here," Daniel grumbled and began to put away his guitar, tone significantly softer for a reason that I was fairly certain I could guess.

"You're a piece of work, Lindsay." Kim hit Lindsay on the shoulder and got up to leave, gently prompting me to follow. I was torn for a moment, unsure of which party to go with whilst it seemed that our family was splitting apart. "Come on, Kath."

"Daniel, where're you going?" Nick asked as if Daniel was just tricking him and the two would hug it out the next minute.

"Anywhere." Daniel's tone was cold and hard this time around, sending a shiver down my spine. I didn't like this Daniel.

"We need to rehearse more, Daniel!" Nick yelled, making me jump and causing Kim to finally snap, forcefully helping me out of the seat on the couch. I didn't realize it until I was standing, but I was frozen solid.

"No, you needa rehearse more!" Daniel yelled right back, slight accent beginning to come out as an indication of his frustration. No matter what Kim was murmuring into my ear I couldn't move, and it didn't take long for her to realize that I was in the midst of a rapidly brewing panic attack. "We needa get outta here."

"I hate this song now, we've played it like, six times," Ken complained loudly, packing away Nick's mic and placing it in it's usual spot on top of the stereo. "I never wanna hear it again."

"It sounded better..." Nick weakly argued as a last resort, desperate at this point to stop his friends from leaving.

"Who cares, man?" Sean butted in, shrugging as he packed away his bass. "We're in a paneled basement, not the Silverdome."

Kim continued to murmur into my ear, but at this point all I could focus on was the argument and the fact that I was literally frozen solid in panic. No matter what my blonde friend was saying nothing was going through, and even I didn't seem to register my breaths growing faster and faster.

"You know, you and _Yoko_ here are turning music into school," Daniel motioned to Lindsay, eyes narrowing viciously and not realizing just how awful his attitude was getting. At this point I didn't care about what they were fighting about; I just didn't like how they were doing it. "What are you gonna do, start handing out band homework?"

"I just wanna play the song right Daniel!" Nick's finally shouted, causing me to finally crack.

The minute the first sob flew out of my mouth my frozen limbs learned how to move again, and in a fit of panic I found myself ripping my body from Kim's grasp and propelling myself towards Nick's basement door. I couldn't take another minute of this arguing, and I didn't want to seem silly for crying, so the only thing in my fight or flight ridden mind that seemed like a sensible option was to run. Run like I did from my 'parents', run like I did from my classrooms, and run like I did from all the overdue assignments and responsibilities that would forever haunt me. There were various shouts of confusion as I left, some of them forming into my name, but I shut them out and sprinted out of Nick's home, bag left forgotten in the back seat of Daniel's car.

I didn't care that I was abandoning my friends for the evening, nor did I care that they would most likely be afraid of where I had gone off to. All I cared about was getting as far away from the argument as possible – as far away from the crumbling pillars of support that were supposed to be the ones holding me up instead of tearing each other down – and if that meant sprinting as fast as I could through Nick's neighborhood I would do it. If it meant sprinting towards the only open road I could think of and following the flow of cars, I would do it. And I did it. I ran until my lungs were on fire and my muscles were screaming in exhaustion, crying out for me to take pity on them.

And then I ran some more.

My mind was completely shut off as I pushed myself to the limit that my body could take me, flying past intersections and ignoring the beeping of car horns as I sprinted to wherever my feet could take me. I wanted to get out of this stupid city; get away from my parents and away from anyone who would ever yell over something stupid again. I wanted to be alone and wanted to be immersed in a crowd at the same time. I wanted to drown and heave oxygen through my lungs. I wanted silence and screaming in my ears. At this point it didn't matter because all I could hear was rushing either way.

I hadn't acknowledged that I was running out my panic attack and exhausting it by literally taking advantage of the fight or flight mechanism in my brain, choosing to run from what was making me anxious. The noises of my friends' yelling still stuck in the back of my head and repeated mercilessly, merely serving to allow me to increase my pace as I began to approach another busy intersection and crossed it, this time conveniently crossing when the lights were blinking for pedestrians to walk. I didn't heed people's strange facial expressions to the fact that I was sprinting everywhere and continued on, uncaring of who I inconvenienced by making them jump out of my way.

I ran until I reached Walcott bridge, limbs trembling with exhaustion as I continued to sprint on the pedestrian walkway. When I got about halfway across the bridge I stopped, realizing that my exercise hadn't helped the attack and that my mind was still reeling. Traffic honked all around me, the busy bridge absolutely bustling with cars and busy beyond belief. It was madness and peacefulness all at once. I couldn't hear myself thing in this terrible noise, and I found myself darting across traffic and slipping in between lanes without a single thought in my head. The noise was marvelous.

I stood in the very middle of the bridge, not heeding to the honks of the cars that zoomed past and knowing fully well that I was safe where the divider across six lanes – three of which travelling in the opposite direction I had come from – was marked. The roadway was huge and provided cars a popular alternate route to get home, and realizing that it was around rush hour I acknowledged that somewhere in the back of my panicked mind I had stored the information that this bridge would have been very busy at this very hour.

"Katherine!"

I didn't even realize my name was being shouted.

To be completely fair I hadn't expected to be followed this far – it was hard for a car to track a sprinting human being when they were darting in and out of traffic like an insane mouse, but I had to give it to Daniel. He was a good driver, and he knew where to find me. After all, this wasn't the first time that I had run to this bridge seeking peace in between all this maddening noise. Daniel hated Walcott bridge for that very reason; it was polluted, congested with traffic, fast moving and most of all, dangerous for pedestrians.

So I could only imagine his reaction when he spotted me, a hundred pound female that looked as though she could be swept away any minute by the wind, standing in the middle of the divided road like a total mental case. I didn't know how he managed to avoid the traffic like I had, but before I knew I was actually aware of his shouting and in that very moment it almost seemed as though I could snap out of this terrible mind state that I had been trying so hard to run away from only to let it catch up with me. Unfortunately, the ringing only got worse.

And then everything collapsed.

Any remaining energy was lost as I crumpled to the ground, knees clacking against the pavement painfully as I slumped pitifully and continued to hyperventilate. The white dash separating the two lanes of the bridge warped dangerously, and I found myself frowning at it as I tried to catch my breath only to realize that I was hallucinating. Bright colors and swirls caused me to blink rapidly in succession, head lolling back and forth as I panted miserably and tried to catch my ever dying breath.

Then, in what was probably the scariest moment of my life, my entire world went black.

The last sensation I had was of a warmth behind my knees, and I found myself shocked that I hadn't hit the concrete and cracked like an egg. There was nothing but swaying and swinging in my subconsciousness as I slept soundly, at peace in what seemed to be those few seconds of pitch darkness before I was barely awake once more. I could hardly open my eyes let alone speak, and the minute I opened them any light coming into my pupils immediately caused me to close them again.

In and out of consciousness I faded for what seemed to be a lifetime, brain refusing to cooperate until hours later. When I awoke permanently, groggy and confused sitting in the back of Daniel's car strewn across Kim and Ken's lap, I nearly fainted in shock. Every single cell in my body was exhausted, void of energy that had been drained in my emotional and physical strain to fight the panic that had been flowing through me. It took a few moments for me to properly come to, but I realized that someone was repeating something over and over again in a dazed mantra.

"Kitty-kat?"

Kim.

"Everything is going to be okay."

Daniel.

"Everything is going to be okay."

Daniel.

"Daniel!"

Now Kim, shouting at him.

"Everything is going to be okay." 

* * *

"Yeah, no, I'm serious, guys," Kim was speaking about a week later as we all crowded around a picnic table on the patio. "I think my mom wants to come see the band play or something."

Everything had finally cleared up between our group of friends. After the band had quit the mood had been sour for awhile, and Nick had bitterly auditioned for a band called 'Dimension', only to fail miserably at the audition and not make the cut. He was a little bit more realistic about his goals now, and had agreed to work a bit harder in school to please his father. His drums were still his hobby, but at least this time around he agreed to make up with the boys as long as they promised to at least play some songs twice to properly practice them.

"When she gets outta rehab?" Daniel smirked loosely, shoving Kim and poking fun at her mother.

"Oh, shut up!" Kim laughed, making me smile softly alongside her from my corner spot.

I watched the smoke from my cigarette exit my nostrils and furl around the table before my eyes flitted towards an arriving Lindsay and Nick. I joined in as well, my cigarette resting in between my lips.

My incident had not been spoken about considering only Ken, Daniel and Kim knew about it, and I tried to keep quiet about my mental condition once more. We all sort of internalized what had occurred and simply decided to put it past us, knowing that talking about it would only drive us further insane and just deciding that it was best to keep tabs on each other silently rather than communicate about it. Ken, luckily had not revealed my secret about how I had called him a couple months ago on the phone and continued to keep it on the down low. My strange behavior had taken most of its toll out on Daniel, who was extra concerned about me.

"Hey!" Daniel applauded cheekily, distracting me as he ruffled Nick's hair. He often liked to hide how he truly felt. "Ringo Starr!"

"You finally got your wish, Nick! You're as good a drummer as John Bonham!" Ken exclaimed, as sarcastic as ever before deadpanning, "Of course, he's dead."

"You should've seen the looks on those guys' faces though man," Nick laughed, poking fun at himself. "I think I ruined their love of music forever."

It was good that he was getting over his negative experiences; I was glad that he was feeling better and perhaps this was an indication that things were starting to work out after all. Unfortunately, I couldn't say the same thing for myself. My weird experience had completely changed my mind state, leading me to believe that my anxiety was getting worse and that my mental health was taking a turn for the horrible. I had never been so frightened in my life, and this was one point in time where I wasn't sure that my friends could help me with whatever was coming next.

"Hey," Sean looked up at Nick teasingly, completely shaking me out of my thoughts. "Is _Dimension _gonna charge you for the pee stain you left on their drum seat?"

"Shut up." Daniel slapped our friend lazily on the cheek, effectively silencing him. "Hey man, _Dimension _sucks anyway. I saw 'em open up for _Toll_ – they got booed off the stage."

"Thanks a lot, man." Nick shared a fist bump with Daniel, appreciating the support.

They began to discuss new songs that they could play together, and I smiled at the thought that things were fully patched up. Kim suddenly raised and declared that she had to take a piss, and I raised one brow as I watched her and Lindsay take off together. I knew what it was about.

Nick had had Daniel, Sean, Ken, Kim and I over last night to iron out some details – mostly about him and Lindsay and how they were now in an apparent relationship after she had kissed him throughout the week. I wasn't too interested in their relationship, but it seemed Kim cared quite a bit more than I did. So, shrugging and trying to pay attention to Nick complaining about the Ramones' chords, I placed the incident out of my mind. Unfortunately, there was another feeling in my stomach that I couldn't wash away so easily, and it was coming at full force.

I started to gag silently, cigarette still in hand as I leaned away from the table to prepare for the inevitable clenching of my stomach. I couldn't say anything, simply going along with the back and forth movement of my head as I inhaled through my nostrils and focused on trying to soothe the vomit building up in my stomach. Daniel finally noticed my head rearing like a sick dog, and called my name once. It wasn't until he called it for a second time that I heard him.

"Katherine?"

I could only groan once in return before I began to truly dry heave, and my stomach contracted only to give out seconds later. The awful noises of vomit hitting the ground caused several of my friends to grimace, all but Daniel who had been quick enough to grasp my hear and pull it back out of my face.

"Lovely," I could almost hear the cringe in Ken's facial expression, and I could feel more sets of eyes on me from the rest of the freaks around the patio. It wasn't as if this didn't occur often, but I usually managed to aim for a trash bin as opposed to the cement floor that people walked on.

I spit once into the pile of barf strewn pathetically at my side, feeling Daniel release my locks of hair and sit back down across from me with an unreadable expression on his face. I tried to calmly resume my smoking, but there was no denying that I was trembling like a leaf and that many people were staring at me in a shocked silence before awkwardly averting their gazes and trying to resume normal conversation. I focused on keeping my expression hard and stoic, but there was only so much I could do against the several silent tears that escape. I only glanced at the cigarette a couple of times to observe the tiny fire going on inside the Marlboro stick as I blurred out the world outside of me.

"Katherine."

My head snapped to the sound of Daniel's voice.

"You're not okay." He confirmed, and I shook my head from side to side in confirmation as I continued to smoke. Ken and Nick were still staring at me in frozen disbelief, clear worry etched into their faces as well.

I was most definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent, without a doubt _not_ okay.


	8. Chapter 7 - Carded and Discarded

**Carded and Discarded**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

"There's two ways you can look at anything in this life."

That was for damned sure.

It was a Monday morning, and I couldn't believe that Mr. Rosso had done the impossible and managed to drag our entire group of freaks in for a nice get together before school started. Originally we had been called in separately, only to discover that he had coordinated the whole thing on Friday evening and had been wanting to sit down and give us a motivational chat for awhile. Unfortunately Rosso had the capability of getting a little skewed during his talks, something that I was sure we were going to experience today. The first meeting I had with him had ended up with him bragging to me about how many baskets he could shoot, and the last meeting I had with him had ended up with him trying to explain one of his crazy conspiracy theories.

Either way, speaking to the man was strange, and I wasn't particularly excited to be there. Ever since my incident Kim and Daniel had been watching me like hawks, making sure that I was getting something to eat whenever I was around them and trying to lessen my smoking. Originally I had had to sit Daniel down and have a talk with him about how I hadn't known what I was doing running to the bridge, and had to assure him again and again that I didn't want to kill myself. Ken had unfortunately spilled the beans at that time and told him about our phone call, sending Daniel into another reeling pit of shock that I had to lift him out of. I hadn't known that my friends had been so concerned with me; this month had opened my eyes to how much I affected the lives of the people around me, and I had to admit that it was a wonderful feeling to know that so many truly cared about me.

I had been spending less and less time at my own home and more and more time at my friend's, even though I hadn't officially 'moved out' yet. Because of this my mental health experienced a bit of a boost, and although the nervous vomiting was still a problem I had managed to ease my mind for the time being as long as I promised Kim and Daniel that I would warn them when I was having a panic attack. This plan seemed relatively airtight besides the fact that sometimes my attacks caught me off guard, but I rode on the possibility that I would most likely be around my friends and wasn't too concerned.

"Take my job, for instance," Mr. Rosso pulled me out of my thoughts with his ongoing speech, and I tiredly redirected my unimpressed gaze to the man's long, bearded face. "I could get up every morning and go: 'Ugh, I don't wanna get up and go help a bunch of kids – I'm tired' – but I don't! I get up, and I put on my shirt and tie, and I say; 'Hot dog! Lemme at 'em'!"

"You actually say the words, 'Hot dog'?" Ken questioned. I smiled into the palm of my hand, trying to balance the bouncing of my leg. I hadn't gotten very good sleep lately, and as a result my nerves were acting up.

"Yes, I do," Mr. Rosso brought us back to the point of 'struggles', which quite frankly I didn't want to hear about at this point. "And I know you're struggling. That's what they made guidance counselors for! To help you and remind you of how to take things more positively!"

"Ok," I licked my lips and spoke up, causing every single set of eyes in Rosso's office to slide towards me. "Let me try."

Kim, sensing that I was about to play my sarcasm card, snickered into her hand. Lindsay looked plain confused, not expecting my cheekiness, but she would learn my personality soon enough. I didn't react well to Mr. Rosso's motivational lectures, and it seemed that the man still didn't get the message.

"Go ahead," Rosso smiled coolly, waving a hand. "Let the positivity flow!"

"'Hot dog'!" I quoted happily, plastering a tight lipped smile on my face and hoping that our guidance counselor would understand how annoying these meetings were based on my sarcastic and very mocking tone. "I could have slept for another hour this morning, but I'm _glad_ that I had to come to school early and sit down with Mr. Rosso to talk about absolutely nothing important!"

There were muffled snickers from my friends around me as I finished, holding my smile for just a second longer and watching Mr. Rosso sigh in impatience before rebounding.

"I know you might think this isn't fun," He sighed, now speaking towards the group as a whole whose gazes revealed impatience and disinterest. "But trust me, this can help you in the long run. Now, I understand you've all just been through puberty – and hey, you guys are so tall I'm surprised you fit through that door, quite frankly."

"Yes," I sighed impatiently as I bit on a fingernail, making Daniel slap my hand out of my mouth. "Unfortunately, we did make it through the door, and now we're here. What's your point?"

"Point is," Our guidance counselor carried on, giving me a pointed look that signaled me to shut up and stop interrupting. "A lot of times you might see, maybe you're taking a shower or something and you go 'what are these'? 'What's that'? But you feel alone and confused."

He motioned to his armpits and looked towards his nether regions, and just as Lindsay's mouth dropped in horror I realized that this was the very scenario that caused all of my meetings with Rosso to become so skewed in the past. This was the very reason I didn't like to come and sit in this office and try to stumble through a demented conversation with this jesus-lookalike.

"Oh my god," I murmured under my breath, eyes widening at the fact that Rosso was going off topic and divulging in an area of conversation that was positively horrifying. On either side of me I could feel Kim and Daniel tense up.

"And you don't think anyone understands," Rosso seemed to finish for a moment, but the worst wasn't over and Kim had a sort of knowing smile on her face that led me to believe the man was going to hammer his message home with a bang. "Well, I do...lot's of people do. Even Mr. Alice Cooper."

Reaching behind him, Mr. Rosso pulled out a guitar and placed it in his lap. I rose a brow, wondering how the hell he was going to connect our 'changing bodies' with a famous rock and roll star. Lindsay looked like she was trying to turtle herself in her jacket, and I found myself associating with the urge as I buried myself further into one of Daniel's spare motorcycle jackets. I had accidentally left my army jacket at Kim's after a weekend of partying while her parents had taken a 'vacation' in Benton Harbor.

"I bet you guys don't think he's a square, do you?" Rosso looked towards us questioningly, obviously trying to pull from our interests.

"No man," Nick sat up slightly in his seat, and I found myself rolling my eyes. Leave it to the stoner to get hooked on a guidance counselor's infamous tactic. "Alice Cooper rocks."

"So you know this song, then?" Rosso asked before breaking out into song, singing the opening lines of Alice Cooper's 'Eighteen' and strumming the chords on his black acoustic guitar.

Ken looked absolutely horrified, but surprisingly Mr. Rosso wasn't all that bad at the guitar. Alice Cooper had definitely seen better days, but our guidance counselor wasn't an awful singer, and he paid the song enough justice. Undoubtedly however, there would have been homeless people begging for money with their guitars that could have played the song better.

"..._I'm in the middle, without any plans_," Rosso sang along without a problem in the world that all of us were staring at him in a fit of shock, noses slightly scrunched up in a mixture of confusion and disgust. "_I'm a boy –_ or girl – _and I'm a man –_ or woman!"

I shook my head in disbelief at his breaks in the song to include gender equality, temporarily covering my face with my hands to try and check if I was dreaming or if this nightmare was really happening. This wasn't how I had expected my morning to go, and I had already missed my chance to have my cigarette before first period so I really wasn't enjoying Rosso's interlude at the moment.

"_I'm eighteen_," He continued, making me cringe at the slight crack in his voice, and I could feel Daniel heave a shaky sigh of pain that I was sure resonated within all of us as one of our favorite songs was ruined. "_I get confused every day, eighteen I just don't know what to say, _come on Nick! Fill in those drums there, will ya?"

Nick, the only one out of our group with a large grin on his face, began to air drum happily as Rosso continued strumming the chords along without a doubt in his mind as to how strange this whole scenario was. Of course, it was just a typical guidance counselor assumption that your students thought you were 'hip' and 'cool' like them, but I felt as though Rosso somehow knew that we found him odd and basked in that knowledge whilst trying to make us even more uncomfortable.

"Aw, yeah! You guys know what I'm talkin' about?" Rosso let a large smile overcome his face, trying to ignore the way Ken was near tears at the sound of Alice Cooper's wonderful music being butchered forever. "_Oh..._"

The bell thankfully rang minutes later, saving our group from the fate of Mr. Rosso's never-ending music and causing me to bolt off of the couch.

"I can't – ugh, I just...ugh," I made several more noises of complaint as I made a beeline for the door, being the first person out of Rosso's office and passing straight by reception to exit into the hallway. "My god. That was excruciating."

"God, that was brutal!" Kim whined alongside we finally got away from Rosso's earshot and down the hall.

"Tell me about it," Daniel still had a partially shocked look on his face, and Ken looked as though he would never recover.

"I've never hated Alice Cooper as much as I do right now," His eyes were wide in horror, and I was surprised to see that he even had a bead of sweat on his brow.

"Guys, Mr. Rosso's really good at the guitar," Nick butted in, causing all four of us – Lindsay had been called back to speak with Mr. Rosso privately – to look back at him in concern. Had he hit his head on his way into Mr. Rosso's office? "Some of those chords are really hard!"

"Right," I snorted, reaching my locker and stopping there to get out some books. "And I'm the bloody Queen of England." 

* * *

"You know, every old person thinks they're so smart," Daniel complained later that day when we are all sitting around picnic benches on the patio. It was our lunch break, and the topic had shifted from how our first two periods had gone to Mr. Rosso's earlier meeting. "What, there's like no dumb old people?"

We all huffed in agreement, knowing fully well that some of our parents proved that age didn't necessarily make you smarter. Sure, time was good for experiences, but only if you learned from them. A truly intelligent person would take each and every experience and extract every bit of knowledge possible from it – and there was no way in the world that every single old person had done that. Age did not always qualify as intelligence.

"I just wanna be older so I can go to bars," Ken proclaimed from his spot behind Daniel, Kim and I. He'd been gazing at the sky silently for the past couple of minutes, lying back on the table with his hands behind his head. "Everything fun in this world happens at bars."

"Yeah, man, I hear there's this kick-ass band, _Feedback_, playing at the Rusty Nail tomorrow night. But they're gonna card, so I mean," Nick shrugged in frustration, making a noise of irritation. "What can I do?"

"Hm," Kim smirked at me from where I sat beside her, silently smoking a cigarette. "Maybe Kit-kat and I will go."

"Oh, you guys better shut up," Nick huffed in mock annoyance, causing Kim and I to giggle. "Just 'cause you've got a fake ID's don't go lording it out of the rest of us."

"You guys have fake ID's?" Lindsay's mouth fell open in shock as if this sort of thing was scandalous, and I found myself frowning before I remembered that for people raised like her, this sort of thing wasn't considered statistically normal.

"Yeah, you wanna check it out?" Kim handed Lindsay her ID, which had been her cousin's old driver's license. It looked identical to Kim, so of course she had no problems getting into clubs or bars. Mine had been almost the same deal, besides the fact that it was from Sean's older brother who had moved away a couple years ago, but I had snagged him just in time to create the perfect ID with my picture in it. Chris had perfected the art of plagiarism, one of the factors that got him into the counterfeit business, which was one of the reasons he was serving jail time at the moment.

"Wow! It looks exactly like you!" Lindsay's eyes widened at Kim's ID before she redirected her gaze towards the birth date on it. "But it says you're twenty four..."

"So?" Kim snagged her ID back bitterly, as if she was insulted that Lindsay didn't think she looked old enough to pull the card off. "I look mature. Nobody ever stops me."

"What about you, Katherine?" Lindsay jutted her chin out towards me, and I held my cigarette in between my lips as I frowned and searched my pockets for my runaway ID. Daniel took this opportunity to lean across Kim and snag the cigarette out of my lips to take a couple drags of it himself.

I made a whine of protest before finding my wallet and giving my ID to Lindsay, who looked equally shocked when she saw that the photo on the card was exactly the same as my face.

"That's you!" Lindsay's eyebrows rose, and I nodded my head back and forth as I smiled awkwardly as if I was greeting a bouncer. "but how?"

"Sean's brother used to make 'em," I shrugged, taking the ID back from Lindsay who was now nodding. "got him to do it just before he moved away."

"Yeah," Daniel snorted, handing my shortened cigarette back to me. Kim snagged it before he could however, and I sighed in impatience as I watched her take a drag or two. "and now he's in prison for counterfeit cash."

Lindsay's eyes widened in fear for a moment before she asked Daniel if he had one, and he shook his head glumly in response. We all laughed, fully remembering the story of when he had gotten it snagged by a bouncer who had asked for his Astrological sign.

"Some stupid bouncer asked what my star sign was," He grumbled, rubbing his hands together. "I didn't know so he snagged it."

"Aw," Nick didn't seem pitiful whatsoever as he moaned sarcastically, and Daniel shot him a look.

"Capricorn, Cancer, Capricorn!" I imitated his panicked reaction at the bouncer's question, making everyone laugh as Daniel kicked my outstretched foot.

"I hate astrology," He pulled a face. "what, everyone born in the same month's gonna have the same life?"

I hurriedly accepted my ever shrinking cigarette from Kim, who had been overzealous with the drags she had taken, and finished it before squishing the butt under the ball of my foot. It was then that Lindsay leaned in slightly, an expression lighting up on her face that made her look as though she had a big secret.

"Hey you guys," Her mouth formed a mischievous. "we should get fake ID's and go see _Feedback_!"

"Howie Gelfand sells fake ID's," Nick nodded, but then shook his head. "but they cost a ton of money...we don't got that kinda cash."

"Well, it just so happens that I came into a little bit of cash," Lindsay smiled slyly, and I found myself raising my brows in surprise. "I could lend you guys some."

"Well, well, well," I could practically hear Ken's smirk in his voice from behind me. "I'm likin' her more and more every day!"

"Join the club," Nick smiled and wrapped an arm around his unconfirmed girlfriend. They were more than friends at this point but hadn't admitted to a relationship yet, and either way it didn't matter because we were all groaning at the strangeness of his comment. It was almost like a joke that Nick and Lindsay were together now – I didn't know how to describe it, but we hadn't found anyone who could put up with Nick's escapades and we were rather interested to see how it would turn out.

"Gross," Ken turned away as I laughed into Kim's shoulder, blessing this wacky, messed up family of friends I had. 

* * *

"Congratulations everybody," Howie Gelfand handed Daniel, Ken, Lindsay and Nick ID's the next day later on the patio during lunch. "you're all of age."

Apparently they had followed through with their plan, and whilst I was doing homework at Daniel's house they had gone to Howie's work and gotten him to snag ID's for them. I rose my brow as I tried to peek over Ken's shoulder, snorting as I caught a look of how much of a blunder Howie had made. The ID's looked nothing like Ken, although the oriental face retained some round qualities that Ken sported.

"You could pull that off!" I pointed towards the ID and laughed, blowing my cigarette smoke away from my friend's face.

"Who the hell is 'Jesus H. Garcia'?" Ken lifted up his new license in question, obviously not agreeing with me.

"Is _H-_esus. It's your new identity," Howie corrected with a frown. "tell me that picture doesn't look like you."

"This picture doesn't look like me, man." Ken deadpanned.

I leaned back and lay on the picnic table, listening to the rest of my friends become disappointed with their licenses until finally Daniel demanded a refund. At first Howie resisted, but once Nick and Daniel stood to their full height in front of him he backed down and gave back the cash. My friends could be intimidating when the time came around to it, although they were all lousy fighters and didn't dare to admit it. I significantly remebered a time when a group of three of high schoolers had tried to round Kim, Nick, Daniel and I in middle school, and Kim and I had been the only ones to somewhat hold them off before Daniel had come to his senses and held out a broken pop bottle in defense. He now carried a switchblade with him because of this, but I had never seen him use it for anything besides opening beers or vandalism.

"You know what," Ken smiled, being the only one who didn't give back his ID. "I think I'm gonna keep this. I think I can pull off Jesus, here."

"Finally! A sane man," Howie exclaimed before advertising his store and a sale that was going on next week. We all agreed to go and check it out in thanks for him trying to score us ID's, but before he could leave Howie turned to me with a wink. "How about you, pretty lady? You need anything?"

"That depends," I sat up from my position on the table, pulling the cigarette away from my lips with a sly smile. "what do you offer?"

Ken whistled lowly, and I glared at him before redirecting my attention towards Howie. I had intended to string him along for a minute or two whilst he tried to flirt with me, but before I knew it Daniel was shutting the situation down and I was wondering what the hell he was doing again. What was with this protectiveness?

"Hey, hey," He waved his hand in front of Howie's face, capturing his attention and trying to joke to divert attention from me. "Unprofessional, Gelfand."

"Right – good call," Howie laughed it off before patting Daniel on the shoulder and taking his leave. I tilted my head slightly, trying to figure out what was going on in this slightly off situation.

"Wait, that's it?" Lindsay's crestfallen tone broke my concentrated train of thought, and I stared at her blankly as she complained. "We don't have ID's, and the band's playing tonight!"

"That's my only connection." Daniel shrugged, uncaring. It didn't matter whether or not he was going to go to the bar tonight or not; he was good at finding parties and if he wanted to get trashed, he would ultimately find a way to do it.

"Yeah," Nick agreed, shaking his head in disappointment. "I don't know anybody."

"Wait…" Lindsay broke in just as soon as I assumed Kim and I would be going to the bar alone tonight. "I think I might..."

Needless to say, her idea involved one of Millie's old cousins that she remembered hearing rumors about making fake ID's, and by the time the lunch bell rang she had assured Nick and Daniel that she would try and speak to her old church-going friend to see if she could get updated information. I couldn't help but smile, noticing that everyone was much cheerier when they accepted that perhaps tonight wouldn't be a total bust after all.

Unfortunately my smile faded as soon as Daniel and I sat down in Biology class and were told that we had to split up for our lab, which made me groan in discomfort. I didn't like being separated from my best friend, but there was nothing we could do, so with a small rub on my back Daniel quickly sought out his assigned lab partner – Harrison.

I hated biology. I hated every single minute of it. I hated everything that we did, I hated the fact that I couldn't understand the material, and I hated the stupid class itself. The teacher was mean, picking on the kids that didn't understand what was going on, and didn't support anyone who was struggling. I hated the fact that I couldn't sit next to my best friend, and that my lab partner was a cheerleading, dramatic, awful, smartass bitch who constantly assumed I was garbage.

"Okay, since I'm assuming you _didn't _do your homework," Abigail smirked at me in disdain. I could almost feel the disapproval rolling off of her in waves and wished that I hadn't been held back a year. "I'll do the hard part."

What a stuck up bitch.

I didn't even bother replying, and let her do the work whilst doodling in my notebook. I glanced at Daniel at the back of the classroom, who had gotten paired with Harrison – quite possibly the nicest and most easily manipulated person on the planet. Daniel was a lucky little shit. Kim and I had been totally right about him being born with a lucky streak in his bones.

"Come on," Abigail snapped, making me sneer at her as my attention was redirected to her stupid brown curly hair. "The least you could try to do is actually pay attention."

It really wasn't fair for her to be cruel to me just because I didn't understand, and all it did was make me mad. If she had been nicer I would have probably asked her questions about how this all worked, but she was strung up on being just as much of a cunt as Vicky, and I didn't want to involve myself with her.

"So what, do you just not talk?" Abigial pushed, causing my jaw to clench. "What are you, a mute retarded freak?"

I looked up at the white ceiling of the classroom, pretending that I could see right through it up to the sky where some poor angel was most likely looking down at me, smirking about how they had sent Abigail to be my lab partner instead of anyone else on the planet. I silently begged that angel to have mercy on my shitty soul, and use its divine soul to send down someone to either slit this girl's throat before I did it for them.

"Hello, _freak_?"

No such luck.

I huffed one last time and stood up silently, dumping my books in my bag before I turned to Abigail very calmly and said,

"Go fuck yourself."

Without staying to watch her splutter and try to think of a way to tattle on me before I left the classroom, I stormed out the door and didn't even bother to let the teacher know where I was going.

I was seeing so much red that I was vibrating with rage, ready to smack anyone that got in my way. I couldn't believe the audacity of some of the girls in this school, and how they dared to speak to me and my friends time and time again as if they hadn't learnt their lesson already. I had told them off countless times and yet they continued to mouth off, and this time around I was more than ready to beat the shit out of one of them. At this point I didn't care if I got expelled; it was worth it to show them that if they said something to the wrong person, life would smack their pretty little heads right back into place.

"Kat!"

"No!" I spun around and continued walking backwards, pace just as frenzied as it had been when I was walking forwards. It was Daniel, following me as I walking – no, _stalked_, aimlessly through the empty corridors of the school. Miraculously all of the students had decided to attend classes this afternoon leaving the hallways wonderfully open. "No, Daniel, I don't want to talk! _Really_ fucking angry!"

"Alright – I gotcha," Daniel continued following lankily with outstretched arms, watching as I tugged a hand through my long black hair in irritation and turned back around. We both knew that when he said 'I gotcha' it was always in terms of both understanding and support.

Daniel was already used to Kim's anger, which tended to flare up more than mine but was more easily manageable. Whenever I got angry and Daniel was alone with me he tended to keep his distance until I had calmed down, unless of course I was about to engage in a fight like I had been with Vicky. For a small girl like myself people didn't expect much of a fight, but I had a lot of pent up rage and it begged for release when the right times came around. Most often than not it was cheerleaders who were the best at pulling this anger out of me. Their ignorance was unparalleled, and it made me sick to my stomach and blind with irateness at the same time. I was lucky to have so many male friends to hold me back when the time came around and I wasn't right in the head.

There was a horrible feeling of unspent energy in my stomach as reality pulled me back into the current situation, making me sick as I veered right around a corner and continued speed walking. Irritation festered around me as I slammed through a set of doors, kicking them open and experiencing some satisfaction when I heard the glass splinter. This caused me to go into a next fit of rage, and I swung my fist back as hard as I could towards the next set of lockers.

"Dammit!" I clenched my teeth as my fist collided with the metal, and despite the screaming pain in my hand I did it again and again highlighting each punch with a word. "Stupid! Fucking! CUNT!"

Only when my knuckles went numb did I start using the back of my fists, but at that point Daniel was wrapping his arms around my midsection and pulling me away from the green lockers. I fought valiantly against his hold for a moment or two, fists swinging in midair until I accidentally clocked him in the side of the head. We broke apart, one of us panting wildly whilst the other held his head in pain.

"Ow, fuck!" Daniel whined, grimacing at me and my furious form. His expression recalculated for a split second and I realized that I must have looked livid, because he redirected his attention immediately.

"Motherfucker!" I growled as I shoved at the lockers once more, partly in anger that I had accidentally hurt Daniel and partly because I still had some energy left in me. I pounded a last fist on them for good measure before slumping against them tiredly, sinking down to the floor seconds later. "Motherfucker..."

"Finished?" Daniel rose a cautious brow towards me from several feet away, hands on his hips, and after a couple seconds I nodded.

I was still catching my breath when I noticed a teacher had popped his head out of the door, and I almost groaned in disdain when I sensed that my behavior had probably earned me a suspension or at the very least a couple trips to Mr. Rosso's office for my 'anger problem'.

"She's fine – we're fine," Daniel waved the adult off, making the man recede back into his classroom. I hoped that, being the only classroom in this block of lockers, the man wouldn't phone reception. "God damn, Welsh. You're killin' me here."

My best friend slowly came to sit down beside me, and after another moment or two he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and drew me near. I didn't protest this, and merely stared ahead of me as I let the endorphins from the brief spurt of exercise flow through me. I breathed in through my mouth and out through my nose a couple times, making sure that I was fully calmed down before responding to him.

"Sorry."

"Apology accepted," Daniel retorted without missing a beat, and we turned to look at each other at the same time. "Ya lunatic."

"Oh – fuck off," I huffed, a smile that I couldn't stop forming on my lips as we bonked foreheads affectionately. Despite the awful nature of this incident I couldn't help but laugh at how nicely it had turned out, glad that I had Daniel with me to help me through it. Damage had still been done, yes, but it was easier to fall back into the swing of things this way.

We sat in the hall for a moment longer, enjoying the relative peace and quiet that was paired with the faraway murmuring of teachers in their classrooms. We didn't move until we heard the beginnings of rustled footsteps, indicating that third period was over and we needed to move.

"Alright Kitty-kat – time to go," Daniel quickly rose from his spot and pulled me up by the hand, giving it a comforting squeeze before we were swamped by students coming out of the classroom not too far away.

Considering my fourth period was a spare, Daniel had recommended that I stay at his house until he picked everyone up for the show at the Rusty Nail Tonight. Him, Nick and Lindsay were going to go visit Millie's cousin all together, which meant that I had enough time to do my homework and get ready for the evening before he came to get me. Both of us didn't want me to stick around school in case Abigail had decided to report me, so after saying goodbye I slipped out a side door and set out at a brief pace towards Daniel's. He had also informed me that Kim would be joining me at his place to get ready after she was finished school at three thirty, for it would be easier for him to pick us both up at his place as opposed to driving all the way to Kim's.

Having memorized the routes to all of my friend's houses a long time ago, I walked without a thought in my head and tried to shove today's incident out of my brain for the time being. It surprisingly worked, and I found myself filled with thoughts about any homework that I could potentially understand and get done before getting ready with Kim.

When I reached Daniel's house I let myself in without a problem, greeting his mother who asked me to fetch the mail before I went into Daniel's room. At this point she had accepted me as part of the house, considering I was in and out so often. I had known all of my friend's parents since I had been little, but only a few of them really like me and I had a feeling Daniel's mother was one of the few.

I plopped myself down on Daniel's bed and pulled out my homework, I decided that I would try and get some science done – that subject being my number one priority after the entire fiasco today – before Kim got here. I managed to power through the assignment that had been handed out, copying from the textbook as best I could and vaguely grasping some of the concepts that were being explained. Kim arrived an hour later and grinned broadly when she found me doing homework, causing me to smile back. I always knew that Kim was proud of me when I tried hard, despite her own struggles with academics. We shared wordless happy expressions for a moment before she tugged me to the bathroom, whining about how she needed me to apply her eye shadow since she could 'never do it as well as you can, Kit-kat!'.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I grinned playfully as I pulled out my makeup kit and rolled up my sleeves. "Your eye shadow is always perfect, no?"

"Oh please," Kim snorted, closing her eyes as I began to apply the chemicals to her eyelids. "we both know what a cluster fuck I am with that stuff."

"Remember that time you started crying at Stoker's party," I began to giggle as I told the tale of Kim getting so drunk and upset over Daniel not fetching her a drink that she had begun to sob. "You started crying and completely forgot you had your cake face on?"

"Shut up!" Kim smacked me in the stomach with a grin, making me laugh even harder.

We continued on like this for another hour, both of us applying eye makeup and lipstick whilst we shared stories and laughed. Both of us kept our regular outfits on for the evening and felt safe enough with our ID's to know that we would get let in, so we sat on Daniel's front porch sharing a cigarette while we waited for him to pick us up. He had told us that he would arrive around six o'clock, but we weren't sure how long Millie's cousin would take with the cards and didn't even know if our friends had succeeded in getting them at all.

There was a rumble from afar five minutes later however, and Daniel's Trans Am pulled into the driveway with Nick and Lindsay sitting in the back seat. Seeing their smiles Kim and I assumed that they had succeeded in getting the ID's, and hopped into the car along with our friends. The warm weather made me glad that the car's top was down, and even though the day was growing dark I felt a certain warmth in my face that mirrored the glow of the hot sun.

We arrived at the bar just in time, and as we pulled into the lot Kim quickly drilled Lindsay on how to approach the bouncers and what _not _to say. Considering we had fake ID's it was probable that some of us might have gotten caught, and we all promised that if one of us got kicked out we would keep on going without them. Just like the old pirate's code – if one fell behind, they stayed behind.

"At least Millie's cousin did a good job on the cards," I joked as we walked across the lot to the dingy little bar, keeping my voice low so that the bouncers guarding the entry point wouldn't overhear. "None of you look Chinese this time."

"I dunno," Nick frowned. "Daniel's eyes look kind closed in that shot."

Our friend gave Nick a shove, but said nothing as we had now reached the door.

Kim and I breezed past with easy smiles towards Jimmy, the bouncer that we encountered each time we would come to this bar. For a fair bit of time Kim and I had been coming here every month or so, knowing fully well that it was the one place we could go to be treated as adults. We were mature about it, using the visits as girl time where we could catch up about feelings and order as many beers as we could drink until the night was over. Those nights were never rowdy, and ended up being better than even some of the best parties I had been to. Both Kim and I could agree to that.

Having frequented the bar often, we saved two tables for our friends while we waited for them to show up and ordered beers for them while we were at it. Unfortunately they had recently gotten rid of the smoking patio, so I had to control my nicotine craving for the time being.

After several minutes our friends showed up looking rather ruffled, but calmed as soon as they spotted us and joined us at our tables. We heartily accepted the beers that the waitresses brought us and grinned in excitement as the lights began to dim, myself feeling less than comfortable about being at a table with Nick and Lindsay. Despite them being in a relationship there was something about Nick being _together _with someone that made me cringe slightly. He was an inexperienced lover and although sweet, too overzealous in every relationship we had seen him in. It was gag-worthy to hear the way he talked to Lindsay, as charming as it may have sounded to her.

"You know, we wouldn't be here without you, so thank you."

I hear Nick mutter to Lindsay and found myself raising my brows at the first smart comment he had made in awhile. She seemed fairly pleased with herself, and I thanked her as well before we turned our eyes back to the stage where the lights were beginning to dim and the band could be seen setting up. Everything seemed fine and dandy as we drank our beer and cheered for _Feedback_, but when the first few chords of Alice Cooper's 'Eighteen' were tossed out and I recognized the gnarly voice singing the lyrics, our fun experience slowly started to go to shit.

"No." I muttered in denial, putting my beer down and squinting at Mr. Rosso on the stage.

That was definitely him, jumping around like he was twenty years old again. My friends stopped cheering and gazed on as if it was a bad dream, realizing in horror that there was a large possibility he already knew we were here and had chosen that song to start with as a payback message.

"They're not bad!" Kim grinned over at me. I gave her a half smile and chugged the rest of my beer, gladly accepting the waitress's second delivering. Lindsay and Nick looked slightly reluctant to take their drinks, but the waitress didn't notice and placed them on the table anyway.

I tried to enjoy the show, hoping that Mr. Rosso wouldn't order the bouncers to kick us out after his band's first song. Thankfully we got lucky, and _Feedback _played a couple other songs from Velvet Revolver, Van Halen and Zeppelin before finally stopping to talk to the audience and thank them for coming out. Everyone else in the bar seemed to enjoy them, proving Nick's point that Mr. Rosso really wasn't all _that _bad at singing and perhaps we were just biased considering he was our weird, hippy guidance counselor. Either way it didn't matter, because it was at this point that things got messy.

"Alright everybody, I've got a great group of hard working rocker's behind me," Mr. Rosso began, nodding towards the crowd as they clapped. "And I'd like to introduce them all to you. But, uh, first we've got some special guests in the audience I'd like to introduce all the way from McKinley High school."

"Shit," I grumbled angrily as soon as his gaze flipped to us, and before he could start pointing fingers I found myself slipping away from the table and taking my beer with me. "Fucking wacky-ass guidance counselors."

There was no way that Mr. Rosso was going to ruin my lovely night nor get my fake ID taken away from me – especially after the money I had paid to get it – so I decided to chug it in the bathroom and slip out of the bar quietly as soon as I heard Feedback start up again. My friends fortunately had managed to keep their fake ID's with the promise that they never returned to the Rusty Nail again, and had been booted out of the bar after several more songs. As Daniel recounted to me later in his room that night – Kim, him and I were sharing a joint before we all went to bed – Rosso had watched them go with a sarcastic smile and hadn't seemed at all suspicious that I was missing from the crowd.

As we all passed out on Daniel's bed – he had recently built a bigger bed frame after many complaints from both Kim and I that it was too small when we all slept in it together – my head resting in the crook of Kim's neck, I couldn't help but smile and think that maybe, just maybe, I had a lucky streak in my bones too.


	9. Chapter 8 - Girlfriends and Boyfriends

**Girlfriends and Boyfriends**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

"So, you punched a locker?"

"She punched it like five times," Daniel laughed, and I shoved him away as I clucked my tongue and Kim giggled. We were revisiting last week's incident, when I had gotten so angry over what Abigail Lewis had said to be in Biology class that I had gone off on a rampage and attacked an unfortunate row of lockers. "And then she clocked me."

"By accident!" I whined as Kim laughed even harder, kissing the side of Daniel's head and then his lips in mock sympathy. "I swear!"

"He deserves it every once in awhile," Kim laughed and returned to her seat in the bleachers alongside me, accepting the cigarette I handed her. Her complaints about my smoking had all but stopped as I had reduced my nicotine intake to five a day, but if I was being truthful it was because her own rate had increased by a fair bit. "Let's be honest."

We had convened at the patio for our usual morning conversation, meaning that some of us needed to decide rather quickly whether or not we were going to cut class or not. Daniel and I had decided to skip Algebra, knowing fully well that we had another test this period and that at least one of us – that 'one' being me – wanted to study a bit more before we took it. Daniel didn't care either way, but when he learned that I wanted to skip the class he didn't protest at all and joined along.

It was a relatively normal break on the patio; Lindsay had a spare this morning and was in deep conversation with Nick, Ken was staring off into space whilst spitting dandelion seeds, and the rest of us were enjoying our cigarettes. We all found ourselves sitting around the bleachers soon enough however, and the topic of the conversation shifted to Kim's parents which gained everyone's attention rather quickly.

"My parents think I stole money from my mom again," My blonde friend crossed her arms as she smirked, and I knew we were in for a good story. "So my stepdad tried to make me clean his car – I used a dirty rag and he _totally_ flipped."

I scoffed and shook my head with a smile, amazed at the guts that Kim had with her stepfather. The illiterate man was a total wastoid who survived alongside Cookie – Kim's mother – living off of welfare checks and refusing to work on account of his 'bum knee'. The truth was that he was lazy and had no drive to do anything in life, so he got off on making Kim feel inferior because of her C level grades and yelling around the house. He wasn't as bad as my own parents, but I consistently felt bad for Kim each time she was falsely accused of things around the house or nagged about her academics.

"The worse thing my dad's done is make me work in his store," Lindsay made a face as soon as the laughter subsided, clearly wondering about the rest of our lives at home now that she had seen both Kim and Nick's situations. "What about you, Katherine?"

Her question caused the smile to drop off my face, and when tried to plaster it back on I could tell that I wasn't fooling anyone.

"Uhm," I stuttered on my words for a moment, keeping a weird sort of half smile that most likely seemed more like a grimace on my face. "My dad isn't...with us anymore."

"Oh – I'm sorry," Lindsay looked a little put out, and as per usual naively overstepped the boundaries of the conversation. "What happened?"

I grit my teeth in frustration at the thought of my deceased father who I hadn't even gotten the chance to get to know before his life had been ended by drugs. I didn't blame Lindsay for asking these sorts of questions – she hadn't had friends like us freaks before and clearly didn't understand our social circles enough so that she asked information out of place sometimes, so I didn't bitch her out like Kim would have. My friends however, understood why I wasn't answering Lindsay's question, and sensing my discomfort Kim jumped into the conversation to save me.

"He overdosed," Her eyes flitted back and forth between me and Lindsay as the rest of our friends looked away uncomfortably. "Oxycontin."

I wasn't sure if Kim answered the question to make Lindsay feel bad about having asked it, but either way Lindsay was going to find out being my friend. It was better that she knew more information about me sooner, and although talking about it was upsetting I would have rather done it with my friends than Mr. Rosso or some random quack. It wasn't my father's actual death that upset me, it was literally the fact that now I was forced to live with a monster like Rick when in all honesty living with an Oxycontin addict wouldn't have been bad. In a sense, I was glad that he had passed when I had been young – otherwise the pain of knowing what could have been would have been too strong.

Before tossing my now finished cigarette to the ground, I took a long last drag and winced at the uncomfortable silence. Kim was still staring at Lindsay, who was frozen in shock whilst Daniel had fixed me with a peculiar gaze.

"I'm so sorry," Lindsay muttered, still slightly open mouthed as if she couldn't believe that she had caused this situation. "I shouldn't have asked."

Uncomfortable with the attention, whatever remnants of a smile on my face fell away and were replaced by a grimace as I felt the familiar nausea creep up on me. My stomach suddenly felt like it was being squeezed in all directions, and despite the fact that I knew it would have been polite to respond to Lindsay all I could do was shake my head pathetically and making a waving motion with my arm as if to say 'whatever'. I didn't want to speak in fear of vomiting, knowing fully well that this tense situation was what had caused the nausea.

At this point I knew that I was definitely going to throw up, as the twisting in my gut had gotten worse and Daniel was frowning as he put two and two together. So, clutching my stomach, I stood up slowly and meandered over to the garbage can at an equally lax pace only to calmly placed my hands on either side of it. Squeezing my eyes shut, I did my best to force the vomit down that was rapidly making it's way up my throat and threatening to burst from my system. In the end I did not succeed, and I retched as quietly as possible as the two slices of toast I had eaten before leaving for school landed at the bottom of the trash bin.

I didn't hear anyone resume conversation, and at this point believed that they had assumed I had been crying instead of puking. I didn't think I'd ever prove anyone wrong by puking, but before I knew it Kim was by my side with a sympathetic coo of my name, leading me to sit down on the picnic table next to the trash bin. She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and wiped my chin off, tossing the now-dirty paper into the bin I had just hurled into.

"Y'know Kit-kat," She sighed, placing an arm around me and smiling as I looked up at her in question. "it's a relief that it doesn't come out the other end."

I raised my face and stared at her grinning mug in horror just as the bell rang, making sure to give her a smack for that comment before we all went to our separate classes. Daniel, Lindsay and I had study hall together, making the walk towards our classroom very uncomfortable as the brunette was still behaving very awkwardly. Daniel had placed himself in between us for good measure, keeping me tucked safely into his side as we traveled to Ms. Heet's room.

"I'm really _really _sorry Katherine," Lindsay blurted suddenly, as if she had been holding in the words for a long time. Daniel and I turned to look at her at the same time, a slight frown coating my face. "I shouldn't have asked."

"It's okay Lindsay," I smiled slightly at the shaken up girl as we filed through the classroom door. "And you can call me Kat, you know."

She shot me a shaky smile in return, and we plopped down at a table near the back of the classroom to begin the period. I didn't actually have any homework to do – since I had missed my Algebra test this morning I didn't have anything to work on besides studying. So, with a sigh, I pulled out my math book and tried to concentrate on the chapter that Kowcheski had advised us to look at, ignoring Daniel's obscene doodles from the spot next to me. He had a bad habit of drawing women's breasts during school hours, occasionally getting him in trouble from his female teachers and earning reluctant reprimands from male teachers who obviously valued his artistic skills. Daniel wasn't Picasso, but he was fairly good at sketching and I found myself sometimes envious of his abilities despite his inappropriate art.

"Lindsay," I murmured suddenly, catching both her attention as I realized that I didn't know how to figure out a problem that the textbook had given me. "Can you help me with this? I don't understand it."

Under Daniel's scrutinous gaze, Lindsay placed her book down to take a look at what I was working on. She explained how to place the numbers in the problem into the quadratic formula, and then how to properly use the formula to derive the answer I needed. I frowned at first, causing her to explain it again in an easier fashion, and then nodded along as I began to grasp what she was saying. I also pretended not to notice Daniel listening in on our conversation, but when Lindsay was done explaining and I had begun to answer the question with a new sense of purpose I decided to hand Daniel a piece of paper with a smiley face in the corner.

I smiled as I heard his huff of laughter upon seeing the small symbol of motivation, and even grinned when I watched him pick up his own pen out of the corner of my eye to begin jotting down the quadratic formula. Without even thinking, I pushed my textbook between the two of us so that he could look at the word problems as well, and tried to hide my triumphant smile when he began to look over them. He was trying!

"You memorized it," I murmured lowly as I noted that Daniel didn't even need to look at the textbook to finish writing the quadratic formula.

"Yeah," He smiled bashfully, as if he knew that I was going to be proud of him already but toning the whole revelation down. "So what?"

"So..." I grinned as I stuck out a high five, raising my eyebrows comically as he responded to the gesture and slapped my hand back. Lindsay watched our exchange with a small smile, and I could see the gears turning in her head as she figured out the way that Daniel worked.

A part of Daniel and I's connection that I valued very highly was our praise for each other; we didn't consider each other higher than one another and were proud of each other for working hard no matter what. When we noticed that we were working hard we congratulated each other without a hint of condescending or pretentious 'holier than thou' attitude. It was an equal, mutual exchange that was used to boost our confidences and strengthen our bond, providing a morale enhancer that allowed us to try a bit harder in whatever area we had succeeded in. Recognition was important, and since Daniel had suffered a deficiency of it throughout his academic career, I prided myself on giving some of that praise for his efforts back.

Despite the fact that both Daniel and I got stuck halfway through the question and needed Lindsay's help once more, by the time study hall was halfway over I was able to explain the question forwards and backwards. This, in turn, helped Daniel – who was struggling to understand why the end product was the number it was. I gave him the simplest explanation I could and prided myself on the fact that there was a flicker of understanding on his face before he shook it off and exclaimed,

"As long as I can do it, I don't care."

At this point I knew that we had gotten the ball rolling, and we managed to hammer through three more questions with a bit of help from Lindsay before our table finally lapsed into silence. I put my Algebra books away since the period would be over in around twenty minutes, and Daniel had gone back to doodling on his scrap piece of paper. I had joined him after a minute, and we passed the paper back and forth – me drawing unicorns with droppings of money, and him drawing breasts again – until Daniel turned his attention to Lindsay.

"Hey Lindz," He smiled across the table at the girl, letting me have the piece of paper so that I could focus on the details of a unicorn's face. "I think it's really great that you and Nick are goin' out."

"Yeah, me too." Lindsay gave him a half smile and returned to her reading, but Daniel interrupted her concentration once more.

"No, I mean it – he's a great guy," Daniel continued, making me wonder where he was going with his statements as Lindsay gave him an equally puzzled smile. "We give him a hard time - but he's the man. I just think it's really great you guys are going out."

Lindsay just nodded and smiled, and I could tell she also had no clue what Daniel's hidden message was. In fact, even I was surprised to see that my best friend had a secretive little smile on his face as though he knew something that nobody else did, and was very happy about it. This caused me to let out a puzzled frown, but I continued drawing my unicorn's money droppings and merely listened in.

"He's a really great guy," Daniel pressed, tone now sounding like it was obviously holding a significant meaning behind it. "Nick's a stud. Y'know, he may not seem like it, but he is."

Daniel leaned closer to Lindsay and grinned at her, making me snort into my artwork as I leaned my head down. Lindsay looked between us funnily as I continued to chortle, really wondering if that was what all of this suspension had been for. A 'stud', really? Nick was the farthest thing from a stud that I could think of – he was a big, stoned teddybear that lumbered around with awkward limbs; not a anywhere close to the stereotypical stud.

"Mr. Desario," Ms. Heets leaned down at our table and glared at Daniel before Lindsay could ask why he was telling her all of this and why I was laughing. "Don't you have something to do?"

"Right," Daniel smiled flirtatiously and tapped his pencil on the desk, knowing fully well that his efforts were going to rid us of her presence. "but I thought that we were going to do that after class, Ms. Heets."

Ms. Heets let out a small huff and backed off. "Be still my beating heart."

"I like that dress." Daniel smirked as our pink teacher waltzed away, making me roll my eyes at his antics.

The rest of study hall was spent doodling, while Lindsay finished her book across from us and paid no mind to our giggling. I had jumped on the obscenity bandwagon and had given in to drawing little penises all over the page, making a wonderful addition to Daniel's pictures of breasts. Each time Ms. Heets came around we would flip the page over to reveal Daniel's equations, making it seem as though we were pouring over his work. She didn't notice our quiet laughter, and I found that the twenty minutes went by faster than the speed of light as I fooled around with my friend.

"Real mature, Welsh." Daniel snorted as I finished a grand drawing of a veiny number with many hairs on it's testis. "_Real _mature."

"Oh, what?" I pointed to his articulate drawing of a woman's breasts and hips, snorting in the process. "And this is mature?"

"Oh come on, I draw from the heart."

"No, you draw from the crotch." I pointed to my phallic sketches, biting my lip to contain the bubbling laughter that threatened to spill over. "In which case, I do too."

We both erupted into little giggling fits, which had Ms. Heets right behind us again within ten seconds. As soon as she was about to warn us to be quiet the bell rang, and she didn't even have time to glance at our page because I was tucking it safely into my messenger bag and Daniel and I were scooting out the door with Lindsay in tow.

Crisis averted.

* * *

Several days later, it was clear that Nick and Lindsay's relationship was heating up.

I detested knowing this fact, simply because they were my friends and it was awful thinking about them being _together _in the more sensual sense of the word, but I was happy for them nonetheless. The last time Nick had been this happy was when he had been with Heidi Henderson, and ever since that relationship had gone up in flames he had seemingly give up on love. The boy meant to be sweet despite often times having problems drawing the line between romantic and creepy, but his heart was in the right place.

It was now a Friday, and we had collected ourselves underneath the stairwell – another one of our usual hangout locations when the patio was too far away – before leaving for the day. Most of us skipped last period, myself having a spare after I had made up my Algebra test, and were planning out our weekend. Daniel had gotten in contact with Des, who was an old friend of ours that was moving back to Chippewa from Detroit after having relocated there several years back. He was having a welcoming party at the new apartment he had purchased, looking forward to a night of partying after a week of moving.

"Come on, let's get outta here," Daniel urged, wanting to leave the school as soon as possible. There was no reason to hang out here any longer than we needed to, and it was clear doing so made the boy rather antsy.

"Hold on," Kim whined, searching her pockets for the cigarette pack that had miraculously disappeared. "I can't find our smokes, Kit-kat. Do you have them, Daniel?"

"No," Daniel sighed and rose his brows comically, as if he was surprised that Kim was accusing him and I of snagging her smokes.

"Maybe," I searched my bag, knowing that it was possible Kim had lent me her pack over the course of the day and we had forgotten to exchange.

She and I were in the process of sharing cigarettes to help each other tone down our addiction, knowing that if we split a pack in between us it would account for less overall cigarettes for us individually in the long run. Adding Daniel to that equation, as he constantly asked us for cigarettes as well, ended up being even better for our own lungs. Splitting a pack three ways was 'healthier', in our eyes – even as demented as that logic was there was no arguing that it was better than having a pack each.

"Got 'em," I felt the pack of cigarettes in between my fingers and pulled them out, handing them to Kim. "Here."

"Hey man," Daniel turned to Nick in a sudden turn of conversation, wrapping an arm around Kim as we prepared to leave. "Kitty-kat, Kim and I are goin' to Des's tonight, are you comin'?"

"No actually," Nick wrapped his arm around his new found girlfriend, and I found myself smiling suggestively as I shrugged my coat on. "I'm hangin' out with Lindz."

"Alright," Daniel grinned dirtily, his perverted thoughts infecting everyone else's minds as we all whooped and cheered. "Make it happen!"

"Tonight's the night," Kim egged on, handing me a cigarette that I placed in between my lips as I placed my bag back around my shoulders.

Lindsay and Nick blushed at the attention, the latter looking a little more proud and the former looking rather alarmed at the fact that apparently everyone knew what was supposed to happen tonight. It wasn't bad to assume that Lindsay was a virgin; she _had _been on the mathletes after all...and she wasn't exactly someone who put out very much or expressed much sexuality whatsoever. Still, you never knew what kind of secrets people were hiding and it was very possible that Lindsay had a fully blossomed sex life that none of us knew about. I doubted that theory very much, as she looked very uncomfortable at the moment and didn't seem to be the type of girl to mask her feelings.

"Have fun!" I smiled at Lindsay knowingly even though she seemed discomforted, hoping that my gesture would set her at ease.

"Call me tomorrow Lindsay," Kim sang at our friend as she, Daniel and I made our way away from the space underneath the stairs. "I wanna hear everything that happened!"

"So do I!" Daniel teased, grinning widely and accepting the punch that Kim delivered to his arm for teasing her. We didn't pay attention to Lindsay's response.

We made our way to the parking lot in between the masses of students, only stopping at my locker so that I could pick up my relatively light homework. Even though there was no guarantee that I would do it, my schooling had been getting better and I figured that at least taking the work home would be a cause for some motivation. Then again, it was very hard to be motivated to do Algebra when one was shitfaced.

We proceeded to Daniel's Trans Am in the parking lot, sliding into the orange vehicle rather easily and turning up the radio until it was of a decent enough volume where we could still talk and not have to raise our voices too much. My best friend did leave the top down, however, causing me to grimace in annoyance as my elbow-length hair whipped around my face when he took off. My other best friend was suffering the same fate with her long blonde locks, and she grunted in annoyance before trying to keep them out of her face.

"Look at you guys," Daniel laughed, wiping a hand through his short hair as we breezed through intersections and tore around corners. "You two look like Cousin Itt!"

"Oh, shut up!" Kim and I spoke at the same time, causing us to both grin while I slid my sunglasses down over my face.

"Alright," Daniel began as soon as we were making relatively good speed towards the downtown core and Kim had already started applying makeup. "Des is having a kegger so we all need to pitch in – ten bucks."

Kim and I forked over our ten dollars, and we lapsed back into silence – but not before Daniel could reprimand me.

"And tone it down tonight, Kitty-kat."

"I'm always toned down," I looked at him through the review mirror, my gaze truthfully dishonest as I smirked guiltily. "no?"

"Right," Kim snorted. "And Nick is the next John Bonham."

We all laughed, but I knew that they were right. When there was alcohol at a social gathering I was bound to be drinking heavily, especially considering parties gave me no anxiety and I was very comfortable around all the people there. I had never once thrown up at a party because of my nervous puking disorder, only hurling when I was very drunk. This was the intended plan for Des's tonight, despite Kim and Daniel's warnings that if I got too drunk they would lock me in a room for a night.

We met up with Des at a liquor store downtown, thankful that we could at least enter the store as long as we didn't touch anything or try and purchase anything. He had brought many of his friends along from Detroit, while Daniel had invited most of the freaks and a couple of outsiders from different schools that had been old acquaintances and mutual friends of ours and Des, lost in the transfer from middle school to high school. It was amazing to think of how many people one actually knew in one's life; if you really thought about it the amount of connections you made were remarkable, and this party would only prove to be a small fraction of the people our freak group had frequented with since elementary school.

"There they are!" Des greeted us in the parking lot of the liquor store as soon as Daniel's Trans Am had been parked, walking up to us from several packs of kids gathered around muscle cars nearby and giving us each broad hugs. "How are you guys?"

"We're holdin' up just fine," Daniel smiled, walking alongside our old friend as we exchanged greetings with the other kids, some of whom I recognized.

There was a friendly girl named Sally who I remembered attending middle school with, and two brothers name Desmond and John who had sold me some of the best LSD I had ever taken in my life. Although I had calmed down with my drug usage and mostly used marijuana nowadays, there had been a good two years where Kim, Daniel, Ken, Nick and I had experimented with a variety of drugs and sort of grasped the art (or science...or safety, for that matter – I couldn't count the amount of times I had to take care of one of my friends of taking illicit substances.

"So, how's Detroit?" I looked up at Des from behind my sunglasses, eyes running over his large frame. The question was rhetoric; everyone knew that Detroit had a notorious gang problem and that violence was ongoing, but I asked the question just to be polite.

"Messy," Des grimaced, speaking the obvious. "Too many gangs and too many drugs. I had to get out of there and move back up to quiet and boring town, y'know?"

"I gotcha," I nodded along, remembering all of the newspaper headings that I had been seeing for the past couple weeks. "Good parties though, right?"

"Oh yeah," Des grinned, watching my face light up at the prospect of the silver lining to his tale. "_Great _parties."

"Don't encourage her," Daniel broke into the conversation, scuffing our old friend on the shoulder and laughing, as both of them were familiar with my drinking habits.

Several of the kids stayed outside with the cars as a small group of us continued inside the liquor store to purchase the keg and some extra liquor with the more muscle-y guys of the bunch. Kim and I game along to hold open the doors, but also because we took every chance we got to step foot inside of a liquor store and see all the types of booze we would be open to buying when we turned twenty one. For some of us that number was approaching rather fast, and for Des – who had been held back several years in high school – that number had already passed.

I had handed Des an extra fifteen dollars to get me a 375ml bottle of whiskey, having forgotten to swipe some from Rick's cabinet earlier this week and looking forward to getting my drink on. I didn't care what Kim and Daniel had to say – I already had a coke can in my bag and I was ready for the evening to proceed at full force.

"I had Martha help me with groceries," Des spoke about his girlfriend as we were all standing at the cashier, who only ID'd him and gave the rest of us knowing looks. "She might spend a fortune on food, but the broad can cook."

I smiled at the mention of cooking, seeing that over the years Des had matured and consequentially, his relationship with Martha had gotten much better. She herself had been a high school dropout, but Des explained to us that whilst they had been in Detroit she had graduated and gotten a two year college teaching degree. She was now working with small children in elementary schools, and her boyfriend couldn't have been prouder. Des himself was working at General Motors, and promised Daniel that as soon as he graduated school he would put in a good word at his auto shop for his hire.

"Appreciate it," Daniel smiled towards our old friend, sliding his own sunglasses on his face before helping life the keg, along with two other boys, out of the liquor store.  
Kim and I held open the doors with bright smiles, feeling rather innocent for a moment as we assisted in the task and got nice 'thank you's' and smiles in return. For a moment it was as if we weren't lugging a keg of beer and were instead doing something more innocent, but when one of Des's friends pulled a cigarette out began to curse towards his girlfriend the fantasy was popped like a balloon. I tried to ignore the yelling as we helped pile the keg into Des's backseat and hopped into our separate cars, following our old friend's Pontiac GTO.

When we reached Des's new place – a fairly nice apartment in an alright part of town – we loaded the keg inside and rapidly began to make ourselves at home, several of the guys flipping on the TV. They conversed as I made my way to the kitchen, Sally trailing behind me as we caught up and spoke about how we were doing. I discovered that she was now working at a convenience store, and that her family was moving back up to Chippewa as well considering how dangerous it was getting down there. In fact, many of the freaks Des had tugged along were moving permanently, having realized that their families' initial move their to take part in the automobile industry – which had been a mistake come the fifties and sixties – had set their family up for an unknown failure. So, consequently, it was tasked with this generation to do the moving back, and as it so conveniently turned out many of our old friends would be returning to Chippewa.

"School is alright," I made a face as the topic shifted to education. "I'm trying my best, but I don't know what I'm gonna do when I finish school. I feel kinda lost."

"Me too," Sally shook her head in agreement as we both made sandwiches, wanting to at least give our bodies some sort of carbohydrates to ease into our drinking more easily. "But you know what, as long as you keep doing what you love things'll work out, no?"

I briefly thought of Nick, and whether or not this theory was true, and briefly concluded that yes, if the area of your 'love' was convenient and fit an attainable standard, it was possible for things to work out statistically.

"That's true I guess," I nodded along. "Do what you love, and fuck the rest."

With that, we munched on our sandwiches happily and even had a smoke on the balcony before the party really got going, more people arriving and flooding into the relatively large apartment. I was greeting old friends left and right, but also found myself surrounded by many new faces that had been brought along for the ride. This wasn't a problem, but some of the girls that had come along looked rather stuck up and I was glad to find that they were getting strange looks all around. Finally, the tables had turned for the prissy girls in the world at the moment.

The party started regardless however, and I rapidly began to chase down my shots of whiskey with Coca Cola left and right until the conversations I had seemed meaningless and time was just a silly concept. I found myself moving around couches, engaging in drunken conversations with friends that I hadn't even remembered I'd had before taking more shots and trying to control my laughter when Des mooned the entire party.

Martha looked less than amused, but I saw smile playing on her lips.

Before I knew it it was two in the morning, and I was drunk beyond belief. I stumbled my way through the apartment where the sea of people had grown impossibly thicker, my vision sometimes focused and sometimes blurry. I felt hands grab and make passes at me, but I shook them off. I swore that I could hear my name being called and the front door opening and closing repeatedly as more and more voices joined in to the already cramped home, but I ignored the sounds and continued to sway to the music in the middle of the mass.

All of a sudden I felt a shove on my shoulder, disrupting my pleasant intoxication as I nearly fell backwards from the force. It had been someone abruptly running past me, obviously quite tipsy as well and inconsiderate enough to not even stop and figure out who she had pummeled through. Filled with liquid courage and anger, I spun around and grabbed the perpetrator by her curly hair, pulling her back and making her screech in pain. The girl, just as drunk as I was, whipped around and sneered at me as I let go.

"Watch it, bitch!" I slurred before she could say anything, staring her ugly mug down. She was one of the relatively unknown girls who had been brought along to the party, horrible teeth and makeup making me cringe as I looked over her.

"E-excuse me?" She nearly lost her footing, but re-aligned herself and literally pushed me this time, causing me to stumble again.

"You h-heard me," I hiccuped, now standing face to face as we angrily eyed each other as best we could in our state of being. My eyes briefly dropped to her entirely too revealing outfit, and although I would have considered it a mistake the next morning, I couldn't control myself as the next word flew out of my mouth. "Slut."

"You're c-calling me a s-slut?" It took a moment for me to understand that a fight was about to happen, and it wasn't because people had formed a circle around us when they had heard our accusatory tones. It was because her arm was rearing back and I had to acknowledge that it was now heading straight for my face at a speed that was too great for me to stop.

The punch hit me right in the nose, and with a grunt of pain I quickly grabbed onto a random body to straighten myself out before shoving myself towards her and tackling her to the ground. We fell to the floor with squeals and growls, the alcohol numbing the pain of any hits as we rolled for a moment and then straightened out. It ended up with me on top of her, straddling her waist as I repeatedly hurled my fists towards her face. At this point I was going overboard, but in my drunken rage I didn't have any clue what kind of damage I was doing and only cared about her cries of pain.

Suddenly, the inebriated and seemingly 'defenseless' girl eventually found the strength to push me over, and our positions were reversed. It was now her turn to fling her arms at my face, and things just got blurrier and blurrier from there. It took about a minute for my hazy mind to understand that I was really in a fight at a party, and the crowd of people now cheering on the fight were doing nothing to pull us apart. This wasn't a nightmare, but I refused to let this go down as some silly catfight and despite the blood now running down my face I let the vigor concentrate inside of me and found the strength to sit up.

This actually ended up being a mistake, as one of her hits clocked me in the eye and caused my frustration to increase tenfold. I released a grunt of anger, and it wasn't long before I managed to free one of my arms from underneath her knees and topple her over once more. This time I kicked her right in between her legs and then laid one more vicious punch to her cheek before I was being violently pulled back. Through my obscured senses I was able to recognize Daniel's arms and Kim's voice.

"What the hell, Katherine!?" Kim was raging as they pulled me off to the bedroom to cool down. "What was that!?"

"It's over – it's done," Daniel was chanting as he dragged my still struggling form down the hall and out of sight, keeping me locked in his arms. "Come on, Kitty-kat."

The adrenaline washed out of my senses, and I was just left with the inebriation as I stopped fighting against Daniel's hold. Someone else was presumably escorting the other girl outside, as I heard the music being shut off and the front door opening and closing as people began to file out. Liquid courage only lasted for so long before you began to feel like microwaved crap, and this phase was starting now. As soon as Kim realized how inebriated I was she softened, and switched into motherly mode to try and fix me up.

I let her clean up the mess on my face and tried to ignore Daniel's pointed look of disappointment, knowing fully well that I could have given him forty examples of times that he had shown me he was an unstable drunk as well as Kim. Despite this I allowed myself to be lectured by the two in the bathroom, the three of us approaching Des when I looked relatively acceptable even though Kim had to hold me up so that I wouldn't topple over.

"Hey man," Daniel apologized for the incident earlier, making Des sigh before he shook it off. "Can we stay the night?"

"Sure," Our old friend looked over at me and smiled a bit as he continued to make eggs in the now empty apartment. "Glad y'all had fun – don't worry about the fight...dumb girl was crazy anyway."

"Thanks man," Daniel nodded as Des showed us to the guest room, appreciating both this favor and his opinion. "We'll help you clean up tomorrow!"

As soon as we locked ourselves in the guest room I was immediately rushing to the connected bathroom, hurling into the toilet and panting heavily in between fits of puke. I must have really sounded awful, because Daniel popped his head in the door to make sure that 'no one was dying in here'. He held my hair back as I threw up, as per usual, and I cursed at his perfect stomach that never made him hurl. I cursed Kim even more, who was apparently already asleep on the bed. Despite the comic nature of it I was truly jealous, as there was nothing worse than vomiting this often.

Again and again I puked, until I was certain that I would pass out from the sheer lack of energy that I was left with with every contraction of my stomach. Thankfully, the small slice of agonizing time passed by and soon enough Daniel and I were lying side by side on the bathroom floor, talking about things that we normally wouldn't have talked about. Jobs, grades, university, animals and even children, at one point, made their way into the conversation. Of course it was uncoordinated, drunken slobbering, but we were still talking about mature things. That had to count for something, right?

We talked about the environment, and how the government didn't have teenager's best interests in mind – how they didn't understand us, and how they all thought that they were so smart just because they were older that we were. We talked about how we probably weren't going to get jobs, and the placed that we held on the planet. We knew that we weren't set up for anything big, and that everybody had a role on earth, no matter how small and insignificant they were.

"I know there's a point in living, and I know I'm good for something," I muttered, crawling into bed fully clothed alongside Daniel, where Kim was already laying fully asleep. "But I just haven't found it yet."

"You'll find it," My friend assured, slurring slightly, and even if this conversation was just a silly drunken one, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he was right.


	10. Chapter 9 - We've Got Spirit

**We've Got Spirit**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

"You look terrible."

These were not the first words that I was used to hearing upon my arrival at school, as I usually managed to maintain a very decent appearance despite my frequent drinking and low weight. In fact very rarely did I have 'off' days in terms of my looks; my hair was generally well maintained and although some girls would have considered my clothing to be strange and alternative I enjoyed my fashion choices.

Today however, there was an outlying reason as to why Ken was correct in stating that I looked like 'absolute crap', as he so lovingly put it seconds after I had thanked him sarcastically. The bags under my eyes and certain paleness was no doubt a direct result of the hangover that I was currently experiencing, having polished off an entire bottle of my stepfather's gin the night beforehand. He and my mother hadn't been home for the entire weekend, and after coming home from a movie with Kim I took advantage of the fact that I was alone and in somewhat peace.

I was started to regret my late Sunday night decision, although the copious amounts of water and the cigarette currently resting in between my lips were helping my case by a landslide.

"I'm serious," Ken continued, causing me to roll my eyes and make a face at my friend. "You look like microwaved crap, Kat."

"Thank you Ken, I get it!" I quipped, gripping my forehead in annoyance as I willed my headache to go away. "I also _feel_ like microwaved crap, so it would be superb if you could shut up."

"Sorry," He shrugged without a shred of guilt on his features, making me snort as I tried to finish my cigarette before the morning bell went off. "Just tellin' it how it is."

Without even bothering to spare my friend an eye roll, I hopped off of the bleachers as soon as I had discarded my finished cancer stick and led Ken away from the patio. We proceeded inside the rather crowded hallway, switching positions so that Ken was leading in efforts not to get trampled. The jocks horsing around in the corridors before classes tended to steer clear of Ken's larger form, knowing fully well that when push came to shove the boy was a heavyweight and could lay some fairly bad damage on an oncoming attacker. Our freak squad had gotten into some rather nasty brawls during our time at McKinley high, allowing Ken to defend his title as a person that the jocks were always sure to watch their words around.

Pissing off Ken, they had discovered after a broken nose or two, was a bad idea.

It was for this reason that I stayed close to him as we continued down the hallway, not stopping until we had breached a calmer area of the school and abruptly stopped. I peered around Ken's form in confusion, wondering what the hold up was, and followed his curious gaze up towards the sky where Vicky and one of her fellow cheerleaders were hanging up a sign that read 'assassinate Lincoln'. I didn't imagine that this had anything to do with the death of our nation's sixteenth president, although it could have had something to do with our rival school.

"Who's Lincoln?" Ken questioned dumbly, fully knowing who the president was but obviously not aware of the opposite school in our district.

The question drew Vicky's attention as she turned towards Ken in a haughty confusion, and ignored my presence completely. This fact didn't exactly make me upset; it was better that we pretend we didn't exist in each other's worlds, especially considering the last time we had spoken I had nearly jumped her bones.

"Our rival school," Vicky stated with the utmost superior tone, making me clench my jaw as I remembered why it was so hard to keep my mouth shut around this girl and call her out on her absolute bitchiness.

"We made regionals," The cheerleader standing opposite from Vicky, helping her hang the sign up, grinned widely at us. I nearly reeled from the nice gesture, assessing that she must have been so new that she still didn't understand how the social hierarchy worked. "Isn't that cool?"

"In what?" Ken asked, making me smirk. Every time someone showed off cluelessness towards a sports event that the cheerleaders held so dear, you could just see that it crumbled their perspective of how important they thought they were. The school liked to make them think that they were at the centre of the universe, but people like Ken reminded them that they really weren't at all.

"Basketball?" Vicky gave him a very dumbfounded glare, as if she couldn't believe that he hadn't heard of the 'big game' that was coming up, and then averted her attention to the other girl helping her pin up the poster. "Will you stop jerking it out of my hands? You're gonna rip it – god!"

Hearing Vicky snap reminded me that the best interaction you could have with her was trying to avoid her at all costs, so I followed Ken towards where Daniel and Kim were standing near my locker instead of staying near the girl. This turned out to be somewhat of a mistake however, because as soon as we reached our circle of friends they fixed me with incredulous expressions that had rivaled that of Ken's ten minutes ago.

"What happened to you!?" Kim pulled a face, then immediately went to check the temperature of my forehead. "Are you sick?"

"I'm not sick!" I swatted her hand away impatiently and made a face, going to open my locker and exchanging my books. I must have been paler than I thought, because when Kim thought I looked bad my situation must have been really bad. "Ugh. You guys are like vultures."

"Well, what are you then?" Daniel drawled, leaning on the set of lockers beside mine and fixing me with an inquisitive gaze. "'Cause you look like you had a rough night."

"All of you better shut the fuck up," I swore with a funny frown, reaching into my bag to pull out my compact mirror and some makeup to hopefully better the situation on my face. "I'm just hungover."

"Let me do it," Kim grabbed the makeup out of my hands and spun me around, both of us knowing fully well that she was better at applying cover up than I was. "And we told you to call us if you were gonna drink alone."

"Yeah, well," I sighed, trying not to move my face as much as my best friend began applying the makeup. "Sorry."

There was silence for a moment as Ken and Daniel curiously watched Kim cover my pale face with foundation, the same color of my natural somewhat-healthy skin. The bags under my eyes were given the same treatment, and whilst the boys cracked some jokes about cake-facing me – that earned both of them smacks from Kim and I – it was a relief to see that I looked significantly healthier after all the efforts.

"The corpse is back to life!" Ken joked, forcing me to give him another smack on the arm as I tried to hide my smile.

"You girls are like wizards with this stuff," Daniel took the foundation out of Kim's hands and examined it closely before I rolled my eyes and tugged it out of his grasp. "How do you do it?"

"Magic," I snorted sarcastically, earning a giggle from Kim who began to braid my hair. It was a habit we had gotten into back in elementary school, and had gotten rather good at the skill after countless sleepovers and boring playground sessions. I let her do it without a word of complaint, knowing fully well that it was probably better for my greasy locks to be controlled for the day.

"Hey, did you guys hear about the basketball game?" Ken piped up, and I laughed breathlessness as he made a rather sarcastic enthusiastic face. "Pretty exciting."

"I'm so sick of all this ra-ra crap," Daniel complained, shaking his head towards some passing jocks in their Varsity jackets. "These jocks think they're such badasses – walkin' around like they cured cancer. It's just monkeys!"

He proceeded to make ape noises behind the jocks backs', making the rest of us laugh but stop abruptly when Lindsay joined our little circle.

"Hey guys," She smiled as we exchanged greetings, and all of us curiously looked around for Nick who we were expecting to be on her tail. When Nick entered a relationship he tended to be a bit overbearing, to put it lightly, which had led all of us to expect him to be the same with Lindsay. It was generally the pattern with the boy and we had no reason to believe that it would be different this time around.

"Where's loverboy?" Daniel questioned, wondering the same thing as all of us.

"Nick? I dunno." Lindsay shrugged, making me raise my brows in surprise.

In this day and age – and especially at McKinley high – it was common for girlfriends to show each other off and basically become attached hip to hip. To be fair they had no reason _not _to do so, but for the rest of us it was an over-affectionate and unnecessary display that would often cause some cringing. To see Lindsay openly disagree with this sort of treatment with her uncaring attitude towards Nick's location was refreshing, and once again reminded me of just how unique her type of personality was.

"I thought you two were joined at the tongue?" Ken teased, but Lindsay ignored him and instead turned to Kim who was still braiding my hair.

"Hey Kim, Katherine?" She began somewhat nervously, eyes apprehensive as if she was about to ask for something unattainable. "Can I talk to you guys for a second?"

"Why?" Ken asked whilst he and Daniel chorused lowly. "Are you pregnant?"

"No!" Lindsay frowned, swiping away Ken's hand that was reaching for her belly and staring towards us two girls desperately.

"Hey! Don't be such a pig, god!" Kim smirked towards Ken and pulled me away from the two boys, Lindsay in tow. "She wants to talk to us."

"Yeah," I added in for good measure, tossing my tongue out in their direction. "Excuse _us_."

They let us go with scoffs, and we quickly reconvened with Lindsay around the corner who was looking rather concerned. Kim was still working my hair, twisting my long black locks into a loose braid that cascaded down my shoulder. We both fixed Lindsay with curious looks as soon as we were out of earshot of the Ken and Daniel, waiting for her to let us know what was going on. She looked fairly stressed, so we were hoping for a good story.

"So, _are _you pregnant?" Kim clarified, beating me to the punch.

"No!" Lindsay immediately denied, lifting her hands as her face molded into shock. "God no...I'm thinking of breaking up with Nick."

"What?" My eyes widened immediately, knowing fully well that this was a bad idea based on how long they had been dating for and how quickly Nick got attached to someone. He also took breakups horribly, so both Kim and I were against this idea of Lindsay's. "Why?"

"I like him," She began to explain tensely, watching our blonde friend's fingers thread through my hair. Her eyes held their own small bags underneath them, the purple contrasting with the fairness of the rest of the skin on her face leading me to believe that she herself was under a good amount of stress. "but he's just really intense – and he's always stoned. I just...something isn't right."

"Don't do it, Lindsay!" Kim urged, having paused with my hair for a moment while she listened to our friend explain herself. My gaze must have been obviously in agreement with Kim, because now Lindsay was eyeing us both uncertainly.

"What?" She tried to clarify, probably having expected a very different response. Her eyes widened partially as well, trying to figure out what to do now that the two people she was confiding in were clearly against her idea.

"Just..." Kim sighed, finally finishing my braid and wrapping an elastic around it only to let it flop against my side. I blew several stray hairs out of my face as I was finally free of her grasp, leaning against the wall and readjusting my bag. "Let me straighten him out. I'll beat some sense into him; it'll be fine."

"No!" Lindsay pleaded with her in panic. "Kim, don't. I'll figure it out. It's not a big deal."

"Okay," She wavered in response to this, but finally caved in. "Just don't break up with him."

"The last time he got dumped he kinda went a little berserk," I added, biting my lip at the memory of the horrid situation in which Nick's breakup with Heidi Henderson – a fairly nice freak in our circles who enjoyed Van Halen and smoking in the women's bathrooms – had caused him to stalk the girl and get into an argument with her father.

"You mean with Heidi Henderson?" Lindsay tried to clarify, causing both me and Kim to blanch. Had Nick already told Lindsay about his last relationship? That certainly wasn't like him...and it was doubtful that he would want to talk about the incident considering how horribly it had gone.

"He told you about that?" Kim raised a brow, surprised that our friend would have mentioned his ex, whom he was still on sour terms with.

"No," Lindsay shook her head, suspicions coming to life that something awful had happened between Nick and someone else. "What happened?"

"No – nothing!" I squeaked, nudging Kim as I realized that Nick was quickly approaching from down the hall. With no time to warn Lindsay that her boyfriend was creeping up on her, it was important that nothing was revealed in the conversation that he would now be able to overhear. We would have to pretend that we had been talking about something else, otherwise Nick would be able to suspect that we had discussed his ex-girlfriend and at that point it would have caused some sort of a scene.

"Yeah – I don't even know really," Kim began smiling as soon as she spotted the boy, causing confusion to break out on Lindsay's face until Nick wrapped his arms around her shoulders, startling her.

"Hey you," Nick laughed as she yelped in surprise. "I've been lookin' all over for you."

"Well," Lindsay's tone faltered as she stared at Kim and I oddly, then continued on with a shaky voice. "Here I am..."

"We'll see you guys later, then," Kim smiled and started to pull me away from the couple, obviously wanting to get away from the awkward situation as soon as possible.

I tried to smile as calmly as possible, fully knowing that Lindsay and Nick's gaze was resting on me, but I think it came out as more of a grimace because Lindsay did not look reassured whatsoever. Nick, on the other hand, now had his head buried in Lindsay's neck and did not notice at all. Before I could mouth any reassuring phrases however, Kim had already pulled me around the corner and we were standing back next to the oblivious Ken and Daniel.

"So, what's goin' on?" The latter of the two eyed the two of us wearily, eyes running over our forms as if we had gone onto some espionage mission alongside Lindsay instead of just having a girl's chat.

"Lindsay wants to break up with Nick," Kim immediately broke out into explanation, making me splutter for a split second before I interrupted her

"Kim!" I barked, staring at her in surprise that she had disregarded Lindsay's statements, told to us in secret, so easily. "Wh- she told us that in confidence!"

"Oh, come on," She gaped at me, as if it was expected that she was going to spill the beans on our chat with Lindsay. "They were gonna find out anyway."

I grumbled a bit, but protested no further and merely rolled my eyes when Daniel threw me an exasperated gaze. There was just no arguing with Kim and her ways, and besides the fact that I knew the pattern with her and secrets it was still rude to tell everyone about what Lindsay had said to us two in private. When girls talked about things like breakups it wasn't meant to be spread around; the information was considered 'classified' in a term not much looser than that of the secret service, and we took these sorts of silly rules seriously. At least Lindsay and I did, apparently.

"Anyway," Kim continued, causing me to lean against my locker instead of engaging in the conversation. "She told us Nick was getting too intense for her, and that -"

"Like he does with everyone," Ken interrupted in a snippy fashion, causing Kim to shoot him a pointed look.

"_And_ – no interruptions please," She went on. "she told us that she knew about Heidi Henderson."

"Ouch," Daniel grimaced, looking both ways down the hall to undoubtedly check if he could spot the 'happy' couple or, for that matter, Heidi. "Sucks to suck."

"We told her not to do it," Kim eyed me carefully, knowing that I probably didn't want to be involved in this controversial conversation but involving me anyway. "She can't – not with the way the last breakup turned out."

"Kim, if she's unhappy..." I began, sighing wearily and trying to remind Kim that if two magnets weren't attracted to each other you could try to shove them together all you wanted, but at the end of the day they wouldn't stick. "She's gonna do it anyway."

"She better not," Ken pulled a strange face, and I almost stopped to begin lecturing my friends on how it wasn't fair that they were basically trapping Lindsay in this relationship. "I can't stand a weird Nick. He's already weird enough."

The bell rang, interrupting our conversation and causing our group to diverge. Ken went on his way to business, a course that we had all been surprised he had decided to take, while Daniel, Kim and I proceeded to English. On our way there we tried our best to avoid the routes most traveled by the jocks, knowing that if there was a 'big game' in season the hallways would be more difficult to navigate with their ruckus. It was rather hypocritical that the school didn't stop any shenanigans involving jocks, but wouldn't hesitate to yell at us if we were caught piggy backing in the hallway.

"You girls got nice hair today," Daniel commented as we walked, causing Kim to beam proudly at her work on my black locks as well as flip her own braided hair.

"Thanks!" She chirped, locking her arm into mine as we journeyed the rest of the way to our English classroom. This time around, Daniel's compliment was well received and didn't make me frown with confusion, although perhaps it was because it was in the presence of Kim.

The period passed normally with a good amount of doodles and a heap of avoiding Ms. Dwyer's gaze, who by the end of the period fully suspected that we hadn't been taking notes at all. Before she could keep us back and chastise us for not listening however, we were out the door and giggling to ourselves on our way to next period which passed more or less in the same fashion, besides the fact that Kim and I were in Economics and Daniel had a spare. By the time we reconvened for lunch, we were all doodled out and ready for some mindless entertainment, which surprisingly came in the form of the cheer squad and our school's mascot performing the school cheer in the cafeteria.

I tried to focus on Kim's straw disappearing through her lips while the squad finished their chanting, but it was difficult when their whiny little voices – what I assumed would have been a soundtrack in the very pits of hell – wouldn't stop droning on and on. It was almost comical to see the group of white and green clothed girls so positive and happy when in reality they were stuck up, twisted souls with a passion for tearing down other people's confidence.

As soon as they had finished their cheer, our gym teacher and only coach of the school, Coach Fredericks, came to stand in front of the squad to no doubt advertise the game coming up.

"Alright - we haven't made regionals since 1971," He began, leading me and several others to wonder why he had started with that batch of information. "So I expected to see some butts in those bleachers Saturday, huh?"

The cafeteria let out halfhearted cheers, and our entire table of freaks – today this included Daniel, Stoker, Kim and I only – let out a collective eye roll. I snorted at the sight of Daniel swinging his food around on his fork, pretending to be excited and food nearly falling from his mouth. His mocker only got worse when Coach Fredericks invited Todd Shellinger up to the front of the cafeteria to speak, and Daniel began to mimic the dream boy's speech as he stood up in front of the school.

"Thanks Coach," He embraced his mentor, as if he was accepting the Nobel Peace Prize. "This season's been fantastic. I wanna thank Coach Fredericks ... and god,"

That addition to his speech made me roll my eyes so far up into my head that I thought they would never come down.

"- and I wanna see all of you guys out there on Saturday," He continued, voice raising in tone as to motivate the cafeteria. "to watch us DESTROY Lincoln, alright!?"

The lunchroom cheered louder than before, perhaps because of the presence of someone popular like Todd, and of course the cheerleaders were prompted to do their sappy cheer once more. Everyone stood up besides our table, which sat looking around at the madness that had escalated in the lunchroom. It seemed that the cafeteria couldn't get any louder until the Norseman mascot – now dancing on one of the empty lunch tables – broke the furniture in half and went tumbling to the ground with an intense cry of pain. This time I let myself burst out into sadistic laughter with the rest of the students, clapping alongside a cackling Kim who couldn't even look at the fumbling Norseman without letting out another vicious howl of laughter.

"Hey," Daniel motioned towards me once Coach Fredericks had carted away the injured mascot and the entire cafeteria had simmered down to finish their lunches. "What did you eat today?"

"Toast." I scratched the back of my neck and answered truthfully, frowning at the scrutiny in his voice. I had no tray table in front of me, which inevitably gave away the fact that I intended not to eat lunch today.

"Are you sleeping at home?" This question came from Kim, who was now also gazing at me curiously and making my scrunch up my nose. I appreciated that my friends cared so much about me – I really did – but sometimes their inquisitiveness made me feel like I was at a police station rather than a lunch table.

"No – no. I'm staying at…at, uhm -" I couldn't even finish the sentence before my friends had riddled out that I was staying at home with no food, and Kim was interrupting me.

"Eat." She pushed her plate of fries over to me, making me squint down at the greasy potatoes in disdain. Looking back up at Kim, it was clear that she nor Stoker nor Daniel were going to stop looking at me until I ate one, and this fact made me fidget in discomfort.

"Come on, Kitty-kat," Daniel pushed the plate closer to me, and I almost cracked with his usage of my childhood nickname. "It won't kill you to have one."

"Please, Kit-kat?" Kim urged with her own version of the pet-name, knowing fully well that it would get to me and get me to cave.

I finally sighed and took one of the fries, shoving it in between my lips and hoping that their gazes would redirect themselves elsewhere after I had performed the task. I had no such luck however, and they refused to let up until I had 'at least eaten a couple more'. I tried to avoid Daniel's calculating gaze as I continued swallowing the crunchy carbohydrates, knowing fully well that he was somewhat disappointed that I hadn't called to let him know I was home alone and drinking.

He was now getting into the habit of coaxing me over to his house whenever I was in that sort of situation, as to avoid any 'accidents' – that was what he had called my phone call with Ken and our bridge incident – from happening. I didn't mind staying at my friends houses, but sometimes I just felt the need to be alone and return to my own house for a night or two. Of course, it was no home – that label belonged to my friends where my heart truly lay – but I felt an undeniable urge to return there every once in awhile considering it was the place I had grown up in.

"Alright – come on," Kim interrupted my train of thought, and I realized that my friends had stopped paying attention to my food intake to instead get ready to leave the lunchroom. "Let's get outta here."

I eagerly followed the blonde out of the cafeteria, dumping out my unfinished fries in the garbage on the way and avoiding the broken table that the mascot had injured himself on. It didn't take long meandering in the hallways to find Ken, and after a moment of catching up Lindsay joined us two. It was almost as if we had homing devices attached to our hips at this point; we found each other with little to no problems in the school, and I liked that.

Any enjoyable conversation we were having upon Lindsay's arrival was interrupted by jocks however, as they tore down the halls whooping and yelling about how they were going to beat Lincoln and disrupted any sort of moderation that remained in the school. Paying no attention to most student's glares of annoyance, the lettermen continued making a ruckus and yelling slurs about our assassinated president with glee.

"This place is turning into a cult," Daniel made a face, bitterly placing his hands in his pockets. "These jocks can put a ball through a hoop - whoop dee do."

"My parents are making me go to the game with them," Lindsay grimaced, and I briefly wondered how the hell her parents were physically going to _make _her go with them. Did they clap her in irons or something? I didn't understand these types of families. "They're really into it."

"I'm going." Ken shrugged, looking around at our faces of surprise before we broke out into question.

"What?!" Kim stopped filing her nails for a moment and looked up at the boy, as if it was the most controversial thing for a freak to go to a school sporting event.

"Really?" Lindsay asked at the same time, and I found my own face being pulled into a confused frown. Ken hadn't attended any sporting events before, so what was motivating him to attend this one?

"Well, I heard we're gonna lose, right?" He began to explain to us. "I think it's kinda funny when the jock's cry. "Wahh – _they cheated_!"

Ken then imitated one of the sobbing jocks, scrunching up his face and wiping fake tears away with a child-like fist. We all let out a chorus of laughs, accepting that this was a good enough entertainment reason to attend the big game. The mood stayed up for another several seconds before Daniel noticed that Nick was fast approaching from down the hall, and turned to Lindsay in a moment of worry.

"Here comes Nick," He announced quietly to our group. "Hey Lindsay – what's up with you and him?"

"Nothing..." Our friend stammered, and I grit my teeth in Daniel's direction as to try and send a silent message for him not to mention anything about our earlier conversation.

"Nothing?" Ken asked, and I slapped a palm to my forehead in exasperation as I realized that Lindsay was going to find out Kim had ratted on her. "Kim says you're gonna dump him."

At this, Lindsay turned to Kim and I with a bewildered – and somewhat betrayed – expression. While Kim lifted her hands up as if to suggest that she was innocent, while I fervently tried to explain in a rather stumbling fashion that I had not said a word. I didn't know if this message was clear to Lindsay, but either was she didn't have time to drill me for an answer because Daniel was speaking again and she was looking as if she had seen a ghost.

"So it's true?" Daniel confirmed, and at this point Lindsay couldn't do anything to defend herself. "Lindsay – don't."

Nick embraced Lindsay once he arrived, and the rest of us turned quiet as he gave her a sweet greeting. It was Ken that then saved the awkward mood by shooting off a comment complaining about how Nick hadn't greeted any of us, and I was briefly able to catch Lindsay trying to coat her guilty face with an uneasy smile before Nick spoke up again.

"Hey, _Ken_," He nodded sarcastically towards his sideburned friend, and then turned to the rest of us to greet us. "Hey guys."

It was a weird feeling acknowledging that five people knew something whilst the sixth person had no idea what was going on behind their back. It was sad, really, that the relationship right in front of our eyes was doomed with no way around it. Sensing the awkward tension, Lindsay asked Nick for a ride home as to avoid any more secrets from spilling, and he agreed without questioning allowing the pair to walk off.

"This isn't going to end well," I sighed, watching Daniel make a praying motion towards Lindsay as to beg her to not go through with her plan. "Is it?" 

* * *

"Man, I love the smell of gasoline."

It was two days later, and Daniel, Ken, Kim and I sat on the hood of Daniel's car breathing in the smell of students leaving the lot for the end of the day. Being it a Thursday, people had grown antsier and antsier as tomorrow's big basketball game approached. Lindsay still hadn't made a move on the Nick situation, and at this point we had given up trying to talk to her about it and left the situation in her hands trying to reassure ourselves that she would make the right choice for herself. We had, however, taken to trying to avoid the pair, as we didn't want to interact with a hurt Nick nor an awkward Lindsay.

"Yeah?" Kim scrunched her face up at Daniel's comment, sipping more pop up out of her straw as she slowly finished her drink. We had made a trip down to a burger joint for lunch, and now sat finishing our meals before heading home. "Gives you brain damage."

"She's right," I chipped in once Daniel shrugged her analysis off. "Remember that drug lecture they gave us? Where they showed those heroin addicts?"

"I remember that," Ken squinted, as if he had filed away the memory deep in his brain. "Didn't they film someone huffing gasoline?"

Before Daniel could reply to any of our inputs to his original statement, a shining red convertible pulled up in front of the Trans Am in the school's parking lot. Four boys sat in the cream leather seats, smiling as if they had some sort of secret and already making my stomach twist with uneasiness. I didn't recognize any of these boys, and I was capable of remembering most usual faces that attended McKinley high. It wasn't usual for outsiders to show up on our property unless they had bad business to attend to, and I wasn't looking to have any part in that.

"Hey," The boy sitting in the driver's seat of the car didn't turn off the engine, instead leaning over to yell a question that I wasn't expecting. "you guys go to McKinley?"

"N- " I was prepared to deny going to school anywhere in the area in fear that these creeps had ill intentions, but was interrupted mid word by a bold Kim.

"Yeah?" She scooted down further on the hood of the Trans Am and cocked her head at the four boys, who were now grinning dangerously. "Why?"

"Norsemen SUCK!"

I already knew what was coming.

In a flurry of movement and yells, they lifted themselves out of their seats and began to hurl eggs and canisters of what I assumed to be pop at us. We screeched and tried to take cover, but they had taken us completely by surprise and now we held awkward wet patches in our clothes that had come from either the diary products or the sugary drinks. The eggs made awful smacks as they connected with the hood of Daniel's car, and before I knew it we were all wet and pissed off. The car peeled away after having bombed us, and considering our sudden rage we chased after them a good several feet and whipped our own pop canisters after them.

"Fuckers!" I hissed, wiping my left jacket sleeve off.

"Dammit, I'm soaked!" Kim whined, trying to dry herself off as well. "Will you do something, Daniel!?"

"Whaddya want me to do?!" My best friend snapped back, a stormy look crossing his features as he didn't even bother to try and shake the liquid on his jacket off. It was sad to see his good mood ruined; he had been so calm and serene the whole afternoon that it was almost tragic that an event like this had occurred and just ruined his entire day. "Blow on ya?"

"That better have been water," Ken made a disgusted face, and we all groaned in response as we trudged back to Daniel's car. "that's all I'm saying."

"We're gonna nail those assholes next time we see them," I growled, anger brewing and festering inside me now that I had seen what sort of immaturity Lincoln held. "Teach 'em a lesson."

That date came sooner than expected.

Daniel had decided to do some repairs at Aldo's Auto Salvage and Tow the next day after school, knowing that since it was a Friday there was no reason to stress about time. He and Ken were currently bent over the hood of the open Trans Am, putting some last finishing touches on the engine that had needed some repairs. Aldo – the shop's owner – was a long term friend of Daniel's who always offered him parts discounted for his car. It was a relatively peaceful afternoon, and as Kim and I were propped up on either side of the car watching the two boys finish working.

"No, I mean, Nick's cool," Kim continued her ongoing argument, which consisted of the fact that whilst Nick was a wonderful friend, he went a little haywire whenever he was in a romantic relationship. "It's just that when he gets a girlfriend he goes psycho."

"Maybe he just gets so horny his brain fries, y'know?" Ken stopped cranking some mundane part that I couldn't recognize in the engine to look up at us, and we giggled in response to his statement.

"Dumbest thing you can do? Let a girl know how much you like her," Daniel grinned, and I found myself rolling my eyes at his crazy theories. "Then they just run."

"Oh, is that why you're such a bastard to me?" Kim questioned sarcastically, gently touching her boyfriend's shoulder as a sly smirk took over her features.

"Yeah, well," Daniel turned his mischievous grin to her. "you're still here, aren'tcha?"

"Touche!" I tipped my head at him as Kim laughed, and everything seemed fine for a couple more seconds until she suddenly slammed on the hood of the car.

"Oh man!" She exclaimed as I tried to recover from the small heart attack she had given me by smacking on the Trans Am so abruptly. "There's that car! Those jocks from Lincoln that nailed us! That's them!"

We all followed her line of sight before Daniel jumped into action, shutting the hood of his car and waiting until Ken and I had jumped in the back seats before taking off as rapidly as possible. Thankfully he and Ken's repairs had been almost finished, otherwise the Trans Am wouldn't have been moving so quickly as it was right now. We tailed the red convertible as quickly as possible, following it through intersections and down roads whilst trying to stay inconspicuous. Of course, Daniel's car being the color and model that it was did not assist in that endeavor.

"Go, go, go!" I urged him to speed up so that we didn't lose the car, as we had fallen behind after having stopped at a red light. "Before they get away!"

I could easily identify and remember the nice paint job on the red vehicle as it cruised into a nicer area of town, not stopping until it reached a fenced off home with a large tree covering the house from view. We pulled over in front of the car, Kim grabbing a spare canister of spray paint out of Daniel's glove compartment before hopping out alongside the rest of us. We quickly approached the vehicle and apprehensively looked both ways down the quiet street to make sure that no one was watching us, before Kim held out the spray paint towards Daniel.

"You do it," She urged, expecting him to take over with this task.

We had spray painted several times before in parks and on the sides of buildings when we were fairly inebriated, but never on other people's property who had tried to harm us before and could likely harm us if they ever found out we had tagged on their car. Daniel was rightfully nervous, but I found that my anger was taking over all other emotions when I remembered just how idiotic these boys had been pelting us with eggs and leftover drinks.

"Why don't you do it?" Daniel made a face, clenching his fists and obviously not willing to go along with this plan.

"'Cause I'm a girl."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I shoved myself in between Kim and Daniel and grabbed the spray paint out of my blonde friend's hands, kneeling beside the Lincoln schoolgoer's car only to spray 'U-SUK' in white paint. I didn't even bother to check their reactions, focusing on the lettering and making sure that it was wide and visible for all to see. This would cost those jerkoffs a fair bit to paint over, and that was a good thing – they deserved it after what they had done to us.

"Hurry up," Ken chided, and as if just on cue, a boy wearing a plaid sweater walked out of the driveway. I frowned, not recognizing him and then fearing that we had tagged the wrong car before I realized that it was too late.

"What are you doing?" He spread his arms and advanced towards us, disbelief coating his features as he noticed what I had sprayed onto the side of his car.

"We're giving your car a new paint job!" Kim bravely stalked towards him, and I rose up from my spot on the ground to stand beside her. "What are you gonna do about it, huh?"

"The hell!?" The boy grew even more hostile, face scrunching up in anger as he looked between the four of us.

"Forget it," Daniel chided, growing braver when he saw that there was only one of him against three of us. "Water balloon boy."

"Yeah, thanks a lot." Ken added, but before anyone could do or say anything else four more buff looking Lincoln jocks, proudly showing off their school's logo on their sweaters, appeared from the hidden driveway to back up their scrawny friend. At this point I knew that my stomach's natural reaction was supposed to be fear, but I was still feeling rage from yesterday and not understanding that my artwork may or may not have been a bad choice.

"Hey," I heard a very nervous Ken backing up, sneakers scuffing against the pavement as he tried to discreetly move towards the Trans Am. "Somethin' tells me it's time to go."

"Kim, Kit-kat," Daniel tried to pull us along, understanding that it wasn't technically four against five when two of us were women – and considering what these bums had done to us yesterday there was no kidding that they wouldn't hesitate to kick all of our asses regardless of gender. "Let's go, come on."

"These losers are from McKinley!" The plaid boy recognized us and inspected the damage done on his car, tone increasing in height. "Look what this bitch just did to my car!"

In a bout of anger, I took a sharp several steps forward and shoved the boy back with a surprising strength. "You're the bitch, man."

"Come on Daniel, kick his ass." Kim tried to order, but based on the lack of reply Daniel was most likely hesitant to do so.

I didn't particularly care that there were five angry men in front of me; I had dealt with Rick enough times, who was easily three of these boys packed into one oversized male, to understand that when push came to shove there were ways to defend yourself that could immobilize or easily hurt the other person. The groin, feet, head and solar plexus were all good areas to target, and although it was more likely that if my friends turned and fled and I stayed to fight I would become overpowered, I was angry enough that my determination assured me I could get a couple of good shots in before I went down.

"Kick my ass?" The boys and his team took several threatening steps towards us, clearly expecting an altercation and forcing me to back up slightly into my group of friends.

"Tell my mother I love her..." Daniel's surprising statement was the last thing I heard before shit really started to hit the fan.

In mere seconds there were fists being flown, and I managed to duck away from one before kneeing the boy hard in the groin and stamping on his foot. He went down groaning, and I took the opportunity to lay a hard right hook on his face that would definitely leave a bruise.

My moment of sweet victory did not last however, because before I knew it I was being tackled down to the ground by a Lincoln boy who was relatively small – most likely having been selected to fight me consider he was the only one out of my friend group he could 'take' – and having my face squished into the gravel. In a surprising display of violence, my hair was gripped and my forehead was now being rammed into the ground over and over again until my brief cry of pain gave me leverage against my attacker.

I managed to free my arm and swung it blindly behind me, satisfied as I heard – and felt – it connect with what I assumed to be part of the boy's jaw with a satisfying 'crack'. He went toppling over to the side which freed my small form from underneath him, and I quickly straddled him only to start hurling my fists towards his face. Of course, being the small bird-armed girl I was it didn't take him long to lay a mean right hook to my eye and blind me for a good minute or two, but I managed to keep him pinned down until his next hit which would fortunately be his last.

His fist came hurtling towards my face at a speed at which no previous fight had prepared me for (I had been in too many to admit) and I felt my nose break with a sickening crunch. At this, I let out a furious cry of pain that must have stopped the rest of the kids from their fighting matches, for there was no noise in the air as I laid a final elbow on the boy's temple and he flopped over like a limp fish. At this point I raised myself from the ground and stood shakily, looking around me at the Lincoln boys who had realized we were quite the match – that was most likely thanks to a terrifying Ken who was particularly brutal during fights – and were escaping back onto their hidden property.

Ken was helping up Kim, who's lip looked like it was split, and Daniel was sporting a gash by his left eyebrow that would leave a nicely placed scar. Ken, on the other hand, looked relatively clean save for a red spot or two that would inevitably become a bruise. My nose, on the other hand, was bleeding like a waterfall, and I fervently tried to stop the flow with the sleeve of my army jacket.

"We kicked their asses!" Kim grinned, lifted her hands high above her head in victory until she spotted me and they moved to cover her mouth. "Holy shit, Katherine! Your face!"

Both Daniel and Ken immediately turned towards me, and I raised my spare arm to let them know that I was alright. Despite Daniel's prying arms and Kim's efforts to clean my 'bloody mess'. I had no idea that I looked the worse of the bunch, but assured them that my attacker was most definitely in higher pain than me at the moment. We had showed Lincoln who was boss, and although the adrenaline was fading it didn't matter because the pride that came along with a well-earned victory was still on high.

"That's a broken nose, Kat," Ken grimaced towards me as we all piled back into the car, and I grunted one more in pain as I tried to stop the blood flow.

"What!?" Kim flipped around in her seat, eyes widening when she spotted what I assumed to be my crooked nose. "Move over, Ken."

She abruptly slide into the backseat, making me reel back in nervousness as to what was about to happen. Kim and I had reset each other's noses several times after fights, but each time had been messier than the next and had hurt like a bitch. I most definitely, one hundred percent did _not_ want to go see a doctor, but being treated by Kim was something I didn't want to touch with a ten foot pole.

"No!" I swatted Kim's hands away as she tried to close in on my nose, my mind flashing back to the last time Kim had reset my broken nose after a fight with Lucy Grant – I still had a scar from her fake nail tearing across my cheek – and the nosebleed hadn't stopped for another two hours. "Kim, no! Remember last time!?"

"Stop it, Kathy!" Kim tried to shove my hands down to no avail, knowing fully well that any time I had tried to fix her nose I had always been forced to try twice. "Trust me, it'll be fine – I've always been better at it than you!"

She had a point there, so I stared at her begrudgingly as we eyed each other wearily. Daniel had stopped the car several blocks away from the location of the fight, and was now staring towards me and my blonde friend whilst trying to dry the wound on his forehead. Ken was already clambering into the front seat, having picked up one of Daniel's spare shirts the boy kept in his trunk to hand it to him as a better

"Come on, Kitty-kat," Daniel reprimanded from the driver's seat, pressing his own t-shirt against his forehead whilst Ken stared on at the two of us. "You want us to take you to the hospital?"

"Fine," I nodded towards Kim, who quickly positioned her thumbs over my nose. "No hospital, just be – AGH, motherfucker!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and shrieked as pain ripped through me, Kim having applied pressure at what was quite possibly the worst moment. For several seconds I was speechless with shock and agony, before I finally recovered and punched the back of Daniel's seat to try and distract myself from the soreness that was taking over my face. There would no doubt be a bruise, and at this point my nosebleed hadn't gotten any better nor had the undeniable nausea that was becoming a problem.

"Guh – shit!" I clutched my stomach in surprise, feeling vomit build up in my esophagus too quick for my liking. "Gonna puke."

"Not in the car!" Daniel yelped, and before I knew it I was vomiting out of the side of Trans Am, watching the contents of my stomach splatter onto the pavement below.

"That's it," I muttered, leaning back against the seat and wiping my mouth off as another one of Daniel's spare shirts was tossed to me. I held it against my nose as my best friend started the engine again, Kim switching seats with Ken so that she could reapply her makeup. "I want to go to that game."

"What?" Ken looked at me in surprise, a little smile coating his features.

"You heard me – I want to go to that game," I nodded, now having caught the attention of everyone in the car. "Lincoln deserves a loss – let's make sure they get it."

"Alright!" Daniel whooped and grinned, Kim now having joined in with the chorus of cheers and fully experiencing the affects of the adrenaline that our victory had bought us.

We hollered insults towards Lincoln all the way back to McKinley high, knowing that even if they could not hear us our attitudes would serve us well in the big game that was going down in about an hour. When we pulled into the school's parking lot we barely noticed how messy we looked, uncaring that the gashes in our faces were most likely unacceptable to walk around with on school property and instead focusing more on the amped up hype that we were now exhibiting as we entered the school through the main doors.

As soon as we had immersed ourselves in the crowd, which was now parting to let us through after they saw what state we were in, we caught site of Lindsay standing next to a man with similar facial features – I could only assume he was her father – and rapidly made our way over to say hello.

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed upon catching sight of us, and her father blanched at the sight of our injuries as well. "W-what happened to you guys?!"

"We got jumped by some boneheads at Lincoln," Kim explained, and I subconsciously swiped at my nose before remembering that the bleeding had stopped on our way over to the school.

The men surrounding Lindsay's father, all wearing equally stuffy suits as if this school game was some sort of board meeting, gave us strange looks. There was no doubt in the world that these high end men disapproved of fighting in any capacity, which probably explained why Lindsay and her father were both looking a little nervous at the moment. I imagined her father did not want to have his name slandered in the community, and Lindsay did not want to have her name totally slandered at home either.

"Jumped?" Lindsay questioned, alarm clear on her face as she examined the damage that had been done to each one of us. "Why?"

"We trashed their car." Ken grinned slyly, and I found myself laughing cockily at the mention of our triumph.

"They had it coming!" I piped up, huffing as I placed my hands on my hips and tried to ignore the fact that my eye was starting to swell. One of the men in a brown suit with a green tie gave me a concerned glance.

"Dad," Lindsay's tense tone hinted that she wasn't really proud of introducing us as her friends, even though some of us had already met her father. I hadn't had the 'privilege', although from what it seemed this man really wasn't worth getting to know. "You remember Daniel, and Kim…and this is Katherine and Ken."

"No," Mr. Weir pretended to not recognize us in front of his friends, causing whatever remnants of a smile I had on my face to disappear. It was low to sell out your daughter like that, especially because of your reputation in a community. "I don't believe I've had the pleasure –"

"Yeah!" Daniel interrupted, butchering Mr. Weir's plans and making it clear that he had met the man before by forcing himself into a hug. I didn't know if Daniel was doing it on purpose to foil Mr. Weir's plans of trying to keep his name clean by pretending not to know 'community scum' like our gang of freaks, but either way it was bringing a smile to my face. "Mr. Weir! You remember me! How's Mrs. Weir doin'?"

"Oh – uhm, she's – ah…she's okay," Mr. Weir started to look extremely uncomfortable, especially at the mention of his wife, and tried his best to save the situation. "Now Lindsay, why don't you just run along now with your friends, okay?"

"Okay," Daniel agreed sarcastically after letting go of the man, tone revealing that he knew fully well what Mr. Weir had been trying to do.

"Go Norsemen!" Mr. Weir cheered as we backed off, Lindsay in tow while we headed to the gym.

"Go, McKinley!"

The game started after several minutes of our arrival, although Lindsay disappeared to undoubtedly search for Nick – the outcome of that situation still wasn't clear – and we didn't start cheering until our players actually got close to scoring a goal. We all watched as Todd Shellinger, our star player, lined up for a shot and successfully scored a basket.

"Go McKinley! Gun 'em down!" Daniel shouted, standing up to make sure that the other side of the bleachers, where all of the Lincoln visiting guests sat, could hear him. "Lincoln YOU SUCK!"

After our two day turmoil with the boys from Lincoln who had originally thrown eggs at us and lit the fire of sudden passion for this basketball game, we were especially enthusiastic about beating Lincoln once more on the actual playing field this time. Our out of school victory still counted as a great success, but this match proved actual sporting superiority over the other and could be used as leverage in the future. Considering McKinley hadn't won regionals for quite a while, like Coach Fredericks had mentioned, the crowd around us was reacting very well to our enthusiasm.

"Yeah! Come on, way to go, buddy!" Daniel hollered and clapped once more as another basket was scored. "Get down there, defense!"

After another two points on our side and one on Lincoln's – for which Kim, Ken, Daniel and I booed with a passion we had not known existed inside of us – there was a fairly tense half time with some wacky deliveries from the cheerleaders. The mascot was running all over the place and disrupting their no doubt 'well-planned' cheers, and I found myself laughing along with the rest of my school as I relished in the fact that their prissy little pristine plans were getting ruined. This sort of karma was an adequate punishment for all of their joint crimes against the society of the school, and how rude they had been to not only me but countless other innocent victims.

"Lincoln, Lincoln, I've been thinkin', what the hell have you been drinkin'!?" I clapped and sang along with my three friends, eager to see our victory over the other school and wanting the opposite team to know just how much we detested them.

Another basket caused more cheers from us, and Daniel rose out of his seat again to cheer. "Yeah, nothin' but net, baby!"

"In your face, losers!" Kim screamed, pointing a finger at Lincoln's bleachers.

"Yeah!" A prissy looking girl sitting beside me grinned, nodding along as if we weren't freaks at all and it was completely normal for her to be talking to us. "That's the spirit guys, you rock!"

The four of us turned to look at her completely, our beaten up faces making her retract for a split second and seemingly regret having interacted with us before she shut up and didn't bother saying anything else for the rest of the game. Even if we _were _being over-enthusiastic in terms of our usual involvement with McKinley's out of school activities, it didn't mean that the status quo was going to be changed. Freaks would be freaks, and socs would be socs; as long as we didn't bother each other and accepted that neither was better we could live in harmony.

The Coach's whistle drew my attention back to the game, where one of our players had gotten knocked down therefore angering our side of the gym. This caused us to jump up and boo the other team, yelling obscenities in the midst of the jeering knowing fully well that we could get away with such language when everyone else was screaming around us.

Everything was redeemed in the second half of the game however, and before we knew it the final basket was being shot by Todd Schellinger himself. The boy lined himself up and arched the ball perfectly into the net, encountering little interference from the other team who by this point were visibly exhausted and held no more fire in them. Our bleachers jumped for joy, cheering and shouting as Ken, Daniel, Kim and I erupted into screams.

"YES!" I put both hands up in the air, experiencing a second bout of joy despite my now very swollen eye. "In your FACE, assholes!"

It was an exhilarating feeling to know that we'd won, but I knew that the happiness of sweet revenge would only last me awhile as I knew that heading back to my own house was in order. I hadn't appeared there for the last two weeks, having done a good job at shacking myself up at my friends places and making sure to avoid my house entirely, but I knew that I needed to go back every once in awhile to avoid my parents calling the police on me.

So, with heavy reluctant steps, I followed my group of friends towards the school doors and prepared to say goodnight to them. It was sad; I really did wish that there was a way for me to move in with Daniel, or start renting an apartment with Kim – but I just couldn't move out of my home. A feeling kept drawing me back there and I couldn't find it in myself to call the police on my so-called parents, despite the hatred I had for them sometimes.

"Hey Welsh, you need a ride home?" Daniel broke through my thought process and opened his car door in invite once we had reached the lot, and I found myself hurriedly accepting and sliding inside his vehicle alongside Ken and Kim.

We waved goodbye to Lindsay and her father, who pretended once again that he didn't know us and that he hadn't seen our gestures, and sped off down the road. Ken's house was closest, meaning that Daniel was going to drop him off first before probably driving Kim and I home – or taking Kim to his house and dropping me off, whichever combination worked best. I valued the minutes of time I had left with my friends before I had to retreat to my dingy little room by myself, and smiled as we talked about the highlights of the game.

"I'm so glad that we beat those losers," Kim checked her split lip in the compact mirror of the Trans Am. "They totally deserved it."

"I liked it when the Lincoln kids started getting red in the face," Ken chuckled, imitating one of the rival school's boys once more. "_They're cheating_!"

I laughed at his teasing and found myself amazed at how quickly his perspective could change; days ago he had been making the same jokes about his own school, but now that we had been personally involved in an incident with Lincoln our experiences had transformed our views and made us model enthusiasts for our competitive activities against the other school.

"What jerks," Daniel grunted, stopping the car in front of Ken's house.

Our friend exited with a final goodbye, and without further ado Daniel zoomed away until we were flying along the streets, radio blasting and tires screeching around corners. Daniel could be a safe driver when he wanted to, but at this point in the day after so many incidents happening and so much built up tension, it was clear that the boy wanted to let off some steam. And considering the fact that it was so late the traffic had slowed considerably, both Kim and I allowed him to continue the vicious speed that he was driving at.

I didn't realize that Daniel wasn't going to drive me all the way back to my house until he pulled up in front of his own and stopped, clambering out of the car and automatically pulling forward his seat so that I could climb out. Kim was already on her way into the house, ready to go to bed after what we liked to call a 'hard days work'.

"Are you gonna pick something up?" I frowned, looking up at his house in confusion.

"Nah, we're home," Daniel gave me a funny look before grinning at me, holding out his hand as to offer me assistance to climb out of the car. "You said 'home', right?"

I grinned back at him as I realized that to him, when I said 'home' it meant wherever he or any of my friends were. His mission, along with Kim, Ken and Nick – to a certain extent – was to keep me safe especially knowing what went on in my house. Daniel hadn't even realized that my intention had been to go back to my mother's place tonight; he had heard the word 'home' and assumed that I had meant staying with him, in a safe place where I was at ease. To him, this reaction was automatic and his confusion with my reaction at the moment revealed that.

Another part of Daniel's gesture that I had to agree with was the fact that he had distinguished between 'house' and 'home'. 'House' and 'home' were two very different things. A house was a physical thing where people ate, lived and slept to a relatively comfortable degree. A home was somewhere where you could feel safe after a long day; put your feet up and not give a crap about anyone screaming at you, or sit for hours reading a good book. Home was where you would go not to feel categorized or shunned or stupid, but to feel warm and happy and welcomed. Only now did I realize why I had always called my house, 'house' and not 'home'. It was because home was where the heart was. My heart was with my friends – the ones I called my family. It didn't matter where I went, as long as I was with my friends.

So I happily took Daniel's hand, and followed my family into my home.


	11. Chapter 10 - The Diary

**The Diary**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

It was nine in the morning, and I was absolutely freezing cold.

I was shivering in my converse and thin socks, wondering how the hell Kim had convinced me to hitchhike with her and Lindsay this morning and why the hell I had left my coat at Daniel's last night. I was unfortunately broke and his car was under repairs again, so I had been forced to tag along with the girls in the freezing cold weather since none of us wanted to walk all the way to school in the cold. So now, I found myself thrusting my chest up into the air with my finger out, listening to Kim yell obscenities after cars that refused to pick us up.

You really couldn't blame cars for not picking up hitchhikers, especially young girls like ourselves who drivers could get in a lot of trouble for granting rides to. Besides, hitchhiking was a last resort that Kim and I used when we were either running very late or didn't want to walk to school, today's case obviously being the latter of the two with the colder temperature – although Kim continued to stress that she wasn't cold at all and that it was because I had to eat more – and Lindsay in tow, who was never late to anything. It was generally safer to have one of the boys come with us, but Kim had been dead set on giving Lindsay some experience and it just so happened that Nick had conveniently given Daniel and Ken a ride in his car earlier that morning.

"We should definitely be getting a ride," Kim complained after the fifth car passed us by. "Right here is the best spot."

"Don't listen to her," I urged Lindsay, shaking my head as I squinted against the sun's rays from behind my sunglasses. "She's said that about like ten other spots."

"Oh shut up!" Kim smirked from a couple feet away. "You picked the spot where that creepy trucker picked us up last year."

"It's called hitchhiking," I deadpanned, raising both my arms as if to suggest that it wasn't my fault. "You can pick up creeps no matter where you are!"

"This is cool," Lindsay smiled as another car passed by us, and I pulled a face.

She hadn't been hitchhiking enough to understand that this sort of thing _wasn't _cool. It was stupid, and the only reason Kim and I ever did it was because we were too lazy to walk to school or extremely tardy. Despite the risks we embarked on these risky journeys because at the end of the day we appreciated heat and were willing to beg for it. People like me and Kim – who's homes had poor insulation and little heating – sought out the warmest buildings or friend's homes to take comfort in during the winter months because of this.

"We're so sheltered, y'know?" Lindsay continued, a fascinated edge taking over her voice. "There's this whole other America out there! I mean the person who picks us up could be an artist, or a physic, or -"

"Or an escaped felon." I interrupted, trying to remind her that this was extremely dangerous and only succeeding in getting her to give me a look.

"Okay, one thing that helps;" Kim interrupted us, grabbing Lindsay by the hips and forcing her to jut her chest out. "Points your boobs towards the road."

I was already sticking out my chest as far as it went, so I settled for pouting my lips some more and tousling my hair until I figured that it looked somewhat decent enough. After several more obscenities and stomping of feet, a car stopped a couple feet away from us and we clambered inside.

"Hey," Kim greeted the driver. "Drop us as close to the corner of Wilson and Elvis as you can."

The driver was silent, and fear peeked in my stomach. Usually there was a nod or a 'alright, sweetheart'. But this driver was completely silent. Maybe he was a mute? That would have been the best of a bad situation. I didn't have time to figure it out, however, because Lindsay decided to be an idiot and introduce us causing me to nearly growl at her to shut up.

There were certain rules to hitchhiking; you never smoked before a ride, you never got into the trucks or vans, you never hitched at night, there was no backseat driving, and you had to offer to pay your way if it was a long route. Last but not least, you tried to control your mouth. It was dangerous enough climbing into some stranger's car, but if you began to tell the driver things about yourself, you never knew what they could do with the information.

"Are you from around these parts?" Lindsay smiled at the man as we began to pick up speed, and I shoved her in her leg in efforts to try to get her to stop as well as shot her a very alarmed look, but the man had already spoken.

"1210 lilac terrace," He rasped, leading me to frown. Why would he have given his direct address? To assure us? Was there a subliminal message in there that we were supposed to have detected?"

"Oh. So what do you do?" Lindsay continued, but the man didn't respond to her question and so she tried again, much to my horror. "You pick up hitchhikers a lot?"

"Listen," The man suddenly stopped the car, looking between us three girls with a frown marring his face and beady eyes on Lindsay. "I know you. I buy gear from your dad's store. I don't think you girls should be doin' this – and I feel obliged to tell 'im what you're up to."

I face palmed again, slapping Lindsay for the second time as we all huffed at her stupid amateur choices. The man was nice enough to drop us close to the school, but we all knew that there would be shit to pay. From what it seemed like Lindsay's parents were nosy little shrews who wanted to keep their precious daughter as precious as possible, and this in turn affected us and our parents as well. Thankfully my folks were way worse than any of my friends and tended not to pick up their phone very often, leading me to believe that I was safe in terms of anyone contacting my parents to let them know what I was up to. Generally, they didn't really care unless I didn't show up at the house for a long period of time, so there was a very little chance that I was going to get in any sort of shit storm involving this hitchhiking incident.

Oh, how wrong I had been to assume such a thing.

The next day, it became very clear that Lindsay's parents were extremely upset about the matter because she had called both me and Kim – I had been staying at Kim's house ever since her mother had personally apologized for yelling at me over accidentally breaking a plate (she had blamed it on being high strung at the time) as Cookie knew how bad my home situation was – and told us that her parents wanted to meet our parents.

"What!? No!" I blanched, looking between her and Kim in a flurry of panic. "No – my parents don't even answer the phone, and they'll just show up drunk a-and -"

"Listen, just..." Kim was stroking a hand through her hair in stress, and had started pacing back and forth in the hallway. "Just send my mom instead, okay? Katherine's parents are...it just wouldn't work. My mom even knows how bad they are."

"Kim," I covered my mouth in fear, at this point ignoring Lindsay who was looking between us as if she had no idea what was going on. "What if your mom says something?! She already saw some bruises...she might think o-or say -"

"It's fine," Kim clenched her jaw, steeling her eyes and nodding towards Lindsay who tried to smile despite the tense situation. Kim was easily frustrated by the fact that I had never reported my home abuse, but I could easily call her a hypocrite based on the way Jack – her own stepfather – treated her at home. He was verbally abusive and downright disrespectful, causing a stressful home environment that I had witnessed on many accounts. "It'll be fine...just send my mom."

I appreciated Kim's gesture, knowing fully well that her mother could blab on about how she was disappointed with her daughter for hours and also acknowledging that by doing this Kim was sacrificing a lot of possible information to Lindsay's parents. In turn, especially with Cookie's extensive knowledge about me over these past years, it put my reputation at risk as well as the chance of my 'situation' being exposed to the school. The last thing I needed was to be called into a mystery meeting with Mr. Rosso because Lindsay's parents had spilled the beans on my home life thanks to Cookie, so I crossed my fingers that the blonde woman wouldn't reveal too much. We all hoped for the best when the night came around, but we also had to accept the odds that this could escalate into a giant shit storm.

* * *

Three days had gone by since the hitchhiking incident.

On the first day, Lindsay announced that her parents had called the Kelly household and that Cookie had accepted an invitation for a dinner a day later, and that they had somehow gotten the number to my home but received no response. At this, I had bristled in fear and nearly vomited, trying to control the visions of the Weirs somehow getting my address and coming to my parent's door only to call the police upon catching site of the dump I lived in. I was comforted by the fact that Lindsay assured me her parents had given up trying to contact my family, but my name still hadn't been cleared.

On the second day, Rick had pinched the back of my neck and muttered in my ear that if I ever woke him up by tripping over anything like I had that morning I would have 'hell to pay'. He had left two finger shaped bruises on the back of my neck that I had easily covered with my long hair, but the bruises that I had gotten from trying to defend myself from his smacks after I had tried to explain my accident were not so easily covered. I had left the task up to my long sleeves, and no one was currently the wiser.

On the third day, I had chosen to let my stepfather know that I didn't appreciate the way he handled the argument yesterday and accidentally had picked his hungover breakfast day, earning me a smack across the face that had left me with a yellow shiner alongside a red hand print. That had been easy to cover up with makeup, although I knew that I would have to stay at someone else's home for the night. Generally speaking the abuse flowed in cycles; some days Rick was quiet or passed out, whilst on others he and my mother were hollering and the anger was flowing like no tomorrow.

Coincidentally enough, the third day was also when Kim came back with the information about how the dinner had gone with her mother and Lindsay's parents. I had placed the incident out of mind for the time being, but when her, Lindsay and I reconvened in the hallway that day there was no stopping the concern that ebbed in my stomach.

"So my mom, like, _loved _your parents," Kim spouted as her, Lindsay and I walked to her locker. "I guess it went alright."

"Yeah," Lindsay seemed slightly apprehensive, making me bite my lip and frown in worry. "I guess..."

"What did your parents say?" Kim began to grab some books out of her locker, as well as a pack of cigarettes that we were to split between the two of us.

"Oh, y'know," Lindsay shrugged nonchalantly before leaning against the wall, clearly trying to play something down. "They really liked your mom."

This caused me to raise a brow in suspicion; Cookie wasn't generally your typical house guest, as she was noisy, rude and often ill-mannered. I was surprised to find that she had somehow behaved herself at Lindsay's and gotten the Weir family to actually _like_ her, but I suspected that the dinner had had more to do with the richer family's daughter as opposed to the actual mother they were eating with. And if I knew families like mine or Kim's at all, it was that they were excellent at hiding their true sides in the face of saving reputation.

"Cool," Kim nodded, and I took a deep breath in as I tried to figure out a way to ask if Lindsay's parents had mentioned anything about what Cookie had talked about. "I'm glad it worked out."

"And they also said..." Lindsay started, before laughing and leaning her head back against her locker causing me to raise a brow in question. "Oh, they're such dorks. Get this – I'm not allowed to hang out with you two."

At this statement, Kim turned from facing her locker to eye Lindsay strangely, and I found that my mouth had dropped open slightly. This unfortunately meant that Cookie had said something to Lindsay about me and Kim, and it had obviously been bad. Lindsay was no doubt trying to lessen the extent of the damage, but I could see right through her facade that the situation at home was way worse. Knowing her sort of lifestyle, her parents were probably snooping through her room trying to figure out what she was up to when she was hanging out with us or accusing her of getting drunk like Kim and I. The true questions were, what exactly had Cookie revealed to the Weirs? And, in turn, what had the Weirs said about us?

"It'll blow over," Lindsay tried to assure us, worry slightly warping her features before she coated it with a soft smile. "We've just got to wait it out a while, you know?"

"Well," Kim started rifling through her locker again, but I could tell in her tone that something was off. I felt off inside too; it was a weird feeling knowing that someone else had been discussing you behind your back – especially if that someone was a parent – but the difference between Kim and I was that Kim generally cared more about what other people had to say about her. "What did they say about us?"

"I don't know..." Lindsay responded, shrugging her shoulders as she watched Kim grab her coat and obviously reluctant to answer the question.

"No," Kim protested, now grabbing the cigarettes and stuffing them into her coat pocket. "You can tell me – I'm interested."

"They said you were bad bananas," Lindsay scoffed, shaking her head as if that was the most ridiculous thing in the world. "Aren't they queer?"

"Yeah," Kim tried to shrug it off, but I could see that she was growing upset. Kim was easy to read after having known her for so many years, but the blonde's attitude wasn't that clear for Lindsay who was unaware that she was walking into a landmine. "What does that even mean, you know?"

"I don't know," Lindsay bit her lip, but revealed the answer anyway. "I guess like a bad influence."

Kim slammed her locker door shut in what was no doubt festering frustration as soon as the bell rang, and I jumped slightly at both sounds cursing myself for being so immersed in the conversation. Kim and I both had spares before lunch, but Lindsay had to get to class so the brunette began retreating and walking towards her Spanish classroom.

"Well, what else did they say about us?" She prompted, both of us trailing behind Lindsay for answers like lost ducklings.

"I really don't -" Lindsay began, only to be interrupted.

"Lindsay!" I suddenly snapped, finding my shaky voice and causing the other girl to whirl around in surprise. I didn't think that Lindsay understood just how badly we wanted these answers until she saw my begging eyes, and finally caved. "Tell us, please."

"Katherine – Kim, I -" Lindsay stuttered on her words as if she truly didn't want to admit what her parents had said about us. "They said you guys weren't smart, and that you do drugs and have sex – stupid stuff like that. My parents are morons, please don't take it seriously."

"Wait," Kim stopped the girl from trying to defend herself any further, making a face as if this whole incident wasn't bothering her at all. "You don't actually think that we care about what your parents think of us, do you?"

"No," Lindsay's eyes widened and she shook her head in defense, and I found myself agreeing with Kim's original statement as I didn't mind her speaking for me in this occasion. "Of course not, no."

"Lindsay!" Suddenly the girl's name was being called, and she turned abruptly to find her Spanish teacher speaking to her in rapid Spanish.

Of course, the brainiac had to respond fluently in the language and cause both Kim and I's frustration to increase, only harming the situation further when we realized that we had quite possibly lost our most valuable friend. Lindsay no doubt was influenced by her parent's thoughts, so while it was true that Kim and I cared little of what her parent's thought of us – or anyone's parents for that matter – we truly did care about what our friends thought about us and it was depressing to think that Lindsay hadn't even defended us when her parents clearly thought so lowly of us.

"Come on, Kit-kat," Kim rapidly pulled me away from Lindsay, who was too busy trying to tell her Spanish teacher that she was having a conversation with us to notice that we had left the conversation until we were down the hall. "Let's go."

"Hey!" Lindsay called after us as soon as she had realized that we were gone, but Kim was the only one who turned back whilst I headed out to the patio. "Guys!"

"What?" I could hear Kim snap back, and then utter a sarcastic 'yeah, sure' before following me down the corridor. I could only assume that Lindsay had suggested talking later, but I didn't feel much like talking.

As soon as Kim and I emerged onto the patio we immediately lit up, sitting down on the bleachers and living in silence for a good five minutes. It took that amount of time for Kim to burst out into rant, her frustration finally bubbling inside of her until it exploded and hit me full force.

"She didn't defend us," My friend growled, flicking the ash on her cigarette rather violently. "Her parents called us sluts and drug addicts and she didn't say a fuckin' word – and did you hear her back there? With all of her Spanish crap?"

I didn't respond, incapable of finding the words to express the fear that I felt when it came to exposing the secret of my home life to any type of authorities ever. I had gotten dangerously close to this with Cookie, even though she wasn't aware of the gruesome details, and with the added pressure of knowing that Lindsay hadn't protested her parent's labeling of us as such awful girls it was too much. I didn't feel like speaking for the time being; that was what tended to happen when something strange like this happened.

"- so stupid. And it's not fair how we get labeled, y'know? Who knows if I'm a genius or something. Just because I have sex and do drugs doesn't mean I'm automatically a failure!"

I hadn't even realized Kim was still talking, but her ranting never seemed to end and continued on until the lunch bell finally rang and we had each smoked through at least five cigarettes. I followed my friend to the lunchroom, where we both lined up in the lunch line only to purchase cokes and then travel to where Nick and Daniel were already seated. Kim rapidly sparked up a conversation about how many ways one could die, knowing fully well that it would lead to a distracting conversation that would successfully divert her anger and hopefully change her mood. For me, this meant it would take focus off of the fact that I wasn't eating – or coincidentally, talking.

"Drowning is the worst, probably," Nick spoke up as Kim and I drained our coke bottles, sitting on either side of Daniel. So far the boys had come up with being eaten to death, mauled to death, dissected to death and impaled to death before coming up with various water related ways to perish. "I would hate to die sitting on like a fishing boat, with a giant wave crashing down on you."

"It'd be worse if you were, like, a deep-sea diver," Daniel argued with a fry in between his fingers. "And you came up to quick and your head exploded."

"Oh yeah," Nick agreed, pointing his fork of food in Daniel's direction. "That's worse. Lot's of pressure -"

"You know," Kim interrupted, annoyance overtaking her tone as she revealed her true emotions. "You guys are really morbid."

"Kim, you asked the question!" Nick defended the conversation, as if it wasn't him and Daniel's fault that they had gotten a little carried away with all of the vivid imagery.

"Yeah," Kim shrugged carelessly, now twirling her straw in the bottom of her drink. "But I didn't think we'd be talking about it for like half an hour."

"Hey guys," We were suddenly joined by Lindsay, who plopped down at the table and immediately lowered the mood by a good couple notches.

The only person who greeted her back was Daniel, whilst Nick sat back and glared at her from his seat and Kim and I stayed quiet. Nick and Lindsay had recently broken up – a fact I had nearly forgotten considering how rarely I spoke with Nick and how well Lindsay was masking her hurt – and it was quite obvious that the former was in a lot more pain than the latter considering his facial expression at the moment.

After Kim's rant I was fully expecting her to behave in a hostile manner towards Lindsay, although I couldn't say the same for myself. I had decided to remain silent as I though the incident through, disappointment running though me that perhaps it was certain that Lindsay truly did agree with her parent's opinion of us freaks. If she hadn't even defended us whilst her parent's basically referred to us as dirtbags, who was to say that she didn't agree with them?

"I gotta go to shop class," Nick was suddenly raising himself from his seat, and I found myself frowning as I realized that this situation had the potential to become another Heidi Henderson jam if our stoner friend didn't get his head screwed on his shoulders properly. "I told Ken I'd meet him there."

"Yeah, you know – come to think of it, Kathy and I should get going too," Kim nodded, each word in her sentence dripping with disdain and sarcasm. "'Cause we gotta go, you know, _do drugs_, and oh – yeah, _have sex_."

Her brutal punctuated words caused Daniel to rear his head back in shock for a moment before he recovered, looking towards her in shock before staring at Lindsay and then me.

"What!?" My best friend snapped, head flipping back and forth as he tried to eye Kim and I at the same time. His eyes searched ours for answers, but I merely stayed silent and shook my head. This caused Daniel to relax a bit, but he stilled looked around the table at the three women, myself included, surrounding him as if he was part of a giant puzzle.

"Lindsay knows what I'm talking about," Kim answered snippily, standing up and getting ready to leave the table as her blue eyes shone down coldly towards the girl.

"Wha -" The gears in Lindsay's head finally stopped turning as she understood that this attitude had been caused by today's previous events, and her eyes flitted back and forth between me and Kim. "Is this about what my parents said?"

"I told you Lindsay," Kim snapped, grabbing her coat off of her chair. "We don't _give_ what your parents say about us."

"Well," Our new friend urged, trying to figure out what the problem was and clearly not understanding that we were upset about the reason why she hadn't defended us as opposed to what her parents had stated about us. "Why are guys you so mad?"

"We _do _give what our friends say about us." She finished, clenching her jaw as she steeled herself for another ignorant comment from Lindsay, who obviously wasn't understanding the point nor the fact that I wasn't mad – just disappointed.

"I didn't say anything..." The brunette weakly argued, but Kim wasn't having any of it and stalked off in a huff, seemingly forgetting to invite me after her.

I didn't get up and stayed rooted to my spot, praying that Lindsay wouldn't turn on me for any comforting words. It was bad enough that someone had openly told the Weirs I was a drug addicted whorey freak, but to think of all the other crap that could have come out of Cookie's mouth was terrifying and I didn't even want to begin to think of the reason why Lindsay wouldn't have defended Kim and I when her parents had told her what terrible influences we were. We weren't bad people and we each had reasons for what we did; it was unfair for us to be judged but even sadder when our own friends didn't defend us as human beings.

"Katherine?"

To my utter horror and chagrin, Lindsay turned to me with her hopes up and I merely stayed quiet as I gazed down into my finished coke bottle.

"Kitty-kat?" Daniel nudged my shoulder, not expecting silence, but I merely shook my head in response. "What is it? What happened?"

"Katherine, I didn't say anything to them!" Lindsay fervently tried to explain, but I merely tilted my head as if to tip her off that this was the whole reason why Kim and I were so upset. "Please..."

Once it became clear that I wasn't going to talk, Daniel huffed and went back to eating his fries bitterly. Our table only held three now, the previous crowd having been extinguished thanks to the brain who was still sitting at our table staring down at her food dejectedly.

"You sure know how to clear a room." Daniel grunted towards her, probably only making her feel worse about herself in this moment.

Before she could say anything else to me or Daniel however, the lunch bell rang indicating the end of the free period for everyone and causing the cafeteria to clear. Daniel uttered a final goodbye to the brunette before he pulled me along to Algebra, trying to coax words out of me the whole way. There had been several scenarios where I had gone mute for the day, most of which being incidents where I was too irate or upset to speak partly out of fear of saying something I would regret, and partly because I was so overwhelmed I just couldn't find words for any of the situations I needed to face.

"What is it?" Daniel was murmuring in my ear as we traveled down the hallway, tucking me into his larger form to avoid the flocks of passing students. "What happened, Welsh? You gotta tell me."

I refused to cave in to my best friend's demands and shook my head stubbornly, causing him to stop us just outside the math classroom and put his hands together to imitate a prayer. I sighed for a moment and considered telling him everything when he gave me his big, brown eyed stare, but I shook my head again and merely exhibited a rare bummed out face that Daniel seemed to understand. He dropped his pleading and ushered me through the door, following me to the back of the class where we took our usual seats and tried to prepare ourselves for an hour of math with Kowcheski.

As it turned out twenty minutes later however, and a good couple of equations in that I had finally wrapped my head around, Daniel and I wouldn't have to sit through the rest of the class at all. Before I knew it there was nausea in my stomach and I debating asking to be excused, but of course waiting until the last minute and rushing to the trash can in the corner of the room only to expel my half digested coke into it.

"Mr. Desario," Kowcheski snapped, clearly fed up with my horrid nervous vomiting problem and regretfully calling the only student forward that he knew I would allow to be escorted out by forward. "Take Ms. Welsh to the nurse's office, please."

To both Daniel and Mr. Kowcheski's surprise, I not only grabbed my bag on the way out of the classroom but also stopped to grab a math assignment sheet sitting in a neat stack on the teacher's table. I didn't think that our Algebra professor had the words to retort to this incident, instead exhibiting silence as Daniel and I finally exited. I had to hide my smirk as I heard the rustling of paper and realized that Daniel had taken one too.

My small ounce of joy was short lived however, because I was now vomiting into another trash can and the retching was much more violent this time. My guts cried out in pain as I emptied the rest of my stomach's contents into the garbage bin, but I didn't make another noise besides gagging and spitting. Daniel had collected all the strands of my hair and was holding it into a ponytail away from my face, effectively erasing any chance of vomit becoming encased in my locks.

"You know, you should just start haulin' a bucket -" Daniel suddenly stopped his statement mid-sentence, and it wasn't until I stopped puking that I realized something was wrong. "What the hell is this, Kathy?"

I almost made the mistake of speaking up to ask him what he was talking about, but I froze in fear as I felt his finger trail down the back of my neck and finger the bruise that Rick had left there. A shiver ran down my spine at this, but I stood up and whipped around quickly to glare at my friend. I was tempted to spit out a word or two, but I realized that it had been my own damned fault to not take extra precautions and cover the mark with makeup instead of trusting that no one would look at the back of my neck for any reason.

"You didn't say anything?" Daniel's face broke out into a million emotions; some of worry, some of anger, some of betrayal – it was all a blurry mix and I couldn't keep up. "What else are you hiding?"

His gaze trailed up and down my small form as we stood glaring at each other, me still refusing to talk as I didn't want to reveal anything else. He knew fully well where these marks were coming from, and he also knew my reasons for hiding them. I had always tried to minimize the damage that Rick was doing to me both emotionally and physically, and had always tried to tone the situation down with my friends – just like Lindsay did with her parents in a reverse effect – as to not concern my friends any more than they were already stressed.

I shook my head, causing Daniel to cover his face and slump against the nearest locker only to have his knees buckle and his form to slide down against the green metal. He was now in a hunched sitting position, truly looking every bit like a defeated rebellious teenager that he was, and I couldn't help but go to sit beside him to try and remind him that he wasn't alone. Seeing him this way destroyed me, especially considering the fact that I was the cause of the problem and with a simple phone call I could solve this whole issue.

"How long..." Daniel muttered, still holding his forehead in disbelief as he gaze down at the floor. "How long am I supposed to do this, Kat?"

I bit my lip in guilt and willed myself not to cry, again reminded of how hard this was for Daniel and why I tried so very hard to mask the marks that Rick laid on me. I didn't want to cause this pain; I wanted it to be forgotten and for my friends to not be burdened with worrying about my safety.

"You're askin' for too much," He continued, finally letting go of his head as his gaze turned to me – begging, _pleading _for me to let him run to the phone and turn the man who was causing me all of the anguish in. "I can't – I just..."

My eyes revealed it all, because I could see him cracking as soon as his brown irises met my green ones. Every emotion I had – fear, panic, doubt, trust – it was all poured into this gaze that begged for him not to say anything until I was ready to go through with it myself. He looked towards the ceiling and grimaced, as if someone up there would help him with this decision, and then exhaled loudly like a weight had suddenly been pressed on his stomach. It didn't occur to me until several seconds later that this was Daniel's way of calming himself down in a stressful situation.

"At least show me what else he did," My friend tried to bargain, tilting his head so that I could catch a glimpse of his heartbroken expression. "Please, Katherine, _please_."

It only took another minute of his begging for me to crack, and before I knew what I was doing I was getting up and silently leading him towards the women's bathroom. The fact that it was class time meant that the washrooms would be clear of people by this point, allowing me the freedom to turn on one of the sinks and begin wiping away the makeup on my face.

Like peeling an onion of it's skin, any foundation I had applied to my yellow eye and the red print on my face was stripped away, revealing the marks that Daniel immediately examined with vigor as soon as they were off. The wet paper towel I had used to remove what now felt like a second skin dropped out of my hand and landed with a wet 'plop' on the floor, and unwilling tear leaving my eye as I saw something else inside Daniel break. He was helpless, and this caused a crack to run straight through his mainframe.

"I have to say something," He held my face in between his hands and shook his head in horror, unwept tears pooling in his eyes as I silently agreed with myself not to show him the bruises on my arms and instead focused on shaking my head vigorously. "I have to, Katherine! What do you mean, no!?"

Continuing to not speak a word, I held a threatening finger up to his face and mustered up the most dangerous face I could. He knew the consequences of calling the police too early on this case. I could deny the allegations of abuse and cover this story up if I really wanted to, despite the torture I knew my friends were going through watching me get hurt and not having any power to do anything. He was stuck in a position that he had been stuck in many times before, and I could see that gradually this was destroying him.

At this Daniel let a few tears escape, angrily wiping them away as he was forced to accept the reality I had made him accept dozens of times before. We had been over this for the last several years whilst Rick's abuse got worse and worse; there was no way that I was turning him in to the police right now – I needed time and maturity to make the decision and I was not going to be duped into doing it early. There was a time and place for everything.

"At least tell me what's going on with Lindsay..." Daniel muttered, voice muffled as he had dropped his head into his hands again. "Please."

Again, I refused to speak and continued to sit beside the boy lumped into a small ball.

"Why are you and Kim upset?" Daniel tried again, lifting his head and wiping more angry tears from his eyes before he switched questioning tactics. "Did someone say something?"

This time, I was capable of nodding slightly and this caused Daniel to let out a huff of relief that I had actually given him an answer. He was probably also happy to see that I was still capable of communication in some manner, even if it was just moving my head slightly to reveal answers. He would undoubtedly get the whole story from Kim, but the nice thing about Daniel was that when it came to situations like this he valued both sides of the story and tried to understand the entire conflict before helping. This meant that he would try to fish facts out of me, but I didn't mind as long as I didn't have to say anything and they were one word answers.

"Was it Lindsay?" He shifted so that he was facing me entirely, but I struggled to meet his gaze.

I shook my head side to side, and despite the smallness of the movement Daniel's hawk eyes caught the gesture. I didn't like thinking about how Lindsay was most likely just as bad as her parents in terms of her prejudice and mind set, so this current situation made me less than comfortable but I trudged through it on Kim's behalf. Someone deserved some answers around here, and if Daniel knew more about the situation before approaching a very rage-filled Kim it could help.

"Was it her parents?" My best friend tried to clarify, and I gulped quietly before nodding.

I felt a fair amount of guilt giving my answers away, but knew that in the end the severeness of the climax in this dramatic situation would be lessened if I gave my input. My small answers seemed to provide a bit of reassurance to Daniel, who was still looking rather frazzled but somewhat comforted at the fact that he had narrowed down what was the problem. Now, the issue was directly identifying it.

"Did they say bad things? The usual?" Daniel asked, and I was forced to nod again as I unfortunately knew exactly what he meant.

Our freak team had been on the receiving end of the stereotype stick too many times to count, with many teachers and parents assuming left and right that we would never go anywhere nor _want _to go anywhere in life. What Daniel meant by 'the usual' was when parents talked about our illicit activities or how uncaring we were when it came to studies. I didn't need to recite Lindsay's word for word quote on what her parents had told her to Daniel, as he already had a good idea of what had been said against Kim and I.

"And your guys' feelings are hurt 'cause of what they said?" Daniel frowned, trying to puzzle out the situation while I stayed mute beside him and shook my head side to side. Upon catching sight of my answer he bit his lip and tried again, gears turning in his head. "No? Is it 'cause you think Lindsay's thinkin' the same thing about you and Kim?"

I shrugged slightly and nodded, indicating that it was my best guess that yes in fact, Lindsay most likely did agree with what her parents were saying about us. The sad thing was was that while it was true that we experimented with drugs and had sex and drank a lot – that wasn't the whole picture. We had our own lives and reasons why we made those choices, but even if they were bad choices that did not define who we were. At the end of the day we weren't just bad influences – we were good friends that tried to have fun and had feelings just like the rest of the planet.

"So your feelings are hurt 'cause Lindsay didn't defend you two," Daniel quickly riddled out, softly catching my gaze for confirmation and watching me nod glumly while I picked a loose thread off of my jacket. "You know she loves you guys, right? That's nuts."

This immediately caused me to scoff, as this whole situation was proof that while Lindsay was technically our friend, she still thought fairly lowly of us and clearly didn't bother to defend us in front of her parents.

"I know it might not seem like it right now," Daniel nudged me a bit, trying to get me to look at him and dropping his tone a couple notches. "But she's not the same as her parents."

I squeaked slightly in response to this comment, my wordless point being that no matter what Lindsay truly thought, the mistake she had made was that she hadn't stuck up for us while her parents had made staggering accusations against us. Granted, some of those accusations were true, but it was clear that her parents thought us scum that would soil their perfect daughter and therefore would not 'allow' her to hang out with us.

"Okay," Daniel nodded, acknowledging my point. "At least _I _don't think she's the same as her parents."

At this I sighed, and both of us accepted with heavy hearts that the conversation was over. Daniel didn't try to drag any more answers out of me as we left the women's bathroom, just in the nick of time for the bell to ring and for student's to begin flowing out of classrooms. It was at this point that Daniel asked me to do the favor of picking up his father's medication for me during my last period spare, and I agreed (still wordlessly however) once I acknowledged that his plan was to send me to his house as soon as possible. He explained that it was best for me to stay safe and tucked away after such an eventful day, and I appreciated this gesture very much as well as agreed with him that the last thing I needed was to be in the bustling school surrounded by more things that could go wrong while I was still in an emotionally vulnerable state.

"I'll talk to Kim," Daniel assured as he accompanied me to the front doors of the school. "Just try to relax, alright? I'll be home a bit later."

I nodded and accepted his tight hug, clutching his shoulders as I felt him kiss the top of my head before letting me go along with a wad of cash to pay for his father's pain medication. The minute I was out the doors of the school I could feel his eyes on me until I disappeared around the corner, and tried not to think about the damage I was doing with every day I didn't turn my family over to the police.

I felt guilty and awful for subjecting my best friends to such horrid roles where they were forced not to intervene, but I had an indescribable amount of fear in my chest whenever anyone mentioned the police and consistently refused to do anything about my situation. I didn't know whether or not it was a mixture of having grown up in a similar environment and feeling a pull towards it, or forever holding the guilt of having turned in my parents – one of which was my true mother who, despite her condition, I held a large amount of sympathy for.

She had taken my father's overdose very hard, and Rick had been an unfortunate side effect of that storm of emotions that had lasted up until this very moment. Her alcoholism had gotten worse over the years and dulled her memory, causing her to make horrible choices that put herself and her own daughter at risk each day. I had been emotionally disconnected from the woman ever since my eleventh birthday, when she had vomited all over the table and simply passed out in her mess. Something inside of me had switched at the sight of my parental figure so awfully twisted inside, and ever since I had dulled my caring side as a defense mechanism not to get hurt or feel stress anymore.

Purchasing medication for Daniel's father, however, struck a chord in me and reminded me of the concept of having a family.

As I scanned the isles in the pharmacy looking for the obscure and very specific over the counter painkiller that Daniel had etched in pen in my hand, I felt a certain sense of purpose. Daniel's mother, Katey Desario, had long since trusted me to pick up and deliver her husband's medication, reminding me that in a family those living inside of it tried their best to take care of each other. Granted, Daniel's family was a right cluster fuck and a half considering the fact that his brother was a drug addict, his father was virtually nonexistent and his mother was a wound-up ball of stress with a rebel for a son, but nevertheless the family was a better family than my family had ever been. Sure, it was saddening to see Daniel's father become diagnosed with Postherpetic Neuralgia – a difficult condition involving burning pain in nerve fibers and skin after Shingles had long since disappeared – but it was clear that his mother did everything she could to make her husband's life as painless as possible, and I had spent many years wishing my mother had done the same for me.

I quickly purchased the pills upon finding them and hurriedly began the walk home to Daniel's house, knowing after years of experience that his mother was used to her son's much faster pace with his Trans Am and had most likely not been notified that I was to deliver the medication today. Despite these odds, I made fairly good time and landed at the Desario home twenty minutes later, quickly passing the pills to Mrs. Desario who was hurriedly waiting on the porch.

"Give me here, honey," Katey frowned, ushering me inside and taking the medication out of my hands before veering off towards her husband's room in a rush. "Not a word from him today – I coulda guessed he dumped the meds on you tonight when I didn't hear that damned engine ten minutes ago."

I didn't say anything, acknowledging the bitterness in her words that sent a sharp tang of guilt shooting through me. If I got Daniel in trouble that would have been horrible, even though it was technically his fault that he hadn't contacted his mother to let her know that his father's batch of medication would have been delivered late today. Thankfully Katey didn't acknowledge my silence, and I listened in on the low sound of her husband's door shutting before confirming that she was preoccupied with giving him medication.

I huffed and blew a stray piece of hair out of my face before slipping my bag off of my shoulder and heading towards Daniel's room, dumping the object on his bed and shrugging off my jacket. I must have sat sitting in his room for a good twenty minutes just thinking and staring off into space, wondering if everyone else in the world was just as conflicted as Lindsay.

Sighting harshly and trying to push the situation out of my mind, I grabbed my beaten up messenger bag and pulled out the math sheet I had taken from Kowcheski's class before having left earlier this afternoon. I wanted to distract myself as much as possible from the current situation, and since the problems currently sitting in front of me seemed to be a good outlet I focused my efforts on them for the next half hour. By the end of it all I had completely understood about three of the questions, and although having successfully completed all ten I vaguely understood four and stumbled through the other three. It was better than nothing, but apparently my face was still resting in bitch mode because before I knew it Katey was knocking on her son's door and I was looking up at her curiously.

"What's wrong?" She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she looked down at me on Daniel's bed, sitting cross-legged as I put away my math homework.

I pulled a confused face as a silent question, hoping that she wouldn't force me to speak and retained the same interrogation capabilities as her son.

"You're quiet today," Katey raised a brow and tilted her head, and the reality of just how motherly she was with me smacked me in the face. I had never properly acknowledged it, but I had hung around the Desario household enough now for Katey to begin behaving like an aunt to me and this was more than I could have ever asked for. "By now you've usually said a word or two, sweetheart."

Trying to ignore the swell of emotions that came with a parental figure showing that she actually cared about me, I shrugged and tried to express enough emotion in my eyes to let her know that today just wasn't my day. She seemingly understood because now she was nodding along and sitting down next to me on the bed. Katey had also bared witness to some of my mute periods of time, acknowledging that whenever this happened I was either too stressed out or too overwhelmed to fully acknowledge

"Did somethin' happen at school?" She asked, tilting her head towards me and waiting for me to nod.

I did reluctantly and noted that she shared striking familiar qualities with her son, seeing as how she had immediately read me like a book and acknowledged that I did not want to speak for the time being. Her tactics for this case were similar and easy for me, which was something that I was nearly about to hug the woman for in relief.

"What was it, a fight?" She asked, and then tried again after my brief nod to the side in affirmation. "Did someone say somethin'?"

I shook my head up and down, causing her to click her tongue in disappointment at what I could only assume to be sympathy or disappointment with the other kids at McKinley.

"Don't listen to what anyone says about you," Katey tutted, causing me to actually turn to look up at the woman in surprise of the oddly spot-on advice even though she had no idea of the specific situation. "Like the great Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 'no one can make you feel inferior without your consent'."

I bit my lip and nodded slightly, showing her that I understood the quote and the meaning behind it. Without even asking about the details of the incident Katey had given me the exact advice I needed to hear, and I fully acknowledged the reason why she was reciting those specific words to me. Even though Lindsay or her parents didn't agree with Kim and I's choices, at the end of the day it really didn't matter what they said about us. Sure, it hurt that Lindsay might have agreed with her folks and not stood up for us in the face of ignorance, but there was no use mulling over it because we decided our own worth.

This, of course, had to be taken into stride with the situation however, and Katey accepted that while her quote could help in the long run it would take awhile to actually reach the point where I was past caring what Lindsay thought about me. I couldn't help but feel that the girl's opinion held a certain value, especially since she was our new found friend and had come from such an enlightened community of people (or so we liked to believe). The parent's were a whole other scenario, but Lindsay was a concern that I couldn't deny was very present in my brain. The main question for me at the moment was: why hadn't she stuck up for Kim and I?

I mulled this question over after Katey left her son's room, while I brushed my teeth and while I got ready for bed way earlier than usual. Drinking and staying up until four in the morning had disrupted my sleep schedule, and considering the fact that I was way behind on my hours of rest I decided to turn in early at around eight o'clock. Katey didn't have a problem with this, and I continued to think about the ongoing drama surrounding my friend group as I switched off Daniel's lamp and lay in the partial darkness. It took a good half hour of tossing and turning and vicious contemplating in my head until I finally got to sleep, but by the time Daniel showed up from his evening out with Kim I was woken up all over again.

"All burnt out, Kitty-kat?" He murmured as closed the door to his room, and I sighed softly in response as I buried my head further down into the pillow. "Told you that'd happen if you drink too late."

I didn't reply, existing in a half-asleep state as I listened to him rifle through his drawers in search for a sleep shirt and pants. He opened the door twice more, once to bid his mother goodnight and apologize for not having called her earlier, and again to brush his teeth before clambering into the spot in his bed beside me. I expected him to adjust several times before finding a comfortable spot, which he did, and waited until he inevitably spoke up for his ever so common pre-sleep conversations.

"Mom says she talked to you," He rasped slightly, one of his fingers coming up to draw patterns on the scars that lay on my inner wrist. He still hadn't seen the bruises on my inner arms. "What'd she say?"

I frowned and shrugged slightly, not wanting to open my eyes and again refusing to talk. I couldn't find the energy at this point, and Daniel obviously understood because he was already firing off the next question.

"Can you tell me when this is all over, then?"

I nodded the tiniest bit, the motion undetectable for anyone sitting even a meter away, but Daniel caught it and I was rewarded with a small huff of pleasure. There was no doubt that this scenario would either go downhill or blow over in a mere matter of days, so in reality my best friend's request wasn't all that bad and I was more than willing to agree. His mother's advice had been sound and he deserved to know, especially since it could undoubtedly make such a bit impact on my life down the road.

"It'll be alright, Kit-kat," Daniel muttered, and I could hear the fatigue dripping off of every word in his sentence as he slowly drifted off to sleep alongside me. "Everything'll work out in the end."

* * *

A whole other day went by, and while all Kim could talk about was the drama going on with Lindsay I still hadn't uttered a word. With my blonde friend doing all of the blubbering it really didn't matter whether or not I spoke, and I didn't feel like talking when the issue was already being addressed by my friends. Despite Daniel's several attempts to try to get me to utter a phrase throughout the day I refused, and he had been forced to listen to Kim's rants for any extra information. By the next morning it was clear that the stress of the situation was taking it's toll on Daniel, as when I listened in to his conversation with Lindsay even his voice was sounding strained.

"Lindsay," My best friend approached the brunette at her locker near the end of the day, and I hid myself behind a set of lockers as to not be seen by the pair so that I could listen in. This position might have granted me a few strange looks, but I tried to act nonchalant as I eavesdropped on Daniel and Lindsay's conversation. "I can't take it anymore. You've gotta talk to Kim."

"Why?" Lindsay immediately retaliated, still obviously bitter over what had happened a couple days ago. "Does she want to talk to me?"

"I dunno, but you gotta do somethin'," Daniel shook his head, and I peeked around the locker for a split second to try and spot him. Upon catching sight of my boy, my suspicions that he was biting off more than he could chew with this situation were confirmed; his disheveled hair stuck up in odd, greasy directions, and I felt my heart tug at the heavy bags under his eyes. "She's drivin' me nuts – she's bitchin' nonstop about her mom, you, your parents."

I sighed sadly and allowed my shoulders to droop, eyeing the floor as I tried to figure out the right thing to do. It was placing stress on my best friend the more and more I refused to speak, and at one point someone needed to come up with a solution to this problem.

"I'm dying," Daniel continued, fixing Lindsay with a pleading expression while I continued to try stay out of sight. "And Katherine still won't talk – she's been quiet since Monday."

I gulped down the guilt that bubbled up in my throat at his words, knowing that it must have killed Daniel to see both Kim and I in these sorts of states. I nearly stomped my foot on the ground in frustration as I fought internally over what I could do, but didn't emerge from the spot behind the row of lockers.

"Well," Lindsay was clearly trying to puzzle out a solution to this problem, but I couldn't read her expression from the back of her head. "Why are they going so crazy?"

"Kim says you didn't stick up for 'em," Daniel explained, now leaning against the burgundy set of lockers.

"I tried!" Lindsay defended herself, organizing some textbooks into her bag and shrugging uselessly. "They're still mad – or upset, whatever Katherine is."

"I know," Daniel leaned in closer as Lindsay sighed in defeat. It was at this point that I realized she really did feel bad about what had happened, but she didn't know what to do with herself. "but mostly it's just their feelings are hurt."

"Oh really?" Lindsay scoffed, and I found myself tensing up at her crude comment. What was so ridiculous about us having feelings. "I thought Kim was too tough to have her feelings hurt."

Ah – that was the surprise.

Honestly, I couldn't blame Lindsay for not expecting Kim to actually feel human emotions. At the end of the day Kim was a girl just the same as any other girl; sure, she threatened to beat people up over homework and stole things with ease, but she wanted to be appreciated and respected just the same as any other girl in this day and age and Lindsay didn't realize that. I, on the other hand, was a bit softer around the edges, although I still retained a lot of the anger that Kim held as well. For the rest of the student body as well as Lindsay apparently, it was difficult to see that Kim was sensitive to comments and this was the reason why she was upset half of the time.

"Are you kidding?" Daniel cut in, beginning to explain in a rather grotesque fashion how he thought Kim's emotional system worked. "Kim's like the rawest nerve there is. She's like a body, without skin, she's like a bloody -"

"Okay!" Lindsay snapped to stop his graphic rendition of Kim, reeling back slightly. "I get it!"

"And Kathy..." My best friend trailed off suddenly, and I found myself holding my breath as he began to speak again. "You gotta be careful – she's like an onion. You gotta peel her back real gentle one layer at a time and expect some tears."

All of the breath I had been holding in left my system in a large 'woosh', as I managed to grasp the meaning behind Daniel's metaphor. In all seriousness he was correct – my personality was more or less like that of a physical onion. Each layer exposed the core, but the closer you got to the core the more likely you were to weep because of the fumes. In my case, the more you got to know me the sadder you realized my life was, or the more I was messed with the more I tended to sting back.

"I didn't know that," Lindsay responded after a moment or two, and I sincerely hoped that she was intelligent enough to understand the meaning behind his message as well. "I'll try to talk to them."

"Can you do it soon?" Daniel added while I tried to ignore the flip of nausea that my stomach did at Lindsay's mention that she would try and converse with us about the issue. "'Cause Kim's really being a pain in my ass."

"Yeah," Lindsay agreed, and I found myself nearly scoffing at Daniel's rude wording.

If your girlfriend was upset about something it was pretty much in order that you sat down and listened to her problem, just the same as if you had an issue and needed someone to listen to you rant about it. The whole point of being in a romantic relationship with someone – or in any sort of friendly relationship with someone, for that matter – was the reliability and loyalty of knowing that if you needed help or someone to talk to, the other person was there for you. I understood that Daniel was tired out after having listened to Kim talk about the same thing over and over again, but to call her a pain in the ass wasn't really fair – she was just upset and had latched onto Daniel because of my silence.

"Great," Daniel smiled, tapping Lindsay on the shoulder in thanks and briefly breaking me out of my thoughts. "I owe you my life."

In a moment of panic, I realized that the two were parting ways and that Daniel was going to pass by my hidden location. I had nowhere further to hide and no way of pretending that I hadn't been listening in on their conversation, as my spot blatantly gave away the fact that I had made an effort not to be spotted. I briefly wondered if making a run for it was in order, as perhaps if all Daniel saw was a blur he wouldn't be able to recognize my form, but before I knew it was too late and his figure was looming over me.

"You're a bad hider, Kitty-kat," Daniel grinned down at me slyly, trapping me in my small corner by placing an arm on the wall. "I'll give you some credit though; I didn't even notice you until now."

I looked up at my friend guiltily, shame creeping through my features as well considering he had realized my location long ago. To my surprise however, Daniel had proved that he hadn't realized my position until this very moment, and I hoped that that was true. If it was, his comment about my personality made sense – he wouldn't have spoken about me unless he knew that I wasn't listening. But if his comment wasn't true and he had known that I had been listening in the whole time, it didn't make sense to me why he would have described me as an onion whilst he knew I was right there and hated being talked about as if I was nonexistent. I didn't really have time to debate the topic in my head any further however, because Daniel was now pulling me out of my spot.

"Come on," He coaxed me into the river of students by a hand as soon as he realized I still wasn't going to talk, and I nearly thanked him for not pushing any communication on me. "Let's get to science."

The period passed relatively calmly with no problems in understanding; we had begun a new unit on animal life and I was rather enjoying all of the different styles of classification, especially when it came to Kingdoms and Species. Daniel was a little less enthusiastic, but upon seeing how hard I was trying and the interest that I held he tried his best to keep up and even managed to ask a question to clarify the assignment that was being handed out. I did little to hide my proud grin, although it earned me a bit of a shove from Daniel on the way out of the classroom when the final bell of the day rang.

After dumping our books in our lockers and meeting up with Nick, we searched the corridor for Kim and began to take off once we found her. Lindsay had seemingly not yet spoken with her because my blonde best friend was looking rather down in the dumps, so Daniel and I wrapped an arm around in her hopes that it would comfort her or at least cheer her up. It worked for the time being, and I even saw the beginnings of a shy smile on Kim's face as we grew closer to the main doors of the school, when suddenly Lindsay's voice stopped us in our tracks.

"Hey Kim!" She called out from behind our group, making everyone but the girl in question spin around to look at her. "Kim?! Kim!"

"Yeah?" She spat, and I flinched before turning away as well as Nick – who was undoubtedly having a hard time being around his ex-girlfriend. I knew that Kim wasn't angry at me, but it was still hard to listen to her crude tone and I briefly wondered if I sounded like that when I was upset as well.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Lindsay's voice was significantly softer this time around as she had caught the blonde's attention.

"What do you want?" Kim bitterly jutted her jaw out, as if to challenge Lindsay to speak about the incident right then and there.

"Well," Lindsay cocked her head, voice remaining nonchalant as if nothing had ever happened between the two of them – or me, for that matter, who was trying my best to hide behind Daniel and avoid this altercation. "what are you doing right now?"

"Nothing." Kim reluctantly admitted, placing her hands on her hips and sucking her tongue in a very Kim-like fashion.

"Do you wanna come over to my house?" Lindsay's question made me raise a brow while Nick, Daniel and I tried to pretend like we weren't listening. "I thought we could hang out."

"Well," Kim seemed reluctant as she pondered the invitation in her head. "what about your parents?"

"What about 'em?" Lindsay smirked, and at that point I knew that the situation was well and done between her and Kim. In fact, the blonde gave Nick, Daniel and I a wave and a smile before announcing that she was going over to Lindsay's for the day.

"Later," Daniel nodded, and the three of us were about to turn and exit the school when the brain stopped us again.

"And Katherine?" I heard Lindsay ask, and suddenly I was whirling around in my spot and trying to move my way out of the school as fast as possible so that I wouldn't have to interact with the girl.

"No!" Daniel grabbed me by the arm and forced me to stay, causing panic to grip my heart at the fact that I was being pushed into an interaction. "Talk to her, Kitty-kat, come on."

I shook my head violently as Lindsay stared on in concern, obviously not having expected this sort of situation to have taken such a toll on me. My gaze then flitted to Kim, who was looking surprisingly sympathetic and understanding for the moment as she wordlessly urged me to speak with the brunette. Between her and Daniel's pleading gazes I managed to gain the courage to face Lindsay full-on, ready to listen to what she had to say.

"Katherine – I'm sorry," She announced, and I was forced to meet her gaze as she apologized. "I didn't mean to hurt you guys."

It took several seconds for me to react to the apology, but as I accepted that the situation was over I began to nod calmly and even managed to shoot a somewhat-smile towards Lindsay. This was enough for the brunette, who gave me a full grin in return in acknowledgment that she was forgiven. It would take me a bit to fully get over the incident, as it was difficult to accept that Lindsay was still integrating herself into our friend group and needed to understood how we all operated before being able to interact with us with no kinks, but for the time being everything was relatively alright.

"Do you want to come over too?" Lindsay was nice enough to ask, but I found myself shaking my head as a representation that I still wasn't ready to accept her into my life that much yet. "Alright, well – have a good night."

Kim seemed to understand this, so she bid me farewell with a supportive one armed hug and a kiss on the forehead before our groups parted ways. Ironically enough, I heard her complaining to Lindsay about how glad she was that she wouldn't have to spend any more time whining to Daniel, while at the same time Daniel was putting his hands together in a prayer-like fashion to symbolize how relieved he was about Kim being finally off of his back. They really did deserve each other, but at this point I was past caring as Nick, Daniel and I had emerged into the bright daylight of our free Friday afternoon with much lighter hearts.


	12. Chapter 11 - Looks and Books

**Looks and Books**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

"We got a gig!"

As rare of a statement as this was, it was true that the boy's forever unnamed band had actually received jobs before.

In this case however, Daniel was particularly happy to be announcing it because of the fact that Stoker's brother, a large burly guy with a knack for throwing wild parties, had invited the gang to one of his famous festivities only to be told that he wanted them to play live. This had greatly excited the boys, who hadn't played at any venues for a couple months and in turn excited Lindsay, who was a smidge too happy that their awful music was going to be exposed to our community of freaks.

"Wow!" She exclaimed, stepping in pace with our group as we walked down the hallway. "That's really great, you guys!"

"Yeah," Nick drawled, air drumming and seemingly forgetting the fact that he was still bitter about their breakup for several moments. "Stoker's brother is gonna let us play his party. He's gonna give us a Marshall's stack and a PV bass cabinet – it's like total pro equipment!"

"Yeah," Ken joined in. "we're gonna blow the roof off of his garage in the most _rock-tageous _way."

"Yeah, so we just need your parents' station wagon to pick up the amps." Daniel held out his bright red lollipop in Lindsay's direction, nonchalantly staring towards her to see if she would consent. His question had seemingly come out of nowhere and had been delivered in the most innocent of ways, mixed into the conversation as if he had been asking for a tissue instead of a whole vehicle.

"What?!" Lindsay slowed her pace and looked around at us, shocked at the delivery of Daniel's question. "You guys can't use my parents car – they're insane about it. My dad even calls it 'Betty'."

"Lindsay, please," Daniel begged, turning to peer pressure. "I mean, we needa get those amps. Don't be lame."

"I'm not being lame, Daniel!" Lindsay argued, and I shot my best friend a warning look. If he didn't ease up, she wouldn't consent and this whole operation would be blown. "My parents are never gonna let us borrow their station wagon."

"Well," Kim cut in. "Didn't you say that your mom plays, like, bridge or something on Tuesdays?"

"Yeah, so?" Lindsay looked around, still not putting two and two together while I stared at my blonde friend in surprise. I had to hand it to her; she knew more about Lindsay than I thought she did and in this case, it turned out to work in our favor.

"So, she won't even notice it's gone!" Daniel encouraged her, once again holding his lollipop out like a sword. "Just grab the keys – we'll be back before she finishes the first hand."

"I dunno…" Lindsay looked unsure, but somehow later that afternoon I found myself sitting in the very back of Lindsay's parents' station wagon.

It was nice having the entire back seat to myself – I could stretch out and do whatever I wanted like catch up on my much needed sleep. Of course, with this noisy gang I wasn't going to get one minute of shut-eye, so I decided on staring out the window at the passing neighborhood instead. My friend's bickering was good enough noise to cover the sound of whatever god-awful radio channel had been turned on, as I could barely hear the music over the sound of Kim screeching at the fact that we were going the wrong way, Daniel's criticism of Lindsay's driving skills and Ken's threats to fart unless Lindsay didn't roll down one of the windows.

I was rather concerned at a certain point, as the car kept swerving to avoid squirrels – Kim bitched Lindsay out for avoiding the animal and encouraged her to 'just run over the stupid squirrel, Lindz!' - while Lindsay tried to keep us all in check in the back seats. I was being a good passenger and staying quiet while my friends goofed around, twiddling my thumbs as I tried to calm my urge to pull out a cigarette and start smoking. Things were getting chaotic in the car however, and before I knew it the sound of Ken's threats were the only thing I could hear over all the din.

To make matters worse, the second Kim spotted a home that looked remotely like Stoker's brother's house she began to screech that we were passing by our desired location, and lunged towards the window.

"Lindsay, that's it!" She exclaimed, completely blocking Lindsay's view as she leaned over in her seat and pointed towards what she believed to be Stoker's brother's home. "That's the house, right there!"

"Where?!" Our driver was obviously more concerned with missing the house than Kim not allowing her to see the road ahead, and since we were all too zoned out in our own brains to bother letting her know that she should have kept her eyes forward, we didn't notice what was coming next.

"WATCH OUT!" Daniel's sudden shout made me jump to attention, and with a sickening 'clunk' Lindsay went flying into the back of a car that was pulling out of it's driveway.

The car lurched forward and I gripped the back of Ken's seat immediately, screeching as the whole vehicle thudded backwards into place from the impact. I had definitely not been expecting this sort of thing to have happened, even as crazy as Lindsay's driving had been, and now found myself nearly paralyzed with fear. If this had been any other part of the car I could have been impacted and seriously injured, and Lindsay had put all of us at risk by not paying attention to the road.

"Let me out!" I immediately tried to keep the impending vomit out of my throat, but I knew that I couldn't help it and clambered over my seat to where Ken and Nick were already trying to get their side door open. "Open the fucking..." I struggled with the door for a moment before realizing it was locked. "- let me out, Lindsay! Come on!"

The girl was frozen in her spot, hands still attached to the wheel as she stared at the car she had just hit. Several pieces of her car's bumper laid strewn on the road in front of us, but the lady's car who we had hit now sported a huge dent on it that rival the crumpled front of Lindsay's father's station wagon.

"She's gonna puke, Lindsay! Open the damned doors!" Daniel warned as he shook our friend to life from her paralyzed state.

Thanks to hid warning, Lindsay jumped to life and unlocked all the doors from her driver's controls and all of us quickly stumbled out of the car to let me puke on the side of the road.

"You didn't hit your head, did you?" Ken asked, placing a hand on my back as I held my own hair away from my face and spat once in the grass for good measure.

I shook my head in affirmation and wiped at my mouth, watching as he, Nick and Daniel tried to salvage the parts that were now lying on the pavement as Kim and Lindsay tried to deal with the frantic woman now exiting the car we had just hit. I couldn't believe that we had gotten into an actual accident and felt somewhat guilty for being an accomplice in the whole plot; our group had been the ones to convince Lindsay to use her father's station wagon in the first place, so technically if we had never been 'bad influences' on her in the first place this wouldn't have ever happened.

"My God, look at my car! What were you doing!?" The lady was shouting at Lindsay as she stormed out of her vehicle and inspected the damage done. "What were you thinking!?"

"I am so, so sorry!" Lindsay cried, placing two hands on either side of her head.

I didn't want to get involved and instead perched myself near the hood of the car, looking towards the ground where Daniel and Ken were trying to figure out the overall damage done to the station wagon and see if they could salvage any parts. They were helping where they could; I had to give them credit.

"What is wrong with you!?" The woman continued, now whirling around in her spot to face Lindsay as disbelief and anger molded her features. "Didn't you see me pulling out of the driveway!?"

"Hey, lady," Kim butted in, and I found myself taking a deep breath. If there was anything my friends sucked at, it was public relations, and I didn't even want to see their attempts at trying to calm down someone who was upset with them. "She said she was sorry, y'know, we're all a little upset here."

"Don't talk to me – do _not _talk to me," The woman threatened, holding a finger up towards Kim and glaring at the girl with her beady little eyes before turning to one of her neighbors who had watched the whole thing from the sidewalk. "Barbara, could you call the police?"

"The police!?" Kim nearly screeched, and I smacked a hand to my face in frustration before doing a full standing circle and trying to come to terms with this stressful situation. All of us were witnesses, and that meant that I couldn't just run to school otherwise I would most likely be chased down by the law themselves. So I was forced to stand and listen to their arguing, which was making the situation worse if anything. "Come on, lady! Calm the hell down, alright!?"

"Kim, knock it off!" Lindsay shouted at her friend, and I jumped at the loud voices before groaning in annoyance. The anger was getting us nowhere, and the woman was just getting more and more upset as the minutes ticked by. "God, this is all your fault!"

"What!?" Kim scoffed, holding her arms out in question as I narrowed my eyes at Lindsay's accusation. In reality, it had been her fault for not watching the road – although she had a point that this whole situation wouldn't have happened if we hadn't tried to convince her to use the car. "How is this my fault!?"

"Oh, 'that's the house!'," Lindsay quoted, a nasty expression taking over her face as she and Kim began to bicker over whether or not it was truly Kim's fault that she had crashed the car. "'Right there, Lindsay! There!' You were right in my ear, I was trying to drive!"

Their tones seemed to escalate and escalate until Daniel finally cut in, suggesting that it was both their faults which caused Kim to explode onto him. Once again, Lindsay and Kim juggled whose fault it was before our brunette friend finally exploded that she was going to be in a shit ton of trouble with her father, and this just reminded the frantic woman – who was staring at our group of freaks in disbelief – of the actual accident and damage that had been done to her vehicle.

"You are gonna pay for every last cent of this damage, young lady!" She cried, pointing towards her car with a beige coated sleeve topped off by bright red nail polish.

"Hey lady," Daniel cut in, sick of the woman's antics and clenching his blue stress ball – something I had picked up at the pharmacy for him one day after seeing how easily worked up he got sometimes - angrily. "There's somethin' you might not have heard of – it's called insurance."

"Oh please," The woman scoffed viciously towards him, neatly combed hair practically trembling with anger as her golden earrings threatened to shake off. "you just stay away from me! Just stay away!"

"Yeah," My best friend waved a hand in her direction, and I could already tell he was about to say something stupid as soon as he opened his mouth. Daniel wasn't known to deal well with angry people, a trait that ran within our friend group. "Who wants to be near you anyways? You're too sexy."

The woman sputtered in shock and indignation before rapidly going to speak with her friends on the corner in furious hushed tones, motioning back towards our group as we stared on in silence. Daniel had no doubt made the situation ten times worse, and I briefly made my way around the car to smack him upside the head in frustration. That earned me a glare, but my friend knew he had done something wrong and merely grumbled before leaning down to pick up the station wagon's fallen parts that Ken and Nick were already piling in the back seats.

Eventually the police arrived on the scene as well as an ambulance, and before making sure that no one was hurt – a bystander had seen me puking and had been rather concerned – they took all of our stories and called Lindsay's parents. At this point, most of us had been cleared to leave and took off towards Stoker's house, leaving a very guilty Lindsay with sorrow expressions and somewhat of an apology. Most of us clearly still didn't feel that the incident was our fault, although we all looked a tad bit upset and were certainly not comforted by the fact that upon our arrival at Stoker's house, it was discovered that the party had been moved to tomorrow night.

We all headed home in frustration, Nick and Ken heading their own separate ways while Kim, Daniel and I decided to drink at his place instead. The night was still young and we had plenty of time to relax, so we found ourselves moseying around and splitting a bottle of rum three ways while we watched comedies late into the night. Despite the traumatic incident of today, Lindsay's car was out of our minds the minute the first couple drops of alcohol touched our tongues and we found ourselves virtually uncaring for the rest of the night.

The next day, however, was a different story altogether.

The morning consisted of Daniel, Kim and I viciously fighting off our hangovers and lugging our water bottles into his car in the morning, with me threatening to puke every time Daniel sped up the car too much. Kim snapped at us three times on the ride to school, and I ended up vomiting in the parking lot once we arrived at McKinley.

"We've gotta stop drinking so much," Kim groaned, pushing open the doors of the school as I stumbled through followed by Daniel. "This is ridiculous."

"I'm dying," Our male counterpart announced, clenching his stomach in pain as Kim burped and swallowed more of her water. "I'm definitely dying."

"Shut up," I moaned, holding my head and refusing to take off my sunglasses as we kept walking down the hallway at a pace that rivaled that of a turtle's. "Please – or I'm gonna puke again."

Daniel groaned once more but relented, and all three of us proceeded to a torture-filled first period. It was amazing how weak the human body truly was, especially under the influence of alcohol which was technically a toxin to whoever drank it. I had learnt that the substance was a poison to the body in a middle school presentation, but found it rather silly that despite these warnings all of our lives my group of friends had chosen to continue using these harmful substances.

Speaking of which, by the end of first period Daniel and Kim were feeling relatively better, having drunk enough water to re-hydrate a horse and went to the bathroom so many times that any possible toxins left in their systems were official flushed out. I, on the other hand, was still feeling a bit sick, but was now capable of walking at a normal pace and all that remained to give away the fact that I was hungover was my paleness.

I joined Kim, Daniel and Ken as we walked in between classes together, expecting today to go on as normally as possible and hoping for a mood lifter as we were still slightly put off by yesterday's events. Our hangovers had only served as a reminder of what we had been trying to cancel out of our memories last night, and while we still hadn't seen Lindsay we had all sort of assumed that the situation would blow over really quickly. Kim's exclamation when we rounded the corner however, proved that assumption totally incorrect.

"Oh my god!" My blonde best friend immediately began laughing at a very conservatively dressed Lindsay, who was donning a shin-length skirt and even had clips to tie her hair back. "Did you just come from church or something?"

I had to blink twice to make sure that this was really Lindsay, as the girl even scoffed and clasped her school books closer to her chest at Kim's comment. Where was her army jacket? Her cool cloth bag? Her regular, untamed and loose hair? This was the old, uptight Lindsay, that blended into the school's dopey population and looked nothing like the Lindsay I had gotten to know over the last couple months.

"So how'd things go with your dad?" Ken started, and immediately a bad feeling began to brew in my stomach as Lindsay fixed him with a strange stare. "Was he pissed?"

"No, not at all," Lindsay sneered and pushed past us, her tone icy and bitter. "He was really happy that I stole his car and smashed it."

I stared at my friend's form, shocked that she had averted back to her old self so quickly and that she was so furious with us. The frilly looking blouse that looked way too itchy to be wearable and the funny strapped shoes that were way off the color palate had seemingly happened overnight, causing me to wonder if her parents had anything to do with this. Was she doing it by choice, or was she motivated by guilt?

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better," Daniel tried to make amends, playing with his yoyo once more and forcing me to halt the motion by grabbing the toy out of his hands. The motion was making me dizzy, so I stuffed it into my bag without a second thought and refocused on our angry friend. "The party got moved until tonight."

"You know what, Daniel," Lindsay turned and faced us, clutching her books in frustration as she allowed her tone to grow even more sarcastic and unfriendly. "That doesn't make me feel better. And now I'm grounded, so I can't go to any of your stupid parties – ever."

I understood where she was coming from – if my parents found out that I had crashed their car they would have probably done far worse than turn me into a 'good girl', and it was obvious that Lindsay was reverting back to her old behavior because of it. Of course, it was partially true that her bad decision could have been blamed on us, as we had influenced her and pushed her to do things that she normally wouldn't have done if she hadn't been around us at the time. This caused me to feel a tad bit of guilt as I stared at her in her weird outfit, knowing fully well that if we had just been a little less selfish perhaps this scenario wouldn't have occurred.

"Why don't you just sneak out?" Daniel offered, and as soon as those words shot out of his mouth I knew that they wouldn't sit well with Lindsay.

"Why don't you just go to hell?!" Lindsay spat, frustrated at being dragged back into the conversation as Daniel stared down at her with those dangerous, dark eyes. My best friend was threatening when he wanted to be, but when he was being challenged was when the worst of his personality came out.

"God, Lindsay!" Kim exclaimed in her boyfriend's defense, taking a step forward to try and calm our 'friend' down.

"Oh, shut up Kim!" Lindsay immediately exclaimed, pulling a face as she shook her head towards the blonde. "I'm sick of you guys getting me in trouble all of the time," She continued, her words feeling like little pins in my stomach with each passing second. "I'm sick of you guys – period."

Ken didn't look like he was taking this too seriously – he was leaning against the wall with a disbelieving smirk on his face as if to suggest that Lindsay was putting on an act and would tear off her 'church' clothes to reveal her army jacket and comfortable jeans underneath any second now. I couldn't say the same for Daniel or Kim, who were looking rather put off that Lindsay was so distressed.

"Maybe you're just on your period." Daniel called out just as Lindsay was beginning to walk away, and I sharply inhaled before shaking my head at him. He really didn't know how to deal with angry people whatsoever, and was consistently making these situations worse. I was about to tell him to shut his trap and let Kim and I try to deal with the situation, but Lindsay beat me to the chase.

"Yeah," She exclaimed, spreading her hands sarcastically and raising her voice so that bystanders could hear our conversation. "Daniel – that's exactly it! I'm on my period! You figured it out!"

"It was a joke," Daniel muttered, the smirk on his face matching Ken's as he stared towards Lindsay darkly.

"Oh, sorry," Lindsay sneered once more, and I gulped as I realized that there was no joking around with this girl. She was beyond pissed, and it didn't seem that we were going to be able to do anything about this situation. "It's hard to pick up on the subtlety of your wit."

I wasn't sure if she had used her extensive vocabulary to tease us, but if my assumptions were correct that would have been truly cruel. None of us could even decipher her last sentence, and to mock someone with an insult that they didn't understand was a whole other type of low. I quickly found that my sympathy for the girl was disappearing and my anger was bubbling as the scenario grew nastier, and since I didn't even know where to place my growing frustration it only festered inside me some more.

"What's up your butt, princess?" Daniel questioned as he led our small group down the hall, trailing after a very angry Lindsay who was trying to stalk away from us.

"You are, Daniel!" She spun around again, causing all four of us to stop in our tracks. "I'm tired of you using me, all of you! You're the most selfish people I've ever met in my life!"

I briefly scoffed at these accusations, ready to start snapping about how she had merely joined our group to look 'cool' and pretend like she was different from the rest of the student body population. What did she mean that we had used her? I hadn't remembered using Lindsay for anything, period – and I was certain that that could go for Ken and Nick as well. Daniel and Kim had most likely taken advantage of Lindsay's brain, her money or her house a couple times, sure – but for the most part we had involved her in our activities because she was our friend; not because we had wanted to use her in any sense of the word.

"Look," She continued, now eyeing me with a bitter gaze that made me grimace right back at her. "I know you don't care about being smart or going school or anything, but just because your lives are such lost causes don't keep assuming that mine is."

"Hey!" In a sudden burst of confidence and anger, I stepped forward and caught Lindsay's arm before she slinked off, hardly noticing her tugging it away as I was so upset that she was spewing all of this hatred towards us. "What the hell, Lindsay!? We're not lost causes – none of us are!"

Lindsay just gave me a halfhearted smirk as she eyed me up and down disdainfully. "You just keep thinking that."

I reeled back in pain at her stinging comment, aghast at her disrespect and capability to be so rude to us as she stormed away through the double doors. It was like watching a ghost of our former friend finally float away, and I found myself swallowing any last empathetic feelings for the girl. If anything, this proved my theory that this entire time Lindsay hadn't truly been our friend and agreed with her parents' notion that we were burnouts with no ambitions, causing the anger that had been building up in my stomach to reach colossal size. I tried to control it, shuddering with rage as I tried to ignore my friends joking about the incident behind me, but eventually the mountain of anger grew too high.

"GODDAMMIT!" In a bout of fury, I whipped my textbook towards the lockers so hard that the resounding 'clang' shuddered through the hallway and stopped all movement. "SHIT!"

Before I knew it I was barreling towards the burgundy cages, swinging my fists towards them and uncaring of the fact that the hallways were still full of kids that were now darting away from me. I was in a complete blind rage, punching the lockers again and again and again until the familiar feeling of pain numbed all of my other senses and I couldn't feel the soreness in my fingers.

"Woah - woah, woah! Katherine, stop!"

I felt hands grabbing at me and pulling at me, but I violently tugged and pulled and refused to slow down as I continued to hurl my hands at the lockers. I was so angry – I could feel myself trembling like a volcano that was about to explode and I felt like collapsing and detonating at the same time. There was a rushing in my ears that I didn't notice until two sets of arms managed to contain me, but I still couldn't stop.

"She's a BITCH!" I screeched and struggled against whoever had a hold on me, spit flying from my mouth as I panted vigorously. "Fucking bitch!"

"That's enough, Katherine! Stop!"

And all of a sudden, I wasn't so angry anymore.

Perhaps it was that Kim was pleading with me in my ear to stop overreacting, or perhaps it was because I suddenly regained my sense of smell and recognized Daniel and Kim's familiar scents, but either way I was significantly calmer and could even note the exact hold my friends were using each time they had to keep someone from fighting in our circle of freaks. My arms were held by either of my friends who were pressed very close to my sides, using their bodies to squish me against them so that I couldn't budge.

"Calm the fuck down," Daniel muttered into my ear, and I blinked several times while I tried to catch my breath with wide, open-mouth pants. I was coming back to reality, realizing that I had once again made a terrible mistake and that Daniel was trying to soothe me for a reason. "It's over – it's over. Enough."

When I finally came to my senses, I realized that the school was eerily quiet and that there was a solid wall of students and teachers on either side of me. They were all gazing, some curious and some bewildered, at Kim and Daniel while they held me secure in between them. It wasn't until the vice-principle and Mr. Rosso broke through the crowd that they demanded for Kim and Daniel to release me from their grip, and while the two obeyed they stayed right by my side.

"Get to class!" The VP barked at the students staring towards my disheveled, vibrating form, then turning to me himself seemingly at a loss for words. Kim and Daniel still stayed by my side,

"Ms. Welsh," Mr. Rosso took over, voice soothing as he tried to coax me away from Daniel and Kim. "Would you mind taking a walk with me?"

"Don't touch me!" I snapped when his hand creeped closer to me, briefly acknowledging that at this point the only people left in the hallway were him, the VP, Kim, Daniel and three other unidentified male teachers who looked rather frightened.

"Okay," Mr. Rosso nodded, taking a respectful step back that somewhat calmed me down. "I won't touch you – but I do want to talk to you. Is that okay?"

I took a deep breath and ran both hands through my hair, briefly closing my eyes and trying to calm myself down even more. I recognized that while I wasn't very angry there was a fair amount of adrenaline in my system that still needed to be sorted out, and 'taking a walk' with Mr. Rosso would not have been a good idea without that dealt with first.

"Kit-kat?" Kim's shaky tone greeted my ears, and I softly nodded as if to question what she needed. "Do you want us to come?"

"Kim and Daniel can walk with us," Mr. Rosso agreed with my friend's idea, and I took one long breath before rubbing my eyes and nodding. "Yeah? Alright, cool beans – let's go."

"Theodore, I really don't think –" The VP tried to intersect our guidance counselor as he began to lead us three teenagers away, already trying to lighten the mood with his funny language.

"Ah ah – this is my job," Mr. Rosso held up a finger towards the man with a surprising amount of confidence, seemingly uncaring that he was his superior. "Let me do my job, Steve."

At this, the VP backed off with a huff, urging the rest of the teachers to head back to their classes and finally trusting Mr. Rosso with the situation. Our guidance counselor led us down the hall towards a more secluded section of the school, away from where Lindsay had disappeared to. I tried not to think about the girl and why I had been so angry in the first place, but after a good five minutes of walking in silence Mr. Rosso decided it time to begin firing out questions.

"So," He cleared his throat, hands in his pockets as Kim wrapped an arm around my waist. "Any of you kids mind telling me what happened?"

"Our friend crashed her parent's car yesterday," Kim started to explain without skipping a beat, noisily smacking on her gum in between phrases. I could tell from her tone of voice that she was miffed, but she continued speaking knowing fully well that this explanation would help my situation. "So she got really mad at us for asking her to use it and called us lost causes."

Daniel huffed in frustration, and I could only assume that he was both pissed that Kim had revealed what had happened so easily. The girl was a chatterbox, and to be honest I had not expected her to speak the truth with Rosso so easily, but apparently Lindsay's outburst had shaken her enough to begin revealing the reason why I had gotten so wound up.

"I see," Mr. Rosso's brow furrowed, and I began to wonder how on earth he was keeping himself from firing off questions left and right after what had happened. It was either a guidance counselor's dream or nightmare to interrogate a student with anger issues, and considering Mr. Rosso was clearly part of the former category I was shocked that he hadn't tried any of his more hurried tactics yet. "And does this by any chance have anything to do with an conspicuously and very suddenly well-dressed Weir?"

At the very obvious mention of Lindsay, Daniel sighed irritably and earned a smack from both Kim and I on the stomach. Although Mr. Rosso was spot on, it took a moment for us three to confess that yes, in fact, the girl whose car had been crashed had belonged the Weir's father. We didn't want to get Lindsay into an even further mess than she already was, figuring that having her parents hate her was already punishment enough without adding an overbearing Mr. Rosso into the mix, but we unanimously – and expertly wordlessly – decided that Lindsay could go to hell at this point.

"Yeah," Kim spat venomously as our small group of four stopped walking. "It was Lindsay."

"And Katherine," Mr. Rosso began in an inquisitive manner as he turned to me, watching as I placed myself in between Daniel and Kim leaning on a row of lockers. "this was the reason you were so upset?"

Both of my best friends looked over at me in the middle, raising their brows and urging me to confess. I hung my head at first, almost like a two year old that had spilled over a glass of juice and didn't want to confess that it had been their fault, but eventually conceded and nodded guiltily.

"Alright, so the problem here isn't that you were angry," Mr. Rosso placed his hands together and let them hang neatly in front of his thin figure before they escaped from their hold again as he went off on one of his tangents. "Angry is fine – hell, I get angry all the time and end up eating concerning amounts of pre-prepared guacamole."

Daniel, Kim and I's faces unanimously scrunched up in confusion, not having expected Rosso's strange comment as the hippie-looking man shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. There was no reason for us to know that last bit of information, but the guidance counselor clearly felt that making himself weirder directly translated into more relatable to the students.

"I'm not even sure why I make it in such large quantities," Rosso went on as if he was explaining something perfectly logical, and I found myself already growing tired of this odd conversational angle. If he didn't get to his point soon Daniel would undoubtedly intervene, and I sincerely wanted to avoid that as much as possible considering my friend's short range of patience. "Every time my friends come over they eat less and less of it, and every year I religiously make the same amount. Anyway, my point is that I have a crutch."

"So?" I sighed, waiting for the guidance counselor's final push where he delivered his terms.

"So," Mr. Rosso continued, spreading his arms a bit before clasping his hands together again. "you need to find a better way to deal with your anger. I've already gotten a complaint from a month ago that you tried to attack school property," he motioned to the lockers surrounding us, and I opened my mouth to make an argument before shutting it once I realized I didn't have one. "and I can't keep ignoring the warnings."

There was a pregnant pause, in which I ran a hand over my face to help calm me down, and then the adult in front of us began to speak again.

"Now, I've already sent a note home to your parents," Mr. Rosso warned, and I nearly blanched but managed to keep it together in front of the man. "But if this happens again I'll have to call them in, alright?"

Sending a note home to my parents was actually a good thing, as they threw every single piece of mail out in the trash – especially the envelopes labeled anything to do with my schooling, advertisements and newspapers – besides welfare checks. I could fully pretend that I had received the notice and that my parents had grilled me about it, and Rosso would be none the wiser – this wasn't the problem. The problem was that the guidance counselor was growing used to involving my parents, and if he dug even a little bit deeper he would soon realize that something was off.

I came to school solely because of the fact that once a year I somehow managed to get my mother to sign the administrative papers to get me to attend, and for the rest of the scholastic semesters relied on my own welfare checks – which again, I had to thank Michigan's underage and underprivileged welfare program for – to cover any general fees. It was easy to avoid the optional parent-teacher nights and sent-home letters, as well as cover up the fact that my parents were alcoholics by suggesting that they were workaholics instead.

All in all it wasn't a very difficult lie to uphold, but it was a loose one and it could crumble very easily if Mr. Rosso went poking around. So, I decided that any further comments I made would be unnecessary, and settled on a very well played guilty head-nod.

"She's sorry," Daniel looked down at me and nudged my shoulder with his.. "Aint'cha, Kitty-kat?"

Despite my somewhat acting, I truly was guilty that I had reacted so poorly to Lindsay's comment. In the real world I couldn't afford to do something like that, especially when I needed to find some sort of job when I grew up that would pay my bills. It was true that I needed a better outlet for my anger that wasn't generally destructive to myself or my surroundings, so when I nodded in agreement with Daniel's comment and Kim smiled softly in encouragement, I wasn't faking it.

"Well," Mr. Rosso accepted the fact that Daniel was speaking for me, something I mentally thanked him for as he clearly understood our group dynamics better than a certain someone who had been the whole culprit of this morning's incident, and continued on. "We've got to take care of ourselves, right?"

We all mumbled back unenthusiastic replies, causing Mr. Rosso to shoot us encouraging smiles as he herded us back towards the main corridors of the school. The walk was quiet, the mood now slightly awkward after our guidance counselor's strange attempt at some sort of motivational speech.

"Your name is Theodore?" Daniel spoke up after a moment of serious silence, unable to hide his slight giggle at the name that I hadn't even realized had flown out of the VP's lips.

Soon enough, Kim, Daniel and I were bent over in tears, laughter spilling out of our lips and splitting our sides as Mr. Rosso stared on with a sigh. We couldn't stop even for the life of us, and the disapproving stare from our superior just made us howl even harder.

"Laugh it up," He continued walking towards his office, leaving us cackling behind him and holding onto each other for support. "I'm unique!"

When the laughter had partially subsided and we had wiped the tears from our eyes, we finally made our way to the cafeteria where the bell had just rung for lunch and students were now pouring into the lunchroom. Even though our moods had been slightly uplifted by the conversation with Mr. Rosso, which had been surprisingly painless this time around, they were immediately flattened again upon catching sight of Lindsay in her very prim and prime outfit for the day.

"Keep walking," I murmured, nudging Daniel along as he froze in the lunchline and looked towards the girl who was now making herself comfortable among the other mathletes at her old table. "Daniel? Come on..."

Kim had already grabbed our usual table for the day, where Ken and Nick had joined her. It looked like it was going to be the old gang back together again with no interruptions from the brain, but while we could kid ourselves and lie about how it didn't matter that she wouldn't be hanging around with us anymore the truth was that it really did hurt. When something as serious as Lindsay's outburst had happened it was bound to cause some problems in our tight knit circle of security, so it was no surprise that when Daniel and I took our seats at the table the mood immediately shifted.

"So," Ken started, munching on his fries and looking at me carefully. "What the hell happened?"

"Huh?" I scrunched my face up for a minute before I realized that he was asking about my outburst, and that surprisingly enough Kim hadn't spilled anything on the subject. "Oh – Mr. Rosso took me for a _walk_."

"And you two went willingly?" Ken scoffed as I made a face to imitate how my conversation with the guidance counselor had gone, dipping one of the fried potatoes in ketchup and raising his brows towards Kim and Daniel incredulously.

"Shut up," Kim rolled her eyes, sipping on her coke and ignoring the plate of food that she had fetched in front of her as she motioned towards me. "We obviously went for Kathy."

"Right," Ken drawled, gurgling his Sprite in his mouth and then following Daniel's murderous gaze towards Lindsay's table. "And the brain?"

"_The brain_," Daniel spat in return, ripping his eyes off of the table and finally munching down on his food. "doesn't give a fuck. Clearly."

"I don't think she even knows what happened after she left," Kim shrugged with little energy, blowing bubbles into her glass as the rest of us quieted. It was fair to say that we were all pretty put out by our friends feelings towards us, and any sort of salvaged good emotions had gone overboard at this point. "Whatever."

"I don't think she cares." I murmured, picking at my long nails while I jutted my chin out bitterly.

Daniel gave me a brief look that made me regret saying the comment, as there was no way of really knowing what Lindsay would have thought and it was low to assume that she wouldn't have cared about causing me an angry outburst, but I still stood by the statement.

"You know, who asked her to hang out with us anyways?" Daniel began to question, and I sighed as I realized that the conversation was going to go. Daniel was going to start complaining, Ken was going to encourage, and Kim was going to back everything up until it was just a massive shit talking fest about Lindsay. "Like we need her little judgments all the time."

"My life ain't a lost cause, y'know?" Kim denied the brain's accusations, deftly avoiding all of our eyes as we turned to look at her. "Hers is."

"If you ask me," Ken combed a hand through his hair. "She's just a big baby, and I told you guys that from day one – it's like hanging out with my grandma."

I sighed and picked up my legs, wrapping myself into a ball on the cheap plastic chairs that they gave the school for the lunch room. My armadillo position, as I called it, was the most efficient position for maximum safety – it protected all vital organs – and thinking strategy. It seemed to me like we were all making excuses as to why we _didn't _need Lindsay, and how we hadn't liked her in the first place when in reality we had taken her under our wing for a reason. We all knew that for the apparent short while that she had been our friend for, it had been a hell of a ride – and there was no denying that.

"Yeah, well," Daniel scoffed, again trying to play his feelings off. "little miss perfect doesn't know what I'm gonna do with my life. She doesn't know what my plans are."

This caused almost everyone at the table to raise a brow, as we all knew Daniel to be a runt who spent the majority of his time pissing people off and narrowly avoiding the law. He lived life in his own fast lane, something that most modern employees didn't do and something that wouldn't land him a solid job unless he toned it down. I was curious to hear about these so called 'plans', as the way Daniel was living life right now didn't make him very eligible for the real world whatsoever.

"What the hell are your plans?" Ken voiced everyone's thoughts, and we all turned to Daniel for an explanation.

"I gotta lot of plans." Daniel retorted defensively, looking towards his friend as if these magical 'plans' weren't worth explaining. We all knew that he had nothing planned and that this was all just big talk to ease the loss of a friend, but it would have sounded better coming out of Daniel's mouth.

"Like?" Ken urged, sharing a reproachful look with me before staring back at Daniel, who was backed into a corner.

"Who are you, my guidance counselor?" Our best friend avoided our questioning, and I let out a breathy laugh as I shook my head at the sad situation. Daniel couldn't even admit to not knowing what his future would be, and was instead now relying on throwing the questions back at Ken to save face. "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna wait for my dad to die so I can inherit his company," Ken grinned manically, causing my brow to furrow in worry for a moment until I realized that he was smiling at the fact that he would have money. "Then I'm gonna sell it and move to Hawaii."

"Great plan," Daniel teased, although we all had to give it to Ken – his plan was better than any of mine.

"I don't hear anything better comin' outta you!" The larger boy snorted and threw a fry at the Daniel, who deftly dodged it.

"Well," Kim piped up, finishing the last of her drink before slamming it down onto the tabletop and burping. "I'm gonna be like a lawyer, or something. I'm gonna put the police on trial, and I'm gonna get guys outta jail…"

She trailed off, leaving the rest of the rather open ended plan to empty air. None of this was a surprise to me, as Kim clearly didn't know how difficult it was to get into law school nor the tuition fees. Even with government funding there was little chance of her being able to follow through on this dream, and while I had already known that my friends really were as dismal as they seemed I hadn't expected the conversation to be this despairing to listen to.

"Yeah," Ken teased, not thinking on the same track as I. "maybe you could break Daniel outta there."

"Screw you man," Daniel tossed the fry that had landed on the floor back towards his friend. "I'm not going to jail."

"Okay," Ken challenged him yet again, not having dodged the fry this time around and now forced to clean the mess off of his shirt. "What _will _you be doing, then?"

"Plenty," Daniel's eyes were now narrowed, his tone having grown extremely cold. "Now if you're done grilling me, Mr. Rosso, why don't you give me a dollar so I can go buy some sno-balls."

Daniel's question was not really a question, and while I could see that Ken was practically itching to push our friend a little more until he was over the edge he obeyed but instead pulled a dollar out of his pocket. We all watched Daniel walk towards the lunchline briefly before turning our heads back to the table, not wanting to be caught staring. The saddest part about this conversation was the fact that Daniel couldn't even admit to not having any plans, while the rest of us could see right through his facade.

"You guys I'm tellin' you – it's not about the accident," Nick looked around nervously once our friend was out of earshot, clearly not wanting to mention the brain any more around him. "Lindsay's really depressed that I broke up with her. She's gotta get over it though, y'know?"

At his statement both Kim and I let out a snort, causing Nick to turn to us abruptly. Apparently he didn't understand the flaw in his logic, although now that Ken was laughing he narrowed his eyes and began to ask what was wrong with his comment.

"She wanted to dump you, Nick," Kim revealed, and I winced slightly at the harshness in her tone. "She told me like _days _before you ended it with her."

"I knew that." Nick muttered indignantly.

"Really?" I rose a brow, now frustrated that my friend was adamantly denying something he knew to be true. "You knew that all along, did you? Why didn't you break up with her sooner, then?"

"Y'know, I don't appreciate this guys," Nick sighed and now avoiding the topic entirely, causing Ken to let out an even larger snort that made the boy give up for the time being. "Alright, whatever. Maybe it's not about the breakup."

"Thank you - Jesus," Kim rolled her eyes, fixing the boy with a sarcastic stare. "So what, I guess you're gonna be a psychiatrist?"

"No," Nick muttered, recovering from our attacks rather quickly – perhaps we had the pot to thank for that – and crossing his arms. "I'm gonna be a DJ, man...and maybe a lumberjack."

"Great," She deadpanned in return, leaning forward on the table and then turning her eyes to me. Her gaze was much softer when it landed on mine, causing my tense position to loosen up slightly. "What about you, Kit-kat?"

"I don't know," I answered completely honestly, shrugging as I recognized that I was unafraid of accepting that I didn't have a game plan for my life. "But that's okay. It's okay not to know what you wanna do in life, and we'll all be fine. We're not lost causes."

Even though every single gaze at my table was shooting me down, deep in my heart I knew that I was right. Despite whatever Lindsay or the rest of the school thought of us we had what it took to prove them wrong, and even if it meant scoring a measly low-income job that didn't mean we were lost causes. We deserved to be treated just the same as any other students, and eventually we would find our way in the world. I had no doubts about that.

* * *

"Katherine!"

The very voice I had been hoping not to hear for the rest of my natural born life was now calling my name down the corridor, and immediately I pretended like I hadn't heard it.

I was heading down the hall to meet Daniel and Kim under our usual spot under the stairs, as I had a spare and was eagerly looking forward to having a cigarette, but Lindsay's attempts to talk to me were thwarting my own plans to relax a bit. Just thinking of having a conversation with the girl was difficult, so being shoved into this awkward situation wasn't exactly my idea of a good time.

"Katherine!"

There was no ignoring her calls, and after one more cry of my name I flipped around in a huff.

"What?!" I snapped, surprised to find myself face to face with the brain. She had been closer than I thought.

"I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Lindsay stuttered, taking a step back and making me realize that while she had been the one yelling at me a day ago, I was still the intimidating one in this pileup. "f-for yesterday, and everything."

"Apologize to all of us, then." I frowned bitterly, and turned on my heel to stalk away again. There was no use in her coming to me specifically, and I was eager to relieve myself of her presence as soon as possible.

Before I could make it away however, Lindsay grabbed my arm out of nowhere in a sudden grasp to pull me back. She already knew her mistake before she even let go of me, based on her facial expression, but my reflexes naturally caused me to rip myself out of her grasp and stare at her in disbelief.

"Sorry!" She cried, lowering her voice as soon as she apologized yet again as to not draw attention to herself. "I'm sorry! I just...I heard about what happened after I left and I -"

"First off," I interrupted, pointing a finger in the girl's face as I forced the anger bubbling in my stomach down. "Don't touch me – if I want to leave, I'll leave."

She nodded shakily, a mumbled apology coming out of her lips one more time before I silenced her.

"And second off," I continued, keeping my voice down despite the annoyance brewing in my stomach. "Yesterday was a really, _really _bad day. I don't think you understand what you did, and I think you need to apologize to everyone."

Lindsay was silent, refusing to meet my eyes as she nodded mutely. It was then that I realized that nobody had spoken to her about the car incident yet, and no one had told her how we truly felt about the accident. Long story short – yes, it was slightly our fault that the car had gotten ruined. If we hadn't asked her to borrow it in the first place Lindsay would have never been at risk, so to a certain extent the situation was bred thanks to us freaks.

"We don't hate you, Lindsay," I added, feeling like I needed to give the girl some motivation to come back to our group even though she had been the one to indicate how much she hated us. "and we're sorry about making you borrow your dad's car. But you hurt us pretty bad, so I think you owe us an apology too."

With that, I left the girl in the busy hallway alone and stalked off to the staircase, finding the spot void of any Kim. Daniel sat alone on the radiator, looking rather glum as he swung his feet and seemingly tried to get his leather jacket to swallow him. The article of clothing refused, of course, clinging to his arms and remaining as intimidating as ever as I approached him and tried to understand where our blonde friend was.

"What's wrong?" I asked, as soon as I spotted the off expression on Daniel's face.

"Kim went to class," He uttered as he bit his thumbnail, and I found myself raising a brow at the comment.

"Really? Kim always cuts this period..." I trailed off, feeling somewhat saddened and proud of my friend at the same time. It was good that she was finally growing the initiative to learn, but it was strange that she had picked such a random time in the school year to choose to go to class.

"I think it's 'cause of Lindsay." Daniel shrugged, and my mouth formed a small 'o' as I realized that the brain's revelation had caused a rift in more than just our feelings.

Apparently Lindsay's comments had changed Kim's attitude and sparked some sort of motivation in her to actually learn, and although I had to agree that Kim should have been motivated long ago to actually try at school, it was better this than nothing.

"Guess it's just you an' me then, Kitty-kat," Daniel wrapped an arm around my shoulders and began to walk me down the hallway, plucking the pack of cigarettes that I had pulled out of my bag only to take one out and put it in his mouth. "Ain't that right?"

"You and me!" I chirped as I confirmed his statement, placing one hand – that was in desperate need of nail care – in between his shoulder blades as we walked down the hall.

Our meandering pace didn't change as we exited through the large double doors of the school, wandering outside onto the large lawn and briefly stopping to light our cigarettes. The benefit of have a large green in the middle of our school campus was that no teachers would be bothered to patrol the area – especially during classes when there were only a few students about spending their spares out in the sun – which meant that we were free to smoke wherever we wanted and hide the butts in the grass.

"You're not cold, are ya?" Daniel gave me a once-over and briefly felt the thickness of my plaid shirt as he held his cigarette in between his lips, reaching to take his own jacket off with his other hand.

"I'll be fine," I smiled at the sweet gesture, fishing out my own cancer stick that I had stumped out carefully and saved out of my shirt pocket.

Both Daniel and I were too poor to afford wasting any tobacco, so whenever we didn't finish a cigarette we made sure to save it and finish it later. With an addiction like this and the lack of money we had it was the sensible thing to do next to kicking the habit, so neither of us spoke on my action as we continued on our way across the lawn. We had made it at least halfway across the green when I realized that Daniel wasn't by my side anymore, and I was forced to whirl around to search for where he had veered off to.

As I retracted my steps I found that Daniel had stopped in front of Harris, the coolest geek we knew in the school, who was reading a 'Monster Manual' textbook that looked rather thick. At first, neither Daniel nor Harris said anything, but after a brief moment the sophomore noticed my best friend looking down at him and squinted in confusion.

"You're not gonna beat me up, are you?" He seemed quite calm for someone asking such a question, but then again Harris was known for being strange.

"No," Daniel scoffed with a slight smile, fully acknowledging once again that he had a reputation as being somewhat of a 'badass'.

Even though Kim liked to tease him for the few losses he had experienced, Daniel had a lot of victories behind his back – some of which were infamous at McKinley for being quite silly. One of these stories involved Daniel beating the living crap out of a fellow freak just to take his leather jacket, although his close friends knew that on those days there were reasons behind his rage.

Daniel didn't go around beating anyone up for no reason, and his version of the story was that 'the guy had it coming' as well as the fact that on the same day, his brother had emerged from his room only to go into a psychotic fit because of his opiate addition. This, added onto the fact that the freak in our circles had been making snarky comments at Daniel for weeks after my best friend had accidentally flicked a cigarette his way, had pushed Daniel over the edge.

"Whaddya readin'?" Daniel pointed at the book and taking a slow drag of his cigarette.

"It's the – uh, 'The Monster Manual'," Harris explained, looking up at Daniel in surprise that he had asked the question. "It's a 'Dungeons and Dragons' handbook. Do you play?"

I half expected Daniel to scoff and kick the boy's book away at the mention of all this magical nonsense, but my best friend surprised me with a simple 'no' instead.

"You should," Harris suggested, shrugging passively. "You would make a good dungeon master – I can tell."

"Yeah? Thanks," I could tell Daniel had no idea what that meant, but he genuinely took it as a compliment and then to my utter shock, sunk to the ground in front of the geek. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Harris nodded and politely dog-eared his book, watching me take a seat next to the darker haired boy in our trio. I couldn't tell if he was at all apprehensive about this conversation considering the fact that we were freaks – if he was nervous at all he hid it well.

"What do you make of me?" Daniel held out the hand carefully holding the cancer stick, as if to invite Harris to take a free pass at his confidence.

"Excuse me?" The boy readjusted his glasses and questioned, disbelieving that someone like Daniel was asking this question.

"Well," My friend sighed, elaborating on his request and making me frown. Where was he taking this conversation? "If someone asked you, 'what do you think of Daniel Desario?', what would you say?"

Harris was quiet for a while, most likely contemplating his answer so that Daniel wouldn't hurt him for it, but naturally my friend took that as a bad sign and let his insecurities show.

"Would you say he's a loser?"

"What?" I turned to look at my friend, concerned that he was having these sorts of thoughts about himself. How could he think that, with all of the positive inputs I tried to reinforce in my friends? "Daniel, you're not a -"

"Hold on a sec, Kitty-kat," My friend held up a finger, pointing to Harris as if he was a very important person and blowing smoke out of his nostrils. "I wanna hear what he thinks."

"I don't think you're a loser," Harris responded honestly, shrugging his shoulders yet again as he watched me take a drag of my own cigarette curiously. "And I don't think anyone else does, either."

For a scary teenager – or adult, now that Daniel was turning nineteen soon – who intimidated people on the daily, it was surprising how many things got into Daniel's head. The boy was filled to the brim with self-doubt, and while I liked to kid myself that I was a poster child for self confidence I had my own problems. My eating disorder was one of them, and so I found myself asking Harris the same question as Daniel before I could control myself. Did people think I was a loser for not eating? Did people even notice? Did people think I was a loser for not having a life plan?

"Well – what about me?" I was suddenly curious, inspired by Harris' answer and still shocked that Daniel had asked such a thing. "Do people think I'm a loser?"

"No," Harris reassured us, smiling slightly. "No, you guys aren't losers...'cause you have sex."

I leaned back abruptly; concerned that Harris knew that fact off of the back of his mind. How would he have known whether or not I had sex? Daniel was obvious; everyone knew about he and Kim...but me? How had Harris even assumed that I gallivanted around having random sex with people?

"Hold on a sec," I interjected, narrowing my eyes towards the boy as I motioned towards myself. "How do you know I have sex?"

"Well...you guys are together," He gave me and Daniel a weird look, staring between us two as if this fact was obvious. "So obviously..."

"We're not – uh...h-how did you even -" I began to sputter and tried to correct the boy, but found that I could barely formulate words out of sheer shock. "D-Daniel and I aren't -"

"We're not together," Daniel saved me with an award-winning grin, winking towards me – a gesture that made me stop for a split second and wonder what was going on – before turning back to Harris. "I'm with Kim."

Over the past several months Daniel had stopped several boys from flirting with me and had made comments that I was 'off-limits' to other people, leading me to believe that something strange was going on. Now that someone else had assumed we were in a relationship, I needed to understand what was happening.

"Ah – pardon me, then," Harris corrected himself before ignoring our exchange and turning back to Daniel, who was busy studying the stick of nicotine and tar burning in between his fingers. "you're not a loser if you have sex."

"Great," I snorted a bit, pulling at some grass near my crossed legs, shaking my head as I deciphered that I was going to have to have a very weird talk with Daniel soon about his strange behavior. "Still not a loser, then."

"Waittaminute - what does that mean?" Daniel scrunched his face up and turned to me suddenly, shock clear on his face as I stamped my cigarette butt out on the grass. "Kathy, you're sleepin' around?"

"Wh- I mean, h-how...yes?" I stuttered a bit, holding my arms out as if this was an obvious fact and a bit concerned that this was a big deal to my best friend. "Why is that a surprise?!"

Usually my sex life stayed rather quiet, as I didn't brag about my various sexual escapades at bars and parties. My friends had always been in the dark about it, but I hadn't assumed that they believed I was a virgin; the way Daniel was reacting made it seem like he was disgusted by the fact that I had come near another man's penis.

"I dunno," Daniel shrugged defensively, now eyeing the grass with a funny face as he took a slow inhale of his cancer stick. "I guess I just thought you weren't doin' anythin' with anyone, y'know. You never talk about it -"

"So what?!" I scoffed in disbelief, wondering how the hell my best friend could have assumed that I was really going to hold myself off until I met the 'right man' or something. "Did you think I was a virgin or something?"

"Woah, woah," Daniel held a hand out and effectively made me realize that I was overreacting, again eyeing me strangely before I sighed and slumped my shoulders. "I didn't mean it that way, Kitty-kat – calm down for a sec, would'ja?"

"Alright, sorry," I shook my head and shrugged the incident off, again forced to accept that Daniel was a blunt and abrupt person and that his words could be misinterpreted. "Harris, go on."

The boy sitting in front of us looking ready to jump up and run out of here at this point, but I had to give him an A plus for sticking out our small argument as he was still rooted to his spot. It took him a moment or two to gather his wits enough to speak, but he managed to continue after a little while.

"Well," He fingered his 'Monster Manual' textbook nervously as his eyes flitted between Daniel and I. "if you don't have sex, then we could definitely debate the loser issue further."

I saw a smile creeping up on the corners of Daniel's face, a sign of genuine happiness that I hadn't seen in awhile and that made me overjoyed to see. In the moment I forgot about our little spat and smiled too, glad that someone had made him smile that way. When he was happy, that made me happy – so I smiled too.

"See?" I shoved his shoulder, grinning as he shoved me back; all seemed to be forgiven in the moment. "I told you you're not a loser!"

"Sure," Daniel nodded loosely, also ripping up the grass sitting as his feet before averting his attention back towards Harris. "You get good grades, huh?"

"Yeah," The boy replied simply, comically pushing his glasses further up the rim of his nose with one finger. "Don't you?"

"Nah," Daniel shook his head and cringed, staring at his cigarette miserably as he finished the white stick slowly. "I get terrible grades. I don't even like to think about school because I think about how bad I'm really doing. I was even left back once."

"You've been trying," I reminded my best friend, interjecting into the conversation once more. "It's been way better this year."

"Kathy gets good grades," Daniel ignored my comment and diverted the attention to me as he smiled softly. "Don'tcha?"

"Not by much," I shrugged modestly, remembering having calculated both Daniel and I's averages to be around the sixtieth percentile. "We're both doing better this year."

"Well, 'today is the first day of the rest of your life'," Harris brought the attention back onto himself with the relevant quote, then scoffed slightly in thought. "Someone sent my dad a card with that on it for his sixty-fifth birthday – can you believe that?"

"Your dad's sixty five?" Daniel muttered, and I rose both my brows towards the geek as if to ask the same silent question.

"He's seventy now," Harris explained, and I found myself growing even more surprised at his family's strange age distance. "When I'm forty five he'll be a hundred."

We all shared chuckles at this, the mood elevating itself by each second that passed by.

"You know," Daniel's eyebrows raised as his facial expression gained seriousness, and I could tell he was about to be very truthful. "You're a pretty interesting guy, Harris. Yeah, I mean you do your own thing…you're comfortable with yourself. You got it pretty wired, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess I do," Harris thought for a moment, placing his hand under his chin. "I don't have sex, though."

Again, there was another round of chuckles, and we shared a few more thoughtful words before the bell rang and it was time for lunch. Harris excused himself to go attend the Audio-Visual club meeting, and Daniel and I both decided to wander aimlessly as we tried to find our friends. He thankfully decided to avoid the cafeteria today, and I understood that perhaps his mood was still too sour with the whole Lindsay situation to take a chance on seeing her. It was at this moment that I decided to talk to Daniel about the whole conversation with Harris, knowing that at one point or another I needed to address what had been going on with his strange comments.

"Hey, so..." I trailed off slightly, not used to introducing a new topic as we walked slowly across the rest of the field. "What was all that back there?"

"Whaddya mean?" Daniel asked nonchalantly, but I merely scoffed and made a face at his poor acting skills.

"You know what I'm talking about," I confronted the boy as we approached the entrance way that would lead to the patio. Students had begun to emerge out of the doors at this point, going to sit outside for lunch or on their way to the cafeteria. "A couple months ago you told Sean that I was 'off-limits', and then you wouldn't let Howie flirt with me."

"What," Daniel tried to defend himself, grinning weakly and refusing to meet my eyes. I frowned at this, wondering what the heck was going on with my friend and why his behavior was so off. "You wanted to flirt with those creeps?"

"That's not the point, Daniel," I crossed my arms and frowned as we stopped near his locker, indicating that I was serious and causing Daniel to sigh. "Can you tell me what's going on, please?"

"Look, I'm sorry," My friend held his arms out uselessly, seemingly at a loss for words for a moment until he regained his ability to speak. "I just kinda feel like you're ours, y'know?"

"I'm sorry, _whose_?!" I gaped incredulously, wondering how the hell my friend had become so entitled.

"I don't mean it like that," Daniel snapped, pointing at me threateningly. "Stop doing that, Kat – stop misunderstanding me."

"Oh, I'm sorry Daniel," I grimaced in disgust as we stared towards each other darkly, wondering how the hell my friend was this thick in the head. "Please, explain how the fuck you thought you had any ownership over me!"

"It's protective," My best friend tried to argue, lifting a hand before it dropped to his side weakly.

"I'm not _yours_," I hissed venomously, causing my friend to back off slightly as he took a deep breath to calm himself. "I can do what I want with my body."

"Well, Harris thought you were mine," Daniel defended himself, eyes on fire as he tried to make a point I clearly wasn't getting. We weren't on the same page, and that was causing this argument to worsen. "And Kim hates it when you flirt with guys, God – she practically tells 'em that she'll kill them if they ever lay a hand on you!"

I held my head in disbelief as I tried to understand what was happening. Kim had always known about my fooling around whether or not I told her, as she had the benefit of knowing word of the mouth that was going around in our circles and could gain information in a heartbeat. I hadn't known that she had such a strong opinion of my romantic life, but none of this made any sense to me. My body was my body, and I could choose to do what I wanted to do with it. I didn't understand why my friends were forcing themselves to protect me like some sort of princess.

"Daniel – what kind of point are you trying to make?!" Our argument was thankfully being drowned out by the voices of hundreds of students around us, making this one of the only moments I was actually glad to be immersed within a crowd of people. "You're not my father, and Kim is not my mother – you guys don't own me."

"We know that," Daniel had now switched his tactic and was using his large puppy dog eyes, a maneuver that he knew would work on me and instantly brought me back down to earth. "We just...we love you, alright, Katherine? Is that _okay_? Jesus."

I was at a loss for words for a moment, effectively calmed down by Daniel's big brown eyes coating me in their warm gaze while I tried to find the right way to respond to his reasoning. I knew that my friends loved me – that wasn't the problem. The problem was trying to accept their wacky way of showing it by basically fencing me off from as many boys – or women, but I didn't think either of them knew that I was attracted to females and I hadn't made any advances on any as I was too shy to admit my bisexuality – as possible. The way Daniel was spitting out his words made it seem like he was reluctant to admit them, but I was glad that these words were coming out instead of staying in and confusing me any further.

"And since you're foolin' around anyway it doesn't matter," Daniel abruptly slumped against his own locker, placing his hands in his pockets. "We just wanna keep you safe."

"Daniel, I..." I sighed as I over-thought my phrasing, taking a deep breath in through my nose and exhaling out through my mouth before speaking. It was important that even though Daniel and Kim felt _this _possessive over me, they needed to understand that it was a free country and I wasn't owned by anyone. "I didn't even know you guys felt like this, but I –"

"Hey!"

We were suddenly interrupted by the arrival of Ken and Kim, who had just come from shop class and were looking rather worn out. Immediately I knew that our conversation had to stop, but when I spotted my blonde friend I acknowledged that at a certain point I would have to speak with her as well. This issue was complicated and weird, but there was a solution to it and I refused to make anything awkward. These were my childhood best friends – nothing could get in between us. There was drama, sure, but at the end of the day we were still a tight-knit circle that would not be pulled apart.

"What's going on?" Daniel nodded at the two as if he and I hadn't been having a deep conversation just seconds ago, and I found myself playing the same game as I smiled dumbly.

"Valerie almost screwed her hair onto a piece of wood," Ken snorted with laughter as he leaned against the set of lockers and told us another one of his crazy shop class stories. "She's not gonna pass that class for the life of her."

"She flipped out and started swearing," Kim giggled, covering her mouth as her laughs got stronger. "it was hilarious!"

"Sounds hilarious," Daniel agreed, although I could tell that he was forcing himself to act naturally. Thankfully Ken and Kim were none the wiser as they were now laughing about how their birdhouses made in class had been awful, and how they had managed to score sympathy from the teacher by convincing Mr. Flanders that they had 'tried their hardest'.

In this time I managed to sneak a glance at Daniel and found that he was already looking right at me, now mouthing the words 'be cool' in his very typical manner. Merely rolling my eyes in return, I figured that we would get a chance to speak later and that for the time being, I would hold off on any flirting as to not push this issue any further. The last thing I wanted to do was aggravate my friends when the problem wasn't even clear yet. I still needed to talk to Kim, not to mention the fact that this whole Lindsay problem was still on the rise.

"Oh!" I suddenly remembered my interaction with the brain, and interrupted Ken's incoming comment as I figured that now was a supreme time to tell my friends what had happened. "Lindsay talked to me today."

"Really?" Kim seemed uncertain, and a little afraid to inquire any more information while Ken merely huffed at the mention of the girl. "Well, what'd she say?"

"That she was sorry," I continued apprehensively, unsure of whether or not my friends would be happy that I had spoken with the girl or upset that I hadn't ignored her. "She heard about what happened after she left...and I said we were sorry too."

There was a moment of silence as four of us stared at each other, but Kim broke the silence by sighing.

"I feel guilty," She moaned reluctantly, and I smiled as I realized that for Kim, it was very difficult admitting these types of feelings. She didn't like being at fault, but it was good training for the future as she needed to learn how to properly apologize. "Dammit."

"We should get her a new bumper," Daniel suddenly piped up, and the three of us stared at the dark haired boy in surprise. His idea was good, and had clearly been thought through. "I saw some pretty good used ones down at Aldo's."

"I've got five bucks," Ken dug into his pockets and held out the crumpled bills towards Daniel, who fixed him with an unamused gaze. "Does that help?"

"I just got my welfare check," I raised my brows, wondering if we were really going to go through with this plan. "If you guys contribute, I can pay for most of it."

Considering I had no bills to pay and I wasn't going to move out anytime soon, I decided that this was a good way to spend my money. We owed Lindsay anyhow, and figured that even if she never wanted to be our friend again, this would be a good final parting gift. So, we pooled our cash and handed it to Daniel for 'safe keeping' – even though we all knew that meant his glove compartment that had gotten stolen more times than we could keep track of – before speeding off to Aldo's Salvage and Tow.

When we arrived, most of the bumpers either didn't match the color or weren't what I would necessarily call 'good shape', but eventually we settled on a cream colored piece that looked like it wasn't going to fall apart anytime soon and decided that Mr. Weir could paint the damned thing if he cared that much about matching colors. It was at this point that we found ourselves back in Daniel's car and speeding back towards the school, Kim having mentioned something about delivering the bumper to Lindsay during her mathlete competition today.

"You actually want to go to the mathlete competition?" Ken asked the blonde dubiously as I lit up a cigarette. "I'm sitting outside, sorry."

"Ken, you're coming inside and you're gonna like it," Daniel snapped from the driver's seat, sunglasses on and wind ruffling his hair. It seemed that Kim's will to learn had affected him as well, although I couldn't tell if forcing Ken into a mathlete competition was going to help at all. "And you better not burn my seats, Welsh."

"I did that _once_!" I bit back, biting my lip to hide my smile at the fact that no matter what sort of weird conversations we had on the side our friendly banter would never die. We had our connections that were nigh impossible to separate, and for this I was grateful.

"Twice," Kim corrected with a smirk, pointing to the second cigarette shaped burn next to my thigh on the grey leather seat. "Remember, when you were really stoned and you forgot we were in the car?"

"Whatever," I grumbled, blowing smoke out of my nostrils. "Fine – twice, you losers."

"Twice," Daniel nodded in satisfaction. "And Ken, moan all you want – I don't care. Lindsay's our friend, and we're sorry."

"Alright, I'll go," Ken waved a hand, accepting that between the rest of us in the vehicle we could most likely put up a good fight and push him into the cafeteria. "But I'm not gonna have any fun."

"Fun?" I pulled a face, careful to ash my cigarette outside of the frame of the Trans Am. "It's math – this isn't for fun, you big tree. This is for Lindsay!"

"Did you just call me a tree?" Ken grinned incredulously, and I found myself giggling right back as the whole car erupted into sarcastic arguments paired with strange insults that had us cackling the whole way to McKinley.

The boys did a fantastic job of lugging the bumper all the way to the cafeteria upon our arrival at the school, and even though both Kim and I were certain that we had seen Nick slip out of the double doors as soon as we arrived into the lunch room we said nothing to the boy and continued on our way inside. The cafeteria was set up in a sort of auditorium-like fashion, with many plastic chairs facing the food isles where two long tables had been placed.

No one else besides parents had filled in the few seats, so my friends I grabbed seats in the back row and watched as both Lincoln and McKinley's mathletes sat down to begin the competition. At first there was small chatter as the announcer in the front consulted with both teams about the rules, and I could spot Lindsay's parents sitting up front practically beaming towards their daughter – squished into a mustard colored blouse with an equally awful looking sweater vest – who was sitting next to Shelly Davis at McKinley's table.

It didn't look like our friend had spotted us yet, so we merely sat quietly as the first round got going and the announcer began to fire out intense algebraic questions that boggled our minds. At first we sat in a stunned silence as the little curly haired girl from our school tried her best to answer some of the questions, both her and her counterpart from Lincoln furiously scribbling down on their scrap sheets of paper that they had been given to try and find the answers to the questions being thrown at them. By the end of the first round, McKinley had scored three points and Lincoln two.

When Lindsay got up to take her seat at one of the two desks in front of the announcer, Kim let out a loud yelp of support and excitedly motioned for us to help her lift up the bumper.

As soon as Lindsay's shocked gaze fell upon us we hoisted the white bumper into the hair, motioning to it excitedly as to make sure that the girl knew it was for her father's car. I could see her parents and several other adults looking towards us strangely, but we didn't lower the car part until we were certain that Lindsay knew why we were here and at that point lowered the bumper to the ground with a metallic clank. Lindsay sat down in her seat with a sort of dazed expression, as if she couldn't believe that we were actually here and not just a figment of her imagination, before turning her attention to the announcer.

"Question one," The man began to ask the contestants, distracting any other eyes in the room from Kim, Daniel, Ken and I's presence. "If the longer diameter of a rhombus is 10 and the large angle is 100 degrees, what is the area of the rhombus?"

After a little moment of silence and only the sound of pens flying across paper, Lindsay raised her hand. The announcer gave her the floor, and I heard the number 42 confidently fly out of her mouth.

"Correct!"

The room politely clapped at this, Kim and I clapping harder than anyone else, and then stopped to allow the scrimmage to continue. I couldn't believe that Lindsay was so fast at math – Kowcheski's class was hard enough as it was, and here these teams were treating these problems like trivia questions. Each question that the announcer asked Lindsay got harder and harder, but she seemed to fire out answers quicker and quicker as time went on.

"If arc sign x equals 2 arc co-sign x, than x equals?" The announcer asked after four more questions had gone by, shifting slightly in his neatly groomed brown suit.

Even though I could only see the back of his head, I was already assuming that he was dumbfounded by Lindsay's ability to perform equations in her head so quickly. Our group of freaks was feeling this emotion as well, and I heard Kim let out a huff from beside me before she spoke.

"Damn," My blonde friend crossed her arms. "I've never felt so stupid in my whole life."

"Math is hard for a lot of people," I murmured back, shrugging slightly as I figured that it was best not to be too put out with these sorts of competitions. It was important to remember that these sorts of people were above the average line, and that millions of people struggled with math way more than Kim and I ever would. We couldn't compare ourselves to these sorts of students; doing so would just lower our confidence even further, and we couldn't have that. "I wouldn't worry about it."

"Zero point nine." Lindsay's answer brought our attention back to her, and the room erupted into claps.

"Correct!" The announcer was clearly baffled, but nodded nonetheless and congratulated the brain. "Perfect round to McKinley!"

Lindsay grinned and avoided our eyes as we cheered for her, heading back to McKinley's table and letting Shelly take her space. As the competition went on her classmates did a bit worse than her, but our team was still able to beat Lincoln by a storm and at the end of the scrimmage, the few parents that had attended the event were either storming out of the cafeteria to no doubt chastise their children for not studying harder or heading up front to congratulate them.

Lindsay's parents fell into the latter category, although we didn't get a chance to give our old friend her bumper before she was whisked away by her teammates who could be heard buzzing about some sort of slumber party.

So, we dejectedly lugged the bumper all the way back to Daniel's car and loaded it in, thinking that Lindsay was still upset at us and had purposely avoided speaking to us after her competition in efforts to let us know that. I sincerely hoped that this wasn't the truth, as it would mean that we had truly lost her a friend and that she really didn't want anything to do with us anymore. It would have meant that my conversation with her wouldn't have meant squat to the girl, and that she would most likely be spending the rest of her days at McKinley amongst the mathletes.

It was a sad reality to come to terms with, but I had to accept it as a possibility.

"Hey guys."

We turned at the sound of Nick's voice, and smiled as we accepted the boy into our ranks. He had been a little distant as of late, most likely still upset about our comments regarding Lindsay as he tried to get over her, but now he seemed a little happier and Daniel even managed to give him a fist bump as he leaned on the hood of the Trans Am.

"Did we see you leaving the mathlete scrimmage?" Kim immediately questioned, smiling slyly up towards our tallest friend.

"Yeah," Nick answered surprisingly honestly. "I had to kill some time."

"Right," Kim scoffed teasingly, lighting up a cigarette and continuing to speak before Nick could get back at her for the sarcastic jab. "Hey, I'm hungry – can we go get some food?"

"Sounds like a plan," Daniel nodded, and jutted his chin out towards Nick. "You wanna come, hot shot?"

"Sure," Nick agreed, and we all smiled at the prospect of having us five back at it again like the old days. "I've got my car – I'll meet you guys at Al's?"

We all nodded at the prospect of our favorite pizza joint, and around ten minutes later we had reconvened in the Big Al's Pizza parking lot munching on newly purchased pizza and sodas. I had even gotten my own small slice – Kim had convinced me to purchase it and despite my brain screaming that the food was horrifically terrible for me I managed to shut the voice up long enough to take a bite of it.

"See?" Daniel nudged me slightly as I chewed the cheesy food quietly. "Not half bad, is it?"

"Oh, shut up," I grabbed Kim's soda out of her hands – one of the drinks that I had always been comfortable indulging in – and after taking a gulp passed it back to her. "You guys'll never stop nagging me, will you?"

"Never," Kim sang as she finished her own slice of pepperoni, still very proud that I had conquered my eating issues for the night. In reality had been eating more overall, as both Kim and Daniel's efforts had paid off in making sure that I got food in my body at lunch and in the mornings if I stayed at either one of their houses.

I still wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with the weight gain – I had gone up ten pounds and gotten some of my hips and breasts back – but I had always been a naturally thin girl and knew that as I got older health needed to take precedence over my disorder.

"It's workin'," Daniel pointed out, squeezing my side and making me squeak as I nearly dropped my food. "You ain't skin a bones anymore!"

"Except her hands," Ken pointed out, burping as he gulped down more fries. "Look at em – her fingers look like little spider legs."

"Fuck off!" I whined, swatting my friend's hands away as I tried to finish my food. I couldn't hide the smile that came to my face at their good-humored teasing, and laughed briefly before chomping down on my pizza once more.

"Alright, alright," Ken laughed, lifting his hands as if to suggest he was innocent. "Whatever you say, Ms. Bird-arms."

This earned the boy a squirt of pop from Kim's straw, and in return Ken hurled a fry or two in Kim's direction. Our playful banter continued on like this for the next several minutes as we finished our food, but as we sat on the hoods of our respective cars – Nick's V8 had definitely seen better days, but could still support Ken's full weight – we lapsed into silence and were each thinking our own thoughts on the incidents earlier today. I could tell that my friend's confidence had been taken down a couple notches, and as sad as this fact was I didn't know what to do to to alleviate the mood.

"I hope she's still not mad at us," Daniel sighed as he leaned back to lie on the hood of the Trans Am. "I feel stupid."

"I don't think she's mad," I shook my head from my spot beside him, accepting Kim's head leaning on my shoulder. In the stead of the events of today I had conveniently forgotten about Daniel and I's odd conversation, but from what it seemed right now that wasn't interfering with our relationship and it certainly wasn't taking priority over the Lindsay issue. "When she talked to me she seemed really sorry."

There was a pregnant pause where I could tell that Daniel doubted me, but after a moment he sighed and nodded as a signal that he accepted this fact as a possibility.

"Hey, do you guys maybe wanna go see a midnight movie?" Kim suggested after a moment, slurping on the rest of her pop. "I think there's a foreign film playing at the state theatre."

"Foreign film?" Nick frowned in confusion. "Is that like the kind you have to read?"

"That's vintage," I corrected him, sticking a finger out in his direction. "You're thinkin' the old black and white movies, Andopolis."

"What's the point?" Ken countered Kim, shrugging uncaringly as he collected all of our garbage and dumped it into the nearby trash receptacle.

"The point is trying _not_ to be a dumbass for once in your life," Kim deadpanned as if the point was obvious. "that's what."

"I'll go."

This statement was spoken by both Daniel and I at the same time, and we looked at each other in surprise at the fact that both of us were in support of Kim's movie idea before the blonde herself broke in.

"Thank you, guys!" She planted a kiss on Daniel's cheek and an arm around my shoulders, causing me to smile warmly. I knew that it was nice for her to feel supported, and being the one supporting her made this feeling all the better. Perhaps this movie wouldn't increase our IQ at all, sure, but it was something new and we were trying to expose ourselves to a higher intelligence.

"Okay," Ken agreed reluctantly. "But it better not be about a guy who talks a lot."

Our laughter at our friend's sarcastic statement didn't last for long, as we were interrupted by a very familiar figure who was slowly approaching our car and shakily greeting us.

At first, I blinked a couple times in confusion and wondered whether or not I had been slipped something in my drink, because standing right in front of us was Lindsay Weir herself – back in her army jacket and looking very comfortable. Daniel sat up in his spot in surprise, facing the girl with a tender expression that mirrored the apprehension he was feeling inside upon seeing her. In reality, I really didn't know if she was here to apologize or insult us and take her car hood, but I was just happy to see her back in her army jacket.

"Hey!" Kim grinned at the girl as five sets of eyes landed on Lindsay. "What's up?"

"Nothin'," Our old friend shrugged, a nervous smile appearing on her lips. "What're you guys up to?"

"Nothin'." Ken mirrored Lindsay's response.

"Actually," I piped up, a grin taking over my own face as I grew happier with the prospect of having Lindsay back in our ranks. If she was here to hang out with us it meant that things had a shot of being back to normal once more, and this also meant that Lindsay had taken my words seriously. "We were just about to go see a foreign film. Y'know – just because."

"Cool," Lindsay nodded, and I deduced from her somewhat knowing tone that she had most likely eavesdropped on the entire conversation up to this point and knew that we were trying to compensate our bad grades by going to this strange film. "Can I come with you guys?"

We all nodded, and I my grin widened as the small ball of happiness in my stomach grew larger and larger.

"Yeah – sure," Ken's voice dripped with sarcasm, and I prepared myself for some sort of tease. "Can we borrow your dad's car?"

"Shut up, Ken." Daniel grunted, eyes focused on Lindsay as if he afraid that even removing his gaze from the girl would ruin the moment and she would disappear back into the dark.

So many people had given up on Daniel and abandoned him, told him he was a failure and yelled at him about how he would never get anywhere only to leave him to wallow in his feelings that the boy had grown used to the fact that perhaps nobody truly wanted him. It was nice to see that someone was finally coming back and that he was appreciating the moment for all it was – he truly deserved this sort of thing and was happy to see someone value not only his friendship but all of ours as well. Lindsay's return meant that she accepted us for who we were and forgave us, making this moment rather cherishable.

"C'mon Lindsay," Daniel eventually hopped off the hood of his car and . "You can ride with Kim, Kitty-kat and me."

I briefly made the connection that Daniel's reasoning for allowing Lindsay into the Trans Am was simply because of the fact that he wanted to avoid grouping her and Nick together as a favor, and when Nick stopped Lindsay before she got into Daniel's vehicle it became clear that there was still some sort of weirdness between the pair I ignored what they were saying in favor of throwing Kim and I's pops into the trash before sliding into the backseat of the Trans Am, finally feeling like the missing part in our puzzle piece had been found again.

When Lindsay finally piled into the car beside me and shot me a shy smile, I grinned right back and watched any nerves on her face melt right off. She was back in the environment that she was clearly most comfortable in, and having her back felt like the missing ingredient to a cake mix had been found, or a long lost sock had been salvaged from behind the washing machine to match the other lonely article of clothing. It felt safe, warm and friendly to have her presence here. Lindsay was a perfect weight on our scale of now-balanced friendship.

* * *

"Whaddya think you wanna do with your life?"

After going to the movies, we had bid goodbye to both Ken and Nick as well as dropped both Kim and Lindsay off at their homes before heading back to Daniel's. We were now in his bedroom, having put on Led Zeppelin records and letting them play quietly in the background while we chain smoked. I had chosen not to revive the topic of he and Kim's protective feelings over me, deciding that I needed to speak to the girl in private before having any more awkward conversations.

"I dunno," I repeated my answer from our previous lunchroom conversation. "But I'm not really concerned."

"Yeah?" Daniel squinted in suspicion. "Why's that? Inspired by Harris the almighty geek?"

"Somewhat," I huffed out a breath of laughter, taking a long drag of my cigarette and watching Daniel do the same. "I guess."

There was a moment of silence as we both exhaled our smoke out the window, having leaned against the sill to indulge in our nicotine in peace. Katey didn't particularly care that we smoked inside, but we tried to be courteous in the ways that we could. I took the time to lay my still burning cigarette on the white wood of Daniel's window pane before traveling to the turntable and decreasing the volume of Zeppelin's _D'yer Maker. _When I was satisfied with the noise level, I went back to my cigarette and listened to Daniel heave a sigh.

"I wanted to ask," He started, causing me to turn towards him curiously. "How's your head?"

"My head?" I scrunched my nose up curiously at his question.

"Yeah – your head, y'know," My friend repeated, pointing at his skull. "How are you doing up there?"

_Oh. _

"I'm better," I admitted with a bit of a frown, stumping out my third cigarette of the evening after a last drag. "You guys help a lot...I hope you know that."

"We know," Daniel nodded smugly, fixing me with a smirk as I rolled my eyes and shoved him slightly. "'Ey! Watch it."

"Sometimes I wonder why you even care, though." I pursed my lips in thought as a sudden bout of seriousness overtook me, and I frowned as I realized how much of a burden I truly was to my friends. I vomited all the time, caused unlimited concerns because of my home life, and had forced them to basically monitor all of my meals as if they were supplementary parents.

"Because we love ya, Kit-kat," His big puppy dog eyes bore into mine, the sweetness taking me off focus for a moment as Daniel seemed to have absolutely no qualms admitting these points. "You know that."

"I know," I ran a hand over my face and walked over to Daniel's bed only to prop myself up on the headboard, acknowledging that yes, in fact, I was already certain of everything he was saying. "I know – I know that."

"You're not a burden," Daniel reminded softly as he followed me to his mattress, handing me his cigarette so that we could split it. Sometimes I truly believed that he could read my thoughts, as he consistently comforted me about my unspoken anxieties.

"I know," I sighed, trying to ingrain his phrase into my head. If I was ever to gain my own confidence I needed to accept that my issues were worth other people's time, and thinking the way I had been up to this point would not suffice. "I guess the whole Lindsay thing just shook me."

"It shook everyone," Daniel shrugged as he took his cancer stick back, accepting that the incident had caused some inner turmoil for him. "It shook me, too."

"We're not lost causes, are we?" I turned to my friend with a desperate facial expression after a few moments of silence, trying to comfort my sense of insecurity.

Daniel seriously pondered this for a moment, tossing his own cigarette butt out the window and turning off the record player before flopping down onto his side of the bed. His room was bathed in moonlight, making the usage of lamps unneeded as he lifted himself up on one elbow to look at me.

"We're not lost causes," He confirmed, gently taking one of my small hands and balling it up so that he could hold it in his significantly larger one. It was rare to see Daniel this intense, but whenever these moments came around they were always for good reason. "None of us are. We're just lost."

At this, I allowed myself to smile softly at my best friend before lowering myself into a lying position and getting comfortable. As per usual, Daniel had succeeded in making me feel positive once more and had shown me that even if he had a hard time believing in himself, he knew that he wasn't a total loss at the end of the day. It was important for people like him and I to continue having confidence in ourselves even when everyone else doubted us, and Daniel had reminded me of exactly that.

"It's like Harris said," I murmured as I loosely clasped his hand, both of us drifting to a very heavy and much needed sleep. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."


	13. Chapter 12 - The Garage Door

**The Garage Door**

**Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to NBC, Jake Kasdan, Judd Apatow, Paul Feig, Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Mike White, J. Elvis Weinstein, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.**

It was mornings like this when I truly felt like my own house was a zoo.

Not only were both my mother and my stepfather yelling, but objects like empty cans of beans and beer as well as cutlery were being thrown around like monkey shit from the kitchen to the living room. I had tried to sneak past the ruckus to get myself some toast, and barely made it to the fridge considering the fact that Rick was standing in the living room trying his best to drunkenly hurl a finished canister of beer at my mother while she tried to hold on to the tiny kitchen table for support. They were yelling unintelligibly, slurring swear words towards each other strung together only by a few other nouns that didn't make sense.

It wasn't usual for them to be abusive towards each other, as generally Rick took on the roll of my oppressor while my mother tried to block the world out and ignore everything that was going on, but it happened on occasion and I was unfortunate enough to experience it this morning. Since there attention was off of me however, I had originally believe that I would be able to escape the premises without any bruises, but just when I had finished toasting my bread and had picked up my bag to leave I was proven wrong.

I let out a harsh yelp of pain when my mother's arm – which was swinging back to throw a spoon towards Rick – connected with my stomach. Immediately she swung around at the sound, flushed face scrunching up in confusion as her eyes tried to focus on me.

"W-what are you still doing here?" She questioned as best she could in her inebriated stupor, gripping my shoulder tightly as to stop herself from falling forwards. "Go to s-school!"

My mouth fell open in partial shock that she hadn't even apologized after accidentally harming her only daughter, but as soon as she turned back around to continue throwing inanimate objects at my stepfather I was forced to swallow any disbelief. This hurtful reality was _my _reality, and I had to deal with it despite the pain that came with it.

So, on my walk to school – Daniel's car was on the fritz yet again and I didn't want to bother Kim considering she had been in a rather sour mood the day earlier – I ignored the soreness brewing in my stomach and tried to pick up my feet the best I could. It was a fairly warm day out, so I had only grabbed Daniel's jean jacket that he had loaned me for an unlimited amount of time before leaving the house and slid my sunglasses further up the bridge of my nose as I walked. Considering how late I had woken up I was already bound to miss the first two periods of school, so I didn't bother with a quick pace and instead lit a cigarette along my way.

By the time I actually did reach McKinley, the lunch bell had already rung and I could see students streaming out the front doors to go sit outside for their break. I was about to head inside and try to reach the patio where my friends would undoubtedly be, when a voice interrupted my plan.

"Kit-kat, over here!"

My head spun in the direction of my name being called, and my brow furrowed at the sight of Daniel sitting in a triangular formation alongside Nick and Ken on the school's silver bleachers. It was rare of my friends to sit out here at all, as we usually resided in the inner sections of the building in our nooks and crannies where we were more difficult to find, but apparently the nice weather had drawn the boys outside and they were currently occupied watching the marching band play.

"So you're telling me that you guys actually crawled out from under your rocks for once," I called as I made my way up to where they were sitting and plopped myself down next to Daniel. "And came outside?"

"What are you talking about?" Ken grumbled in denial, crossing his arms as he leaned against the barring of the bleachers to stare towards the school's musical geeks. "We come outside all the time."

"Right," I scoffed, taking out another cigarette and dropping it in Daniel's waiting hand. "When do you ever go outside willingly, Ken?"

"I'm out here right now," My friend retorted lightly, not even sparing a glance up towards me. "Aren't I?"

"What are they doing to this song?" Nick suddenly interrupted before I could get another word in edgewise, staring out dejectedly to where the marching band was trying to play their instruments and walk in a formation at the same time.

"What song is it?" Daniel asked, lighting up his own cigarette and taking a drag before passing it to me. I had apparently and unwillingly been designated the position as the holder of the pack for the day.

"It _was _Chicago's '25 or 6 to 4'_,_" Nick explained, lifting his arms as Ken made farting noises along to the beat. "but now it's totally unrecognizable."

"Why do you even know this song?" I shook my head in confusion, not remembering Nick having listened to any of _Chicago_'s music before considering the fact that he blabbed on and on about every single band he enjoyed.

"'Cause it's a good song, man!" Nick retorted just as Kim and Lindsay pulled up, quietly giggling to themselves about something else before fixing their eyes on the marching band that had now picked up the pace of the song.

"Oh my god – guys, check out the pizza faced dork with the trombone," Kim snorted at one of the particularly acne-ridden freshmen carrying a large brass instrument on his shoulders. "Why doesn't he just pop those things?"

"I think if he did he'd die of blood loss." Daniel teased, accepting the cigarette I handed back to him and taking a long drag.

"Oh, oh here we go, look! It's tuba girl!" Ken pointed towards the band and began to yell, cupping his hands around his mouth to make sure that he was heard. "Hey, hey! Your tuba is so big and sexy! It makes me hot listening to it, baby! Play us some Billy Joel! Yeah!"

Although there was no reaction from the band or the girl who he had been catcalling, the rest of us snickered at our friend's antics and continued to watch the uncoordinated teenagers stumble around the field.

"At least she knows how to play an instrument." Lindsay dutifully noted, glancing back at Ken uncertainly as if she wasn't sure whether or not she had earned the right to dish out insults.

"That's not playin' an instrument," Ken defended himself loosely. "That's like – that's like blowing into a toilet."

There was a chorus of laughs, and I let out my own giggle or two before a sharp pain in my stomach reminded me of this morning's incident. I clutched at the area in sudden discomfort, grimacing slightly but retaining silence. It was only Kim who noticed my sudden movement, and frowned at me strangely before motioning for me to pass her the cigarette that Daniel and I were sharing. She opened her mouth, looking as if she was about to ask me a question, when she was suddenly interrupted by Lindsay.

"Sounds better than your singing, Ken." The brain had shot back, leading all of us to release teasing choruses of 'oh's' as Daniel nudged Ken with his boot.

"Oh, Lindsay, here's an idea; how about you break up our band so you can make out with Nick?" Ken shot back, deciding to fight nasty and making me grimace in disappointment. Ken was fun when he was playing around, but the minute he couldn't think of a jolly insult to hurl back at someone he resorted to offense, which in my opinion wasn't his best tactic. "Oh wait, you already did that."

"Shut up, man!" Nick smacked Ken on the arm angrily, leaning down to profusely apologize to a slightly crestfallen Lindsay who was trying to shake Ken's words off.

This made both Kim and I roll our eyes while Nick continued to try and console the girl, as clearly he still had a thing for Lindsay and wasn't giving up. He had personally let us know that he still had feelings for the girl, and while we disagreed with his methods of trying to get her back – he had explained that through valiant note and song writing he could win over her affections once more – there was little we do to convince him to change his actions.

After the rest of the lunch period following a relatively similar structure – Nick continued to whine about how the marching band had completely butchered the song after they tried to play it through again, and Ken continued to try and make passes at the tuba girl who was vehemently ignoring all of his efforts. I did however, see her eye him in annoyance briefly after a particularly loud shout, and upon catching a glimpse at her whole face, recognized her as Amy – a girl from my English class last year. From what I had remembered she was a nice girl with a feisty attitude, who didn't often take crap from others. She wasn't a freak, but she definitely wasn't a geek and I remembered enjoying her presence very much so when she debated with the teachers.

"Meet at Galley's at seven?" Daniel suggested to everyone as soon as the bell rang, signifying the end of lunch and knocking me out of my thoughts.

Every so often we would have dinner at our usual diner, generally because it wasn't too far away from anyone's home nor was it outrageously expensive. Our congregations there most often than not meant that we were to go out and drink afterwards, but as of late it usually just meant that I would hijack a couple bottle of my parents liquor and we would end up drinking at one of the gang's homes. In the case of tonight, Nick had agreed to house several of us who wanted to crash at his place so that we could all head to school the next morning together and not risk driving under the influence.

There was a brief debate where Ken complained that he was tired of Galley's food, but Nick squished any argument and it was quickly decided that we would all meet at the establishment at the suggested time. We then dispersed from the bleachers, heading back into the school where we were forced to separate and head to class. This meant that I had Economics with Kim, who had already looped her arm into mine and was pulling me down the hallway.

"What's wrong with your stomach?" She immediately questioned, and I managed to hide my groan in time to shake my head. I hadn't wanted to speak about this morning's ridiculous accident, but apparently it was inevitable thanks to my best friend.

"I got hit," I began to explain as I shook my head, watching Kim's face morph into one of shock but stopping her reaction before she could say anything. "It was an accident – my parents were being stupid."

"Well, what happened?" Kim was now crossing her arms indignantly as we stopped at my locker, picking up the textbook that we shared – my blonde friend had lost hers halfway through the year – so that we could head to class.

"She was throwing a spoon at Rick," My face unwillingly began to curve up into a smile, recognizing the sick comedic value behind the awful incident. As sad as it was, Kim and I often laughed about these types of situations that happened in our homes as we acknowledged that seeing the brighter side of things was an important way to cope with them. "...it was actually kinda funny."

Kim was silent at first, regarding me with a somewhat concerned gaze as if I had gone crazy, but within the next five seconds we had both cracked up to tears as I tried to best describe the way my parents had been throwing inanimate objects at each other through howls of laughter. This cackling lasted all the way to class, although we were still stifling giggles by the time the teacher initiated the lesson and chastised us for making noise. We eventually quieted, however, when Kim was called upon for the third time after she let out a last snort of laughter.

It was at this point that I remembered that I was supposed to speak to her about the rather pressing topic of her and Daniel's peculiar protective feelings over me, but hesitated slightly as the blonde let out an annoyed huff towards the teacher who was now glaring at her. Kim had a very prominent angry streak running through her bones, one that intimidated many and was only tamable by the likes of Daniel and I. It was wisest, however, not to approach her with sensitive conversational content during such times when she was particularly angry as it would only result in the worsening of the presented problem, as well as most likely disturb the approacher.

At this point in time my friend didn't seem to be at her boiling point however, so as soon as the teacher delegated some work for the class to do and the students were reduced to buzzing conversations I immediately turned to Kim and took a leap of faith.

"So," I began rather tentatively, praying that by the end of the conversation my head wouldn't be on the end of a stick. "there's somethin' I wanted to talk about."

"Yeah?" Kim quickly pulled out her trusty nail file and began to work at the tips of her fingers, curiosity coating her face. "What's up?"

"Well..." I tried to think of my words and how to formulate what I was going to say properly. "I had a weird talk with Daniel last week."

Kim stopped filing her nails for a moment, a flash of anger lighting up her eyes as she gazed at me warily. I didn't say anything yet, biting my lip as if to suggest that the words I had exchanged with her boyfriend were less than enjoyable and that there was clearly an issue to be had.

"What'd he say?" She was treading lightly at this point as she hesitantly continued to file her nails. It occurred to me that Kim most likely thought Daniel had said something bad about her, and since she had no idea what I was going to tell her there must have been endless possibilities in her mind as to what her partner could have said.

"He told me that you hate it when I flirt with guys," I forced myself to spit out the words, watching as Kim's facial expression changed from denial to defensive to sour. "and that both of you feel like I'm yours...or something."

"Okay, first of all," Kim began immediately, sticking out her nail file like a tiny sword and slumping back in her seat as she stared at me with wide blue eyes. "Daniel sucks at wording shit like that; he totally got it wrong. I -"

"Kim," I interrupted the girl, shaking my head as a symbol that I didn't want to deal with her denial today. "He told me that you practically tell guys that you'll kill them if they flirt with me."

At this, she opened her mouth to argue, but then shut it abruptly and huffed slightly. It was as if she was struggling from an internal battle and didn't want to admit the truth to herself, but in the face of her best friend was being forced to. I wasn't in a particular rush; the class was hardly over and we had the rest of our lives to figure this odd puzzle out, but at some point or another Kim was going to have to respond. She couldn't stay silent forever, and from what it seemed like she was going to crack soon.

"It's just..." My best friend began, sighing again as she dropped her hands from their raised position onto her lap along with the nail file. "I dunno – I don't want you to end up with a shitty guy. You're like our family."

"I understand that," I tipped my head slightly, trying to reason with her and Daniel's logic. "But it's my body...it's not really fair of you guys to fence me off like an animal."  
"It's not like that," Kim shook her head as she fixed me with a pleading expression, her eyes begging for me to understand. "We just really love you Kit-kat – we don't mean to be like that. It's defensive, y'know?"

I sighed softly, picking at my long nails as I tried to nudge my friend in the right direction. Both her and Daniel knew how to get to me with their puppy dog gazes, but I knew that I had to drive my point home and explain to them that they couldn't manipulate my life like this. I understood their passion and sense of possessiveness now; it came from a place of love and I could empathize with that. But they both needed to be able to draw a clear line, and truth be told that was a difficult mission for both Daniel and Kim. They were both people whom I liked to call 'line-oversteppers', as the duo made questionable morale choices in a variety of situations that most often than not exceeded ethical, emotional and rational boundaries. I had found myself victim of this lapse in judgement several times as well, although I didn't mark myself as a consistent 'line-overstepper' – despite my numerous assaults against the school's hallways and several cheerleaders – and tried to remind myself of statistical normality every once in awhile.

"I love you guys too," I chose my next words carefully as I held Kim's gaze, making sure that she understood there was no tension between us and no reason to harvest bitter feelings. "and I'm not mad – I just need you guys to let me make my own choices. I'm not gonna end up with some shitty guy, Kim. I'm not that stupid."

"I know," My friend groaned, shifting her eyes to the ceiling as if she was praying for the strength to deal with this situation. "I'm just worried that you're gonna get hurt, or that someone's gonna take advantage of you!"

"Kim," I stopped the girl before she got carried away, sticking out a hand and smiling slightly. "I hate to break it to you, but I can sometimes take care of myself too, yeah?"  
"I know," She sighed, shoulders slumping even further. "But we've done it for so long that it just feels normal."

I recognized that the 'we' in that sentence meant her and Daniel – as well as Ken and Nick who were not always as actively or directly involved in my issues – and that she was actually trying very hard to see my point of view. Kim had made some massive emotional strides in the past year, not only forcing herself to find a true friend in Lindsay but also making advancements with her communication skills. I had noted that she was better at seeing things from other's points of view, although Daniel was usually excluded from that new upgrade in her personality.

"All I'm saying is to trust me a bit," I suggested, knowing that now that the conversation was a bit lighter-hearted I could joke around. "Y'know? I hate to break it to you, but I've been sleeping with guys as long you have."

"I know," Kim smirked, rolling her eyes at my sarcasm. We had been best friends since kindergarten, and considering the fact that losing our virginities was such a big deal we had told each other everything come each of our special days. There were no secrets between Kim and I, which was what led her to smile at this current moment. It seemed that for now she wasn't murderous towards the idea of boys touching me, although I would keep her out of my sex life as I had been doing for all this time. "I just don't think about it."

"See? Exactly!" I held out a hand as my theory was proved; Kim didn't like thinking about me with other men, but she fully accepted that it happened and was trying to control the part of the equation that she could in efforts to protect me. I wasn't sure about Daniel, as I still had to talk to him about this whole mess, but concerning Kim the only problem was that she was scared of me getting hurt and needed to accept the reality that I knew how to take care of myself when it came to boys. "Out of sight, out of mind. I promise I'll keep you far away from my sex life – and you don't have to worry about it."

"Deal," Kim smirked teasingly as she held out a pinky, and I snorted as I took my own finger and hooked it through hers so that we could shake on it. We had been performing pinky swears ever since the first grade, and hadn't given up the habit when we had moved on up through the ages.

Although I knew that I had to eventually speak to Daniel about our unfinished conversation, I had difficulty approaching him about it throughout the rest of the day and decided to postpone the conversation for another time. We had a nice evening planned ahead of us and I didn't want to ruin his mood, considering how our last talk had gone, so I didn't say anything when he, Kim and I traveled to Aldo's Salvage and Tow to try and figure out what was wrong with his car yet again. He had left the vehicle there overnight, but after some brief tinkering the boy managed to figure out the problem and we hitched a ride to his home.

Kim and I proceeded with our usual routine for an evening out, stationing ourselves in Daniel's bathroom and sitting each other down on the toilet so that we could properly apply makeup. By now this type of scenario was normal for us, although it never stopped our male counterpart from eyeing us curiously every time he watched us 'paint each other's faces', as he put it so lovingly.

"It's like an art," Daniel commented this time around as he began to shave in the relatively small space. "I don't get how girls do it."

"Magic," I deadpanned as I finished applying eyeshadow around Kim's blue orbs, waving the brush like a wand. "We're all wizards."

"You mean witches?" Kim corrected with a smirk while Daniel chuckled carefully as to not cut himself.

"Right – oh yeah, we're all evil witches," I matter-of-factly explained again, sitting myself down on the toilet lid while Kim began to give me the same treatment. "We all terrible, awful witches that work for the devil."

"That explains it," Daniel drawled, and although my eyes were shut I could practically see the sly smile on his face as he made a jab towards his girlfriend. "'Ey Kim? Is that why you're such a bitch to me all the time?"

"Shut up, Daniel."

I heard a 'thump' and imagined it to be Kim's foot connecting with Daniel's leg, because the boy let out a yelp and cursed slightly as he reprimanded the blonde for doing such a thing while he was shaving. I sighed lowly as the two began to lightly bicker back and forth, mentally smacking myself for ever bringing this subject up. It had meant to be joking, but Kim had taken Daniel's stupid comment seriously and now the mood was turning sour rather quickly. I wasn't sure if they had had an argument earlier today or if they were both in off moods, but whatever it was it was becoming a pain in the ass.

"- and it's not my fault you're such an ass, y'know?" My best friend was trying to concentrate on applying my eyeshadow, but with Daniel continuing the argument I could tell her focus was wavering. "Maybe _you're _the devil, Daniel. Maybe that's it – ever thought of that?!"

"Oh, I'm the devil?" Daniel snorted, and it took all the willpower I had not to shout at them both. I hated getting trapped in their arguments, especially when I had inevitably started it with some random topic that they shouldn't have gotten angry about. "You sound like you're possessed half the time, sweets. I wouldn't be so sure."

"God, you're such a dirtb-" Kim started, but before I knew it I couldn't take this anymore and was interrupting her.

"Stop!" I groaned suddenly, distracting both my friends as they quieted immediately. Sometimes they forgot that there was a third party present for their discussions, and despite my tolerance for these types of situations I really didn't want to hear them argue today. "Please, guys. Just stop. This is so stupid."

There was silence as Kim continued to apply my makeup, and I could hear Daniel's razor continuing to move across his skin with that familiar scratching noise. I wasn't sure if I had helped or harmed the situation, but stayed silent and still with my eyes shut loosely.

"Sorry," Kim muttered after a bit, but I wasn't sure if her apology was directed towards me or Daniel. The latter also seemed confused at his girlfriend's statement, because the running water was the only noise in the room for another moment.

"Sorry," Daniel's low grumble also greeted my ears, and I briefly realized that it didn't matter who their words were directed towards because they were apologizing to the whole room. They had acknowledged that I was discomforted and that they had also argued uselessly and, without being too direct, had tried to make up for the situation.

As a reward, when Kim finally finished applying my eyeshadow and I cracked open my eyelids, I tried not to make the situation any more awkward and immediately focused on mascara. Thankfully Daniel finished shaving then, and noisily clacked the side of his razor on the ceramic sink before shutting off the water, blotting his face try with a towel and stepping out of the bathroom without another word. His expression had been blank, but I could read my best friend like a book and knew that he was both miffed and guilty for the time being.

Kim, on the other hand, was looking tired. This wasn't a usual expression that lay on my friend's face, but as she carefully applied her own mascara I tried to understand why she would be feeling this way. A relationship like her and Daniel's took a lot of emotional strain, especially if arguments like the one they had just had were common. Brief spats, even as brief as they were, were like little bug bites that drained love out of a scenario and reminded two people why they weren't very compatible. Kim and Daniel, of course, continued to deny this fact, but everyone else could see it.

"Just forget it," I urged my friend as I threw my makeup back in it's small sac and tossed it into my messenger bag, sensing that she was all too focused on the recent snide conversation. "Okay? It was stupid."

"I know," Kim's tone was tight and defensive, suggesting I drop the subject, so with a last sigh I brushed a comforting hand across my friend's back and made to leave the bathroom.

"Hey," Kim stopped me before I could completely leave, voice surprisingly calmed down. "can you do me a solid and calm Daniel down? I'm gonna go have a smoke outside."

"Sure," I nodded towards the blonde who had made me pause in the doorway with her last request, smiling softly at her in hopes that it would help calm her down. She was easily worked up by these little fights and it was in her best interest to be alone for a bit, so I was proud that she was delegating the responsibility of dealing with Daniel to someone else while she took control of her own emotions. "No problem."

I didn't bother to change into any of the clothing that I left here at Daniel's when I reached his room, instead focusing on my dark haired friend that was leaning out of his windowsill smoking a cigarette. Dropping my bag onto the floor, I strode across his room and lay a hand on his back, alerting him of my presence without words and feeling him tense up slightly before relaxing slightly.

I continued with my silence and began the familiar procedure of dragging my hand through his hair, massaging his scalp with varying degrees of pressure using my nails. At first Daniel didn't react, but after a minute or two he sighed softly and cracked his shoulders. His head reeled back slightly into my touch, and I accepted the cigarette he wordlessly offered me whilst watching his back muscles coil and uncoil. It was nice knowing that I could do such a favor for my friend and make a difference in his stress level, even if the source of the problem was my other best friend who refused to realize that this relationship was growing more and more toxic by the day.

"Tell you what," Daniel suddenly began, making me frown as I took a long drag of the cigarette before passing it back to him. "She can flap her lips all she wants from now on – I ain't fightin' back."

"Yeah, but you say that all the time, Daniel," I argued softly, leaning against the sill alongside him as he squinted at the setting sun. "That's not the answer to the problem."

"What _is_ the answer to the problem?" He snapped back harshly, making me flinch slightly before realizing what he'd done and apologizing. "Sorry."

"You guys have to talk like normal human beings," I shook my head, sighing loudly as I pried the cancer stick from his fingers. "You both have an anger problem."

"You've got one too," Daniel reminded somewhat bitterly, and I pulled a face at my friend as the message of my statement quite literally flew over his head.

"That's not the point," I spoke my mind and continued, trying to drive my point home that no matter how many tactics Daniel tried to use against his on and off girlfriend, nothing would work until he realized that normal communication and problem solving skills were the answer. "The point is that you guys are both angry people who don't know how to talk to each other properly. And you fight all the time because of it."

Daniel was silent, but I could hear him swallow loudly as he finally listened to what I had to say. There were two types of listening; one was to truly understand what the other person was saying and respond to it after they were done speaking, and the other was to pretend to listen while you thought about what you were going to say next. Of course, the latter of these two was not actually listening, but I saw Kim and Daniel doing it plenty of times before and had quickly analyzed that this was the problem.

"You have to stop thinking about the next think you're gonna say when you're fighting," I tried to suggest, working with his silence and hoping my words didn't fly in through one ear and out through the other. "You guys don't listen to each other enough."

"Maybe you're right," Daniel sighed, accepting the cigarette I passed back to him and coming a hand through his greasy hair.

"Of course I'm right," I scoffed heartily, crossing my arms and smirking slightly. "I'm always right."

"No way are you always right," Daniel grinned his infamous grin, the one that showed off his full set of perfectly straight teeth and made everyone else in it's vicinity automatically smile. I found myself victim of this spell as he shot the expression towards me, grinning widely back at him as we both joked along.

I truly believed that my words to both of my best friends made a difference, because when Kim re-emerged into the home and slid a Van Halen album onto the turntable she immediately lay a kiss on Daniel's lips. Both of them responded much better to each other right away, so as I excused myself to give them a minute alone and have my own private smoke outside I let a smirk coat my features. I wasn't bad at doing my job as a friend and correctly guiding my companions towards taking the right steps in their relationship, even though it was always awkward when they made up right in front of me.

Being their third wheel for all these years hadn't been as weird as one would have assumed, even though I couldn't deny that at certain times it had been uncomfortable to know that they were getting in on in a room right beside mine or in a closet nearby. To be completely honest I had had my own crush on Daniel many years ago; as did all the girls in our middle school years who were inevitably drawn towards Daniel's rebellion and darkness, but when our friendship had solidified and it was clear that our gang of freaks was all part of something bigger the feelings had receded away.

I was forced to relight my cigarette as I realized it had burnt out in my thought process, and tried to ignore Kim's loud giggle coming from Daniel's room. Trying to keep their relationship alive was exhausting for all parties involved, and even though they had good times like these it was almost inevitable that they would go back downhill again. Despite my various efforts to help the pair I realized this, and sort of felt like I was feeding a dying fire that was going to be drenched in water either way. Their two personalities were just too different to continue onward healthily, and at this point it was about who would crack first.

I refrained from making any comments on this however, and upon finishing my cigarette headed back into Daniel's room – I made sure to knock carefully before entering and was surprisingly greeted by the sight of both Daniel and Kim completely clothed and sorting his albums on the floor – only to drop to the floor and reach underneath his bed.

"What are you doing?" Daniel frowned at me, and I merely scrunched my nose up as my hand tried to grasp the familiar feeling of the neck of a bottle.

"I left some rum here last time I came," I explained, watching both my friends morph into shock. "For safekeeping, y'know?"

"And you didn't tell me?!" Daniel barked, a teasing betrayal now taking over his features as I smirked."The hell, Kitty-kat."

"To be fair...we all drink like fish," I grunted once as I reached further underneath my friend's bed only to have my fingers wrap around glass. "Of course I didn't tell you."

Once I had stored the large bottle of liquor in my bag, we all made sure that we had everything we needed for the night before hopping in the Trans Am and taking off towards Galley's Diner. It wasn't likely that Lindsay was going to come along with us to Nick's house to drink, and Nick rarely drank himself, so I assured myself that the bottle would be more than enough for the night.

When we reached the Galley's we spotted our favorite stoner's V8 parked in the lot – which was astonishing, actually, considering how late Nick usually was to everything – and eagerly stepped inside the restaurant moments later to find him and Ken already seated in a booth. Lindsay was nowhere to be seen as of yet, but we had let her know where to find us and would simply wait for her to arrive.

"I can't believe it," Kim teased, pulling me into the booth beside her as Ken let us sit down. I was seated between the two, but didn't mind as I fit rather perfectly. "You guys are actually early."

"So what's happening," Ken tried to clarify tonight's plans, looking between all four of us confusedly. "Are we drinking tonight, or what?"

"Yeah man," Daniel nodded down at Nick. "If Nicky over here is still cool with lettin' us crash in the basement."

"Absolutely," Our red-eyed friend smiled loopily before standing to move out of the booth. "Hey, could we get some food?"

"Yeah – what do you guys want?" Daniel turned towards the three of us sitting in the booth, surprising us with the sweet gesture.

I let Ken and Kim order before simply asking for fries, not feeling too hungry at the moment or like forcing myself to indulge in food I wouldn't enjoy. Daniel gave me a weary look at this, but let it slide and proceeded to the counter with Nick where they placed our order and waited. By the time our food came around it was about seven twenty, and by the time we were halfway through our meal Lindsay showed up.

"Hey!" She leaned on the empty booth behind Nick and Daniel and smiled sweetly, surprising the boys who hadn't seen her coming from the entrance. "Sorry I'm so late."

"Yeah, well, thanks to you we had to cancel our dinner plans." Ken teased, causing Lindsay to let out a chuckle. It seemed that she was finally getting the beat of Ken's humor, which was saying something considering when she had first met the boy they had somewhat gotten off on a weird foot.

"Can you ever not be sarcastic?" Nick scoffed at his friend, tossing a fry in his direction.

"I'm sarcastic?" Ken feigned shock and mortification, further proving Nick's statement as we all laughed.

"Alright Andopolis, come on," Daniel ushered Nick from his spot a moment later. "We're gettin' some more fries."

As soon as the two boys had made their way over to the counter and were out of earshot, Lindsay slid into their booth and immediately gave Ken a weird look. At first I wondered why the awkwardness was present, but upon looking towards my blonde friend sitting beside me I found her staring at Ken strangely as well. It took a moment for me to understand the signal; they wanted 'girl talk', and this meant that Ken was not to be present.

"Sorry bud," I made a face at my friend and tried to make the situation clear for him, as it was obvious Lindsay and Kim weren't going to say anything beside shoot him weird looks until he left. "You're being exiled."

"Right," Ken eyed us strangely, slowly getting up from his spot. "I'll just go...pee."

I pulled a face at his comment but let him go regardless, and both Kim and I turned back to Lindsay. I didn't know exactly why my blonde friend had made him leave the table, but it was obviously important because now she was leaning in as if she had a secret.

"So," She started, smirking slightly as she motioned her head in the direction of Nick. "Lindsay – what is the deal with you two? Do you still like Nick?"

"No," Our friend scoffed, reeling back slightly as she shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just trying to be friends again."

"Well forget it," Kim shot that idea down quickly, and Lindsay's expression quickly took on one of confusion and a bit of hurt. "You'll never be friends. Maybe in, like two years."

"Wh -" Lindsay began to question as to why this apparent fact was true, but Kim cut her off.

"But you're never really gonna be friends again until Nick gets another girlfriend," Kim explained, and I found myself frowning at the warped theory. "and then you're just gonna want him back and then this whole thing is just gonna start over again -"

"I'm not gonna want him back," Lindsay defended, laughing Kim's words off as her eyes flipped between mine and hers for validation.

"All right," Kim snorted, causing me to open my mouth to argue. "Yeah – sure."

"Hold on though," I held out a hand, wanting to clarify that perhaps Lindsay was right here. "Lindsay isn't like all of Nick's other girlfriends."

I tried to refrain from telling her that Lindsay wasn't like her and Daniel either, which was where Kim was getting her crazy theories from, as I knew that it would only hurt my friend's feelings to be reminded that she was in a toxic relationship with a boy who she really did love.

"Whatever," The blonde rolled her eyes before turning back to Lindsay. "Look – just don't lead him on, okay? 'Cause he's obviously still in love with you."

"No he's not!" Lindsay argued weakly, lowering her tone to make sure that the boys couldn't overhear our conversation. "Nick is the one who broke up with me, remember?"

"Oh yeah, Lindsay – like _that _fooled anybody," Kim shot back, making Lindsay smile as she realized that we were a bit smarter than we looked and that we had deciphered the situation long ago. Perhaps this was a laughing matter now, but if Nick continued on the way that he was going this situation would get very bad very fast. "Look, you're just too nice, y'know? He's gonna get the wrong idea."

"Well, what?" Lindsay and again I frowned as I tried to understand what Kim was doing. Influencing anyone to "Am I supposed to be mean?"

"No," Kim pondered for a moment, then shot an idea at the brain. "Don't be mean – just be a bitch."

"Wh- Kim!" I sputtered, surprised at how my friend had contradicted herself so easily. "Being a bitch _is_ being mean! What do you want her to do, tell Nick to go fuck himself?!"

"No!" My blonde friend retaliated. "She just needs to let him know she doesn't want him anymore."

"So she can give him the cold shoulder," I made a face as I tried to straighten out this crazy situation and shook my head at Lindsay as if to silently plead with her to not listen to Kim. There was nothing good in telling someone to be purposely mean, and I didn't want to have any hand in that sort of manipulation. "You don't have to be a bitch, Lindsay. Just shoot him down nicely – that'll do. Eventually he'll realize you're not interested."

"Look, all I'm saying is being a bitch gets that done faster," Kim suggested, and I groaned in frustration before slapping a palm against my forehead. "This is for his own good, and you're not gonna be his friend anyway."

"Okay, first off -" I began to retaliate, willing to try to sort this scenario out again but immediately being shot down by Kim.

"Hold on," She held out a hand, and I sighed before obeying. "Lindsay – if he knew what you were doing, he'd thank you."

"Oh come on," My mouth dropped open as I saw the gears turning in Lindsay's head, frantically staring between her and Kim. "You're not seriously considering this, are you? Lindsay – there's going to be drama if you do this. Do you really want that?"

"Well, no...but -"

"But nothing!" I interrupted, ignoring Kim's eye-roll at my antics. I was notoriously anti-drama, even though my various spurts of anger tried to prove otherwise, and this sometimes caused some rifts between Kim and I. "You don't know if Nick is gonna be your friend – he _could _be, and you can't just hurt someone because you don't want to date them. There's easier ways to do that."

Lindsay looked fairly torn as she stared between Kim and I, but didn't have time to respond because before we knew it the boys were squishing themselves back into the booth with more fries and hearty conversation. Daniel did the favor of placing himself in between Nick and Lindsay, although I could sense that he had also spoken to Nick considering how somber our friend's face now looked. I didn't know what had been said up at the counter, but I bet that it wasn't anything good and that once again Ken and Daniel had been chastising our friend for trying to win Lindsay back.

Over the last several weeks had had even gone so far as to sing to the girl, causing extreme second hand embarrassment for all of us in the group after we had learnt that his apparent serenade had been heard by the whole patio. It wasn't that we didn't agree with Nick's romantic tactics; it was just that the boy was overly passionate and was a giant 'line-overstepper' when it came to relationships.

"Hey Lindsay," Kim caught my attention as she called for the brain yet again. "Are you coming over to Nick's tonight?"

"I've got booze," I smiled slyly as my comment drew the attention of the rest of the table, wondering if Lindsay was going to take a chance and enjoy a night of fun with us despite her and Nick's strange relationship as well as her certain innocence.

Kim's comment had actually been a sort of call out – a test to see if Lindsay would give in to the temptation of falling back into step with Nick. She had been invited tonight, of course, but nearly everyone expected her to say no because of two reasons; first, the event was at Nick's house and she was trying to steer clear of the boy in the nicest way possible, and two because there would be booze and considering the last time Lindsay had 'drank' the drinks had been alcohol free. She was genuinely afraid of heavy liquor, it seemed, so I was half expecting her to say no as well.

"Oh..." At first Lindsay pondered the invitation once more and looked as though she was about to accept, but at the last moment shook her head. "No – that's alright. It's a school night – I shouldn't be home too late."

"Right," Ken nodded, and I could tell another sarcastic comment was coming. "You wouldn't wanna piss off your dad."

"Oh my god, Ken," I rolled my eyes and shoved my friend as Lindsay smiled in good humor, watching the rest of us groan and laugh at the same time. "Shut it."

"Hey, is he still mad about the car?" Daniel suddenly questioned, gazing curiously towards Lindsay as he slide another fry between his lips.

"Not really," Lindsay shrugged as some of us sighed quietly in relief. We still felt rather guilty about the incident and weren't sure if our small return favor had been enough, so we were all interested in hearing her answer. "Sam painted the bumper over so he's not as mad – he was pretty sour about paying the lady's damages, though."

We were all quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say after that, but the conversation picked up speed again when Ken, Nick and Kim began to brag about their shop class grades. This quickly spiraled into more whines about how the rest of the subjects in school were extraordinarily difficult for them, and before we knew it another hour had gone by. We decided to exit the diner then, taking our leftovers with us and forcing Daniel to carry the box despite his complaints, but ran into a surprise on our way out.

"Hey Amy!" Lindsay greeted the girl entering the Galley's diner in surprise, and we all did a double take at the girl's interesting getup.

"Hey Lindsay," Amy greeted the brain in return, obviously just having come from marching band practice as she was clad in a green button up jacket, a large green hat and white leggings topped off with green boots. The whole outfit was draped in little gold lacing, causing her to look like something right out of a Christmas scene.

"Nice threads," Ken teased, looking her up and down. I avoided making any facial expression as I knew that being a part of the marching band required her to wear the uniform, and although it wasn't very fashionable as long as Amy was having fun it clearly didn't matter to her.

"Nice voice," Amy imitated Ken's baritone in an equally sarcastic manner, and my mouth dropped open in an overjoyed surprise as I realized that Amy could dish them out just as well as she could take them.

"Hey Sergeant Pepper, where's the rest of the lonely hearts club band?" Ken retaliated, fully up to the challenge of taking Amy down in this apparent battle of wits.

"Well, it looks like you ate 'em." Amy shot back, smirking slightly as we all chorused in surprised.

"Oh!" I covered my mouth as my friends laughed, placing a teasing hand on Ken's shoulder. "Ouch!"

"Yeah Ken," Kim guffawed. "when _are _the twins due?"

"That's not nice!" Daniel tried to defend his friend, although I could tell that he found this just as funny as the rest of us and was struggling to hide his laughter.

"Lindsay, is this bonehead a friend of yours?" Amy turned to the brain in mock curiosity, raising a slender brow.

"No, he's just a pain in my ass!" Lindsay hopped right onto the bandwagon of good humor, now giggling relentlessly as Nick teasingly comforted our friend.

"Yeah, well, see you later Elvis," Amy squeezed past our group, comment directed towards Ken as she passed by. "Good luck with those mutton chops."

"Oh, man!" Kim let out another bark of laughter as we all tried to stifle our chuckles. Amy had a fairly prominent backbone and was hard to mess around with, as had very easily just proved to us seconds ago. "That was priceless."

"You just got totally roasted," I patted Ken's back and urged him along as he stared back towards Amy, seemingly in shock that someone had demolished him with his own sarcasm. "That's alright – you'll get over it."

It took Ken a minute to file out the door after me, but as soon as he slid into Nick's V8 and made a remark about the awful smell I could tell he would be back to normal in no time. Kim, Lindsay and I piled into Daniel's car after agreeing to meet Ken and Nick at the Andopolis household, wanting to drop Lindsay off before we indulged in our night of fun. It was the least we could do after having her come out and meet us was take her back home, as we didn't want to look like complete shit to her parents and took pleasure in reminding them every once in awhile that we weren't totally awful friends.

She thanked us for that, granting us one last grin as she disappeared from view and entered her house. After she had left the vehicle Daniel took the opportunity to turn the radio up and roll the windows down, as he knew Kim and I's comfort levels in terms of his car, on our way to Nick's.

"This night better not suck!" Kim called over the music, grabbing my messenger bag from off the floor of the Trans Am and feeling around for the bottle of liquor. "I'm tellin' you – I don't wanna hear Nick whining the whole time about Lindsay!"

I watched her pull out the rum and the bottle of coke that I always kept in my bag for extra precaution, then take a shot and chase it down with the fizzy sweet soda.

"It won't suck!" I cried back over the noise of the radio, where AC/DC's 'Sin City' was drowning out the noise of the engine, and accepted the bottles from my blonde friend to take my own shot.

"Yeah, it wont suck! Because we are..." Daniel agreed, cranking up the radio some more as he prepared to sing along to the song, Kim and I joining in with shit-eating grins on our faces. "..._goin' in, to sin city!_"

* * *

I was without a doubt the most hungover I had been in years.

Last night's escapades had been a hoot; we had taken advantage of the fact that Nick's father hadn't been home and trashed the entire basement, although at the time our intention had not been to do so. Remnants of food, blankets and bottles of coke littered the boy's floor in the morning as the five of us had woken up fairly late for school, and after pathetically attempting to cleanup and taking turns to puke our stomach's out we had tried our best to proceed to school.

By the time lunchtime rolled around Ken and Daniel were both feeling better – Nick had barely drank anything and spent most of the evening stoned beyond belief – as they had done the right thing and gulped down immense amounts of water as soon as they had woke up. Unfortunately Kim and I were far worse off, as we had both been complaining of headaches that just wouldn't go away. The good news was that for the most part my nausea had simmered down a fair bit – in fact I hadn't vomited since we had left Nick's house.

"Oh hey! You know what?" Nick exclaimed as he, Ken, Daniel and I walked down the hall side by side on our way to the cafeteria to meet up with Lindsay and Kim. "They're doing 'Laser Floyd_'_ at the Laser Dome tomorrow night!"

"Shh," I spat towards the boy from my place in between him and Daniel. I still hadn't removed the sunglasses from my face despite the fact that we were inside, knowing fully well that the lights would hurt my eyes too much. "You've gotta quiet down, Nick – you're yelling in my ear."

"I'm not yelling! Maybe you shouldn't have drank so much," He tried to defend himself and tried to remove the sunglasses from my face, laughing slightly as I whined wordlessly and swatted his hands away. "See? Anyway, Laser Dome is gonna be sick."

"Oh yeah, I heard that," Ken's sarcasm graced us once again as he placed his hands in his pockets and shot a face at Nick. "It was in _all _the newspapers."

"Oh, like _you're_ too good for a laser show." Nick spread his arms, hopeful that at least one of us was going to vouch for his enthusiasm.

"Man, why do I need to go to a laser show when I can make my own?" Ken retorted, pointing to his curly mop of hair. "...in my mind."

"Come on, guys! It's Floyd!" Nick complained, proceeding to quote from Pink Floyd's 'Another brick in the Wall II'. "_If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any puddin'_!"

"Alright!" Daniel pushed him away in mock embarrassment, silently praying for him to stop his antics. "Jeez..."

"I don't even wanna be seen with you." I muttered towards my friend, earning me a smack on the arm.

"It's Floyd!" Nick kept trying to convince us to be more excited about his idea. "Come on, they're not gonna do the laser show forever!"

"Go where?" Kim suddenly popped up behind our group with Lindsay in tow, causing Daniel to wrap an arm around her as the rest of us automatically tensed up. 'Kim' and 'Laser Dome' did _not _go well in the same sentence, and the fact that Daniel was about to reveal where we were headed tomorrow night would no doubt end badly.

"Oh," Daniel tried to announce the news nonchalantly, but I cringed as I waited for Kim's response. "To, uh...Laser Dome."

"You're taking _me_ to Laser Dome?!" Kim pushed Daniel away as if he had suddenly grown another head, venom overtaking her tone as her face changed to one of disgust.

Kim's unrequited hatred for the Laser Dome and all of it's lit-up glory came out of an incident several months ago where she and Daniel had been broken up for about a week, and my best friend had decided to take Wendy Franklin – a rather whorish freak who was known for breaking up relationships and getting into people's heads through sex – there on a date. Apparently, they had done 'unspeakable things', as Kim had put it when she had described the incident to me in between clenched teeth, which caused the blonde to hold a skewed opinion of the Laser Dome ever since.

"Yeah, be happy." Daniel tried to play it off, but I inhaled sharply through my teeth as I acknowledged that that was the wrong comment to have made.

As if to prove my point, Kim shoved him once more and huffed bitterly causing Daniel to retreat his hands and simply place them in his pockets instead. I could sense the mood going downhill fast.

"Isn't Laser Dome just a bunch of squiggly lights on a ceiling?" Lindsay piped up, looking dubiously up at the school's ceiling as if comparing the two ceilings in question. She had a good point, but this comment upset Nick.

"No, it's not just a bunch of squiggly lights on a ceiling!" Nick imitated her snarkily, causing Lindsay to look rather put out. "What is wrong with you people?! Laser Dome is a metaphysical experience!"

"Yeah, especially if you have your hand up Wendy Franklin's shirt." Kim spat towards Daniel, and I nearly groaned as I sensed a whole other shit storm brewing and about to strike. Kim was always angry at something; it was how she stayed alive, and I wasn't surprised that today she was going to focus on the Wendy Franklin issue. Since the girl still attended McKinley and was constantly around, Kim was always bothered by her presence and constantly reminded of when she had partially succeeded in making a pass at Daniel. I still wasn't sure how far they had gone at the public establishment many months ago, but I could only imagine that Kim wouldn't have held a grudge this long for a little kiss.

There was silence until our group reached the cafeteria, and at this point it was clear that the emotions in the group were running high. Kim abruptly spun to look at Lindsay, eyes flashing in annoyance.

"So, do you wanna go or not?" She questioned, causing Lindsay to glance nervously in between the blonde and I. At this point I sensed that she was trying to decide whether or not to be rude towards Nick's idea or not.

"Yeah! I mean –" Lindsay began before suddenly stopping herself and glancing at Nick. Something changed in her expression, and she quickly reorganized her opinion. "Maybe, I dunno."

"Is it just me, or did it get a little chilly in here?" Ken noted, hands in his back pockets as he pointed out the obvious. There was no need for him to say these things, but Ken would be Ken and there was no changing the boy.

Suddenly, in a flurry of movement, a group of girls passed by us to head into the cafeteria with innocent giggles and arms full of books. These passersby would have been relatively unimportant besides the fact that one of them was wearing a rather short skirt similar to the ones the cheerleaders would have worn, which bounced dangerously up and down each time she took a step forward and threatened to reveal more than it covered. The provocative material caused all three pairs of the boy's eyes in our group to inevitably latch onto her rear end, making me gulp as I realized that if Kim noticed this she would never let them hear the end of it.

"You better knock that off," Ken smirked at Daniel, reeling in the attention of Kim who managed to catch her boyfriend's eyes right before they tore themselves off of the girl's behind. "your girlfriend's right there."

Nick and Ken were the only ones to chuckle at this right before all hell broke loose, and I resisted the urge to smack Ken for giving Daniel away. It wasn't that I had wanted to hide any of the boy's stares; I didn't blame them for looking at all – but Kim was particularly sensitive to these types of things and blew up over very little. So when someone like Ken, who just wanted to create unnecessary drama, made a comment like that it angered me quite a bit.

"Seriously, Daniel!?" Kim barked, loud enough to draw attention from some of the other kids lounging about in the halls but not loud enough to cause the teacher's to stop strolling by. I felt my head pound in "What the hell?!"

"What?" My best friend retaliated, spreading his arms wide as if he hadn't done a thing wrong. "Guys look at girls! Whaddya want me to do Kim, it's natural!"

"_Natural_!?" She shot back, shoving him in the chest as her jaw clenched in rage. "I'm right here, you asshole!"

"Calm down!" Daniel tried to urge the girl, lowering his own voice and again making an attempt to play the whole situation off. Nick subconsciously moved himself closer to Daniel as to shield the boy from any possible oncoming attacks, and I was briefly reminded that my friend's support system was actually a lot stronger than I thought.

I grimaced heavily as I covered my face, wishing that he hadn't said those words. The worst thing you could say to anyone when they as angry as Kim at the moment was to 'calm down', and I was surprised that Daniel had made this mistake despite all his years with the girl. The rest of us fervently tried to pretend like this argument wasn't as big of a deal as the couple was making is seem to be, although our group was drawing more stares as the seconds ticked by.

"What do you mean, natural?!" Kim continued to yelp, as she loosely motioned towards the cafeteria where the short-skirted girl had gone off to. "Does that mean you look at girls all the time, huh!?"

"I don't look at girls all the time," Daniel tried to reason with the furious girl, holding both his hands up as hers curled into fists. "All I'm sayin' is -"

"I don't _care _what you have to say, Daniel!" Kim finally screeched, making me jump a bit in the air before running a stressed hand through my hair. "God, every time we break up you go after some slut like a dog – you're such a tool!"

"Then maybe you shouldn't break up with me all the time!" Daniel threw his arms up in the air, finally cracking under the pressure and snapping back at her.

"You know what - fine, Daniel!" Kim nearly shouted, anger reaching an all new level as the rage practically melted off of her in waves. "That's it! We're done for good, you sleaze ball!"

Daniel's eyes flashed in panic for a moment, but he watched his now ex-girlfriend storm away leaving a trail of fury in her wake without a complaint. His grimace revealed that he regretted the way he had handled the situation, but the way he rolled his eyes suggested that he most definitely did not feel at fault. To him, this was just another one of Kim's vicious ways of expressing annoyance at how he handled their breaks, and perhaps it was another one of their legendary rows, but for some reason this time seemed like the end of the rope for both of them. They were getting tired, and it was clear in both of their faces.

"Thanks _Ken_," Daniel hissed, shoving the boy harshly and causing him to yelp in pain before my best friend turned back to me. "Go, Kat. She's on the warpath now."

I nodded sharply before turning on my heel and following Lindsay and Kim's trail into the cafeteria seeing them exit through the patio doors and racing after them. I didn't want Kim to be left alone with Lindsay for a couple reasons, mostly because she could only tolerate me when she was angry and because I didn't want Lindsay to get hurt any more than she probably already was. Kim could be a huge bitch – as Lindsay and I both knew – so it was vital that I caught up with the two as soon as possible before Kim went off on another crazy tangent.

"Watch it, dirtbag!"

_Too late. _

What the hell was happening now?

I pushed through the patio doors where Kim's voice had filtered through, and found her face to face with a boy I recognized from our Economics class who was looked moreso confused than anything that the blonde had apparently run into him.

"Woah – hey look, I'm sorry," He calmly tried to assure, holding out his hand as he reached down to the ground to collect Kim's book that she had dropped in the process of colliding into him. "Here."

"Yeah, you should be." Kim fumed, grabbing the book from him while I regarded the scenario pleasantly surprised. It was rare to find someone who didn't react badly to Kim's outbursts, although the boy's expression changed a bit when Kim remained unpleasant with him.

"Well yeah...that's why I said sorry," He shot back somewhat awkwardly, stumping a still upset Kim who meanly scrunched her face up at him as he rose a brow down at her. "So...sorry again, I guess. Why are you so mad, anyway?"

My eyes briefly ran over this boy's tall form, taking in his flannel and scuffed jeans carefully. If his scruffy converse and cheap clothing – clothing that matched the rest of the freak's attire – told me anything, it was that this guy was in the relatively same price range as the lower-middle class of the school and that he would hopefully be more down to earth than the rest of McKinley's populous. This was actually a good thing, as these sorts of people tended to deal with Kim's rages better than the jocks and cheerleaders who would only aggravate my friend more. Unfortunately, being nosy was not a good path to take in terms of Kim's heightened emotions, so I prayed that my blonde friend would be gentle with him and not tear him to pieces while punishing him for inquiring as to what she was 'so mad' about.

"None of your business," Kim's tone had lowered significantly but was still hostile as she glared up at the boy, shocking me as I had half expected her to smack him simply for asking such a question. "Come on guys."

She dragged Lindsay and I towards the patio and away from the fairly nice boy, whom I briefly turned to and mouthed an apology towards. He didn't seem to be paying attention to me however, as he had his eyes fixated on my blonde friend and didn't seem to be moving anytime soon. I almost smirked, and would have actually done so if it hadn't been for the horrid situation that I was entangled in at the moment.

"Who's Wendy Franklin?" Lindsay whispered to me as soon as Kim went to go take a drink from the fountain nearby.

"A girl who sleeps around a lot," I whispered back, taking out a cigarette from my bag and digging around for my lighter with a frown on my face. "She and Daniel did some stuff a couple months ago when he and Kim were broken up."

"But it's over with her, right?" Lindsay clarified, watching me light my cigarette as soon as my hands had wrapped around the zippo.

"Well, yeah," I nodded, still keeping my voice low and hoping that Kim stayed at the fountain a little while longer. "But that's not really the point – he did stuff with her at the Laser Dome and Kim knows...so of course she's gonna be bitter about that."

Lindsay quieted with a meek expression at this statement, but it wasn't until Kim sat down next to me on the picnic bench that I realized my friend had already been on her way back. Things were silent for a bit as I automatically handed the pack of cigarettes to Kim, knowing fully well that after such a scenario she would want to have a full smoke instead of split one with me.

"So," Lindsay started after Kim had lit the cancer stick and the objects were safely back in my bag. The blonde was significantly calmer now, exhaling smoke out of her nose as she cracked her neck and ran a hand through her hair. "are you gonna go?"

"Well yeah," Kim sighed lowly, taking another drag of her cigarette. "I mean, what else am I gonna do?"

The behavior was strange – she had such biased feelings towards the Laser Dome and had just had a huge fight with Daniel in which she dumped the boy again, but she was more willing to hang out with friends and be unhappy than to stay alone. I didn't blame her – after all I would have probably made the same choices considering I had a very limited amount of actual friends, but still Kim's self-destructive choices were bound to just bite her in the butt at the end of it all.

I didn't even bother asking my friend if she and Daniel were really through this time around nor questioned her run in with the kind stranger, instead settling on waiting until the lunch bell rang so that I could escape to class and try to forget about this whole issue.

Kim didn't say a word for the rest of lunch, which was shocking coming from her considering the fact that she usually ranted about her and Daniel's fights for days after they happened until the two inevitably made up again. Lindsay seemed just as concerned as to why our friend was silent, but did not voice her concerns to me when the lunch bell rang and instead accompanied Kim to her shop class while I headed to English.

It seemed as though it was going to be a fairly regular day after that whole fiasco, but as soon as I stepped into last period Algebra Mr. Kowcheski did the awful task of reminding both Daniel and I that we were scheduled to serve detention this afternoon. Even though I didn't have anything planned for the day, this still caused a flash of panic to go through me as I realized that it wasn't just going to be Daniel and I – Kim was serving too after we had all been caught skipping class underneath the stairwell.

"Shit," I murmured as I sat down at my desk, worriedly glancing at my best friend who seemed a little pale but otherwise relatively normal. "Hey, Daniel?"

He turned to me with his brows raised in his very typical fashion, silently asking what the matter was.

"You okay?" I muttered, ignoring Kowcheski's droning from the front of the class as I was more genuinely concerned with my friend's mental state.

Daniel merely shrugged in return, waving a hand as if to suggest that we would talk about it later, before turning to the front of the classroom and actually paying attention to the lesson that our teacher was giving. I did the same after a moment, biting my lip in discomfort but trying to shake the feeling that Daniel was just trying to downplay this whole incident.

Unfortunately this feeling could not be shaken, and it continued all the way until detention when I found myself sitting in the ninth grade classroom with a handful of other delinquents, wedged in between Daniel and Kim. One of the two was doing a fabulous job at ignoring the other, whilst the angrier one was glaring venomously towards the former.

Considering the fact that this was detention and that we were forced not to do homework – I didn't understand a schooling system where kids were prohibited from using their time productively in a classroom – I was utterly bored out of my skull and trying to prepare for the moment in which Kim would lunge out of her seat and try to strangle Daniel on my other side. It was excruciatingly frustrating to hear them argue, but I hadn't expected it to be just as equally frustrating to witness them give each other the silent treatment. It was like waiting for a bomb to go off; I could feel anxiety filling me up to the brim as Kim filed her nails with more and more vigor by the second.

It was for this very reason that I was more than relieved when the teacher announced that it was the end of the forty five minute mark, and that we were free to leave and go home at this point. I was surprised to see Kim dart out the door in a furious huff, and was briefly torn as to whether or not I was to follow her or stay with Daniel at this point. Both of them clearly needed me, but I couldn't be two people at once and didn't know what to do.

"She wants to be alone," Daniel quickly helped me make a decision, rising from his seat and motioning for me to follow. "Come on, Kitty-kat – let's go get somethin' to eat."

I opened my mouth to argue, guilty about the prospect of leaving my best friend alone in the dumps, but deduced that perhaps the reason she had left in such a hurry was because she really did want to be alone and that maybe it was time to leave her be for awhile. So, with a little bit of hesitance, I followed Daniel out to the parking lot and climbed into his Trans Am, agreeing that we could stop at Galley's to pick up something to eat before relaxing at home for a bit.

* * *

The Laser Dome, in all of its funky-smelling glory, was just as lame as I had remembered it to be years ago.

When Daniel paid for our entry fees – he had been so kind as to pay the measly two dollar fare that was required for this awful night – I found myself eyeing the familiar crumbling wallpaper and pop stains on the ground that I could remember from middle school. The place clearly hadn't been refurbished in ages, yet every weekend hoards of people flooded the building to enjoy a 'metaphysical experience' that I found very difficult to understand the point of.

"Oh, by the way," Daniel piped up with a sly grin as he stopped to pick up some popcorn. "Ken's bringin' Amy tonight."

"He asked her out?" I gaped at my friend, chipping in fifty cents for a soda.

"Technically Lindsay did," Daniel shook his head. "But I asked her to after I found him watching her band practice."

"No way!" I smile lit up my face as I took my soda from the acne-ridden counter employee, congratulating my friend even though he was not present to hear it. "Go Ken! Go _Amy_!"

"Yeah," Daniel collected his popcorn and scoffed, leading me towards the auditorium where we picked our seats. "Tuba girl probably doesn't even have an ex."

"Oh, come on," I chastised as we slid into the middle row, spotting Lindsay, Nick, Ken and Amy who were relatively in the same area. "Be nice."

We both smiled and greeted our friends as we sat down, and I draped my jean jacket on the seat left of me as in efforts to save a seat for Kim. The Dome was filling up rather quickly, to my surprise, even though the show was scheduled to start in fifteen minutes. Lindsay and Nick were seated a row behind us, with an empty seat in between them as they awkwardly tried to avoid each other's gazes. Ken and Amy, on the other hand, were seated several spots to my right and were looking quite content.

"Where's Kim?" Nick leaned forward to ask Daniel as the boy in question took my soda from my hands and slurped from it without any complaint from me.

"On her way," I assured, assuming that my blonde friend was still coming and that she hadn't bailed simply because of her sour mood today. "I think."

Daniel didn't reply to any of this despite Nick's question being directed at him, seemingly ignoring the fact that anything had happened and making me raise a brow. It was one thing to be upset about the scenario like Kim had been, but to ignore that it had happened and practically pretend that the issue didn't exist was another. I wasn't sure what Daniel's ultimate goal here was – was it to ignore Kim until she receded into his imagination? Or to win her back with this awful new tactic?

I tried not to think about it as I leaned my head back and watched the lights on the ceiling, now imitating stars passing by, alongside Daniel. We were both relaxing in silence and sharing the popcorn and soda when suddenly Kim appeared out of absolutely nowhere on my left.

"Hey."

"Fucker!" I yelped slightly, jumping in my seat as I hadn't expected the girl at all. "Goddammit, Kim."

"Did I scare the shit out of you?" She smiled sweetly, and I scoffed slightly before smacking her in the leg. "By the way that's totally my top."

"Yes, as a matter of fact," I confirmed sarcastically, moving my jean jacket from the chair next to me so that she could sit down and slightly adjusting my AC/DC singlet. "You did. And it isn't your top, you dink – we stole this _together_, therefore it's _ours_."

Daniel made no move to acknowledge the girl's existence from my right side as she plopped down, and I groaned internally as I pretty much assumed he was giving her the cold shoulder. I was also forced to pry my pop out of his hands so that I could hand it to Kim, knowing fully well that Daniel wasn't going to want to touch it if she had drunken out of it but performing the gesture anyway considering the fact that he had popcorn and could do without the extra calories.

I prayed that no drama would occur as we waited for the show to start, Daniel and I continuing to share popcorn instead of soda as he continued to refuse the fizzy drink. Kim unfortunately noticed this couple minutes in to the silence, but it was only after Daniel commented that he 'didn't want his lips anywhere near what Kim had touched' that she snapped. I nearly smacked the back of Daniel's head in frustration that he allowed his spite to get to him, and then almost did the same for Kim when she leaned up out of her seat to glare at him.

"Seriously, Daniel?!" Her seashell necklace gleamed in the little light that illuminated the large room, although amongst the din of voices her own tone was drowned out. "You're such a prick. I hate you."

Although Daniel did not respond to this, I felt him tense up beside me and sighed before shaking my head in disappointment. Fighting at school was already hardly acceptable...but fighting in public? I would never live it down.

"We're done, Kim." He suddenly blurted in a tone that I had never heard him use before. He seemed almost near tears, although I would have never expected such an emotion from Daniel himself.

"What?" Kim had quieted and was now staring at him in disbelief, although I had a feeling this was sort of like the calm before the storm. "What did you just fucking say to me?"

"I said, 'we're done'," Daniel reiterated for her, still refusing to meet her eyes as he tried to remain calm. His voice wasn't a tad bit shaky this time around, leading me to believe that in the three seconds Kim had spoken my friend had gained the ability to realign his emotions. I couldn't believe what was happening; Daniel was rarely the one who broke up with Kim, and it finally seemed like this was the end for them. I didn't know what to do. "You heard me."

There was silence on either side of me, and I held my breath as I waited for the avalanche to begin.

But it didn't.

A couple seconds later, I turned to find Kim jutting her jaw out in disappointment and getting up to leave, but I couldn't find it in myself to stop her. Instead, I gave her a couple seconds to clear the isle and then gave Daniel an exasperated look, waiting until he nodded at me once before following her. The people in our isle seemed less than happy to shift so that I could get out, but I paid no heed to their grumblings and followed my blonde friend out the exit of the theater. She was making a beeline to leave the Laser Dome, I realized moments later, but I managed to stop her just in time.

"Kim!" I called, making her stop in her tracks and turn around. It was at this point that I realized there were fresh tears on her cheeks, and dutifully ignored the Dome clerk – who was the only person in the hallway at this point as the show was just on the verge of starting – to approach my friend.

"I can't do this Katherine," My friend held her sobs back, but a sniffle broke through the dam. "I just can't – he's not good for me."

I carefully wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumb, holding each side of her face as if I had the moon in my hands. She had finally cracked; Kim Kelly had pressed the 'fuck it' button on this doomed partnership, and I was fully prepared to help clean up the mess. I had anticipated this event for years and yearned for the end of my friend's pain, hoping that one day she would come to this conclusion herself and would choose what was right and healthiest for her.

"You're right," I nodded, pulling her into a hug which she collapsed into, holding the back of my shirt as she cried into my shoulder. "He's not good for you, and you're doing the right thing."

"A-all this time," She hiccuped, not pulling back and allowing her voice to become muffled. "I w-was worried about you, b-b-but -"

"But it was you that was getting hurt," I gently finished, kissing the top of her head as she raised it from my shoulder. "Oh Kim..."

"I need some time alone," She shook her head wearily, shoulders slumping in exhaustion as the weight of a heavy relationship ending barred down on her. "I have to think about some things...please, just take care of Daniel."

"I'm not picking sides," I retaliated, holding the blonde's shoulders. "I'm going to take care of both of you."

Kim looked as though she was about to argue on this, but shut her mouth and nodded her thanks as more tears escaped her eyes. Wordlessly she gave me one more tight hug – a gesture that would most likely never be seen by many as the entire school knew her to be a rough girl but truly didn't know about her soft core – before trying to give me a smile.

I watched my best friend leave, listening to her Gremlin rumble to life in the parking lot and half wishing that I could run after her if it hadn't been for her specific request to leave her alone. I sighed and turned on my heel, heading back towards the auditorium and finding myself gobsmacked when I entered.

The Dome wasn't at all lit up to be anything like Pink Floyd, in fact all I could hear was country music and all I could see was dozens of lights displaying cowboy boots, hats and guitars. A man's voice began to sing and speak over the audio, and my mouth stayed open all the way back to my seat where Daniel was actually grinning. My confusion and partial shock overran the sadness I was feeling in my heart at the moment, even though my mind was still very much focused Kim.

"What the hell is going on?" Nick began to voice his puzzlement, glaring up at the ceiling as the rest of us began to giggle. He had obviously misheard the date for the Pink Floyd showing at the Dome, and even though this entire day had been absolute shit the whole thing was rather comedic and I found my spirit rising slightly. "What happened to Floyd?!"

"That's next week, man," A guy in a cowboy hat from three rows back responded. "Tonight is Southern Rock night! Yeehaw!"

Nick's face fell, but I couldn't help myself. I began to laugh. I let the chuckles build up in my chest and then bubble out of my throat, glad that they were still existent after such awful times. I wanted to let everyone know that I was happy – heck, I wanted to laugh in Rick's face and let him know that I was happy and there wasn't a fucking thing he could do about it. At this point, Daniel was laughing too, and there was confusion from the rest of our gang.

"I don't – I don't know what happened," Nick stuttered, beginning to snicker at himself and sharing a grin with Lindsay. "It's like I'm in the Twilight Zone."

Looking around briefly to assess the status of my friends, I was taken aback when I realized that Nick and Amy's lips were locked passionately as their arms tangled themselves around each other. I tapped Daniel on the shoulder and pointed at the pair, fist pumping for Ken and silently congratulating him on his achievement. Daniel grinned like a maniac as well, even though I was fairly certain that he was still putting on a charade to pretend like he wasn't hurt from his seemingly permanent breakup with Kim.

"I'd be lying if I said this wasn't painful." Nick muttered from his seat behind me, and I felt my heart tug sympathetically for my friend before I was distracted by Daniel's hand closing over mine.

For a moment I didn't say anything, considering it was fairly normal for my best friend to perform actions like this, but after awhile Daniel broke the silence and ignored the Western music to speak to me. We had both leaned our seats back to look at the lights on the ceiling, tilting our heads together like we used to when we were younger and went 'camping' in Nick's backyard so that we could stargaze. This brought back memories, although I refrained from thinking about such old nostalgic times as I didn't want to get emotional at Laser Dome because I was thinking about the 'good old times'.

It was fair to say that the night was emotional enough already; Kim and Daniel had finally realized that the toxicity levels in their relationship had reached an all time high and finally accepted that ending things was the right way to go, and despite Kim having left in a rush of tears I knew that we would all be alright. I would talk to her and Daniel all in good time and take care of my friends, just like I had promised to do when we had created our circle back in preschool. Even though some aspects of the day had been truly terrible and I was genuinely feeling as though I wanted to hijack either Daniel or Nick's cars to go race after Kim and comfort her whilst she wept into my arms, I knew that spending time alone was what she needed from me right now and I was respectful enough to give that to her. We would all be fine in due time, and I was happy to admit that.

"Thanks for being here, Kit-kat," Daniel murmured, breaking me out of my thoughts and interlacing his fingers with mine before going off on a small rant as the silly cowboy music continued to play. "You're my best friend, you know that? I love the crap outta ya. And I don't care if you're her best friend too – you can be best friends with whoever you want. All I care about is that you're my best friend, too."

"Of course I know that," I smiled as he pecked me on the cheek, accepting the seemingly platonic gesture and content that the evening was looking up. My hopes were coming true; we would all be alright in the end. "I love you too, you big lump. You'll always be my best friend."

**A/N: I want to thank my very first reviewer, GoatEatingToilet for leaving me such a nice message and helping me out with the story. **


	14. Chapter 13 - Chokin' and Tokin'

**Chpt 13 – Chokin' and Tokin'**

**A/N: No vomiting in this chapter - GO KATHERINE! :D **

**( katherine_13/set?id=121157506) **

"What is this?" Nick leaned forward to examine the green clumps of vegetables on display in the cafeteria. It was the lunch hour, and he was already stoned out of his mind. I didn't blame him; report cards were nearing and the pressure was mounting in his household. Nick was only trying to get the fun in while he still could.

"Green spinach." The sour-looking lunch lady replied, quite familiar with Nick's lunchtime endeavors. Like any stoner, he frequently required food to quell his munchies. In fact, I was surprised that none of the cafeteria staff had slapped him silly yet. Nick could become extremely annoying when he wanted to be.

Nick nodded, moving onto the next food and ignoring Daniel and I's groans of annoyance. "And what is this?"

"That's Salisbury steak." Came her irked reply.

"What makes that different from the regular steak?" Nick questioned further, sounding like a private investigator.

"I don't know – the Salisbury sauce, I suppose. You want some?" The poor lady was exasperated. I didn't blame her for looking like a shriveled up prune; anyone who had to serve people like Nick every lunch for 365 days would have to go nuts at some point.

Hm…" Nick hesitated. I could almost envision his eyes growing redder by the second.

"Nikolai," Daniel teased. "It's time to go – let's go."

"Yeah, Nick – Christ, come on." I rolled my eyes and shoved his shoulder, but he ignored me in favor of continuing his charade with the poor old lunch lady. I almost wanted to reach across the countertop and give her a massive hug for having to deal with us crappy kids. We were loud, smelly, noisy, and didn't appreciate half the efforts that the cafeteria staff went to when it came to delivering our food on time.

"You know," Nick went on. "I always noticed that the day after we have Salisbury steak, we always have hamburgers. But then the day after that we always have meatball heroes. And a few days after that we have meatloaf. So is it the same meat? Are you guys recycling the meat?"

"It's different meat." Her voice was flat, with no trace of humor and no shred of patience left in her. Even I was getting tired of Nick's meat analysis. Who cared if they were recycling the meat? Half of us dumped it in the trash, anyway.

"I guess you would have to say that, right?" Nick nodded his head in disapproval, and I found myself rolling my eyes again. Sometimes I could just tell if it was going to be an eye-rolling day or not. Today was definitely turning out positive. Finally, Nick made a 'daring' choice.

"I'll have the Salisbury steak, please." His lips curved into a smirk, and I was glad to see that after that whole mockery he still retained his manners.

"Excellent choice, sir." The lunch lady's sarcasm shone through her dreary blockade, and I found myself grinning. It was nice to see that there was some amount of humanity left in her.

"Alright, yum yum. Some Salisbury dog meat for us, please." Daniel spoke up for the both of us once Nick had made his purchase and went off to grab a table in the crowded cafeteria. The lunch lady gave Daniel a glare and dumped the crap onto our plates, any scrap of tolerance on her face gone. It was scary how fast people could go back and forth, and how sometimes you thought you saw something in someone for a minute, but the next it had totally vanished.

Daniel and I neared the cashier, and I had hoped to get away with only putting some bread and steak on my plate, but Daniel caught me before he paid for us. I was always broke. And hungry.

"Hey, Katherine – no, look; you…no." He shook his head and shoved me back in the direction of the food, pointing at my plate. "Go get something else, I – anything else."

"Wh -" I gave him a look, spreading my arm out slightly. I had never realized my irrational fear of food went this far. I was literally scared to get back in the lunch line and go pick up more food. I didn't want to put more on my plate because I was scared that I was going to eat it. It was about self-control and deciding what to do before you put yourself in a situation where you could potentially lose your control. This was the extent of my eating disorder.

"Come on." Daniel tugged my arm, his voice turning soft. Sometimes Daniel's demeanor would change; his voice would get softer, and he would all around become a kinder person towards anyone and everyone who needed assistance. He understood. I always thought that if you wanted to know what a man was like, you should take a good look at how he treated his inferiors, not his equals.

I wouldn't exactly refer to myself as an inferior, but I was most certainly unstable. Daniel once again assumed the position of the good friend, bless him, and led me back into the lunch line – straight towards the vegetables. The lunch lady didn't look too pleased to see us back, but once he ordered the spinach I could see she was glad to give it away. Once the shlop was lowered onto my plate, Daniel and I headed back towards the cashier.

"Okay, look. That stuff's got loads of vitamins and shit, so I want you to try an' eat it, alright?"

I gulped and stared down at the green growth, frowning with agitation. "I – I'll try." I mumbled.

"That's the spirit." Daniel clapped me on the shoulder, reverting back to his usual self. I forced a smile - which probably came out more as a grimace anyhow - and nodded. We relocated to Nick's table once having purchased our food, and he questioned us as soon as we sat down about his former girlfriend.

"What's wrong with Lindsay?" He stuffed pasta in his face, disregarding the sauce that had spilt on the floor beside him.

_Oh boy._

"I dunno man, she's crazy." Daniel replied.

Before Nick could reply, he caught sight of something in at the side of the cafeteria, and bolted to catch up with the crazy haired drug dealer. I had been smoking much less recently; partly because of the fact that I realized I couldn't bum money off of my friends every day for drugs, and also because I wasn't particularly addicted to it like Nick was. He practically relied on the stuff to get through the day, so it made sense to be that he was suffering withdrawal because of the unfortunate drought in town.

Because of this, it also made sense that he asked us if we had any pot on us the next day while we were eating. Well – while everyone else was eating. I was tucked in between Daniel and Ken, watching them finish their meal. Daniel had given up on making me try and eat today – I just wasn't feeling well and the cafeteria was serving French fries. I'd be damned if I was going to stick my hands into that greasy, salted mess.

"No." Daniel's husky tone replied.

"Cupboard is bare, man." Ken shook his head, and I copied his actions. It was true – I was clean. If Nick was in dire need of cigarettes or alcohol, however, that was one category that I could be endlessly helpful in.

"Yeah?" Nick looked hopeless. "I'm runnin' out real quick – I've been rationing all week. I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Um," I could tell that Daniel was about to go and say something sarcastic. "Not be stoned?"

Nick laughed in sarcastic disdain before straightening his face. "I'm serious – you guys don't have any pot?" It took him a couple of seconds to realize that one of his friends was holding out on him. "Hey, waittaminute Daniel – you always have pot, man!" Nick pointed a finger towards his friend, who was covering his face beside me. "Daniel, don't be a cheap bastard – I always hook you up!"

"Oh yeah?" Daniel retorted. "When was that, man? You haven't passed a joint in your life."

"Yeah? Well, it's really uncool if you guys are holding out on me."

"We're not." I muttered, meeting Nick's eyes. "I promise."

He frowned at me, and I could tell that he didn't buy it. "Fine." He pushed his chair back in frustration, and walked off muttering something about 'killing Mark'.

"Jeez." Daniel dropped his hand over the back of my chair. "The guys turning into a wastebasket."

"No kidding." Ken and I agreed.

* * *

I never envisioned myself skipping school to play basketball (of all things), but that afternoon instead of attending my Period 3 class, Nick, Lindsay and I decided to cut and head down to the basketball courts. This wasn't very usual for us – separating from the rest of the group without saying anything – but I felt safe with Nick and Lindsay there, so I shook the nerves off and tried my best to play the stupid game. I had never been good at sports; in fact the only team I'd ever participated on was the softball team in second grade. I quit when a ball decided to connect itself with my eye – the bruising took two weeks to go away. It just wasn't worth the risk anymore.

Currently, Nick was kicking both Lindsay and I's asses at hoops. He had an unfair advantage being over six feet tall, so Lindsay and I teamed up against him and eventually managed to gain one point against his whopping seven. It just wasn't fair. For a good half an hour it was like we were kids again – innocent and unaware of how painful and disgusting the world was. I wanted to go around to every child and advise them not to make the certain friends I had, or to advise their mothers against going out to bars every weekend so that they didn't find creepy abusive boyfriends. I wanted to advise all the adolescents I saw that there were things to watch out for in this cruel, hostile environment known as high school. Things that could kill you in a night, like heroin or alcohol. Or things that could kill you slowly, like cigarettes.

"Hey Nick!" I was dragged out of my thoughts by Mark's familiar voice. "The Eagle has landed!"

"Oh – I love the Eagle!" Nick smiled knowingly and immediately turned his attention away from basketball to the drugs Mark was carrying.

"It's going to be 40." I heard them mumble to each other as I continued to shoot hoops. Unlike Lindsay, I knew exactly how to act during a drug deal. If you pretended like you had no idea what was going on and that everything was normal, you were less likely to be noticed – and if you got caught, you could play the innocent. No one would be the wiser.

"See you later, man." I heard Mark leaving, and decided that I would tag along with him for the remainder of the day. I was in no mood to head back to school, and Lindsay and Nick were probably going to go back to the Andopolis household. I was in no mood to see Mr. Andopolis.

"Hey, Mark! Wait up!" I bid my farewells to Lindsay and Nick, running after my dealer. It wasn't every day that I got to interact with my school's main supplier, so I figured I take the chance.

"Katherine!" Mark waited for me at the top of the hill, and wrapped an arm around me when I got there. "How are you holdin' up?"

"Eh," I made a face and lit up a cigarette, wrapping my free arm around his waist as we ventured towards the mall. I wasn't sure where we were headed; Mark liked to roam around town looking for his customers – he never stayed in one place for a very long time. "I'm doin' just fine."

A blatant lie.

But Mark didn't care – in fact he didn't even question it, and we continued along our path towards the downtown area, carefully avoiding gang active lots and neighbourhoods where we knew stabbings had taken place. It was sad, really, that we knew this area like the back of our hands. It was sad that we didn't have to think about it – didn't even have to talk about why we switched to the other side of the sidewalk when a certain group of people came walking down the street, or why we took a certain detour to avoid a house. We just knew. We were street smart, but it was sad because it meant we had a connection with a violent area.

We arrived at the mall safe and sound, thankfully, and Mark made a beeline for the familiar head shop in the back corner of the district. I decided to head down to the flower shop, because I had spotted some beautiful lilacs that I was interested in purchasing. God knew I needed a little bit of color in my life. Unfortunately, when I arrived at the tiny florist's, I dejectedly noted that the flowers were twenty dollars plus tax, which meant they were way out of my budget. It made sense; they were wrapped and everything, and even came with their own little box. I looked down at the measly little five dollars in my hand that I had taken from my mother's purse and swallowed heavily. I wanted to cry and stomp my foot like a child. Those lilacs were beautiful – I would have known exactly where to put them; Daniel had a lovely bare windowsill, and it would have been an excellent source of sunlight for the delightful flowers.

It was really a bummer that I wasn't going to be able to purchase them, but I refused to be beat. I was going to exit this store with something beautiful in tow – and it was going to be better than any other flower in the store. I wiped a tear that had begun to fall from my left eye and took a couple steps forward to the fake flowers that lay on the counter. They were just as wonderful as all of the other flowers in the store – it was clear that this florist had particular talent. After several minutes of internal debate I picked up a magnificent blue orchid. It was stunning with its slightly darker toned insides and exquisite light blue petals that seemed to glow.

I journeyed to the cash register to make my purchase, and happily handed over my five dollars. It took me a couple minutes to realize that this was the first time I was actually proud of myself for doing something. That emotion had been very unfamiliar to me for a long time. It wasn't until I said goodbye to Mark and began to walk home that I even debated the meaning behind this flower. I figured that I had bought it because unlike regular flowers, this one lasted forever. It was plastic, yes, but someone had put great effort into it, just like a flower put great effort in to grow. I wanted to preserve that longer than the flower's lifespan. Since I couldn't freeze flowers or stop them from dying, the next best option was to buy a flower that couldn't die. What was the harm? It wouldn't die, and it was just as lovely and ornate as any other orchid. I wanted to be like the flower I had bought. I wanted to last.

My artificial orchid was a symbol of hope.

* * *

When I arrived at the Desario household it was late in the afternoon, so I tiptoed past Mr. Desario's bedroom, aware that he usually took his naps around this time. I grabbed what seemed to be a never used vase from the bottom cabinet in the kitchen and filled it with water – knowing fully well that it was all for show – then placed the flower inside and took it to Daniel's room. I positioned it exactly where I envisioned the lilacs would go; right in the middle of the windowsill.

"Perfect." I muttered, stepping back to admire my work. It really was beautiful.

Again, the feeling of pride welled up in my chest and I placed my hands on my hips, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

* * *

If there was one thing I hated, it was mornings. I detested getting up five out of the seven days a week and heading towards the hellhole that they called an 'educational facility'. But alas, this morning was different than all of the others. Today, there was something waiting for me. Just when the flower I had purchased yesterday had completely exited my mind, I turned my head towards the windowsill and my breath caught in my throat.

The blue plastic orchid was surrounded by wonderful pink petunias – real ones – that complimented my flower's blue and added an amazing splash of color to Daniel's drab room. Speaking of my friend, I rose just in time for him to walk into the room with an apple in hand. "Like 'em?"

I nodded, already started to feel a grin on my face. It wasn't usual to be happy at this estranged hour in the morning, but amidst the dreary circumstances, Daniel had managed to replace my frown with a smile.

"They're all gonna die," Daniel took three steps towards the window, pointing at the petunias. "But that one…" He turned his attention to my flower. "That one's still gonna be there when they're all dead. It's gonna live. It's gonna _survive_."

He took another loud bite out of his apple and I realized that the concept I had applied to my inorganic plant was the exact same deal. This was more than just flowers – this was Daniel and I realizing that we needed a find a way to make it in the real world. We were never going to get by like we did these final years of school. We would be considered adults and we would have to get jobs, which meant responsibilities and time and had a lot to do with money. Some of us would buy houses, which meant mortgage and debt, and some of us had the chance to start a family. It was a nerve-wracking thing to think about, but it was about time that we began to wrap our heads around the idea of 'growing up'.

If we stayed hard and rigid like the flower, unaffected by anything that got thrown at us, we could do it – we could mature.

* * *

Later in the day, I found myself in the familiar place at the back of the history classroom with my feet up on my desk, watching papers get handed back. Today was the unfortunate test return date, and I was expecting the worst. Ken and I had been completely stoned a couple weeks ago when we took the test, and Ken had been shooting spitballs at me all period long. Not that I cared, of course. My grades had gone to hell anyway. But just when I thought things couldn't get any worse in my academics, there was a glitch in the system.

"Ms. Welsh – congratulations." My history teacher placed the test paper face down and smiled at me – perhaps the first act of kindness he had ever performed in my presence. I wasn't particularly deserving of a long of people's gratitude.

My eyebrows shot up in confusion. "What?"

But the teacher was long gone; off to deliver the news of another student's pass or fail at the next desk. With shaking fingers, I slowly flipped the paper right-side-up and scanned the page. One I got to the top, my eyes bulged. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't a fluke – and I hadn't taken any drugs today. The paper that had been dropped on my desk clearly stated the mark: 'B'. I had never gotten a 'B' before – not on my art pieces, not in gym class, or math class, or any other class for that matter. Katherine Jane Welsh just did _not _receive good grades. But here, in my hands, was a test paper with a bright red 'B' on the front of it. I literally couldn't believe my own eyes. It was natural for me to jump out of my seat with tears in my eyes.

By the time I got out on the patio, I was jumping for joy. It was no wonder that Kim turned around immediately when she recognized my voice – I wasn't the type to yell or jump for anything anymore. The last time she had seen me get excited was when someone told me that they had replaced the beer inside a keg with whiskey.

"I GOT A 'B'!" I screamed, latching onto Kim and wrapping all of my limbs around her strong frame. I was so elated that I didn't even realize she could hold me up with no problem at all. It was no surprise – the last time I had weighed myself I was nearing 94 pounds. But even that thought didn't distract me. I was insanely joyous.

"Are you kidding me?!" Kim screeched, pulling me off of her to grab the sheet in my hands. The history quiz hadn't changed; the red letter was still the same, displaying itself proudly on my paper. "Oh Katherine, this is amazing!" She grinned and gave me a broad hug. Ken snatched the paper out of her hands and shook his head, chuckling. He had been absent in history, most likely because of the return of the test papers.

"Nice, Welsh." He gave me a slap on the back and passed the sheet to Nick and Lindsay, who looked it over quickly and congratulated me. Next was Daniel, who was smoking a cigarette near the trashcan. Kim called him over, making him throw out his stub and meander over to us.

"Look at this." Kim held out my test paper. Daniel took it in both hands, looking it up and down before his eyes caught the mark at the top and widened. At first I had suspicions that this would hit a raw nerve, but after a couple of seconds I knew that I had underestimated my friend once again. Daniel was ecstatic, a grin spreading over his features like wildfire. He picked me up by the waist and spun me in circles, now proudly displaying his famous smile from ear to ear.

"You're AVERAGE! KATHERINE JANE WELSH IS AVERAGE, EVERYONE!" He bellowed.

There was a collective cheer from the rest of the patio, who raised their perspective cigarettes or questionable bottles of 'pop' in the air. I raised both of my arms in recognition. This was a milestone for me. This was a memorable moment – something that I would never forget. This – this could be a passing grade. A bragging right. This was amazing. That was the only describing word.

Amazing.


	15. Chapter 14 - Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers

**'Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers'**

**(/cgi/set?id=121318384)**

**A/N: Alright, so I've got a 'Far Cry 3' reference in here for any gamers who take an interest in the series – hopefully you catch it! Enjoy! :)**

The two people that hadn't been excited about my barely passing 'B' grades were my 'parents'. My mother had been particularly adamant about how I was never going to go anywhere in life, and somewhere in his drunken torpor, Rick managed to decrease my self confidence to a new all-time-low. He had made several jabs about how I wasn't good enough anyway, and how the marking system had probably been a fluke. Several good points were made – I had to give credit where credit was due – in fact this particular mark was quite a jump from the consecutive 'C's I had received all year long. Nonetheless my ride on cloud nine had been briefly interrupted by the severe reality of that morning, and I realized that once again the outcomes I produced were never good enough.

"Come on, it's better than everything else I did this year!"

It was 9:30, and I was still caught in a heated argument with Rick about the importance of my 'B' grade. It was actually surprising – he was completely sober for the first time in weeks, and I had been reminded that he was as much of an asshole drunk as he was sober. My mother was still passed out after a late night with an expensive bottle of imported scotch, and either way she had been expelled from the equation of 'rational conversation' in this household anyway.

"No it's not," Rick whined, stabbing at his soggy eggs with a knife. It didn't disturb me in the slightest that he had decided to eat his meal completely forkless. "You're a fucking idiot, Kathy. 'B' means dumb – 'A' is smart. And you know what 'C' means? 'C' is the worst of the worst – you're gonna end up like your mother. So no matter what, you're still dumb."

At first I was fascinated because this was the longest string of words to ever come out of Rick's mouth without vomit trailing behind it, but I then came to my senses and fully acknowledged what he had just divulged.

"Shut the fuck up." I hissed, slapping my unfinished toast down and glaring at him.

At first Rick didn't respond, which surprised me even further.

"You hear me, ass butt?" I didn't even have time to backtrack on my strange insult.

"Yeah." Rick grunted, flipping through the newspaper whilst gobbling down the rest of his eggs. Those dishes would only join the ever-growing pile in the sink, which I occasionally tended to when I made the risky decision to stay the night in my house. Speaking of messes, my mother had made what she believed to be a 'responsible decision' and dedicated one room in the entire house to garbage. Everything that we didn't toss to the curb ended up in there – it was mainly memorabilia that she was too fond to part with along with some of Rick's 'valuables' tossed in here and there.

I called it the pit.

"You know kid," Rick stood up, and my fight or flight kicked in. My brain had adapted to moving my body when situations like this arose – it was accustomed to moving away from the threat zone and grabbing any object nearby. Unfortunately, the spatula that I had grown so fond of wasn't sitting in the same place I remembered it to be last night. It was in the sink, along with the rest of the soapy dishes. "I've never liked you. And I don't intend to start anytime soon."

His six-foot frame neared my 5'4 one, and I decided that it was pretty much time I stood my ground. I had never fought fair with Rick before – but it seemed like an appropriate time to start if I was intending on getting to school for lunch.

"C'mere, you li'l cunt." He finally swung, and instead of his fist hitting my face I managed to duck in time for it to go crashing into the cabinet. As soon as his skin made contact with the wood, I heard the sickening crunch of what would have been my jaw, but instead was cheap lumber used for our cupboards. But paying attention to this detail left me extremely vulnerable, and Rick took the opportunity to swing again. This time, there was no sickening crunch (thank the Lord), but there were black spots in my eyes and I reeled over the countertop, clutching my jaw. He swung again, connecting with my side of my torso.

Crying out in pain but refusing to admit defeat, I stumbled to my feet and tried my best to avoid his furious wrath. He swung twice more, both which I managed to avoid. It wasn't like Rick made it discreet when he was intent on abuse, which made avoiding his instances a lot easier. One of his punches flew into midair, and the other one stuck itself in the side of the fridge. He cried out in pain and held his hand, which I noted had begun to bleed quite heavily. I didn't care. I grabbed the teapot that was sitting on the opposite counter – it had no current or future use to us anyhow – and mustered whatever strength I had left to throw it at the imminent, lumbering oaf of a threat. The pot hit Rick's chest frame, covered in a leather jacket, and crackled into millions of tiny pieces. I had never thrown something that had broken so easily, and I wasn't sure if it was my 'brute strength' or Rick's chest. I was partially convinced it was the latter.

"Nice try, pumpkin. Come on, gimme what'cha got."

I gave him a sinister smile, picking up one of the dishes in the sink. This time, his own laziness was going to be his downfall. The bountiful amount of dishes in the sink could buy me a couple of minutes of Rick's unconsciousness to hitch a ride to school. "I said I'd fight back. I didn't say that I'd fight fair."

I whipped the plate at his face, and this time when it collided instead of breaking, it made a dull 'thunk' and dropped to the floor, where it proceeded to shatter. Rick didn't seem affected in the slightest, besides a small red spot that appeared on the corner of his forehead and the downwards bending of his frown. My face, on the other hand, was beginning to swell. I could feel the blood on my jack already from the impact of his hit with the rings, and my ribcage was screaming in pain.

For the final punch coming my way, Rick managed to strike me in the eye, and I was convinced that it was going to be lights out – it wasn't the first time that he had knocked me out cold and it wouldn't have been the last. Unfortunately, putting me out of my misery didn't seem to be on the menu this morning. Instead he pushed me back flat on my ass and backwards a few feet. I cried out in pain, holding my eye. He had at least been merciful enough to hit me with his ring-less hand.

I growled, grabbed another dish, and this time didn't wait for the reaction.

* * *

When I finally got to school, Kim occupied herself with the immediate task of covering me up before I was exposed to any 'concerned' teachers or students. Not that anyone cared anyhow, but both Kim and I ignored that fact and powdered my face up as much as possible.

"Oh Kathy. Why does he wear so many rings?" She grimaced and tried to pat around my puffed up face.

"I don't know." I whined, settling on telling people yet again that I had ran into another door.

"Well, that's the best I can do." Kim pushed me in front of the mirror, and I sighed as I took head of the injuries that were so obvious on my face.

"Thanks." I managed a small smile and accepted that this was the best I was going to get. Kim returned the gesture and excused herself to class.

I decided that French class wasn't worth my time, and decided to hang around the patio for the rest of first period. I had surprisingly made it before lunch, which was the original goal. I deserved a pat on the back for that one. When Rick decided he wanted a 'fair' fight, it usually took the whole morning. I'd be lucky to even get a hit in before second period, and it was a miracle every time I made it out the door by the time lunch started. I was never an early bird, so waking up before either of my parents wasn't technically an option. Everyday it made more and more sense why I spent more time at my friend's houses than mine, but even if those environments were somewhat safer than mine, I couldn't bring myself to constantly be asking to stay there. It was rude and a classic situation of exploitation. I felt horrible.

"Welsh!" Nick's voice rang out from the corner of the patio, and I lit up a cigarette whilst meandering over towards his general direction. "How's the little fireball – oh shit!" Nick stopped mid-sentence upon glancing at my face , and a couple of the other kids in the bleachers turned at his exclamation. I slapped him hard on the chest.

"Shut up." I hissed, taking a very long drag of my cigarette and exhaling it away from him.

"That's – that's not…that's not normal – was he wearing a ring again?!" Nick cupped my face as gently as possible. "Katherine, you've gotta see a doctor!"

"Christ on a cracker, Nicholas! Shut your trap before I shut it for you!" I snapped, hitting him again twice for good measure and pulling my face away from his hand. "And for your information, I walked into a goddamned door."

Nick regarded me wearily, before sitting down and sighing. I joined him with a suppressed breath of my own, glaring at the other kids on the patio. They turned away, fully aware of my situation. After all, it wasn't too hard for these types of kids to figure it out. Nick grabbed a newspaper that was sitting on the edge of the picnic table and began to read an article out loud. Reading was something that he had picked up on recently, but it mostly came in the form of strange movie reviews that he narrated with awful accents or serious articles about 'potentially earth shattering' political movements. It got boring pretty fast, but – and I cringed at the irony of the fact – I was used to the same things happening over and over again while I waited for them to make a difference. I considered that to be the definition of insanity; repeating the same things over and over again expecting shit to change. It was a dangerous cycle that I myself and countless other mindless zombies had trapped themselves into. Before I knew it, Nick had read half the newspaper, I had smoked three cigarettes, and the lunch bell was ringing. With another heavy sigh, I lifted myself to my feet and cringed in agony. Nick, with his large frame and heavy hands, came to my rescue and helped me to my feet. With a couple more comments about my weight and invisible bruises, he and I made our way to the lunchroom.

"Guys!" I recognized Daniel's voice, and Nick led me towards the table. I thought I had been doing fairly well for a person who didn't have 20/20 vision in their left eye.

"So what's the deal with you and this guitar?" Daniel began to speak, seemingly intent on having a good conversation while Nick opened his guitar case he had been lugging around. I found it strange that he had been carrying the thing places considering he had never played a chord in his life, but I decided to let him lead his own life and refocused my attention on the task at hand; avoiding any sort of sympathy whatsoever. Daniel hadn't laid eyes on my face yet, but by the way Ken was looking at me, things were going to get ugly fairly quickly.

"So Katherine, you mind telling us what happened to your face?"

I glared at Ken with the coolest look I could muster, making a mental note to get him back as soon as possible. It wasn't like I had a chance of avoiding Daniel's gaze for the entire lunch period – but I had at least hoped that he didn't notice until we were in a less crowded area. Daniel wasn't a stranger to making scenes, and recently he had been extremely adamant about Rick's abuse towards me. His anger was for a righteous cause, but it wasn't his place to arrest or report Rick. That job was going to me mine when the time came. Three sets of eyes flickered towards Daniel to gauge his reaction.

"Katherine." He cleared his throat once, speaking very calmly. "What the hell is on your fucking face?"

I covered my eyes and drooped my head down on the table. There were two ways that Daniel led an argument; calm and collected (which I found incredibly annoying because 98% of the time he was correct about what he said) or angry and annoying (I preferred him angry because he was easy to calm and most of the time wrong about what he was saying).

"I ran into a door again, and -"

"That's bullshit!" Daniel hissed, staring me down for five seconds and then getting up to leave the table. We watched him go collect two tray tables stacked with food. Today was chicken fingers and fries with extra ketchup – something that I detested but the rest of the school praised.

Daniel came back and slammed the tray down on our table, pushing one towards Nick and I. "If you don't eat," He began. "I'm going straight to Rosso's office."

I glared up at him with pleading eyes, but he wasn't relenting. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, shaking it out when I realized that I had pulled a huge clump of it out. Daniel sighed and rubbed at his eyes.

"Your hair's fallin' out, Welsh." Ken commented.

"I know!" I snapped, grabbing a fry and stuffing it in my face. I was hoping that they would carry one normal conversation and wouldn't notice my crafty tactic, but they had grown clever. That was how I knew that they cared about me. They wouldn't let me die. They were family.

"You have to eat more than one, Kathy." Daniel smirked with a snarky tone. I made a face and uncrossed my arms to grab a handful to shove in my mouth again. "There ya go."

Finally, they turned their attention to the upcoming 'The Who' concert. Nick mentioned some song about Lindsay, and Daniel brought up his cousin Floyd's bus that he had won at a city auction. He was planning on taking us all on it, along with a barbeque. Nick then began an awful rendition of 'Halleluiah', which ended in Daniel singing with a corndog and

"Hey, Coco!" Mr. Kowcheski broke up our musical number. "This isn't the cafeteria from fame. Uncle! Uncle!" He teased, gripping his coffee mug in his hand as he strode away.

"Who the hell's Coco?" Nick spread his arms, unfazed in the slightest.

"She's that hot chick who took her shirt off in the movie." Daniel informed him.

"Oh yeah, that was sweet man!" Ken agreed, leaning forward on his elbows. I rolled my eyes and surprised myself by grabbing another fry. Out of the corner of my eye I witnessed Ken smile at my slight increase in appetite.

* * *

I found myself in a similar position the next day; explaining to Lindsay why half of my face was bruised while my other friends encouraged me to shove the food down my throat. Today I wasn't having any of it.

"- and he was wearing rings, so -" I tried to finish explaining my story to Lindsay while Ken pushed overcooked lasagna on my cheek. "God Ken – you suck!" I slapped a huge portion of the lasagna on his head, making him recoil and keen in laughter while Daniel helped clean him up. I finished explaining my sob story to Lindsay and everything was quiet for a couple of minutes before Kim spoke. There had been something off about her today.

"Guys," She finally began. "I killed Milly's dog."

Daniel stared at her strangely in between chews, as if even he couldn't believe that his girlfriend had murdered an innocent creature.

"Like…like with your bare hands?" Ken lifted his paws up as if to imitate the crime scene.

"No." Kim looked down, suddenly sullen. "I ran it over."

"Oh." Daniel nodded. "You're pretty sick."

"I didn't do it on purpose, doofus." Kim really looked guilty about it. I felt sorry for her – although I had strange fantasies about killing Rick in his sleep sometimes, I never wanted to blood of a murdered animal on my hands. That was something that I could never forgive myself for.

"Yeah, it was an accident." Lindsay agreed.

"Well I always say: 'Girl plus car equals dead animal."

"True." Daniel agreed, waving a chocolate bar in the air.

"_That_," I pointed my finger at Ken. "Is sexist. Don't be an ass butt."

"Ass but?" Ken quoted, a grin forming on his face as well as mine.

"Yeah, you heard me. Ass butt." I leaned forward in my chair.

"Did you just call me an -"

"We have to tell Milly." Lindsay interrupted our tiny quarrel by confronting Kim.

"Why?" Our blonde friend questioned. "It's not gonna bring her dog back, Lindsay. It'll just upset her more."

"It – it's not like you killed a human being. It's just a dog." Ken deadpanned.

Kim retaliated with a blank stare. "That's even worse, Ken. I love dogs."

She sort of had a point there. Human beings were animals too, although dogs and cats and other organisms didn't exactly overpopulate and control the planet like we did.

"Why? Dogs suck. They're stupid, and they smell – and they're ugly – y'know they don't even like us people. They pretend to, but they're just kissin' our asses so we'll feed 'em. I ain't buyin' into that hoodwink."

"Oh man, Lindsay, look." We had all ignored Ken hypothetical theory to stare at Milly, who was sitting alone at the lunch table and barely touching her food.

"Oh god, poor Milly. She's just…sitting there – by herself."

The sad image of Milly sitting alone at the cafeteria picking at her meal was the icing on top of the cake, and I had a feeling that Kim wouldn't last holding this secret for very long.

* * *

"Yeah, I've got a trig test tomorrow I need to study for." Lindsay groaned, dumping more things into her locker.

"Oh," I stared down at my feet, the feeling of shame and stupidity creeping up inside of me again. The bruising, reminders of my inability to make anybody proud, had grown even more apparent on my face. Kim and I had taken extra measures this morning from our concealer reserves, but there was no hiding the true ugliness of my wounds. "Yeah – trig test."

"Hey Lindsay! Your old man make his mind up yet about the concert?" Kim was fast approaching with Milly in tow. She had been pretty adamant about introducing Milly into our social circle since the guilt of running over her dog had taken over. Unfortunately, Milly still had no clue. It wasn't my place to let her know, so I shut my mouth as per usual. But it was painful to see the girls who had caused to much pain to Milly try and befriend her in such an obvious way for reasons no one but them could see. Sometimes I hated knowledge.

"Nah, but count me in – he's just makin' me sweat it." Lindsay laughed, pulling another book out of her locker.

"Hey, after school Kim and I are going to the record store – you guys wanna come?"

Lindsay did a double take, but I couldn't find it in myself to be surprised, and shook my head. "I don't own a turntable."

"Uh – what?" Lindsay apparently needed clarification.

"I'm gonna buy some 'Who' albums so I can sing along to the concert!" Milly smiled, and I was glad to see that the girl was excited about something other than math for once in her life.

"You're going to the 'Who' concert? Milly, what about your parents?!" Lindsay most definitely sounded shocked.

"Y'know, ever since my dog died they've been letting me to anything."

I didn't really understand what was so strange about it – it was obvious that Milly was grieving from the loss of her dog, and was using it as an excuse to go off the rails and follow in Lindsay's footsteps. It mirrored the situation with Lindsay's grandmother, besides the fact that Lindsay and Milly were very different personalities. Milly seemed like a very easily persuaded person, and these types of 'do-gooders' and extremely religious types generally didn't like run-ins with the law or freaks like us. Then again, it was only a matter of how far a person could be pushed. Everyone had a breaking point – that was a scientific fact that I had learned a very long time ago.

"Well, I'm gonna go home and study for my trig test. Right, Milly? Don't you…think you should study?"

At the second mention of the test I felt my stomach lurch, and I covered my mouth with wide eyes as the gags started up. Milly looked past Lindsay to me with worried eyes. Lindsay turned around at her reaction just in time to see me hurl into the trashcan.

"Oh, Katherine." Was it just me, or did every time someone said my name it sounded like the most pitiful, sympathetic thing to come out of their mouths? I hated feeling like the charity case, or the girl that everyone felt 'sorry' for. Sure, sympathy was great, but there was no benefit. When people looked at you sorrowfully in the halls because of the bruises but didn't say anything, it had no affect on your life whatsoever. This was the ugly side to sympathy – all emotion and no action. I hated it.

Lindsay tugged my hair back as I vomited once more, and I was thankful as my stomach settled again. I proceeded to the drinking fountain as my friends resumed normal conversation. It was sad, really – how my anxious vomiting was a completely normal thing. I swore only the middle school kids stopped to watch me throw up half the time. Even the teachers had stopped caring. To them, it was another nurse's slip they knew wouldn't get returned. As long as they got my sick ass out of the classroom on time, I meant no more than dog shit to them.

"Oh yeah," Milly cast me another worried glance before replying to Lindsay's previous question about the test. "That's right…I forgot about that."

"Well, y'know what," Kim intercepted. "Blow it off! You're in mourning; you can't be excepted to do homework."

And, just as I predicted, Milly agreed and her opinion was easily shifted. Just like the freakin' wind. "Good point," Milly noted, turning back to Lindsay. "I guess I'm gonna blow it off. Oh my god – I'm so bad!"

"Alright," Kim laughed, backing up to head to class and pulling me along. "I'll meet you out front right after school, and we'll go to the mall. And you're gonna wear your big coat, right? The one with the pockets?"

Milly nodded, and Kim dragged me away to class, our arms wrapped around each other shoulder's. "Okay, see ya Linds!"

Later the same day, Kim and I found ourselves in the alcove behind the stairs in between classes, frantically copying off of Ken's notes.

"I can't fucking read this," I droned. "Ken's writing is nuts."

Before Kim could respond, Lindsay showed up. "Kim! Katherine!"

"Oh, hey Lindsay! Do us a favor – give this to Ken." She handed off the sheet of notes that I had finished copying at the last second.

"You're copying _Ken's_ homework?" Lindsay seemed extremely disappointed.

"_Attempting _to." Kim corrected.

"He writes like a mental patient!" I whined, shutting my finished copy in my bag and burying my hands in my jacket pockets. I was craving my nicotine and had misplaced my carton of smokes this morning. While I was searching for my cigarettes, Lindsay once again brought up the subject of releasing the truth to Milly about her dog. Kim, of course, retaliated. But Lindsay, being herself – a sometimes honest and sometimes scheming person – pushed. Kim questioned, and Lindsay justified. Kim degraded, and Lindsay praised.

"She's gonna wind up getting into trouble." My rational friend persisted.

"Why, 'cause she's hanging out with us?" I could sense that this conversation was going to turn brutal very quickly, so I made sure not to get involved and put myself to work by searching my bag inside out for my smokes.

"Well, what's the difference?" Lindsay half snorted. "You're only hanging out with her because you feel guilty."

"No I'm not!" Kim grew defensive. Once again, it was your classic seesaw. "She's kinda funny!"

"Yeah, but – you don't know Milly!" Lindsay switched tactics, choosing social norms. "She's really smart, and she loves church – and she loves her family a lot -"

"And what?" Kim stood up, growing frustrated. "We're scum?"

"Yes." I replied, voice monotone without making eye contact. I didn't know about them, but I for one, considered myself the lowest of the low, and I didn't care who knew.

Lindsay began to backpedal, watching Kim's anger growing. "No – that's not what I'm saying -"

"Well, what _are _you saying, Lindsay?" That was a good question.

"I just don't think we should interfere with her life!" Lindsay blurted.

"Y'know, what are you so worried about anyways y'know that Milly's gonna start hanging out with us and you're not gonna have anyone to run to when you get scared of your 'bad friends'?"

I stopped searching my bag and frowned. Fear was not something that I was used to striking in people. Sympathy, anger and frustration, sure – but not fear. Fear, faith, peace and love were never my strong qualities. The inner turmoil that I had stored in me could fuel a freaking rocket if I had the chance.

"Kim -" By now, Lindsay had realized that she had made a mistake – and when Kim was at this point of frustration only Daniel could backpedal that far.

"And you know what?" Kim advanced on her, and I sensed a threat coming from her end of the scale. "If you do tell her, I'll kick your ass."

My fingernails finally managed to swipe the edge of the cigarette carton I had been looking for, and I pulled it out with a triumphant grin, watching Kim stalk off. I turned to Lindsay and patted her shoulder, trying to reassure her with the fact that Kim almost never followed through with any of her threats. This, of course, was entirely false information. Lies. But wasn't that what Kim and Lindsay had been doing this entire week? Lying? I was only learning from the best.

* * *

**(katherine_welsh_14/set?id=126119527)**

"Hurry up, Welsh! I gotta shower too!" Daniel banged on the door of the bathroom as I made sure to shampoo every inch of my wet locks. My hair was never my main pride – in fact every since I had shaved part of the left side I had been afraid to show it around. But since the reception with my friends had been so lovely, I had been flipping it over to the right more often. It was nice to have positive feedback over so much negativity sometimes. The little things could really end up boosting your morale.

I turned off the tap and exited the tiny bathroom, towel wrapped firmly around my frame. I entered Daniel's room where he was gathering an army bag filled with food and 'provisions' for the concert. The barbeque was loaded onto the bus already, which was conveniently parked right outside the Desario household. Daniel's mother had been complaining about it all day.

"Welsh, you're so skinny you could dodge rain drops – I swear." Daniel pocked one of my prominent collarbones, and I edged backwards with a funny face. This weekend was supposed to be about The Who, not my weight. So while Daniel took a shower, I blasted 'Pinball Wizard' and 'Bargain', hoping that Daniel's brain would be inspired to forget about my malnourishment. It worked. When he got out of the shower he was whistling out happy tunes while I tended to my flowers on his windowsill.

Kim showed up a little while later, finding me sitting on the floor still wearing nothing but a towel, listening to records and slightly out of it. She coaxed me into my jeans and t-shirt, pulling my feet into their socks and tying up my Chuck Taylor's for me. She brushed my hair through it's tangles and combed it to one side, then grabbed a pair of Daniel's sunglasses from his dresser, handing them to me along with my cigarettes.

"Let's go, come on." She gave me a reassuring smile and offered me her hand. I cast her a worried glance.

"There'll be lot'sa people…" I mumbled.

"Yeah, but we'll all be there. If you get really nervous you can just go back in the bus, all right? Besides, we're there for the music!" She squatted down to my level. "I'll even sit on the bus with you."

"Yeah?" I smiled.

Kim nodded again. "We'll find you some dope, too. Mark's coming along – you've gotta loosen up. Come on."

She finally managed to pull me to my feet, where my low blood pressure came into play and I swayed a bit. I heard the honking out front, meaning Daniel was ready to go. I smiled and linked my arm with Kim's, a smile already taking over my face.

Daniel had done an interesting job with the bus – it wasn't your typical school bus; yellow and decorated and shit – it was blue and had 'The Who' tapestry scribbled all over it. The inside was fairly clean, and several bags/articles of clothing were lying around to give it a homey sort of feeling. Kim decided to change her shirt once we were situated in the meeting area, so I waited with her on the bus while Nick, Ken and Daniel unloaded the grill and began to barbeque. We had decided to meet the rest of our crew at a park in a generally tolerant neighbourhood, and drive up to the concert around 7:00. It was 5:30 at the moment, and I could already smell the hotdogs.

"Hey!" Kim greeted our newly arrived friend as we exited the bus. I waved and smiled; sunglasses perched high on my head.

"How do you like the bus?" Daniel pointed to the big blue vehicle, a bottle of beer in one hand and grill tongs in the other.

"Wow!" Lindsay exclaimed, jumping back a bit from the charcoal grill's fire. "It's amazing!"

I grinned and grabbed a beer, stepping back to view our little entourage. Counting all of the freaks including myself, there was Nick, Daniel, Ken, Kim, Lindsay, Mark, the new so-called addition Milly (for god knew how long), Stoker, Jack, Samantha, Alan and Sally. It was a good bunch of kids, but we were expecting a couple more around 6:30-ish.

"Hey Kathy!" Daniel grabbed my attention just as I was lighting a cigarette. I was looking forward to winding down a little bit – hopefully sitting back and sharing interesting conversation whilst I downed a cool beer and finished my cigarette, but Daniel wanted to teach me how to barbeque. "C'mere – you gotta learn how to make food."

"You think I'm gonna eat that crap?" I made a face, but came closer to the charcoal grill.

"Come on – I'm gonna teach you how to cook." Daniel snapped his tongue and explained to me how to keep the grill clean while I finished my cigarette. He didn't want me potentially exploding anything.

"Alright, so the first thing to remember is how to turn the dang thing off and on. You put fire and coals in there to get it hot, and then you've got the grill. It cooks fast and you wanna let the meat sit for five minutes after you pull it out." He handed me the tongs, and I made another uncertain face. "Come on, turn the dogs over."

I flipped the sausages gingerly, pleased to find that I hadn't burned them.

"And when you put it out, you can use sand or water, or just close the lid. No oxygen; no flame. And be careful not to burn anything – dang it." He chastised.

"Lighten up. I'm no chef." I grumbled, taking a giant swig of my beer while I flipped over another hot dog. Daniel snorted and ruffled my hair, heading off to find Kim.

"Ken - is this one ready?" I called for aid. I didn't trust myself alone with fire.

He came over to examine the status of the finished hot dogs. "Yeah, those ones are okay." He pointed to the two at the very left end of the grill. I nodded and pulled them out, handing Ken one of the already plated hot dogs that had been sitting for a while.

"Look at you, cookin' hot dogs 'n' shit." Ken patted me on the top of the head.

"Yeah, Maybe you'll actually eat 'em for a change." Nick laughed from several feet away, still strumming awful chords on the guitar and blocking the soothing sound of The Who playing in the background.

"Nick – you're never gonna be the next Jimmy Page. Give it up and let me listen to 'Bobba O'Reilly' in peace." I lowered my sunglasses and pointed my tongs towards my instrument-welding friend. He gave me a certain rude gesture involving his middle finger before putting his guitar aside – with the promise of quieting down – and grabbing a hot dog.

Suddenly, there was a shout of 'Milly!', and we all looked towards a clean cut car that had stopped with a woman outside of it. She seemed rather conservative, and it was only when Milly rushed towards the woman that I connected the dots. This woman was her mother – and she didn't look happy at all. I flipped more hot dogs while they shared seemingly tense words, and within a little while we heard Milly exclaim for her mother to 'leave her alone'. Apparently, this prompted Mark to shout exclamations of approval towards our newest recruit.

"What a mouth on that chick!" He grinned, taking another swig of his beer. "That's it – you tell mamma! Tell her how it is!"

"Mark – if you don't shut up I'm going to throw your hot dog at you!" I found his opinions on Milly annoying, and quite frankly any comment that he made of late seemed sexist, derogatory, or flat out insulting. Perhaps he had been growing a different kind of marijuana – but whatever strands they were – they were making him more obnoxious than usual.

"Oh come on!" He leaned back to stick his tongue out at me from his spot on the hood of the bus, and I clamped my tongs at him. "I'm great! I'm _so _lovely!"

"No – you're awful! And the customer is always right! You wanna lose my business?!" I scolded, sticking my tongue right back out at him. "I recently came into some money and I intend on spending it."

"Yeah?" Mark hopped down from his spot and came over to the grill, pulling out a couple of grams. "How much you want?"

I didn't want to splurge all at once, so I bought a safe 5 grams and pocketed it, reminding myself to roll them before 7:00. By now it was around 6:15, and several more freaks had shown up to add to our pack. I was greeted by Leslie, a fellow French classmate who skipped just as often as I did, and I found myself manning the grill until Daniel got concerned that I wasn't cooking them well enough.

"Oh come on – five more minutes! Can't I at least pretend that I know what I'm doing?!" I whined, grasping for the tongs that he held out of my reach.

"Nope," Daniel swatted me away. "Not when you're servin' raw meat."

"It wasn't _that _bad," I sniffed. "It was just slightly undercooked."

Daniel laughed, patting me once on the cheek that wasn't bruised. "Go get a beer, Kath."

I scrunched up my nose and finished my first beer, picking up a second from the cooler inside the bus and then heading towards Nick and Lindsay. I sat on the curb, lighting a cigarette and challenging myself to downing as much of my beer as possible in five minutes. I managed to finish a good ¾ - an impressive feat even for my records. I burped loudly, watching Ken smash a guitar just as Nick was about to sing his prepared love song to Lindsay. Thank goodness that effort had been halted. Nick wasn't going to go anywhere with that guitar. While Nick was busy nagging Ken about how he owed him a new guitar, Milly came to sit beside Lindsay, commenting on how sick she felt by standing up to her mother. I leaned over towards her, feeling the rush of alcohol in my bloodstream.

"Y'know," I burped again. "I punched Rick back – and it was fantastic."

MIlly didn't seem to take inspiration; in fact she just seemed a little bit confused. Lindsay clarified for her, and Milly made the connection between the bruises on my face and the violence I mentioned. "Good for you!" She smiled.

"Who wants a beer?" Daniel and Kim joined us, offering more cold alcoholic beverages. "Anybody?"

"I'll have one of those." Milly piped up.

"Alright," Daniel handed it over. "Snag it. Here ya go. Opener."

"Milly – you don't drink." Lindsay seemed to be increasingly worried about her friend as she watched her slip into the freak zone. Perhaps she was worried or scared or even jealous of the girl.

"Well," The ex-church goer sighed. "Now's a good time to start. Bottoms up!"

"I killed your dog!" Kim exclaimed from her kneeled spot in between Lindsay and I, and Milly froze, putting down her beer bottle just as she was about to take her first sip.

"What?" She hadn't seemed to register what my friend had said.

I decided to remove myself from the situation as soon as possible, picking myself up and chugging the rest of my beer, heading towards Daniel to grab my third. He caught me trying to smuggle it from under my shirt and reprimanded me about my tolerance and how 'two was enough'. He didn't notice the beer tucked into my jeans, which I managed to down just as he grabbed for it ten minutes later.

When 7:00 rolled around, several of us were drunk, and others were stoned out of their minds. Most of us, however, were waiting until we arrived at the venue to do our desired smoking. So when we got there, we were most pleased to find several others doing the same. We had parked on a hill with a fairly good view of the stage, and the masses of people below. There were outhouses that construction workers had set up, and several other buses and vehicles were set up beside us with friendly faces. It was nice – the smoke was thick, the music was good, and the people were nice. I was calm. Music had always been an important factor in my life, even if I didn't have records or a turntable – I was always using my friends' or listening to the radio or watching TV when I had the chance. My friend's were excellent at sneaking into concerts, and I enjoyed the social aspects (provided that my anxiety didn't creep up on me) of how music connected people.

So in the midst of the concert buzz, I discovered that leaning back in between Kim and Stoker, sharing a spliff and downing the last of our beers, enjoying the sweet sounds of The Who's most desired songs really was my nirvana. This was my idea of fun and relaxation. This was heaven. There was nothing else to worry about at the moment; I didn't care about graduating school when I was watching The Who live in concert. I didn't care about where my mother was when I was spending quality time with the people who actually cared about me. This was what mattered – feeding my soul and strengthening my confidence. Giving myself space and time to grow. Maturing.

"Y'know, Keith Moon used to play the bugle. And he left high school when he was 15." Stoker wrapped an arm around my and blew a smoke ring into the air, passing the joint along to me. "Look where he is now."

"Man, I was thinking of dropping out." I grimaced, taking a very long drag of the relaxing drug. Each of us (mainly Mark) had created a pot pool and donated around a gram each to share, so there was plenty to go around. "I think I'll finish. I'm almost done anyway."

"Good girl." Stoker grinned. I took another hit and passed it along to Kim, who was snuggled into Daniel's side.

"What about you? You gonna drop out?" I turned to Stoker.

"Eh," Stoker made an uncertain face. "Winston Churchill said that 'we shall neither fall nor falter; we shall not weaken or tire…give us the tools and we will finish the job."

I nodded in agreement, too out of it to comprehend what he was saying and blown away that he could remember so many words all at one time it that particular order.

"Good plan. Smart guy." I giggled.

"Yeah, I'm in it for the long haul. I don't start what I can't finish." Stoker pulling his sunglasses down on his face as the sun's setting rays beamed on our hillside. It would have even been slightly romantic if not for the masses of intoxicated teenagers and freaks in the vicinity. I was about to comment on how deep and philosophical Stoker was getting, but Daniel managed to nab my attention.

"Welsh, can you answer me?"

"Wha-?" I hadn't even realized that he had asked a question.

"Jesus, how many beers did you have?" Daniel shook his head, but I could tell that he wasn't actually angry. Daniel did that sometimes. Pretended that he was one thing when he was actually the other. Actually, come to think of it, a lot of people did that. Pretended.

"I asked why Rick did that to your face." He pointed to my visage.

"Oh," I frowned, looking at the ground. "He…uh – he didn't think my 'B' was good enough."

I thanked the Lord that I was still wearing sunglasses, because I had been really proud of that 'B'. And to have Rick tear something down that actually was worth something hurt me a lot.

"Oh – are you serious?" Kim pulled me into a hug, tearing me away from Stoker who had attached himself to Samantha's lips anyhow.

"Yeah." I sighed, lighting a cigarette and willing myself to tough this one out. I was _not _going to cry of Rick being disappointed in anything I did. Daniel still hadn't said anything. "It's just…" I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry but nonetheless feeling tears pool in my eyes. "I try really hard, y'know? Like I wanna make someone proud – I just…" I sniffled once. "I don't know what else to do."

"Katherine – listen to me." Kim gripped me by the shoulders, and I focused in on her. "You made us proud. You made yourself proud. You don't need any fucker's approval for anything, okay? You got that freaking 'B'. That's _yours. _No one can take that, or your pride, away from you."

I nodded, taking another drag of my cigarette.

She was right.

There was a certain phrase that I had heard in History class – in fact I was fairly sure that this had been my final scoring mark – the essay on Eleanor Roosevelt. She had been a strong woman; a wonderful role model and a fantastic advocate for women's rights. I only remembered writing so much of the essay – in my defense, I was stoned and Ken was being an ass – but I did remember one quote that I had included as my final closing statement.

_"Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."_


	16. Chapter 15 - Noshing and Moshing

**'Noshing and Moshing'**

** (/cgi/set?id=126183845)**

"Hey, is that Jenna Zank?" Nick handed Ken his pop bottle that he had retrieved from the other side of the store whilst we turned our heads to the scary-looking cashier. We had stopped by the corner store after school to purchase our respective fizzy drinks, but the recent discovery of a fellow delinquent outcast was rapidly recieveing attention.

"Oh yeah," We regarded her wearily. "Didn't she drop out?"

Ken scoffed with a small shake of his head. "Why would you drop out and stay in Chippewa? Crazy."

"She used to be so hot."

"She still is." Daniel raised a brow.

I made a face. Sure, Daniel's relationship with Kim was always on the rocks and he was known for scooping up girls' attention. But Jenna wasn't his type of girl. I remembered Jenna from the graffiti artwork that we used to team up to do. She would cover one side of the mailbox with offensive material whilst I decorated the other. She would keep watch while I vandalized the side of some jock's car. I would cover her while she defaced our crappy public school. Daniel didn't do those things. He had a lot of built up hate, but he never went to such lengths as to vandalize public property. It was surprising that he found a punk rocker to be so attractive. Sure, I was all for body modifications – hell, I'd even pierced my left nipple at one point – but Jenna's hair was looking like it defied gravity, sticking up like that. I had to hand it to her; it took confidence to pull something like that off, and she was rocking it.

"Yeah, if you like clowns."

"Hey," I intercepted him before his comments became any more negative. If there was one thing I hated, it was someone who didn't give you freedom to be yourself. "Let her express herself."

"Sure, sure." Ken concided as we moved towards the checkout. "But why does she have to do it like _that_?"

"Shut up." Nick rolled his eyes as our former classmate checked our items out. If she recognized us, she didn't say anything. When I placed my water on the counter and slapped two dollars down, she shot me a grin and asked me how I was doing, to which I replied that I was soggier than dog shit and didn't expect her to be doing any better in this dump with no education. We agreed to keep in touch as much as possible. Nick, Daniel, Ken and I exited the store and headed across the street to the park to shoot some hoops, but the rain quickly foiled our plans.

"Aw crap." Ken whined as we ran for cover under a tree. It was then that I noticed a large dark lump prominent underneath the tree we were heading towards. Upon further examination, my suspicions – and anxiety – arose.

"What's that?" Nick pointed towards my point of interest, and as soon as I realized that it was a big black dog, I grew even more worried. There weren't many cases of strays around here, and people were known to be extremely cruel to animals. So when an innocent creature like this beautiful full-grown Northern breed was found lying around, it wasn't just by coincidence. Something was wrong.

"Wait, stop." I instructed my friends. From the knowledge I had gained with Kim's dog, Bobo, I was well aware of the risks of the endless list of possible bigger dog's medical conditions. Although Bobo had been small, the veterinarian had always warned Kim that there was a possibility of his stomach flipping. There wasn't really any medical material on how it happened, but it was more prominent in bigger male dogs. If it wasn't treated in hours, it could kill the poor animal. "Oh god - I think he's got gastric dilatation."

"What?" Ken scrunched his face up towards me. I edged closer to the dog, looking for a collar. There was nothing.

"His stomach's flipped." My voice was growing hectic. It was a male – and he was huge. "Jesus - we gotta get him to a vet or he could die."

"Katherine, I-I can't – wait, what?" Daniel began to protest, but when his brain locked on to the possibility that the life of this suffering creature was in his hands, he and Nick carefully picked the dog up and loaded him into the car. None of us seemed to care that it was raining anymore.

Daniel revved the engine, and sped off towards the nearest veterinarian in town. The dog whimpered from the back seat occasionally, and I wanted so badly to ride in the trunk with him. I hated watching things suffer.

"Who the fuck would leave this poor thing out alone?" I hissed, cushioning the animal's head with one of Daniel's old shirts. "How could anyone do this?"

The dog dry heaved once from his heavily salivated mouth, frightening Nick in the front seat, and I found myself comparing it to when I was feeling sick some days.

"He didn't throw up, did he?" Daniel looked at me in the review mirror.

"No – it's just a symptom. Drive faster." I snapped, stressed about the poor thing in my hands.

"Katherine if we get in an accident you're flying out the back of this thing." Daniel snapped back, always concerned about the little things.

"Just drive!" I screeched, cursing the stoplight and feeling tears well in my eyes. I didn't want this dog passing out before we go to the hospital. The boys shut up, and Ken even helped me keep the canine awake while Daniel pulled in front of the veterinarian, heading inside. A few seconds later, he exited the shop with two employees in tow, both of which were balancing a stretcher between them and looked mildly concerned but used to the situation.

"We've got 'im." The taller man opened the back of the car and they worked together to lift the Newfoundlander onto the gurney. "We're takin' 'im straight to the operatin' room, alright? You're dogs gonna be jus' fine."

I hadn't realized I was crying, and didn't bother to correct the Southerner. The veterinary EMT had been blatantly lying; big dogs rarely withstood these kinds of operations, and I had no way of knowing if this poor animal had been through this horror before. I had no idea how I had remembered everything that Kim's veterinarian had told me, but I knew that animals were important to me, so I figured I would try to take care of them as best as possible. I knew that to avoid the flipping of the stomach you were supposed to avoid processed foods, kibble and keep exercise levels high as well as watch the nutrients that you were feeding your dog. Clearly, this animal's previous owner hadn't been up to date.

Nick, Ken, Daniel and I sat in the waiting room at the clinic, sullenly reading boring pamphlets and sighing at different octaves. After what seemed like eternity, Ken announced that he was heading home. He patted me once on the shoulder, shared a fist bump and a hollow goodbye, and was gone. Nick bid us farewell ten minutes later, claiming he had to go pick up from Mark. Daniel stayed with me. It was nice that he was showing adamant support for something that mattered to me.

"Ma'am?" The receptionist called to me, the only woman in the waiting area. There was another man waiting with a large cat in his cage, and a kid with a very noisy bird. "You can go see your dog now."

My eyes lit up, and I hurriedly gripped the edges of my seat to lift myself out of the uncomfortable plastic chair and into the closed off section of the clinic. I peeked around in every room until I found the familiar black mass, panting happily away on the operating table. As caring as I had been about this dog, it was unfortunate that I was probably going to have to let him go. I didn't own him, and as unfair as it was he would probably be returned to his neglectful owner.

"Alright, so I'm correct in assuming he had something heavy to eat before his stomach flipped?" The vet came in, flipping papers on her clipboard.

"I…uh -" I bit my lip and decided to tell her the truth. "I don't really know. He's not my dog."

Her green eyes flashed to mine, alarmed. "Well, who's is he?"

Both Daniel and I shrugged, explaining how we had found the animal abandoned underneath a tree stump. This prompted the vet to groan and retreat back into her office, calling for yet another medical team to put the dog under a scanner to find the embedded microchip inside of him. Most owners went through the process of installing a tiny biodegradable tracking device that linked the animal to the contact information in case the creature was lost, but mostly the devices were used to notify families that cars had unfortunately hit their cats and/or dogs. Unfortunately, in our case, the owner hadn't even gone to the trouble of inserting the 'safety' device. The dog was clear as a bone; no collar, no chip, no nothing.

"The next step would be to put him up for adoption…but those animals rarely get taken." The veterinarian explained while the dog was further examined. The Newfoundlander seemed extremely curious about everything that the EMT was analyzing him with, and he barked happily when he received a treat for good behavior. I found myself growing fonder and fonder of the animal. "They usually end up in pounds or neglected kennels."

"I'll take him." I spoke out of impulse, and even Daniel whipped his head around to stare at me strangely. A dog was a responsibility – something to take care of and nurture into old age. My life wasn't used to seeing a lot of pets, and I was in no mental state to 'take care' of anything, per se, but I wanted to take care of this animals. If there was a will, there was a way. I didn't want him to see any more neglect.

"In that case, reception will have you fill out a few forms. You're over 18, right?" She gazed at both of us suspiciously. I nodded obediently, gripping my wallet and thanking the lord that Mr. Rosso hadn't noticed us grab our fake ID's back from the bar a couple weeks ago. It was terrible living without them.

Reception put me through loads and loads of paperwork – all of which Daniel was more than happy to help me fill out, and it wasn't until they gave me a leash, a collar and my own actual dog that they asked me what I wanted to name him for the city's animal registry. Once again, I looked to my friend for support.

"How 'bout 'Boomer'?" Daniel suggested. "I mean, he barks pretty damn loud."

"Yeah, Boomer. I like that." I felt a grin spread over my face and agreed, patting the dog in between the ears while the receptionist handed me the final papers. "I wonder what his name was before."

I stuffed the registry into my bag and exited out of the building with my new beautiful dog in tow. It would be awhile before he was adjusted to my lifestyle – which I felt partially guilty for introducing him into – but I was going to make sure to give him as much love as humanly possible. In fact, as soon as Daniel pulled up into his home, the first thing I did was take his leash off and spray him down with a hose. Boomer seemed to enjoy it, barking happily and even spraying me when he decided it was time to dry off. I vaguely remembered the location of a meat shop around the corner, so while Daniel was showering I took Boomer to the shop to see if we could negotiate with them for food. They eventually took sympathy on my money-less situation and agreed to donate their scraps to his cause. It turned out Boomer was already hungry; he was twice my size leaning up on the display cases to try and reach the meat inside.

I soon discovered that walking Boomer would be no problem; he seemed to remember that it was I who had brought him to the veterinarian and out of his misery, so he followed me around with absolutely no problem. Getting him to sit, on the other hand, was a totally different story.

* * *

"Daniel! Daniel, you come back here – I need you to run to the drugstore and pick up your father's prescriptions!" Daniel's mother called to him from the doorway, putting her coat above her head to shelter her from the morning rain. Boomer and I were already loaded in the car and ready to go; I had been staying at Daniel's house a lot mainly because Kim and I's were totally off the list, Ken and Nick's father hated everybody and Lindsay never wanted anyone in a mile vicinity of her place.

"I can't ma – I gotta go to music!" Daniel whined, pulling on his jacket.

"You know I can't leave him alone – he might fall!"

"Well why don't you call Joey?" Daniel motioned to the house where his brother was sure to be found sleeping. "He's not workin'."

"Oh yeah – trust your brother with those painkillers? Never again." There was a scoff from Mrs. Desario.

"Alright, fine – I'll go afterschool! But I gotta go – I can't be late…I can't get any more tardies!" Daniel began to open the driver's seat of his car.

"I cannot wait; your father's in pain – I need you to do this now!" She pushed.

"Whaddya want me to do? I'm in high school." Boomer's black eyes looked back and forth between them like a ball was passing through each of their mouths. His panting was soothing; it reminded me that everything was going to be okay as long as I remembered to breath.

"Oh, when it's convenient for you, you are! You're 18 – you're gonna be the oldest junior in Michigan!" Mrs. Desario shot back, and I winced. That hit a nerve.

"What do you want me to do? You want me to drop out? I can bring us home a big whoppin' 250 an hour."

"You know I wouldn't turn that down." Mrs. Desario muttered, burying herself further in her coat but not giving up. "Hey, come on Daniel – what am I supposed to do here?"

"Whaddya mean 'what're you supposed to do?'" Daniel quoted angrily, finally opening the car door. "You're supposed to go inside and take care of him – I'm supposed to go to school. It's called Wednesday."

Daniel's mother sighed. All of their arguments – although not as violent as some of the ones I had witnessed and experienced in my time – were a lot about hypothetical situations. Daniel and his mother always agreed on what they _should _be doing; you know, what should have happened and what would be normal for them. But in the end they always ended up doing something that was abnormal and warped. It was sad, seeing people have the correct answer in front of them and not use it because they didn't have the time, or the resources, and therefore had to resort to a much harder path.

"Where're ya goin'?" Mrs. Desario sounded deflated, like a popped balloon you found behind your couch three weeks after a party.

"I'm gonna get the stupid pills." Daniel grumbled, clambering into the truck. He revved the engine with another angry snort, and then we were off towards the pharmacy.

In situations like these there were some things that I knew I just had to say, but I just wasn't sure what time to say them. If I said something at the wrong time, it was always very probable that someone would get slapped, but if I said something at the right time it could help calm the perspective friend down.

"I'm sorry, Daniel."

My friend shook his head, one hand going to hid head to smooth his beanie down with stress while the other stayed firmly gripping the steering wheel. His knuckles were turning white from either anger or concentration – I could never tell. "I didn't wanna go to music anyway." His voice was rough, thick and laced with an emotion that I couldn't decipher.

Boomer barked once, and then lay down in the back seat. I was drawing a blank on where I was supposed to leave him while I half-assed my courses, but I decided to deal with that problem once it arrived.

There wasn't another word shared between us as we arrived at the pharmacy, paid for the prescription, ordered another one and drove back home with the capsule. Daniel handed the prescription to his mother at the door without a peep, ignoring her calls of thanks and instead choosing to back out of the driveway as quickly as his Orange Trans Am could go. We made it to school at the end of the lunch hour, and I thanked the skies that this meant I wouldn't have to be eating today. Perhaps I could sneak Boomer some water. There was a tap on the patio that no one ever used, anyway.

"You gonna go to class?" Daniel questioned as we got out of the car, Boomer trailing behind obediently.

"Eh," I shrugged. "I have math and French – I don't think so."

"Why'd you come, then?" Daniel made a face.

"I wanted to get Boomer acquainted with everyone." I patted my buddy on the head.

"Alright," Daniel checked the hallway heading towards the patio from both directions. "Coast is clear. Don't let that dog get taken away – you hear me?"

"Aye aye, cap'n!" I mockingly saluted him and made my way towards the patio, where friendly faces and the familiar scent of smoke greeted me.

"Who's this, Welsh?" Stoker grinned at Boomer, who was already being caressed by several different people at once. "New friend?"

I nodded happily, watching Boomer enjoy himself while people took turns letting him sniff their hand. It was good for him to get to know the patio; since the teacher's never came out here or near this area and a couple of my friends were always out here, I could always head to class for just enough time to make sure that I wasn't marked late or absent, and then return to my beloved Boomer at the end of the period. He had been used to peeing in corners anyhow, so no one was bothered when his designated piss corner happened to be the furthest away from the entrance area. If he really decided he needed to take a shit, he could hop the fence and poop in peace.

"Yeah, we'll all take care of 'im!" Stoker agreed to my proposed plan, rousing a cheer from the rest of kids on the patio. "He'll be the patio dog; Boomer the patio dog."

At the end of the day everyone else dropped by, and before Kim and Lindsay reported to detention, they decorated Boomer's collar with hearts and designs, adding his name to the plain white that I had been intending to replace. It was nice – all of us taking care of one thing. Even if it took everybody, this dog was going to get a good life.

* * *

Daniel and Kim were broken up, again.

It was a vicious cycle and I wanted nothing to do with it, so when Daniel rebounded and decided to venture off to some punk rock concert with Ken and Nick, I hung back and asked Lindsay if I could stay with her the night. She responded quite positively, to my surprise, but I had a sneaking suspicion that it was because I currently wasn't sporting any signs of domestic abuse on my face.

"Come on over around 5:00. My folks are out tonight." She had told me this morning, grinning. "Boomer is more than welcome."

As it turned out, Boomer was more welcome than anyone else in the house that night. Mr. Weir and Mrs. Weir loved dogs, so they made sure that Boomer was well attended to while they were gone and I was doing my business in Lindsay's room. Lindsay, as it also turned out, had decided to go to the Schweiber's party with her family. I didn't want to intrude on their gala event, so I reassured them that I was more than happy to stay home, 'finish my homework' and 'rest'. Instead I stayed up all-night, smoking out of Lindsay's window, using the phone and enjoying frozen leftovers from the fridge. I had meant to relocate to the couch, but by the time my eyes started to droop around three AM and Boomer hopped up next to me, I couldn't find the energy inside of me to move.


	17. Chapter 16 - Smooching and Mooching

**'****Smooching and Mooching'**

**(/katherine_welsh_16/set?id=126183438)**

**A/N: I want to thank GoatEatingToilet for all of his wonderful reviews and helpful tips, as well as helping me edit the last couple chapters! Check out his story, 'Deviating From The Norm'! It's amazing and he's a very talented writer! **

I was still unsure about leaving Boomer out on the patio for the whole lunch hour, but Kim managed to drag me inside to eat something so I wouldn't collapse of organ failure. In her words, I was so thin you could 'feed me to a freaking paper shredder'. Because of this ridiculous (and not very rational) accusation, I was forced to attend lunch in the cafeteria with no nicotine in my system. Placed in front of me was the usual disgusting scene of soggy meatloaf and slightly burnt fries, along with some sort of unidentifiable vegetables at the side.

"Does anybody wanna give me a neck rub?" Nick groaned, slouched in his chair and holding a bowl of unfinished yogurt in his hand.

"Ew," A good portion of our group recoiled from him. "Nick, I can't believe you actually spent the night on Daniel's floor. His carpet is like, infested!"

I nodded in agreement, busying myself with doodling hairy penises all over Kim's pencil case. It was true; sometimes in the middle of the night I heard the strangest noises from across the room. At first, because of my paranoia, I believed it to be ghosts. But when Daniel notified me of the potential family of larvae living in the corner, I swore to never sleep on the floor again. Bugs didn't gross me out as long as they didn't come in contact with my skin.

"Better than sleepin' in my Maverick," Nick pulled a face and scoffed, looking tired. "kinda."

"You gonna go home tonight?" Lindsay questioned, fingering her beverage nervously. Now that she had become more acquainted with Nick, she understood the restrictions that one needed to put in place when holding a conversation with the burnout. Sometimes you could say anything – and most of the time Nick wouldn't understand anything. But at other times you had to be very careful and tread on eggshells, otherwise the slightest word could unbalance his day and send him into a fury.

"No." Nick's answer was firm, and he sat up a bit straighter at the mention of his household. "Not as long as that fascist is there. Hey Ken, could I stay at your house tonight, man?"

Ken raised his eyebrows slowly, pretending to think about it. "No – my dad; he'll have a conniption fit if -"

"Thanks man." Nick's tone was sarcastic.

"Y'know, he doesn't even let my grandma stay over?" Ken tried to justify. "He's got issues. Mostly because when Katherine stayed over Rick decided to break down our front door to get to her."

"I'd invite you over again, Nick – but you blew it!" Daniel licked his fingers clean. "You gotta remember to flush the toilet! My mom almost had a heart attack this morning. I oughtta punch you. Jesus, at least Kathy brings some dang flowers in my room – you just leave shit everywhere, literally. That's why she gets to stay."

Ken laughed while Kim retched silently, listening to Nick beg Daniel to shut up and not complain about plunging his fecal matter. Lindsay looked the slightest bit creeped out as Nick tried to assure her that Daniel was 'only joking'.

"Definitely don't wanna stay at your place, or Katherine's."

"Dude," I scoffed. "_I'm _not even stayed at my place."

"Yeah," he agreed with a laugh. "No."

Finally, desperate for a couch to call home that night, Nick turned to good 'ol Lindsay. She had been known to house us before, but perhaps Nick wasn't aware that a girl taking in her ex-boyfriend for a night wasn't exactly a recipe for a positive step in an otherwise ruined relationship. Despite these boundaries, he somewhat crossed the thin line and asked to sleep at her house for the night. We all turned to Lindsay, curious to see her answer.

"God, Nick – if it were up to me – sure, but…c'mon, my dad? He's way worse than Ken's dad!" She lied, and both Kim and I turned our heads away from her.

There were two lies contained in Lindsay's statement about why Nick couldn't stay over. The first lie was that her dad would have any sort of problem with her friends staying over. Sure, part of my temporary hospitable visit had been influenced by Boomer, but Nick wouldn't have any problem pretending to _not _be high for a couple of minutes while he innocently requested for a couch to sleep on for a night, right? And the second lie – Lindsay's declaration of how her father was 'way' worse than Kens – was a complete and utter fabrication. In terms of neat freaks or somewhat normal, dignified fathers, Mr. Weir was average. Mr. Miller was on a completely different level. He had 4 modes; neat freak, narc, loving husband and dirty lying rat. So far, I had seen him going strong on his neat freak and loving husband, but had also witnessed the unfortunate dirty lying rat. It was quite a sight

"Yeah, nah." Nick continued to eat his vanilla yogurt, pretending to be unfazed. "No problem."

Lindsay and I shared a glance. I didn't say anything – I understood how she didn't want Nicholas staying at her place after what had happened with them a couple months ago. It still felt awful to be lying to Nick about what her household might think of him crashing at their place. Then again, Mr. Weir wouldn't be so understanding of exactly _why_ Nick had kicked himself out of his own house. A drum set wasn't your usual reason to go house hopping – I of all people knew.

"Nice try though, Nick." Ken teased, lightening the mood.

Nick glared at his friend. "Shut up, man."

"What you shoulda done is you shoulda pretended to cry. You woulda been in if you pretended to cry."

"He's right," I smiled slyly and forced myself to swallow a fry, but only because the attention was on me now that I had spoken again. "It works like a charm."

* * *

"Boomer! C'mere boy!" Daniel beckoned my giant dog from his spot on a picnic table towards us. The canine happily obeyed, wagging his tail and bumping into me affectionately. He had grown even more comfortable with our circle of friends, getting used to the bathroom situation and knowing where he had to go to get water or food. As long as I kept him away from processed things, there was a smaller chance of his stomach flipping again. His middle aged-ness also helped in that retrospect.

We snuck out of the back entrance to the school into the parking lot, where Kim and Lindsay were waiting in her Gremlin, and Ken was already sitting on the hood of the Trans Am. I joined my two girlfriends in the car, Boomer instead choosing to hop up on the hood with Daniel. Ken patted my dog's head, and I smiled at the comfort of knowing how safe my animal was with my family. He must have felt nice being accepted – he was almost like an honorary freak dog.

"Did he try to give you a back rub?" Kim questioned to Lindsay. They already seemed to have started their own conversation, so I just tuned in and lit up.

"No."

"Well," Kim sighed, leaning back in her seat. "He will. And if he tries to give you a foot massage, run. We don't need another Alan."

I snorted, remembering just how creepy some of our friends could get. The idea and levels of 'personal space' sometimes didn't apply to our circle of acquaintances, which was concerning because half of them were single and the other half were mentally unstable. Now that I thought of it, many of us seemed to be teetering just off the edge. The Freaks had always come from broken homes – or had some sort of significant issues in their life that affected them day-to-day. Lindsay had broken that norm a long time ago, and proved that you didn't have to come from a difficult home or life environment to feel the pressures of society and social status.

"Kim – what am I gonna do?" Lindsay whined. "It's just too weird having him in my house."

"You could kick him out?" I offered halfheartedly, scratching the back of my head. I, for one, had no issue with booting someone out of the house if they got too pushy or creepy, hell – _I'd _been kicked out of places for being too pushy or creepy. Lindsay, on the other hand, felt sympathy for Nick and didn't want to turn him away even when he was being his usual strange self. _Anyone _who let Nick in their homes was taking a risk; their fridge was in grave danger for a number of hours until he left the locality.

"No – I can't do that." Lindsay bit her lip and looked down at her lap. I tossed out my finished cigarette stump.

"Well then," Kim stuck her foot out the window, relaxing a bit. "You're in for a long night."

I lit another cancer stick.

* * *

It was a day later around five o'clock, and I had just taken Boomer out for a nice long walk. He was in the mood for dinner, so we trotted off to the back of the meat shop where fresh scraps were plentiful. I selected a couple of lean pieces for him watched him finish his meal. I loved taking care of him – it made me proud when people petted him on the forehead and complimented his obedience or size or well-being. I never told anyone how I found him, because I figured if Boomer were a human being, he wouldn't have wanted to remember his lowest points and how someone had abandoned him, leaving him to die in pain. Sometimes I even believed that Boomer really understood me; I had always talked to myself a lot, but now someone (or something) was actually there to listen. I was starting to acknowledge the power of acknowledgement. As it turned out, a lot of people just needed to be listened to.

When Boomer finished his meal, he led the way back to Daniel's home and let himself right in. I could tell Daniel was home because Zeppelin was playing out loud on the turntable. Fetching myself a glass of water and Boomer a dog treat – something I had recently shoplifted from the variety store – I headed towards the sound of the music. Breaching the door, I discovered something I never thought I'd see in a million years – it was Daniel, and he was actually trying to finish his homework. Boomer wasn't helping; he had clambered on top of my friend's lap and was promptly licking his face happily. Daniel didn't seem to mind; he shoved the papers aside and wrapped Boomer in a hug.

"Who's a good boy?" Boomer 'whoofed' once, licked twice, and wagged his tail three times.

"Katherine? Daniel?"

"In here," I called, traveling towards the sound of Kim's voice. "What's up?"

"Hey," She grinned, holding her jacket in one hand. "Guess who's getting' laid tonight!"

"Oh boy," I rolled my eyes and groaned, earning a laugh from Kim. "Alright – I'm goin' over to Nicks."

Nick had moved back in with his father, opening up some options as to where I was going to stay the night. I tried not to think about how this was how I spent my life; house hopping, failing school and rescuing animals from the streets. Only one thing in that equation was positive, and it wasn't going to get me anywhere besides on the 'good Samaritans' list. And to be completely honest, that wasn't my main achievement at the moment.

I grabbed Boomer's leash from Daniel's dresser (in case Boomer decided to make a run from Nick's father – it wasn't a completely idiotic notion…Nick's father made a lot of people run from his house) and bid my friends farewell, exiting the house just in time to hear Kim squeal as Daniel tackled her onto the bed. I quickened my pace, rolling my eyes again and beckoning Boomer to follow. He needed no further encouragement, and barked as he ran ahead.

We arrived at Nick's house around six, and by that time I knew his parents were having dinner with him upstairs, most likely chewing the poor boy out for something that he wasn't responsible for. So I quietly crept around to the back of the house and used the key under the flowerpot to unlock the door leading into the basement. Nick didn't mind any of his friends crashing in his basement; he understood the appealing aspect and comfortable atmosphere of the place completely. I supposed that was why he spent so much time down here. On several occasions I had persisted that he started charging rent, but he refused on the simple fact that he didn't want to become a hotel.

Venturing over to the familiar cupboard where I remembered my belongings to be, I grabbed an oversized t-shirt and my toothbrush to get ready for a well-deserved rest. It had been a long day. In fact, come to think of it, sleeping more was a change I needed to make in my life. It was easy to underestimate the amount of sleep one needed. A good solid eight hours was hard to get with my levels of anxiety – even with Boomer warming my side. Speaking of Boomer, I poked my head around in the cupboard to see if I could find any memorabilia of Nick's for him to chew on. He liked things that squeaked, and since I didn't have any money to buy him a fancy chew toy, I had settled on stealing junk from anyone that I came across. I didn't see how it hurt anyone, and it made a very cute animal very happy for couple of days.

"You want something to eat?" Nick's voice came out of nowhere, and I snapped my head up, bumping it in the process.

"Son of a…" I winced, muttering in anger and holding the growing lump on my head. "No, I'm fine, Nick. Thanks."

"You sure?" Nick raised a brow, pulling off his own clothing to change into something more comfortable. "I didn't see you eat at lunch."

"I don't like lunch."

"You don't like any meal." Nick snorted. "Come on. I'll make popcorn."

"I'll make you a deal." I settled, strutting over to the cupboard and pulling out a bag of kernels. "I'll eat this with you if you roll me a fat one and we watch 'The Empire Strikes Back'."

"Deal!" Nick grinned, knowing fully well that there was no downside in this negotiation. With the large TV planted in the basement and plenty of Mary Jane, it was a win-win situation. Perhaps if we got high enough, I could even get away with either throwing up or not eating the popcorn at all.

* * *

The next morning was slow.

Nick and I hadn't gone to bed until around three in the morning (hypocritically ignoring my speech about the proper amount of sleep a regular human being should get each night) and although we had enjoyed ourselves thoroughly going through movie after movie, the effects of our barely-there-sleep schedule were starting to take effect. It was already nine, and I was struggling to make breakfast while Nick got ready and distracted his father. It was nice to have a little quaint kitchen in the basement – it was like a downstairs apartment that nobody really noticed.

The only thing I knew how to make was scrambled eggs, so I took the egg whites and yolks to dump in the pan, heating it and wetting the bottom with oil so that the pieces wouldn't stick. My mother had taught me the recipe back when she didn't spend the majority of her time completely tanked. With a bit of salt, pepper and vegetables, the eggs made a nutritious, low calorie, quick meal for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Nick and I gobbled down our meal and then headed to school, leaving Boomer at Daniel's house for the day with a fresh pile of meat and a bone to chew on. Daniel's mother didn't mind – she had actually grown accustomed to the Newfoundlander and his ways. Nick and I arrived at school just in time for second period, and headed off to our perspective classrooms with big grins. It helped for moral support.

Unfortunately, moral support wasn't going to help me for what would come next. I had science, which meant I was basically going to be reminded about how much of an idiot I was for 75 more minutes. One could only take so many hours of being recognized for their stupidity until they broke. It was common sense. So when the teacher called on me and asked for me to describe sensory receptors in the human body, I gave him a blank stare.

"Are you sure you don't have any idea what these are?" The teacher frowned at me. To be honest, I hadn't even bothered to learn his name. As long as I was taking the course and the proper work was being given to me, I didn't care if the freaking Pope was teaching the class.

"Yeah, I don't know." I sighed, covering half of my face with a hand. It wasn't that I was embarrassed – I had already passed that point with my failures in life. It was just that people asked me questions that they knew I didn't know the answers too. That hurt; it was cruel of them to take advantage of me in an educational environment like this one.

"You've been in this course for how long?" Some of the student's laughed at the teacher's words and demeanor, and I looked behind me at the faces. Among them, Daniel was sitting at the back slightly shaking his head. I had a feeling that he would be telling me they weren't worth listening to.

"Uh -" I returned my attention to the front and tried to answer the question.

"You don't even know the answer to that!" The teacher exploded, really getting angry. "Jesus, don't you study?! Don't you care?! I'm trying to help you! I'm trying to teach you something and you don't even look at the homework! You don't even try! It's pathetic!"

It was like hearing my parents. This teacher – this facilitator of this measly classroom with uninterested and inattentive students in an even drearier school with even more dullness and stupidity – was a carbon copy of my parents. He was insulting me, humiliating me, as well as wringing me out and hanging me out to dry in front of everyone. He didn't care – he had given up on me a long time ago. I could tell because he checked everyone's homework but mine, and he didn't say a word to me in class. Perhaps today he had had a bad day, because he had called on me after a long time of silence and then had proceeded to chew me out.

I began to cry, my brain not understanding how to process the situation. Sometimes I reached a mental block, where too many thoughts and scenarios entered my head at once and my frontal lobe didn't know what to do with my limbs. It was a very large funk that only my friends could get me out of, and I needed full support throughout the entire ordeal. A panic attack would have also been an excellent describing word for this sort of reaction.

"Oh for the love of –" The teacher raised a hand to his forehead, glaring at me whimpering and sobbing at my table. "Daniel?"

"Yes, Mr. Fischer?" Daniel's tone was cold, and several students, including myself, turned their heads in his direction. Daniel was already standing, seemingly ready to go with his hands in his pockets and a furious look on his face. He reminded me of a hardened criminal when his eyes got dark like that – it was a facial expression of someone who had seen too much for his age.

"Uh," Mr. Fischer cleared his through uncomfortably, noticing the change in Daniel's attitude towards him. "I think you know what to do best."

Daniel didn't say a word, traveling over to where I was sitting and coaxing me out of my seat, wrapping a hand around me and pulling me out of the classroom with a final scowl towards Mr. Fischer. Once we breached the hallway, Daniel handed me off to a nearby Ken, giving him instruction to send me home. I was still sobbing when I exited through the back of the academic institution, cursing my science teacher with every name under the sun. Despite Daniel and Ken's explicit instructions to go directly home, I veered towards the direction of my house, intent on raiding my parent's alcohol cabinet. I vomited on the road there, and then once again when I reached my destination. I didn't know where the heck my stomach found the food to throw up.

I grabbed a large bottle of Jameson, a halfway full imported Tanqueray and three 50mg tiny bottles of Vodka. Daniel had coca cola at home, so I would be just fine for a night of mixing at home alone. So, with the promise of a large hangover on the horizon, I cleared the tears from my face, stuffed the alcohol in my large bag and ventured back to Daniel's house.

* * *

I was utterly, absolutely, without a doubt, completely trashed.

There was nothing left besides a quarter of the Jameson, and the results of my messy drink mixing were spread everywhere. I didn't notice all this until after Daniel woke me up, claiming that I had nearly given him a heart attack by passing out on his bathroom floor. The fuzzy rug – most likely infested with the same insects that were inhabiting his bedroom – was simply too appealing for me to get up off of, so I lay there whimpering like a pathetic (just like Mr. Fischer had noted I was) dog.

Speaking of dogs, Boomer had taken to licking my face while I rolled around in my horrendous pit of nausea, making volatile noises and eventually, retching everywhere. Most of it managed to make it in the porcelain bowl, but Daniel had to come in and support my head while I tried to make it through my state of insensibility. It was like my neck had become rubber, and couldn't support the bowling ball weight of my head. Gradually, I gained more and more consciousness, and was aware of Boomer licking my leg and Daniel shaving in the mirror. I assumed from his activities that he granted me fit to vomit on my own, which I did several times. A small beep from his dresser revealed the time to be around four in the morning.

"Y'know Welsh," Daniel began to speak, finishing shaving off the last strip of hair on his lower face. "I learned somethin' about booze."

I burped loudly, causing the toilet to echo the belch into my face. I winced at the smell. "An' what's that?" I didn't believe that the alcohol had completely left my bloodstream yet, even though I'd already peed four times.

"Well, if somethin' bad happens, you drink to forget, right?" Daniel asked, turning on the tap and washing his face off.

"Uh huh." I agreed, spitting into my vomit sitting at the bottom of the ceramic bowl. .

"An if somethin' good happens, you drink to celebrate." This wasn't a question - it was a fact.

I rolled my eyes; he was trying to get metaphorical again. "Yeah, okay – so?"

"Well eventually, when nothing happens…you're just gonna drink to make somethin' happen. Don't'cha think?"

I didn't say anything, looking up at my friend who had take a very dominant stance above me; arms crossed like a disapproving parent that had come home to find a very heavily intoxicated daughter. I always recognized that Daniel had become a sort of brother-like figure in my life, and this was just going to be another brick to fortify the potency of our relationship. Even if I felt like he was mad at me; even if I was mad at him or if we were yelling at each other, nothing we could do would ever break that bond.

As Daniel left the bathroom, Boomer turned his head from his spot on the floor to lick my leg. I smiled, something that was rare to see on my face. This was how I knew keeping Boomer had been a good idea. He made me happy on days where I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.


	18. Chapter 17 - The Little Things

**'****The Little Things'**

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It was a Monday, and apparently McKinley was under extreme scrutiny from the secret service because Vice President George Bush was coming to speak. Now I, for the life of me, couldn't understand why the hell George Bush would pick some measly high school in Chippewa to come speak at. If I were he, I would have gone to a nicer area with a lot more private schools and fancy cars. It made for better scenery and less overall weirdness. McKinley was sort of known for that. I sat with Daniel, Nick and Ken in our usual hidden alcove under the stairs, which I thought was safe and secure up until one of the Vice President's cronies leaned over the banister to check us out. I didn't know what he thought we were hiding – hadn't he seen his fair share of typical high school burnouts before? We were everywhere.

"_Blues Brothers_ doin' a show in town tonight?" Ken joked, watching the intimidating men prance up the stairs.

"Nah," Daniel eyed them as well, idly flipping a page in his magazine but pausing to explain the suits' motives. "George Bush is coming to speak to the school."

Nick's mouth fell open. "The pornstar?"

"The Vice President of the United States of America…George Bush." Ken clarified sarcastically. I rolled my eyes, chewing on my gum even harder. Nick really _was _turning into a wastebasket.

"Hey guys!" Lindsay and Amy greeted us fresh from class, clutching their books and bearing large smiles. I honestly didn't know what they had to smile about on a Monday morning. The weather wasn't _that_ nice.

"What's wrong?" Ken wrapped his arm around Amy, noticing a strange expression on her face as she glanced worriedly towards Lindsay. I frowned as well, leaning forwards.

"I'm just – I'm a little nervous." Amy confessed, eyes growing wide. "I just found out we have to play '_Hail To The Chief'_ when Bush arrives. There's a lot of tuba."

"Don't worry about it, Amy. Bush probably doesn't know anything _about _the tuba."

"Yeah," Ken laughed. "I can see it now." He proceeded to give us an example of very poor tuba playing, followed by a pitiful squeak at the end, which I presumed to be the hypothetical situation of a very nervous Amy trying to play for the president.

"Shut up," Amy grinned and laughed, elbowing her boyfriend. "Stop!"

"Alright you guys come on, beat it." Our enjoyable conversation was interrupted as Mr. Kowcheski leant over the railing on the stairs. "There's no hanging out under the stairs."

"What?" Daniel immediately challenged. "Since when?"

"Since the Vice President is coming!" Our math teacher visibly grew increasingly exasperated by the second. "Come on, give me a break. The secret service wants all these areas cleared out."

We all made faces and began to file out one by one, but not without a final word from Daniel, of course. "How are we ever gonna plan our coup?"

"Don't even joke, Desario. I can get you thrown into jail just for saying that." Kowcheski pointed a stubby finger at my friend, and I stuck my tongue out from beside Nick. I didn't care that a bunch of fancy stressed henchmen were walking around doing god knows what while investigated that there weren't any bombs in our lockers. If we didn't have our sacred spots of momentary peace and quiet then there was no surviving school today.

"Coup! Coup!" Daniel continued to use the word to purposely agitate Kowcheski.

"Don't joke about it!" Nick warned him, taking the threat seriously. That was something I definitely had to start doing. Taking things seriously. The school year was almost over and I wasn't going anywhere with my life. No job, no car, no money, nothing. I was going nowhere.

* * *

"Hey girls!" I smiled towards Lindsay and Kim who grinned in return as I plopped down near the exit with them. Since our spot behind the stairs had been cleared out, per se, we had relocated to the fire exit at the end of one of the less used hallways.

"So what should I ask?" Lindsay muttered, flipping the pencil around in her hands. She had recently been appointed the task of speaking to George Bush this week, something that was going to grind her gears for the next couple of hours. It was stressful enough have the vice president here, but knowing that you had to say something to him? As a student? I would have never jumped for the chance. Lindsay, on the other hand, being the amazing reach ahead student that she was, was more than capable of handling the responsibility.

"Well," Kim began to speculate. "Ask him something really tough, y'know? Put him on the spot…what would he _not_ wanna talk about?"

Lindsay mentioned a hostage situation with Reagan, and we all agreed that it was worth jotting down.

"I bet he'd flip." Kim pointed to the sheet where Lindsay was gathering her questions on, grinning madly.

I leaned my head back against the wall and zoned out after a couple of minutes, reveling in the realization that my friends were showing just how rebellious they could get through Bush's visit. Everybody had been slightly on edge because of the secret service, but there had been an even bigger noticeable difference within my friend group. There was something about challenging someone and forcing him or her to churn in a topic that they really didn't want to sit in that was rewarding in every aspect. Although it seemed cruel to force Bush to explain certain things, he was a politician, and they were built to withstand such questioning citizens. Therefore, there was no reason why Lindsay wouldn't be able to ask Bush about Reagan's hostage plan or any other 'private' questions.

"Y'know," Lindsay laughed, bringing my out of my thought process. "My dad was saying something a couple days ago. He said that everyone's a democrat until they get a little money…and then they come to their senses."

I scoffed, standing up and preparing myself to get to class on time for once in my life. "How traditionally Republican of your father."

* * *

Once I picked up Boomer from his usual spot on the patio, I decided that we needed a little alone time to think about the rest of the afternoon. There was a slight problem at hand that I had wanted to fix for a while. So, while the sun was still somewhat high in the sky, I grabbed a tennis ball from the side of the school steps and made my way to the nearby park, dog in tow.

Several of my leftover items of clothing and whatnot were still stashed in my mother's house, in fact, I was fairly certain that I had several bottles of unfinished alcohol, leftover dope and a carton of cigarettes in a drawer somewhere. This was a problem because both of my 'parents' were in no condition to be taking any more substances, and if Rick got his grubby hands on any of my belongings he wouldn't hesitate to tear them to shreds. Unless, of course, it was the substances.

"Good boy, Boomer!" My affectionate Newfoundlander had returned the bright yellow ball right into my hands within several moments of me throwing it, granting him several pats on the head before I threw it again.

I returned to my thoughts, coming to the conclusion that I would have to stage a super secret operation to retrieve my missing items and get the hell out of my house for good. I never wanted to return as long as I lived – in fact, considering my 'parents' hadn't even called the police to report me missing over the last couple of days, I wasn't too concerned with what they were going to think. I didn't think that I _had _been concerned with their opinions for quite some time now.

After another good hour of horsing around in the park with my loving canine, I began to travel the weary, lonely road home. It was amazing having a companion alongside me, but this was a battle I was going to have to face alone. I decided that I was going to chain Boomer up at the back of the meat market so that he could have time to eat while I retrieved my items, and then pick him up once my business was done.

Unfortunately, said business was going to take longer than expected.

Upon entering my house through the front door, I was greeted with the overwhelming stench of vomit. After a couple of steps inside, it was clear that the garbage room had become the designated puking area. The entire fucking house reeked. Aware of my surroundings, I crept around the small house towards my room and grabbed a few stray lighters on the way. Once I reached my small bedroom, I heaved a sigh of relief and immediately started opening all the drawers in search of a bag. Pulling out a large military duffel that I had forgotten about, I started cramming anything inside that was in my room. The pillows, sheets, my tiny lamp, all of my stuffed animals, my leftover clothing, bottles of booze, a small stash of dope, a pack of smokes and some records were all jammed inside the army green bag. Once the pack was zipped up, I breathed a large gulp of air. It felt like I was packing up part of my life. How strange.

I had begun to think that I was in the clear, but when I opened the door, I was greeted with a very familiar six-foot tall structure. Rick.

"Fancy seein' you here, sweetheart." He grinned, bearing his ugly missing teeth and slurring slightly. "You missed yer mamma? I've been fuckin' 'er real good."

I sneered, spitting on his cheek and muttered obscenities while I tried to push past him. I should have known that he wouldn't take my shit, but I just wasn't in the mood for his crap. As soon as I had my back turned to him, I felt a tug on my hair, and before I knew it I was smacked down on the ground as if I didn't weigh a thing. To some people, these types of situations would have been extremely traumatizing. To me, it was an occurrence that was fortunately growing less and less regular.

"Burnout! You're a fuckin' piece of trash!" Rick spat and pulled me up again by the scruff of my shirt only to rear his fist back and smash it into my jaw. It was getting sort of repetitive, really. It seemed he was hell-bent on bashing my face in. I tried to raise my arms to protect myself, but his fist was already coming around for another turn. This time, when his ringed fingers connected with my left eye, he smacked me right out of his own hands. That must have captured his attention, because after a simple stomp to my stomach, he lumbered off to the kitchen.

I lay there, gasping for air and trying to test whether or not I was going to be able to see out of my left eye, and eventually managed to prop myself up against the wall in the narrow corridor. I felt some blood dripping down my swelling face, and lifted my hand to survey the damage. I soon discovered a split lip – which was actually losing blood at an alarming rate. Panicking slightly, I grabbed out of my t-shirts out of my discarded duffle bag and bundled it up against my face. I didn't want any questioned while I made my way to wherever the hell I was staying tonight. I was never going to sleep in this godforsaken place again.

So, defeated and terrified, clutching my injured stomach and face, I crept out of the window of my room – which I deeply regretted not entering through – and escaped towards Nick's house. I sincerely hoped that no other teenager would have to go through this. It was bad enough being chased out of your own house by someone that wasn't your family, but watching your own mother succumb to a drinking disorder and having to fend for yourself in an otherwise cruel world was truly sad.

It was the first time in a long while that I had felt sorry for myself.

Once I reached the meat market – only two pedestrians had bothered to ask if I was all right – I untied Boomer and switched the t-shirts on my face. He seemed to sense that there was something wrong, as he whined a fair bit, but he shut up by the time we got to Nick's street. I knew that him, Ken and Daniel were supposed to be having a boy's night, but I was far past the point of caring which gender I spent the night with. I had had a rough night and just wanted a floor to crash on.

When I walked up Nick's driveway and into the backyard, Boomer ran ahead to the entrance to the basement. I opened the latch to the door and he sprinted inside, panting loudly. I heard the surprised voices of my friends, and made my way down the steps into Nick's lair. I was relieved to find warmth, lots of space and no violence. Closing the door behind me, I threw my bag on the ground, rounded the corner and was met with the tree smiling faces of my friends, rubbing Boomer adoringly. Ken went to grab the treats from the cupboard, but stopped once he caught sight of me.

"Katherine?" His tone caught the other boy's attention, and I waved a hand while I threw my duffel bag down in the corner.

"I'm fine, trust me, I -"

"Oh, for the love of god!" I was interrupted as Daniel grabbed me by the shoulders and tugged me into the bathroom, ripping the shirt out of my hands and holding me over the sink. The blood flow had stopped, but not by much. It was dripping like a nosebleed. "Nick, get your first aid kit. Kathy, can you see?"

I nodded feverously, aware that I was regaining my vision in my left eye. I certainly wasn't opposed to being taken care of in these circumstances. Boomer was whimpering again, and Ken was coaxing him to some fresh water and treats.

"Jesus, this might need stitches." Daniel pulled me up and examined my closer, grabbing the first aid kit that was handed to him and setting me on the closed toilet seat.

"If you bring me to the ER," I muttered, flinching as Daniel gently rubbed polysporin on my eyelid. "I will skin you and turn you into shoes."

My friend snorted, dampening a washcloth with fresh water and dabbing the bloodied area around my lip with it.

"Where else did he hit you?" Daniel questioned softly, pulling my hair back and handing me the elastic around my wrist. I tied my hair back into a pathetic excuse for a bun, flinching again when Daniel accidentally hit my split lip, making him recoil and mutter an apology. "Shit – sorry."

"My stomach."

Daniel sighed, wiping the majority of the blood away and tossing the damp cloth in the sink. "Lemme see."

"Nick, get the doll some food and wash her shirt, will ya?" He leaned backwards to gain view of our friend.

"Presto, captain!" I laughed at my friend's response, and then lifted my shirt past my stomach for Daniel to see the damage. The mark where Rick had buried his foot was beginning to bruise, and, as my friend noted, he could see the beginnings of the outline of a large boot. Daniel patched my lip up the best he could – which just meant placing a Band-Aid on the outside of it and telling me to not talk for awhile – and then placed me on the couch so that I could eat. We sat watching TV for a while, laughing as certain stand-ups came on and changing the channel when we got bored.

It was nice to know that I could come to any one of my friend's houses and be supported. I was given more help here than I could ever imagine. Feeling safer in homes other than my own was not a new feeling, but every once in awhile I was reminded of the severity of the situation; I wasn't safe in my own house, and that was a problem.

"Did you pack up all of your stuff?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "There's nothing left at the house."

"Good." He nodded, shoveling more microwaved chicken and carrots into my mouth. Once I had placed my fork down and refused to take another bite, he had taken to 'airplane-ing' the food down my throat. It was annoying, but he had a point; I was going to have to eat something to regain my energy. I hadn't had a proper meal in days.

"Y'know, Kathy," Ken piped up once I lifted myself off the couch to clear my plate. "If he keeps hitting you like that and we're not around, what are you gonna do?"

I stopped cleaning my plate in the sink and froze in spot, aware that the only sound behind me was an episode of Saturday Night Live. "Uhm…" This wasn't usually a topic that I enjoyed talking about; in fact I tried to avoid it as much as possible. There were many reasons why I couldn't just 'report' Rick to the police. The first of said reasons being that I had absolutely nowhere to go. If him and my mother were both on welfare, the combined checks would be giving me more income, which I could use when I actually needed it. The other reason that I never took lightly to the suggestion of reporting Rick was that I didn't have a very good connection with the police. I had been held in a juvenile detention center for a couple months on charges related to assault – my ninth grade teacher still despised me – and my never ending issues with authority only grew worse from then on.

"Go to the police?" Nick suggested, shrugging his shoulders and pretending like it was a haphazard suggestion when really, him and Ken knew exactly what they were pushing on me. I hated when people cornered the conversation like this. I knew what was going to have to happen eventually, and so did all of my friends (who were more like my true family now that I thought about it). I just didn't like to think about the day when I was going to have to go to the police station to turn Rick in.

"'Cause, y'know, if you go to the hospital they're gonna ask what happened." Ken eliminated my next suggestion. "What he's doing is illegal."

I felt tears well up in my eyes, frustrated that my friends were trying to push me into talking about this. It was bad enough that I was apparently 'concealing a criminal', but now to have people pressure me into making a decision that had me shitting bricks? I couldn't stand it. I heaved a sigh, left the dish in the sink and went to grab my pack of smokes. No one said a word, and Boomer stayed beside Daniel. It was weird; even my dog knew when I needed time alone.

I smoked my cancer stick in peace, trying to forget everything and anything that came into mind. It was easy to only focus on the burning fag in between my fingertips and concentrating on each inhale and exhale, but the hard part was blocking things out. Nevertheless, I managed to disregard my screaming conscience and rationale for about five minutes.

When I eventually did crawl back inside Nick's lair, it was dark and the TV was shut off. Ken was on the couch, taking up the majority of the space, and Daniel was laying head to head with Nick on the floor. He motioned for me to come between them, and covered me with a blanket once I did. It was warm, cozy and it smelt like Daniel – which I realized probably wasn't a comforting smell for a majority of the planet, but for me it meant that I was safe.

I was home.

* * *

The bell had just rung, signaling the release of the students and prompting the flow of kids from the front doors of McKinley high school. Lindsay, Boomer and I made our way across the parking lot where the big yellow school bus was parked, intent on speaking with Mr. Rosso, who looked like he was having some troubles with his car.

"Come on…come on," He muttered, trying to unlock the vehicle from the outside and growling when the lock wouldn't give. "Damn it! Come on!" He jerked the car handle violently, making the car shake slightly. I bit my lip and tried to avoid laughing out loud for his sake; he seemed pretty frustrated already.

"Mr. Rosso?" Lindsay placed her hands in her pockets. "What are you doing?"

"Lindsay. I locked my keys in my car."

"You need some help?" I offered, stepping towards him with my friend.

"I think I can handle it." Mr. Rosso's tone was ice cold and extremely unfriendly, something that I hadn't been expecting and sort of slapped me in the face. Lindsay and I immediately turned to walk away with sour looks on our faces, understanding that Mr. Rosso had decidedly turned into an asshole for a day.

"Oh," Mr. Rosso called us back, and we reluctantly returned to our previous spot. "Bush's people?" He motioned to Lindsay with a small piece of paper, handing it to her. "Rejected your question. So they've written one for you. Here."

"What is your favorite place to eat in the state of Michigan?" She read aloud from the small card, making a face. "What the -? What happened?!"

"The Bush people found the ones you wrote too…sophisticated." Rosso explained, his long hair swinging back and forth as he continued to try and pry his car door open.

"Sophisticated?" Lindsay sounded very displeased. "What does that mean?"

"That's code for: 'Nice try, but this is a glorified photo opportunity'." Our guidance counselor clarified.

I shook my head in disappointment. It was supposed to be the government of the people, for the people, by the people. Had no one but me remembered Lincoln's Gettysburg address? If we couldn't question our politicians about actual events that held actual meanings in society, the government had lost its connection with its citizens. It was unfair that real questions like Lindsay's had been shoved aside just so that photographers and journalist could fill the papers up with more crap about the dietary concerns of our Vice President. Who the hell cared where Mr. Bush liked to eat steak? We wanted to know the important stuff.

Lindsay scoffed in disappointment, and Mr. Rosso stopped trying to break his window for a minute. "Look," He sighed. "I'm disappointed too. But let's try to keep a positive perspective on all of this – okay? Like you actually get to interact with the Vice President of the United States! That's a story!"

"Ooh!" I grinned sarcastically. "Maybe if we're lucky he'll let us know which steakhouse has the best prime rib!"

"Don't you think I'm P.O'd too?!" Mr. Rosso raised his tone of voice at us, ripping the long piece of metal out from in between his window and car door handle. I was growing increasingly frustrated at his inability to unlock the car. "I thought we were gonna have an actual political conversation! You can't win with these people. You know what all my protesting in the sixties accomplished at Berkeley? Sixteen scars on my head from a tear gas canister. We tried to get 'em to stop the war. They stopped the war when they felt like it. And now, all my compatriots are getting' rich, workin' Wall Street, and I can't get my keys out of my mother's car!"

By the end of his little speech my sympathy for the man had increased greatly. Before I had thought of him as some sort of pathetic little balding hippie with big ambitions that he never seemed to reach, but now I realized his story was much larger than that. Again, the power of listening was presented to me.

"What, that's it?" Lindsay stared up at him. "You're just gonna give up? Come on – there's nothing we can do?"

"No – there's somethin' we can do." Mr. Rosso nodded defiantly, and I had the sense that some sarcasm was coming. "You can go get Brooks the janitor to come out here and help me."

"Here, Mr. Rosso," I muttered, pushing past a defeated looking Lindsay and a confused Mr. Rosso. "I'll do it."

"I'd rather you not touch -" Mr. Rosso began, but after watching me bend a folded up coat hanger I had taken out of my pocket and gently move it in between the glass and the metal of his door, he quieted. It took ten seconds of shuffling around until I heard the little 'click' of the lock.

"Ms. Welsh," Mr. Rosso cleared his throat as I opened the driver's door for him, smiling sweetly. "I'm going to ask you a question, and if you don't answer, I'm going to assume that you do this on a regular basis."

I raised my eyebrows, prompting him to fire away.

Mr. Rosso paused for effect. "How the hell did you do that?"

I just kept the maniac grin on my face, refusing to divulge my car expertise. The truth was that when Daniel first purchased his Trans Am, he used to lock his keys in the car a lot. After breaking into his own vehicle a couple hundred times, he taught me the easiest way he knew how; with a coat hanger. Since I wasn't into stealing innocent people's cars and my family never owned any kind of vehicle of the sort, the skill was useless for a while. Finally, I had found a way to help someone with it.

"Alright," Mr. Rosso sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. "You two have a good afternoon. I have to go water my uncle's plants."

Lindsay and I watched him drive off with strange expressions on our faces, unsure of what to think of the whole ordeal. Boomer barked twice, and I lit a cigarette.

We continued on our way, as usual.

* * *

"No, you guys – really – Rosso's cool!" It was the next evening, and we had gathered on the hood of our respective cars to discuss what had happened the day before. Daniel had divulged in me that Amy was born an intersex child – something that I was sure Ken wanted to keep a secret.

"Do you ever really look at him?" Lindsay pulled my thought process back to the Mr. Rosso discussion. "He's actually kinda good looking?"

This statement prompted Kim and I to burst into laughter from either side of Lindsay.

"Yeah," Kim agreed jokingly. "If you're attracted to guys that look like Jesus."

"Shut up!" Lindsay pushed Kim, making her laugh even harder. We were interrupted by Ken and Amy, who greeted us with smiles.

"Hey guys." Daniel greeted them, twiddling a miscellaneous rounded metal object in between his fingers.

"What's that supposed to mean, Daniel?" Ken sounded upset, and I frowned. He seriously wasn't mistaking Daniel's greeting for a lowlife insult, was he? Ken should have known better than to make such heinous assumptions of his friends.

"How's it goin', guys?" Daniel tried to clarify, looking very confused and then drawing the conclusion. "Oh jeez – I didn't mean it like that." He raised his hands in surrender, even though he had nothing to surrender about.

Something inside of Ken must have snapped, because he lumbered forwards and punched Daniel right in the face, making his friend slam on the hood of his own car. Nick tried to interfere, only to receive a push to the chest. I slid off of Kim's Gremlin, prepared to either run away or find a pop bottle to bust open. I'd seen Ken fight; he wasn't the fastest on the planet, but he could beat shit if he wanted to.

"What the hell, Ken?!" Kim screeched, just as Amy also connected the dots and scrambled to get away from us. Ken followed her, leaving Kim and Lindsay very confused. Boomer started barking after Ken, but after a couple pats on the head he quieted.

"Hey Daniel, you okay?" We were all standing now, two out of the group looking very confused.

"Yeah, I'm alright."

"Are – are you guys gonna tell us what the hell that was all about?" Kim raised a hand towards the direction that Amy and Ken had run off to. I stayed quiet, not wanting to get into any drama. It really didn't make a difference whether I knew something or not; my mouth was sealed either way.

"Just forget it, Kim." Daniel muttered, patting his soon-to-be-swollen eye. Boomer brushed up against his leg, whining.

"Daniel – he just punched you in the face -"

"Give it a rest!" Daniel whined loudly, letting Nick lead him away into the vehicle. I hopped into the backseat of the Trans Am with Boomer, lighting a cigarette. There wasn't a bone in my body that wanted to get back into that Gremlin while Kim and Lindsay were confused about the punch. They would start questioning me; and when Kim knew that I knew something, she would interrogate until the crack of dawn. It was torture.

After we had dropped Nick off, Daniel announced that we were going to drive around town for a while to blow off some steam. This was fine with me; the backseat was cushioned enough for my bony ass not to fall off when he went fast over the speed bumps. It was a miracle that the car's shocks hadn't popped off yet. Daniel sped around town for a good twenty minutes, breaking the speed limits and running red lights with no one to watch him until he slowed down near Amy's neighbourhood. I had dozed off in the back seat against Boomer once his pace reached 40 miles per hour, comfortable with the smell of nicotine and Daniel. I awoke to the motion of the car rolling to a stop.

"C'mon man, get in." Daniel was speaking to someone outside. "I'll drive you home."

The figure outside didn't move, so Daniel coaxed some more. "C'mon – I've got sleeping beauty and Chewbacca in the back."

"Hey Ken," I sat up sleepily in the back seat, rubbing my eyes. "What's up?"

"Hey Kathy." Ken nodded, even thought we both knew exactly what was going on. Perhaps that was the reason why he didn't answer my question.

* * *

"Hey," Kim tapped me on the shoulder as I sat down next to her in the cafeteria at lunch the next day. The entire room was decorated with white, red and blue in honour of the Vice President's visit. There were press everywhere, and some guy in a business suit was reprimanding us to 'eat normally'. Even though today seemed like chaos, there had been weirder days at McKinley. "Where's Boomer? He wasn't out on the patio."

"I left him at Daniel's. His mother said she could watch him." I furrowed my eyebrows towards the front of the room where there were rows of chairs behind a podium. I assumed half of these were for press until I saw a familiar face stand to reach the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Cindy Sanders began, wiping tears from her eyes. I could only assume another one of her boyfriend had seen through her bullshit façade had gathered the nerve to break up with the bitch. "As the republican national committee student liaison from McKinley High School," She paused to sniffle a little, and I found myself rolling my eyes. "I am honored to present to you…The Vice President of the United States of America, George Bush." She raced off the podium as soon as the last word was out, and I found myself satisfied as her pristine little butt was whisked away. I had a deep-seated hatred for cheerleaders. Certain ones, anyway.

Kim played with her straw in her drink as '_Hail to the Chief'_ began to play, and the adults in the back of the room stood up with proud hands on their chests. Ken shouted a few proud words to his girlfriend, which I assumed was a signal that everything was okay between them, seeing as Ken only embarrassed the ones he loved most. I tapped my foot along to the beat as the Vice President entered the room, and as the questions started coming in, I found myself growing increasingly frustrated with the stupidity of my peers. One student even went so far as to ask Bush about his favorite color. I was beginning to think that all was lost until Lindsay stood up.

"Mr. Vice President," She began, not sounding nervous whatsoever. "My name is Lindsay Weir – my dad owns A1 sporting goods on 16 mile road." She earned an eye roll from some of the press for the advertisement, but continued. "My question is; why did your staff reject my question? Are you afraid of an open discourse with the students?"

The Vice President blanched and spluttered for a minute, turning to his assistant for answers. I smiled wide, satisfied that on a planet where every day there was surrender and people giving up left and right, stands were being made.

People were starting to speak up.


	19. Chapter 18 - Discos and Dragons

**'****Discos and Dragons'**

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**A/N: There is mature content right below this message in the chapter, so if you don't agree with it/it's not your thing; you can scroll down past the two large paragraphs. From then on after the divider, it's clean.**

The sound of skin slapping against skin was the only sound the reverberated in the grimy males bathroom at The Blue Hippo.

"Fucking hell, right there – holy shit!"

Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack.

"Jesus –"

I felt Jack grasp at my body, biting at my neck and jerking my legs up further around his waist.

"Fuck, I'm close."

Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack.

"I'm cumming – fuck, I'm -"

Jack let out a large groan and released into the rubber, disposing of it quickly. His pants, which had conveniently been lowered only past his dick, were slid back on. It seemed he wanted to finish business quicker than usual, because I was given my pack of smokes and the answers to the history final within the next hour. I knew it was illegal not only for me to sleep with whomever for the extortion of goods, but also for the man I was sleeping with to be stealing test results. When I learned that Jack Morose, a McKinley dropout-turned-methamphetamine dealer, had access to all of the school's finals, I was intent on receiving them. As it turned out, he charged a base rate for every exam paper. This was to be expected, but upon discovering that I couldn't offer money, we made a special deal. Each night of the week spent with Jack granted me one more exam paper and a pack of smokes – which equaled about ten dollars per night. My usual rate was ten per hour anyway, so I wasn't too miffed.

I knew I wasn't going to earn my diploma anyway; I didn't have nearly enough service hours and my missing requirements were off the charts. Still, I refused to be held back another year in ANY of my classes. This was why I was hell-bent on convincing my teachers that I had studied this year, and pass with a believable grade. A lot of new delinquents made the mistake of just handing in the test paper they had stolen, but the real strategy was switching some of the correct answers to wrong answers. At least this way, if you were caught, the teachers would be confused while they were grilling you out. I also liked to just copy from the stolen paper in the classroom as opposed to switching the test papers. This way if I wanted to, I could sell it next year or even to a burnout in the next class. It made the cash flow a lot easier – which was why I enjoyed finals week.

* * *

"Alright, boys and girls come on – settle down." Mr. Kowcheski paced back and forth across the front of the room with the test papers in his hand. "It's test time."

I grinned like a madman. Even though sitting hurt at the moment, and I was fairly certain that my breasts still had Jack's teeth marks in them, I had all of the answers to every single exam I would be taking. I couldn't wait to see the teacher's faces.

"You know the rules," Kowcheski continued, turning to write something on the board. "If you pass, you fly. If you fail, you get to look at my pretty face again next year."

I let out a big sigh from my spot near the back left corner of the classroom as he began to hand out the papers. I was glad I was getting math over with first; these equations were going to be hard to copy out. Thankfully, Kowcheski stayed seated for the majority of the exam, and my small frame remained well hidden behind the lumbering figure of Harrison Acloid, a rather large boy who would never understand what an amazing help he was to me.

I finished copying out all of the answers just in time, making sure to make mistakes in questions that I could afford to lose marks in, and hardly noticed that Daniel hadn't been in class since the first fives minutes. I looked around, wondering if anyone else was missing, and noticed Dave Flurry's seat was gone. Uh oh. This meant trouble; Daniel had been paying Dave for a long time each year to give him the correct test results, and each year Dave had been extremely friendly about it. But this morning, Dave had fallen from halfway up a rope in gym class right onto the wooden floor. It was beyond me how he missed the mat, but apparently his body weight had fallen on his right arm, and the school had been forced to wheel him to the ER.

I hopped out of my seat with an idea in mind, turning in my test paper and tucking the fake out away in my bag. I raced down the hall in the direction of Daniel's locker, only to find the area empty. I then checked the stairs and the boy's washroom – which got me some strange looks – and then Kim's locker. Nowhere to be found. After that, I began to think like Daniel. If he was panicking and about to take an exam that he didn't have the answers for, where would he end up? I had time to think, fortunately, because we had our science exam after lunch.

"Fire alarm!" I thought out loud, bolting in the opposite direction towards the guidance office and almost knocking over some freshmen on the way.

Just as I thought, as soon as I arrived at Mr. Rosso's office, Daniel was walking out with a mopey look on his face.

"Daniel!" I flew towards my friend, bouncing in excitement. He didn't look too thrilled, but cracked a grin once he saw how happy I was. "Guess what?!"

"What?" We continued walking, him with his shoulders slumped and head bowed.

"Don't look so sad, buddy. I got real good news. We're gonna pass – both of us."

"What're you talkin' about, Welsh?" Daniel made a face. "I'm not passing for shit. I have to retake the math final and Rosso caught me tryin' to pull the fire alarm. I gotta join the freakin' AV club."

"Turn that frown upside down!" I sang, pulling him into our secluded area behind the stairs and whipping out the math test paper. "I screwed Jack for all of these."

Daniel grasped the paper in his hands, looking as though he had just seen the antiVictort. "You're kidding me!"

"Nope." I crossed my arms and lifted my chin proudly.

"Wait, you -" Daniel narrowed his eyes, lowering the test paper. "You slept with…Jack? Katherine, what the hell were you th -"

"Oh shut up," I snapped, grumpy again. "I've do it every year, you know that."

Daniel was quiet, eyeing me as I took the rest of the papers out of my bag. "Here's my suggestion – when we can, we use them at the same time. You know the drill. When we don't have class, we switch – but we have to get them back at the end of the day, okay?"

Daniel nodded furiously, eyes like steel. We had only collaborated like this a couple times before; usually when you were cheating it was every man for him or herself. But I couldn't help but feel for Daniel; I didn't want to see him flunk again, and he really needed to pass Kowcheski's class.

The next couple of days were extremely similar to one another; Daniel and I running around like lunatics trying to keep a secret while passing each other the answers to each test. He finished the Spanish exam while I finished the History exam, and vice versa. It was a relief that we were taking all the same courses; otherwise I wasn't sure what we would've done.

* * *

It was lunch, and I was heading outside for a smoke when Kim stormed past me. I let her leave, considering how angry she was looking, and continued on my way towards the exit, looking forward to my cigarette. Unfortunately, I ran into Daniel, who was in the full mood to chat. He was in a rage about Kim, who had blown him off and refused to listen to his problems. We sat outside on the steps, watching the cars pass by on the highway near the back of the school.

"I can't believe she doesn't support me," He whined, accepting the smoke I offered him. "After all the crap we've been through. I mean – I listen to her!"

"She's stressed too, Daniel. Everyone is. It's finals week."

"I know. I know." He hung his head, taking a very long drag of his cigarette. "I just hate this stupid AV thing."

"Just try your hardest and do your best. You never know when you might learn something knew." I rubbed his back, trying my best to comfort my friend.

"Ugh," He whined, dropping his head into my shoulder. "What the hell is happening to us, anyway? Nick is fucking Disco dancing with Sara, Lindsay is going to the academic summit…what the heck is going on?"

"I dunno about everyone else," I frowned upon hearing the mention of an academic summit. Nick's dancing was old news – just another one of his pathetic attempts to get back a girl that had no interest in him. But the summit? Poor Lindsay surely didn't want to go to _that _atrocity. "But I'm going on the Grateful Dead tour with the fuckin' hippies. Boomer loves _American Beauty_."

Daniel grinned. "I hope you have fun. Deadheads are terrifying."

"No," I bumped him on the shoulder. "They're just very loving sixty year olds who happen to love psychedelic drugs."

* * *

"Hey!" Kim and I greeted Lindsay as we crossed paths later in the afternoon.

"Hey." Lindsay's voice was monotone as we brushed past the droves of students rushing to get to their final weeks of classes.

"What's eating you?" Kim gave Lindsay a weird look.

"Huh?" Our friend seemed to shake herself out of a thought process and was drawn back into the conversation. "Oh, nothing. I just wish I didn't get into that Academic Summit – it feels like I'm going back into school again."

Kim let out a sarcastic snort. "Life's tough."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lindsay frowned, pausing by the staircase.

"It means you've been moping around ever since you got into that stupid thing." Kim clarified, leaning against a wall and crossing her arms. "At least you get to get outta this town for a little while."

She had a point. Chippewa wasn't exactly the number one tourist destination in Michigan. Sure, it had a native name and some interesting background, but it was filled with your same old carbon copy patriotic republicans, which wanted nothing more than to American-ize every single piece of land until nothing was left but McDonalds, KFC's and Walmarts.

"Kim…" Lindsay looked around, confused as to why her friend was getting so upset. "It's summer vacation…you can go out of town too! You can go anywhere you want."

"No I can't, Lindsay." Kim looked very somber. "I don't have any money. And besides, Daniel never wants to go anywhere anyway."

"So? Go without him! You don't have to stay here." Lindsay spread her arms out slightly to exaggerate her point.

"That's easy for you to say, Lindsay." Our blonde friend made her way towards the stairs. "Cause you get to leave – I don't."

I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to pipe up and say something, so before Kim could escape, I made a last ditch effort to not let the situation develop into a fight.

"Hey Kim! Wait!" I called after our friend, who came trotting down the stairs quickly. "I have an idea. You know the deadheads, right?"

Both of my friends nodded uncertainly.

"Okay, well when school gets out, Victor,Laurie and I are gonna take Boomer in the big van and drive after the Grateful Dead – it's nine concerts in a week…it'll be a riot and a half." I grinned, adjusting the strap on my bag out of nervous habit. "You don't have to come if you don't want - but if you get bored halfway through just bus back to Chippewa! There's room for more in the van!"

Kim enjoyed the Grateful Dead, but I wasn't sure if she was willing to climb into a frequently-used-for-hot boxing truck to tour with the weirdos that Victor andLaurie (and their goofy friends) were for a whole week. But alas, I should have remembered to stop underestimating my friends long ago.

"I'm totally in!" Kim grinned, throwing an arm around my shoulders. I smiled up at her, laughing with joy at the fact that I was capable of producing an opportunity like this. "Lindsay, what about you?"

"Well," Our friend seemed hesitant. "The Summit happens on the same week…so I'm not sure."

"Oh come on," Kim pushed. "Just tell your parents that you're going to the summit and then come tour with us!"

"Lindsay, I promise you – if you don't want to do this, you don't have you," That comment earned me a shove from Kim. "But I can promise you that this tour will be the time of your life if you decide to come. I've been to a couple of Grateful Dead shows before. They rock."

Kim agreed wholeheartedly, and Lindsay decided that the plan of convincing her parents she was going to the summit was airtight enough. For now, it seemed like she was going to join us on tour, but knowing Lindsay and her decision-making skills, that could change very rapidly.

* * *

"- and there's a dungeon master, and you get to save princesses and everything!" Daniel ranted as we lay on his bed that evening. He had just returned from a Dungeons and Dragons session with the Audio/Visual McKinley boys, the club that he had been forced to join when Mr. Rosso caught him pulling the fire alarm during the math exam. "Oh and did I tell you? At lunch we learned how to take apart a headset."

"Sounds like a blast." My monotone voice came from it's squished position in his armpit.

"Nah," Daniel gave me a tiny shove. "I'm serious. These geeks are startin' to grow on me, I swear."

I sat up slightly, leaning on my elbow to stare down at Daniel. "Do you really like 'em?" I found it extremely hard to believe that he was befriending the people he so conveniently

"Yeah!" Daniel made a face. "The only thing they have a problem with is when I take my smoke breaks."

I scoffed, smiling slightly. It was nice to see that some things remained the same. "Yeah, they _would_ have a problem with that."

It was a comfort that no matter where Daniel went and no matter who he became friends with, he would always have that extra baggage – that tone to his voice, his cheekbones, his dark eyes…and a pack of 20 in his back pocket. Most often half empty.

"Anyway," Daniel pulled the covers up slightly after noticing my shivering and wrapped me closer. "I hope they like me too. Even if I'm really freakin' bad at that game."

"Hey," I frowned a bit, looking up at my friend. "So does you joining them make them freaks or you a geek? Because from what it sounds like, you're leaning towards the latter."

"Shut up, Welsh." Daniel grinned down at me, his right fist swinging around to gently punch me in the stomach. "We'll always be fuckin' freaks."

* * *

"Alright, you've got five shirts?"

"Check."

"All your jeans?"

"Check."

"Smokes?"

"You know it." I grinned, lifting my familiar duffel bag. It was a week later, and I had packed the essential for the Grateful Dead tour last night with Daniel, making sure that I had all the merchandise necessary to enjoy myself as much as possible. The only concern I had was feeding Boomer, but I was sure that we could stop along the way and beg for some food for a 'poor, helpless girl and her dog'. If I had earned a ride to school almost every morning of tenth grade, I was sure to find someone to feed my adorable canine.

Daniel sighed, wrapping his arms around me tightly. "Have fun and take care of yourself. I'll be right here waitin' on you when you get back, an' I'll let Ken and Nick know where you guys are headed."

"I will." I buried my face into his shoulder, smiling wildly. "And thank you."

"Uh huh. And if you smoke more than a pack a day, I'll skin you!" Daniel pointed a finger as we released each other.

"Yeah, yeah!" I waved a hand and picked up my duffle, whistling for Boomer to follow. Daniel patted him once on the head before we headed off down the street. I was to meet Kim, Victor andLaurie about two blocks from Daniel's house, where we would wait for Lindsay to arrive

Boomer barked twice, and I lit a cigarette.

It wasn't long before Victor andLaurie's van came into view. It wasn't hard to spot – the odd paint job drew lots of attention and made the vehicle easy to identify. I was greeted with warm smiles, an already lit cigarette and lots of hugs. Around ten minutes later I found myself leaning against the van next to Kim, trying to avoid ashing my cigarette on Boomer, who was laying right next to my feet. One of our city's buses came to a stop near where our van was parked, and I could hear Kim holding her breath as each passenger exited the large vehicle. It seemed like we were going to have to wait another ten minutes for our friend until a familiar face stepped off of the ugly orange shuttle.

"Lindsay!" We cheered, rushing towards her and wrapping her in hugs. We pulled her towards the van, gabbing excitedly as we tugged off her frumpy looking jacket and replaced it with her traditional army jacket. Victor andLaurie greeted her with hugs as well, tossing her luggage into the back seats.

"I literally can't wait – I'm going to pee my pants!" Kim jumped up and down, causing Lindsay and I to laugh out loud and Boomer to bark wildly.

We piled into the van, and rode off into the sunset like the elated bunch of teenagers that we were, thrilled and more than happy to be spending a week in a van together.


End file.
